Imagine A Deeper Connection With Your Horse
Jun 9th, 2009 by Carolyn Resnick Method
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Can you imagine a connection from a deep bond with your horse, a bond as deep as horses have with each other? Imagine your ability to lead, listen to your horse as well as to set the rules that create order and well being and a desire to dance in a partnership. Share on my blog if you will about a horse that you own or have known or herd about, read about or have see or imagine that fills your spirit as a true dance partner and then describe him, or make one up. When I was a child we would play games with our friends by describing the greatest horse we could imagine and then we would become that horse and run around town in a large herd acting out your roles and supporting each other and fighting imaginary predators.
With the Insider Circle group put some music on and dance with your imaginary horse at liberty with music to increase the timing of your body language and to let go of the adult mind and get in touch with your core energy. I practice this all the time.
- What do you want in a relationship with a horse under saddle and why would a horse want you and how could you tell if your horse wanted to be ridden.
- In my book I speak of Moonlight’s taking me for a ride and I describe the feeling not as well as I would have liked because words are hard to describe such feeling of trust and connection. If you ridden a dressage horse that was magical share it with us.
- Make a list of the horses you have ridden that felt like magic and describe the feeling. Just write their names on the blog if nothing else as a remembrance and thank you. Or take time and choose something to write about on the list above.
Insider Circle Journey write on one of these ideas or all of them and surprise yourself form you automatic writing. Get your pens going when you do not know what you will say and be surprised at what you will write. You will learn about what is inside of you that you did not know was there. I do it all the time. This lesson will help you to let go of your agenda with the Waterhole Rituals. I want you to sit with your horses until you do not care to move on to the next ritual and feel you would enjoy this experience with horses enough to be completely satisfied. We are not going to stay there but at least experience it for the next week. How can you have a deep bond if you do make the commitment to be with your horse in his world? Maybe at first it is not fun and maybe even painful but in time, a light of joy will be ignited and it is well worth the effort to let go and be present like a horse is.
My parents worked when I was too young to ride alone I would sit with them as well to intermingle with them most of the day waiting for the weekend. I would also walk around the herd and in with the herd not to disturb them and to be apart of them and behave like a horse and share space with horses like they did and kept my relationship with them harmoniously. I learned to love this time as much as when I rode. My ability to know horses, to lead horses, to train horse and to bond and connect with horses came from these times.
Don’t take this part lightly. Really, get lost in your own discoveries, make up your own way, and remember you are the one that keeps yourself safe.
Carolyn
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Does your blog have a contact page? I’m having problems locating it but, I’d like to send you an email. I’ve got some suggestions for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look forward to seeing it grow over time.
Yes! Here is the direct link it is under “info” http://www.carolynresnickblog.com/info/contact/
I think a lot of us share the same childhood dreams with horses. My horse was imaginary until I was 18. As someone mentioned, it didn’t seem right, riding, without connection. I trained 5 days a week for quite some time, but it felt wrong. Rode on and off, but didn’t start really riding again until 2002. For a year I rode, but still couldn’t find the missing piece. I found myself at a Parelli tour stop in 2003, sat there and wept. There it was. There was even a way there. Looking back I can’t believe horses put up with my journey. It was my journey, my healing, me that needed fixing.
Horses healed a childhood I survived, a life time of pain, a brutal divorce and years of struggle. I am not the same human I was, even yesterday, and horses have been my miracle. They have done what therapy, antidepressants, and time couldn’t.
Thank you Red, Jody, Mare Cash, Red Cash, Dollar, Delaney, Cowboy, Bennen, Bit, Bunny, Eclipse, and Gunner. There were more, whose names I can’t remember. That taught me balance.
The Beasts Know It
If you know that all is well, you know all you need to know. And if you know life is supposed to be fun, you know more than almost anybody else knows. And if you know that the way you feel is your indicator of how connected you are to Source, then you know that which only a handful of Deliberate Creators, respective to the total population, really know. The beasts all know it. Your animals know that all is well. Your animals live in the moment. They understand the power of their now. They expect the Universe to yield to them. They don’t worry or fret or conjure or make laws or rules or try to regulate. They are Pure Positive Energy. Your beasts vibrate more on the Energy scale of contentment than of passion. Their desire was set forth from Nonphysical, and continues to be set forth by those, like you, who want Energy balance, who want sustenance. The difference between the beast and the human is that the beast is more general in its intent. The human is usually less blended, usually less allowing of the Energy to flow, but is more specific. And that is why the human is seen to be the Creator while the beast is more the balancer of Energy.
— Abraham
Hi Carolyn, it’s been a couple of days since I did the exercises. Once again I find myself having to do them in the stables, because the weather has either been so hot, or we’ve had so much rain, my arena is like an olympic swimming pool. Matrix was very relaxed this morning and we started well. He was very happy to put his head where ever I asked. He would move it from side to side, and then I asked for a nose tuck. He gave me a small one without moving back and I was very happy. At that point, he picked up a hind foot (just a little) and yawned!! I took a moment and had a good look at him, and I don’t believe he was anxious, sadly I think he was bored. I have noticed that his concentration level is short at times. Although he stands with a dreamy look in his eye and seems quite amenable, perhaps he hasn’t quite reached the level of relaxation that he needs to block out or not be interested in the world/distractions around him. Tomorrow, I’m going outside, no matter what the weather is, and spend more time on having him truly relax and connect with me, before moving on to any exercises. Please let me know if I’m on the wrong track.
Thank you again for your insight – Lisa
It is so many years since I experienced my first encounters with horses that sadly I can’t remember their names. I am fifty now and rediscovered my dream last spring. I gave up riding when I was a teenager because somehow it didn’t seem right just getting on a horse and riding, I hated the whole riding school thing and the way they treated the horses. I loved horses but not like that, all I ever wanted was my own pony. I played horses, drew horses dreamt of horses. Every year I tried to win a pony and every christmas and birthday I thought this might be the one when I got my own. It was never to be my family just couldn’t afford it. Everyone used to laugh at me if we were watching TV and a Western or film with horses came on because I would cry if a horse fell over or got hurt. We had no horses near us nor did I know anyone who had one but wherever we went I looked out for them and could feel my heart race when I saw them on the road or in the fields. I knew then that the relationship was more important to me than anything else. A friend of mine was offered a horse badly in need of tender loving care last year and I went to see him with her. She couldn’t afford to buy him so I helped her. I had no intention of riding again and was adamant that I was a sleeping partner. However, he needed a field companion so another friend moved her 25 year old in his name was Sam. I helped look after him and we really connected, I was the only one he related to including the other horse who bullied him incessantly. I began riding again, when he had to go I loaned a pony and then was offered my very own Del 8 months ago. I knew I was taking a chance as he was an ex racer and was recovering from a tendon injury but in spite of him being shy around strangers we connected straight away and I fell in love. He took a while to settle in but gave him that time, knowing very little I just let my instincts work and ignored my horsey friends when they told me I had to show him whose boss. Watching him in the field with our other terror he turned out to be the gentlest and yet strongest leader. I watched for hours how he just gave the smallest signals so responded to him in the same way. This worked a treat, he no longer pulled back and I could put his headcollar on with ease. This didn’t happen when my other experienced horsey friend did it, she often found him difficult when I wasn’t there and this always amazed me as I didn’t have that problem. The first time I saw him lying down I never imagined he would let me walk straight up to him but he did. Just this made all these years of waiting worthwhile and was one of the now many magical moments I have shared with him. Every night I go to sleep thinking about him and this hasn’t wained in our eight months. I can’t wait to see him when I get home and love the long school holidays when I can spend much longer with him. He is my dream of all those stories I read as a child and nearly my Black Beauty being a dark bay. He never ceases to amaze me and challenge me to be the best partner he has ever had. Finding The Waterhole Rituals has just confirmed everything I have ever thought and to ignore everything I was ever taught all those years ago.
In loving memory of the magic with Nellie, Joe, Prince, Cricket and Miracle; and the moments, growing into minutes and hours of incredible delight with Renaissance Painter, Kira,and Jenny. Thank you Carolyn, for providing the door back to my childhood days when I was so enmeshed with my horses that we were truly one.
Dear Crissea,
Leave your horse with someting to eat and when he disconnects you can pet him and say good bye.
Thank you Carolyn for the wonderful reply. Today after the call I did some reciprocal movements and Andre was fine, then he started to follow me. Next thing we were together in companion walking, wow it was magical even turned right as one. Andre was very soft and gentle today. What is the best way to say goodbye after such closeness. I felt I had left part of myself in the paddock and Andre had his head hanging over the fence watching me leave.
Dear Kim,
thank you for sharing your story, it was very wonderful to read and i am right there with you.
Stina
Crissea,
So glad things are maturing and growing for you and how you are discovering the true nature of horses. It is also a univeral response they give use. It sheads light in the human connections and behavior. When we offer and allow the things in life that we do we can create working bonds as well as unworking relationships. You are begining to understand more fully how to use freedom, heart, awaress, flexable boundrings and your acceptance to work for you in a positive ways as a caretaking leader. You are also learning how to create your own path with my method. This is the only way my method can work for anyone. You are learning how much your choices in behavior, response, communication to others behavior brings fourth.
I am suprised you are suprised in your horse offering rudness because he had to show signs of it and you did not see the suttle changes. It is is probley you did not belive there would be any. Most all beings in life follow these patterns of behaviors from our response you are experiance with your horse.
Next time you will see them comming and that will improve your leadership. As you move forward remember to use the “Hello Rtual” when your horse looses trust from having to respect your rank when he would rather not. Make sure you train in short windows and keep it fun and respectable and safe. I think you should stay with with what you did with him for a few days before moving on until you have leading from behind so he doesn’t mind it at all and finds it relaxing. I want you to be able to lead him for behind for five minuets. Get your eye contact down so your horse develops the habit to know were you are at all times. Go between eye contact and pushing your horse of the food and then into leading from behind. I would start him on a ball so he can have fun.
On the eye contact let him eating in longer and longer times before checking him out on his focus or loss of focus.
Do many trips to the carrot bucket in companion walking and halting once before you get there. If he doesn’t halt then go to leading from behind instead of getting a carrot. Periodicaly take him back to the carrots in between leading from behind in “Companion walking.”
Finish sitting with him while he finishes his food as well as some time grooming while he is eating and feel the magic.
You trully understand the program and how to use it at this point.
Remember to stay in the energy of sharing territory though your practice of the other elements of the Waterhole Rituals because you are still in kindegarden just like want you did here with me before you stepped it up here with Marchadero.
This a factual account I have had wonderful times with Andre, today he was difficult but the end result was so fabulous. I could not believe the difference however I want to be sure I was on the right track. Then I can relax and explore the automatic writing and flow into the imagination.
Well it finally happened Andre suddenly became really rude. It came as a shock because it had taken so long. Andre began developing games to get carrots, he learnt how to make me laugh he would tip my cap off he would give me a gentle grooming then stand back and wait for a treat. One day I was sitting on the edge of his water tank and he kept touching my ears sniffing my hair rubbing my back and then taking gulps of water and spilling it over me. I had some tremendous laughs and because it was fun I was niave to where it was leading. However until last Tuesday he had never ever touched my bag even if it was open with visible carrots, he had never tried to reach for food under the fence line and he had never been a bully.
Well when I got over my shock of Andre knocking over the tack box, putting his head into my bag, rushing up to the food under the fence line and grabbing a mouthful of special treat, pushing me with his big head and stamping his feet – I realized it gave me an opportunity to shape his behavior. There was no problem with this because I can move him easily and he has respect for the reed. What did surprise me was his determination – he would dash away and in a few seconds would be back ready to grab a carrot so I had to have bigger energy to send him further away but ultimately he became more gentle and polite and he was rewarded when appropriate.
Then I was in for another shock. I put the head collar and lead on for a walk. The idea is I use body language to ask him to walk with me and then the halt body position for him to stop. Anyway he said no I am not going anywhere (maybe he was still peeved about the carrots or he was demonstrating lack of respect or work ethic). So digesting my shock I released him and had a 30 second ponder, now I knew I had to use the Ritual Leading from Behind. So that is what I did and as expected he ran away several times however he soon began to soften, lick and chew and stop – there was a bit of a time lag but then he I gave him a break and a carrot reward. When I repeated the ritual and he did it beautifully stopping pronto with lots of licks and chews. I walked away and he followed me to the sitting place. His attitude and whole demeanor and body posture was radically different. I explored touching his legs (he is tense about this) rewarding him. Then I tried a reciprocal movement pattern that is I walk up to him with energy and he steps back two steps then I move back asking him to come forward. I had never been able to get him to follow me, he would always step away but never forward. Well this time he did it I was so thrilled and gave him some special treat. I explored this 4 times trying to get more momentum and he responded. Then I put on his head collar and lead, guess what he was as keen as mustard to walk with me and to stop pronto. Then it was time to go so I gave him the bowl with the rest of the special treat. I wanted to explore eye contact from right and left hind position only. He has always been slow to move his hindquarters over.. This time he moved well from the left side, then after a short pause I tried the right side, no response, I made a sound and just flicked my hand and he shifted real smart eating but with his eyes glued to me. I left him to finish in peace and went and sat down. He came up to me as I packed and then we walked down to the gate together and I said goodbye and gave him a rub. It had been quite a momentous hour – I had spent two hours with ritual one and greetings but that last hour ended up being very special. I think now I should move on with the whole sequence of rituals?
Dear Carolyn,
The book The HORSE BOY, by Rupert Isaacson is incredible. I couldn’t put it down! Because the horses I got involved with @ Strozzi Ranch, now called Sky Horse Ranch, led me to studying with shamans and learning shaman ways with THE FOUR WINDS program/ Alberto Villodo, this book resonated with me in so many ways.
I believe in ‘energy’, and energy we cannot understand, but is around us all the time. The part I like best about your work, and this book is the way it involves everyday living, and everyday issues, with the magic of energy that we cannot mold, or know how it might work. The magic healing energy that horses emanate is, at this time anyway, so much more healing and in ways we could never put into words, but is felt, guides us, and changes our lives. It changed an autistic boy and his family and it is their story.
I do recommend the book, but even more so to anyone wondering, just keep on being with the horses!!
I truly believe that ‘the horse’s’ real mission is showing up, and the healing available is huge. Not always curing, but healing. I met you when I thought you had passed your baton on, and then recently found that you are stronger than ever and your voice is added to the horses voice, and it is so important, and wonderous and wonderful.
Thank you for believing and sharing and being a stand and a voice for the horse and ‘ground’ in a time that I believe you can begin to be heard. Anne.
Does this make sense to you?
Thanks for the useful info. It’s so interesting
I have been spending time with my three horses in their herd and have been accepted as a herd member. We stand about and groom each other and they wrap their heads around me and gently nuzzle me and include me in their ritual. ITs a great joy to me. I have been spending time sitting wtih them in the field and sharing space. I love this better than riding. I had sucha bond with my mare Scout before I ever took a riding lesson or studied anything and she and I would share hours alone in the mountains together alone. I felt art of her and she part of me. I could not refind this magic until I read Carolyns rituals on this website and her book Naked Liberty. I was struggling with my partnership to Kenai my Montana, range raised horse who would not accept me as his partner no matter what I would do. Recently, he has changed his entire countenance toward me. He softens, leans over and nuzzles me. He follows me everywhere now at liberty even about his favority horse partners..it appears I am becoming his favorite herd partner..the other day, for the first time he softened and stood perfectly still for me mounting him and I could feel the trust from him to me and me to him for the very first time on a tiny ride on our trails. IT was the beginning of something really special that I have been longing to find with him for five years now. He talks to me when I come to his stall always whispering in this funny squeaky little breathy wimper when I come about. I love this approach tomy horses and look forward to an ever growing relationship with them. I finally got it about being a leader..as the one who is asking something. I always ask as Carolyn says and leave them a choice to say no and kenai often says no..butits ok now because our partnership is more important and I am learning I can shape behavior on his yes which is becoming more and more frequent. The resistance is melting away and is almost never there anynmore…its very special and I am most thankful.
Doris in Pa
Dear Anne,
I wanted to recommend the book you said you are reading to my class.
Are you enjoying the book?
It is true the Sharing Territory has a great effect on the working relationship under saddle and on the ground.
Is is my hope to get the message out and utilise this way of being.
A few days ago I gathered up my courage to actually find a chair, and bring my fascinating book (Horse Boy) and go sit with my horse. I say ‘gather courage’ because at my traditional barn I would prob feel silly, but I don’t really care, so I did it.
I sat and read for about an hour and during that time my mare came over to me to breathe in my ear, and stand directly over me, her head above mine and her knees just about touching mine. It felt like she was going to climb in my lap so I moved a few times. It was too hot to sit directly in the middle of her pod, so I was in the shade and had a wall behind me. Eventually I left, but before, from across the gate, she nuzzled me and we had an eye to eye conversation.
The next day I had a dressage lesson, and it was the BEST lesson yet!! I was able to let go of the tension wire that runs through me, and yet be ‘on’ her very connected. Our canter was really fun!! Afterwards she was with me, coming along quietly on a very soft lead (very unusual). She didn’t pull to go eat grass, or get upset when we had to go up to the wash barn for her worming.
It was pure magic! It did very much feel like we had a different connection, a herd of 2, and I was so much more relaxed.
Thanks, Anne.
Carolyn, I love this stream of thinking! I do alot of automatic writing and it is so wonderful to feel Source/Life move through the prism of my soul and through the language of Horse. Here is an excerpt from my book:
I enter the riding arena and stand, enfolded, full of the life that I have gathered unto me and within me through all these years of questing within Horse. My breathing slows to their cadence, and I look fondly at my sanctuary, my church, my meeting place. It is here, among others, where Horse has beheld me and whispered its secrets. Here, where I have melted into their form. Here they have met me and humbled me and given me their gifts.
My heart swells with joy –
here is where I have beheld the wonder of their life form.
Here they have drawn me out of myself into My Self.
Here I have known and been known.
Here all my secrets have unfurled into their golden light of acceptance.
Here my feminine power has touched all the soft forms of all the ages.
Here I am safe and free, accepted into the boldness of their Now.
Here horse meets me with the wisdom of their ages of serving and surrender.
Here they tell me the mystery of their secrets.
Here I am home.
I slide onto Valor and begin the cadence of timelessness. He walks and my hips glide, smoothing into one-after-anotherdness and the safety of ancient rhythm.
I feel my beloved gathering beneath me and he is rocking me in canter, earth far gone as we dream together of the Holy Now. Time outflows as we ecstatically lift and bend, swoop and flow, laughing into the endlessness of all that Horsehuman have been each to the other. Cajoling, teasing, calling softly to each other … he and I, we simply love in the movement.
It is holy work, this knitting of oversoul to oversoul, of horse to human, of instinct to knowing, of feeling to seeing. “Come my friend I shall set you free,” they whisper each to the other which is really them.
Words bend, twist, ache for the reach as they fall fallow beneath this great knowing. For to the furthermost they have ridden, where there is no thought but Love, no thought but Being, hearts woven in a sweetness that rips thought apart. Only Beingness can dwell here where First Thought lays a-borning.
Thank you all for downloading your own experiences into the human matrix, to create a new path for Horse!
Dear Kim,
Thank you for your story, guidance and encouragment.
As you pointed out Kim it isn’t until one can feel a connection to a horse just sharing space that one can develop a true bond.
I am never cared weather a horse wants to be with me because I feel complet just being around horses, I also new in my heart that the horse would come around in his own time and I do not care how long it takes because I enjoy the sharing space with them so much.
This is what I thing causes horse to bond and respct me. I am appreciate them for their presents and I am not needy.
The horses feel my connection, I do not need to feel theirs.
When you are needy a horse finds it hard to trust your leadership.
I have have people who come to be with the horses and that is all. Being with them is the reward.
This is the first step.
There would be more progress if people would sit with their horses and would like it better if the horse stayed away from them.
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you so much for your beautiful and inspiring post. You have reawakened my dream of knowing how to “BE” with my horses, like I was as a child.
When I used to go to the riding stable where my parents signed me up for riding lessons, my favorite time was sneaking into the black horse’s paddock, and just sitting with him, smelling the warm dust, making bracelets out of his mane hair.
Tonight with my horses I had the most amazing experience. I went out to sit with them. And they had mostly finished their hay. My thoroughbred mare Darma came over to visit me in my chair, as did my goat Angel who was adamant that I scratch her. Despite that distraction Darma approached me and for the first time instead of immediately asking for a scratch as she usually has been since I started sharing territory a few weeks ago, she appeared to like the idea of just hanging out with me – not asking for any attention – just being… A couple times she positioned herself with her butt to my chair asking for a scratch – so I moved her away – with my reed as I didn’t like being out of her line of sight and her so close to me with her rear legs. I had to be fairly adamant as she didn’t respond to the sound of the reed so I had to tap her a few times. She moved off finally totally relaxed but came back – and then I’d walk a little with her and scratch her and sit down again. But even with all that – I wasn’t upset or having an agenda – I was very relaxed just showing her my preferences. Then when I’d just sit down again – she would come up and stand with me – whiskers almost touching me. Her nose to the top of my head. After awhile she cocked her leg as if to take a nap. I felt so wonderful and peaceful sitting there with her. I felt totally safe and I felt like I was radiating with peace and happiness and love. And she was totally relaxed which is unusual for her.
As we stood there my gelding Mystico came up and clearly wanted to join in the wonderful feelings. Darma looked up and slowly walked over to him and invited him to groom!!!! She has never done this ever unless she was in heat – and even then you could tell Mystico was cautious – as she usually would nip him, but this time – they seemed completely relaxed together for the first time ever, and she allowed him to groom her. and never nipped at him. Then she walked back over to me and put her head almost in my lap, and then Mystico also wanted to be with me so I invited him to my other side. He approached and I had one horse to each side of me. I felt it was safe to be sitting between them which I never would have dreamed of ever feeling before. Mystico started nuzzling me. Darma continued to be still, her eyes were half closed, and I was in bliss sitting between them, feeling safe, and feeling so much love blossom in me. I was falling in love with my horses again.
After awhile Darma gently left, and for the next half hour or more, Mystico licked me and licked me – my bare arms, my shirt, my neck. Alternately nuzzling and licking me. I remembered you saying that is what it is like to have horse courting you… It was so so sweet and wonderful and safe. At times I would get up and ask him to walk with me and we’d walk around the paddock together, then I’d scratch him a bit as a thank you, and then I’d go sit down and he’d gently come up and start licking me again. It was pure heaven, pure love… I am so thrilled and amazed. These are the feelings I’ve sought to re-experience all my life… you have given me back my dream horses… and they’ve been here all along, only I didn’t remember how to find them…
I just want to say for anyone who doesn’t understand the First Ritual… to try to allow yourself like Carolyn says – to become like a child, full of wonder, to return to the place in your heart where it is a blessing and an honor to be among these creatures. To even share a part of earth with them, is the most incredible gift. They are all wild horses in their hearts, and if they choose to be with us in any way – we are truly fortunate beyond any gift we could receive.
Too all the dream horses I have loved and painted, I say… now I am experiencing in my life what I knew was possible in my heart.
Carolyn, you always say the most amazing things. We are on the same page. I’m forever preaching the “get back to your childhood” with your horses. There is not need to take everything so seriously and train, train, train all the time. Just BE with your horses. Take them for a walk, hang out, whatever. Hop on halter and lead rope and let them wander around. Last night in the midst of building a barn, here comes my 25 yr old boy who wanders. He came ambling up, I swung up and we just hung out for a minute. Then I hopped off and he wandered away.
As for those wonderful horses we connect with, I feel it with all kinds. Not every horse, but a good percentage I can get along with, ride easily and we just connect. There’s been lots of them!
But back to the childhood thing. I keep in mind not everyone had horses as kids, and got to spend the time with them that we did. Even if a person didn’t have that childhood, it’s not too late. Go sit in the dirt next to your horse and draw pictures with a stick. Just simply be with your animal, and like you said, live in the horses world. Many times they’re in small pens without anything to relieve boredom. Just being with them, they want the interaction.
Working with my wild Sugarfoot, we’ve done a give and take of time. I go in every day, and at first I was not welcome. Now, she enjoys the “work” that we do, and most recently I’ve stepped inside, turned to close the gate, turned back and there she is, 2 feet away, wanting a carrot or a touch. A far cry from the wild thing I caught last fall…. but many times I don’t do much of anything in terms of “work”. I just go in, give a carrot and some strategically placed rubs and leave. It’s technically “work” touching her in her spooky spots, but it’s not bad for her. And she’s left wanting more from me.
Love your insights and how you get people thinking!
I picked Lalo out of the stud pen at Palomino Valley, NV. There were hundreds of horses in those pens all captured by the BLM from the wild. Lalo is a flashy little sabino AND he has the most beautiful big kind eyes. This is how I chose him is by the eyes. I remember leaving the pens finally and he seemed to be staring toward me. This was a pivotal moment of joy and excitement. My first horse!!! Though challenging in many many ways he has exceeded any dreams I had as a child of horses. I saw myself riding them along the roadside at a gallop, but I never say them or experienced their humor, their questions, a battle of wills or the harmony of being together. We still are journeying toward more trust and more dancing but it has been so important to get to know him and to get to know myself.
My other horse, Frisco, is like a fairy tale spirit. I adopted him as a wild terrified weanling and gentled him myself. His sensitivity and depth are so much more than I imagined as a child with my plastic horses! He also is very challenging and is teaching me things that I would never delve into if it weren’t for him.
And then there are the 4 burros. I didn’t know such creatures existed. I knew what a burro looked like but again, I didn’t know their beautiful depths.
Thanks to all of them: Lalo, Frisco, Bunny, Olli, Camilo, and Cinderella who is now known as Rainbow.
Thanks for everyone’s wonderful comments too!
My present horse Charisma is a magnificant part of my life. I remember the first few years that I owned her , I would look in her eyes and say who are you ,I know you. Something about her was so familar like she was part of my soul. I never thought that a soulmate would come through a horse body but mine did. My teacher Caroline Myss always said that our real soulmates are the ones that come to teach us the hard lessons and boy she did. I was so frustrated with this powerful mare for years , even tried to sell her (but she would never cooperate with any potential buyers). This was when I went to her and decided to become her student. Teach me how to be with you, teach me how to become aware of my body ,my surroundings, my inner world, teach me how to lead without dominence, how to have mutual trust and be together in our highest potential. These process took quite a few years . Now when we our together my heart soars, I truely know what the emotion joy feels like and when we ride, I am there to support her and her me. I tell people that she is so in tune to me that she would catch me if I accidently lost my balance . Riding her is like riding the wind. She is a very sensitive hot blooded horse and requires an experienced rider ,but I find myself wishing that others could experience riding her , to know what I feel, but I guess this is a gift from her to me , and what a gift it is . Maybe my gift to others would be to inspire and help them reach this experience with their own horse.
I deeply love you Charisma !!
Carolyn, thank you for the reminders “I want you to sit with your horses until you do not care to move on to the next ritual and feel you would enjoy this experience with horses enough to be completely satisfied.” Since Amber is not ready to be with me completely, I have to remember to enjoy the being with we do.
A horse I remember – London Fog
London Fog was my first horse; a grey mare off of a dealer’s truck (from the West). One autumn, I was able to ride her most every day. That season, we became partners, I think. I felt in tune with her movements and she listened to me. I had a glorious time.
Hi Carolyn
Thank you so much for this post , its such a fabulous opening.ie, understanding where we are and how we want to connect.
hehehe! Thank you so much! No this is once again the magic of one of Carolyns ideas! I wrote that straight onto the blog and didn’t read it though as i wanted to do the automatic writing she sugested. That’s why there’s some dodgy repetitions. But OH to be 9 again!!
Becky, I am so taken with your story. It’s magic! I think you could also publish this in any number of magazines or on blogs – perhaps you have already done that!
Thanks for sharing it with us!
Ode to my Boy
I knew you before I even saw you.
you were in my dreams,running free,looking for me ,blowing softly,knowing.
My heart bursts when I am thinking of you. Is it a dream…no,you are there. We are on the Path together sharing a journey.
Black velvet,satin soft,eyes of an old soul,so wise and full of wisdom of a thousand years past.
Proud arched neck, almost like chiseled from stone,nostrils flaring,sensing,testing the air, forelock blowing in the breeze.you take me to another place and time….I watch you and you watch me back,knowing that the dance has begun.
I have a Mare, Jazz who the first two years of living together defied my every try to closeness or even taking care of her. She HATED being handled and hated being patted and…well she just did not like us humans very much. (11 years old when I bought her, I saw her picture and knew I had to buy her….) One somehow gets what one needs;-)
My husband says we are made of the same stuff Jazz and Me and …yupp we sure are;-)
Now in our third year of sharing pasture we have a bond and we DO things together. In summer after “working” I use to walk with her at liberty to the waterbarrel and we both take a drink from the clear cold water. Sitting there in the morningsun with waterdrops falling from face and muzzle sighing deep contended sighs in syncronicity is as close as I can come to heaven and blizz. Then and THERE we just ARE.
The Language of The Corn
Mindy wasn’t my first choice of companion. She was old and limped, half deaf and had bad breath.
But most of all, she wasn’t a pony.
But Mindy earned me my pocket money to buy my pony magazines, so i walked her every day, accross the fileds behind the houses, down to the woods, and by the stream.
One day, Mindy ran. She ran into a field of corn and i couldn’t see her anymore! My heart thumped in my throat, ‘What would i tell Mrs Daniels?’
I ran and ran, through the corn. It got thicker and deeper, and all i could smell was the sweet corn. The corn was sticky and it started to grasp my bare arms and legs, pulled at my t-shirt. I lost sight of the sun as i got deeper still. My mouth was dry and i was still calling ‘Mindy! Mindy!’
Soon, i tired and i fell through the corn to the ground. As i fell, the corn seemed to cradle me. It became softer and as i was quiet now, i could hear the whispers of the corn as the wind blew through it’s ears.
I laid in this nest of thick soft corn, not caring anymore. I was too tired, too tired to keep looking, shouting.
I fell into deep slumber.
I slept for days, weeks maybe. I had magnificent dreams. I dreamt of purple hills and a sky with three suns. I dreamt that the stars fell all around me and when they landed giggling on my skin, they made me glow. I dreamt of a lonely wolf in a desert looking for water, dying in the hot dry sand. Then i watched his bones turn to dust, then the dust turn to glitter and be taken in a vacuum up to the sky. Then the rain came.
It was raining when i woke up. I felt the cool pitter patter on my skin and welcomed it as it was hot. I cupped my hand to catch the rain to drink as i was thirsty. And as i sat, rested and refreshed, i heard a rustle in the corn.
‘Mindy!’ I thought. As i watched the corn part around me, and the light stream back through the corn, there, standing in front of me, was the most beautiful white pony.
I should have been shocked, but in a way, i had been expecting her. Ofcourse, my white pony could speak. But only the language of the corn. I was now fluent in the language of the corn.
Soon, the white pony told me it was time to ride upon her back.
‘But what will i hold on to!’ I shreiked. ‘In my magazines, the ponies all wear saddle and bridles!’
My white pony laughed at me and ran off giggling, teasing me, tossing her head and skipping with her feet.
‘I’ll show you!’ I said. And off i went after her. we danced through the corn, into the night, until we found ourselves in a small clearing.
‘It is time.’ Said my white pony.
I knew she was right. The moon shone down and made her white coat silver. Holding on didn’t matter anymore because i was her and she was me. We rode into the night and her eyes where my eyes, my heary was in her hooves, and we pounded the earth until the sun came up.
(B.P. 32 going 9!!)
I can still feel the emotion coming from our eyes meeting for the first time. So Beautiful, so sweet, so caring all I could do was gently, guietly touch each of her eyes and at that moment she laid her head into my arms and My Heart was stollen forever. This connection that seemed instant to me I had never felt such a Bond with any of my other horses like this before. My hands then continued to gentley go over her polished coat. She was the most Beautiful color I had ever seen. She is a Black Point Dun and her coat is a copper penny color so it is Brillant. She is a Reg. half Arab and Guarter. Her confrmation is truly the best of both breeds and she has the gates of the beautiful animated Arab and the Quite disposition of the Quarter horse. A mind like Lilly’s is a treasure to behold. She is smart and whitty and always willing to please.
Perhaps 30 years ago, before I knew horses were not just for saddling and riding, I went to a county fair to see the animals. Beautiful orchestral music drew me over to an outdoor exhibit in which a man was, to my untrained eye, dancing to the music with his horse. The gorgeous, glistening black stallion was completely free to do as he chose within what looked like an easy place to escape, yet he chose to allow the man to float on, then off, then on and over him, dancing and turning constantly, without any visible cues. The audience was transfixed.
On that day, it became my dream to experience that closeness and trust with a horse. Given my love for animals, I was ashamed I had thought horses needed no say in whether humans rode them.
Three years ago, I became a horse owner for the first time. Now, with Carolyn’s program I feel like I’ve been handed the steps to making that decades-old dream a reality. Thank you, Carolyn, for making your program available and for using the internet so people around the world can learn it! It is such a huge benefit to horses and humans everywhere.
Deborah, I love your story about Mare Cash. She was healed by 13 deer! What a gift.
I’ve done a lot with my mare Sugar but the day I just sat down and read a book in her pasture,was the day I will never forget.
Sugar grazed for awhile and then come over to me and stood over me very gently, she had her hind legged tipped looking very relaxed and after a few minutes we were both sleeping together. I think she was haning over my head for a least a half and hour, I’m sure she would have stayed longer but my youngest son had to go to Kindergarten.
It felt like something magical had happened to both of us that day. I have sat with her again but she hasn’t done it agian but I’m okay with that. I love being with her and so I know make it a routine to do this a couple of times a week.
My best human horse friend was, Edie. Edie was Red Cash’s partner. I had the honor of sharing time with my friends horse, mare Cash. A lot of horses named Cash made it necessary for the extra name. Not a lot of people liked to ride with Eidie because Eidie liked to ride fast. I loved riding with Eidie, but mare Cash wasn’t so sure about running for fun. I remember her stopping 5 or 6 times to walk and catch her breath. She would give me a half hearted run, and then I would feel her start to tire, and I’d ask her if she needed to walk. She always did. One day, there were 5 of us heading up the bolting trail. We started in an easy canter, which moved into a gallop. Cash was holding her own, and I was yipping and calling her SEA BISQUIT! Suddenly, there were 13 mule deer running, pronking and jumping with us, racing us all up the hill. I think that’s when the light bulb went on for Cashie. Suddenly she understood. We are running for the fun of it. I felt her muscles bunch, the tension build, she gave a 1/2 rear and just exploded up the hill. She was not going to let the deer win! She was in the moment, and I was laughing, wooping along with everyone else. Five horses and 13 deer in a race to the top. When we did get to the top of the hill, we all stood there together, breathing hard. The deer began to wonder off into the sage brush, and the horses lowered their heads to graze and relax.
After that, mare Cash loved to run. Red Cash would let her catch him and then easily pull away. I could almost hear him laughing. Mare Cash went from a horse that would buck you off if you asked her to canter, to a horse that really looked forward to our trips to the bolting trail, Sand Canyon after a rain, or all those endless roads in the desert in Bishop where she could fly as fast as she wanted, just for the fun of it.
When I moved my horse closer to where I live there was a little girl about 8 years old who lived next door to the barn where I kept him. She loved horses and this was her first experience in an on going way to be with horses. She used to go down at feeding time and sit in his manger and watch him eat. She eventually started riding him with her mom and then by herself.
She went on to become quite a horse woman, she is 16 now and helps people with their horses and has such a nice way of “being” with them. I am so proud of her. She is helping me to started my 4 year old icelandic under saddle.
I think children naturally know how to just be with the horses as we did when we were young.
Thanks for the blogs.
Ritzy