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I find that a very important connection I have with horses comes from the subtleties and energy that we share back and fourth. For example, how I choose to connect each time I have been away from my horse. I might choose to be focused on him and greet him with my full attention because that is how he chooses to great me that day. Or maybe I meet him with my focus on the world around us rather than on him to display that I have my finger on the pulse of life. This way I can win his trust in the moment and enforce my important position as a valuable friend and leader. I consider all these things when I reconnect with my horse.
I make these decisions by how I feel, how my horse feels at the time and where his focus is. If my horse’s focus is on eating and he does not acknowledge me, I will sit down and wait for him to come to me.
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Wow great lesson. I will keep this in mind. Whenever I go to get my horse I call for her and she typically whinnies back to me. I will open the gate, step back, and she will walk right out and wait for me to put her halter on. When we’re riding I do focus on her, and how I’m riding, and then also the ground we’re going over (she has a bit of arthritis and she’s barefoot so I try to pick the softer ground for her when possible). I also tend to let my mind drift to the surroundings. We’ve really developed more of a bond recently by going out on the trails alone, she trusts me more now.
Wow…..great post and all the comments are wonderful to read. So much good information here. Since I have just recently found you I will go back and read other posts!
Wonderful, thanks so much!
years ago, I hung out at a small farm with a few horses. the border collie who lived there ALWAYS knew which horse any of us were going out to get, and she would go and try to “round up” that horse. I found this fascinating, and tucked this little awareness away. I have been doing bodywork for about 25 years, and early on I was not (or chose not to be??) conscious of “energy”, although my clients told me I was. I’ve worked on big ranches, and at 3-day Event facilities over the years, and loved feeling into the animals’ energy field, especially the sensitive ones. I liked to play a game of pretending to be looking here and there, paying attention to others, until the one I wanted “opened” and allowed me to connect. There’s a look in the eye, and an energy about them when they are willing to be with you! The border collie taught me alot about directing energy, and about how energy can be irritating or over-whelming when it’s not welcome, or the timing isn’t right.
Great Article! It was very interesting and really made me think!! You are very good at explaining and describing things!
Thanks for all the great articles, I always look forward to them!!
-Nicole
Very interesting post. I often experiment with my horses, using energy and thoughts. I’ll think something directed toward one of them in particular, and ‘send’ the thought with a picture if suitable, to him. I’ll then wait and look for his reaction. Sometimes he’ll look over at me, other times he’ll walk up to me. I’m also a Reiki Master, so when it comes to energy, it is all very intriguing. I’ll be coming back to read more. Is it ok if I put a link to this post on my blog? I have written a post about using body language and communication with regards to catching a horse and think this would be fitting to include.
Thank you for your thoughtful insights,
Loretta
On the topic of meditation One of my more profound experiences with the horses at the beginning of the shift beyond dominance was to meditate in my roundpen that was situated in the pasture the horses were loose in. I was so moved when one of them would come join me in there and grateful that the shift into holding the relationship foremost over the accomplishments came easily in that place. They took turns and consistently came in to join me. One of them that was abused would just look in the gate so I would help her in. Now I’d handle it differently like by joining with her outside the pen.
I’ll use the shift in focus idea too. When I go out walking with my little mustang he grabs at my sleeve or my glove with his lips which I understand to be him communicating that he’s anxious or nervous. I usually ttouch him around his mouth and in his mouth before we carry on and sometimes that’s not enough and he continues to try to hold my hand so to speak. I’ve tried giving him more changes of movement to focus on but that doesn’t work consistently either. I’ll add checking all around, attending to where my focus is when this happens and add uberstreichens(?) back into my repetoire. Can’t tell you how wonderful it is to have heard you on the phone the couple of times you’ve been on. I get so much food for thought and useful ideas. Thank you so much for making yourself so accessible this way.
Dear Jan,
So nice of you to write. What a great story and glad you are doing so well with Xcel. I am fine.
It is so important to know where we need to put our focus and energy to get a good response.
I have always found that the biggest results come from the most suttle shifts pauses and requests. It is like a dance and a courtship.
It is also important to hold a kind of energy and focus on all things in the moment to send out a message of respect and trust as a leader that will keep a horse safe.
There is a famous quote from an Native American leader who said I need to know were my people want to go so I can lead them there. What you did with Xcel is just that and it paid off along with TTouch. Well done!!
I do alot of energ balancing in myself and meditation to stay clear and in the moment even though I am naturally way. I find that meditation helps my horse to see me as a leader he can trust. Horses respond well to these state of being.
Great post and very sound and interesting experiences and insights It is hard for many of we humans to let go of our predatory intinct as we are encouraged to always stay focused and perform -obviously this just doesn’t wash with horses if it is not needed to maintain safety, in the present moment ,yet there are times when that focus or scanning is necessary for ressurance and so on -it is indeed about awareness and noticing the subtlleties which is hard if your head is full of business-like thoughts I am keen to learn to balance in seeing and being in the world from the inside out -I am sure my horses will patiently guide me along the way -thanks for all the great stories and human guidance Cheers Robina
Dear Sue,
What I was sharing with you was how the cowboys might go about greetintg a horse. I learned it from them.
For them they might go into a horse’s paddock or field and roll a cigerette and smoke it first and then check the fence line and stoop down on one leg for a while and wait for the horse to not care what he was going to do next and at this point he would walk up to the horse he wanted and put the halter on. Slow, smart and easy. Sort of how a cowboy might go about courting a woman.
There is little diffrence between the cowboy that waits for the time being right and myself. I weight untill the horse walks up to me.
Both are great. I use both.
The idea here is to become conscious in when the horse is ready before trying anything. There is a certen kind of charisma in each approach when you know what your doing and your horse is aware of the game and how he has control of the game a kind of connection happens that feels really good to the horse and real good to the man.
Carolyn,
This is very interesting to me. The idea of checking into the world around us. The thing today was that it was very windy. We have had an unusually cold winter but now have had several days of very warm weather so I needed to ride Xcel even though it was windy. I knew this would cause Xcel to be very ungrounded and probably start him bucking. So I told him I would lunge him first. This is normally the kiss of death. The only time he will lunge well is when the vet wants to see him (long story). But I had to get him to listen to me so I lead him up to the ring tacked up and did several TTOUCHes and work with the wand to get him to stay grounded and present in his body rather than leap up in the air in response to the wind. I got him to go around twice nicely in one direction and three times the other way without exploding and that was great and enough. So in this case I was getting him to ignore the world around him–or at least, not react to it. And to stay present in his body. Then I got on him. He wavered back and forth from reacting to staying grounded. and when he stayed grounded it was like he suddenly took notice of the world around him. Just looking around taking it all in. Then I knew he was going to work through this. We just walked around in the ring, over poles and making lots of turns. I had an assistant with me riding Harry. Then we went down the hill towards the barn and I let him make the decision as to whether we were going to go to the barn or keep going. He wanted to keep going so we rode across the street into the field there and I was able to let him make the decision again whether we should turn and go home or go on down the road. He wanted to go down the road. So we went that way for a short distance. A few times he lost his focus for a moment and wanted to leap or buck but I always got him settled again. Then we headed back and had to walk past a big tarp that the farmer had left in the field. I knew this could bother him so I did what I normally do–looked in the opposite direction of the tarp pretending it didn’t exist. So he ignored it too. This always works for me! But this is different than looking around, checking things out like you talk about but it sort of seems like the same thing. I mean its like I have checked out the world around me, found it of no concern.
I have not been able to do any liberty work because the footing where I normally work has been either frozen or very slippery. My riding arena is fine but is not fenced in. I think this was an important day for him!
Hope you are well!
Thanks Carolyn I too found that really helpful and timely : )
and I found it helpful reading everyone elses post too.
I tried it out and yes catching was easier today and tried it riding and yay .. that was easier too : )
Please can you clarify what you call the cowboys way of going to a horse? it would be fun to be able to try that too.
thanks so much
Hi,
the call of yesterday had been really so great!… of course like all your helps here. But to hear you even here in Italy was wonderful, plus to know that your Method will be presented in the magazine Il mio Cavallo! So, soon the authenticity of your path will be known here too. Thanks to you and to all who made all this possible.
Today, after greetings my horses, we were analyzing together all the different grass, and new herbs, some sticks, and suddenly a sheep herd was moving in the field nearby. We all stood, overwhelmed to see that white see, with some mules too, and I decide to go first nearer. Amazingly I felt all the attention of the horses in my body like a wave. Some follow me a few steps and after some seconds all together we were calming watching the new scenario.
It has been a so moving experience.
Oh yes, the call yesterday… I loved it! I think it’s so wonderful that I’m here in distant Holland and can hear you speaking so clearly as if your sitting next to me, giving everyone advice we can all relate to. I made notes and today I told my friend whose horse has problems with taking treats respectfully about your advice. So thanks on her behalf as well!
I can’t thank you enough for this post Carolyn. And to others who posted the positive results they got by just expanding their attention to the surroundings. I look forward experiencing the same.
ps: Carolyn, excellent teleconference yesterday. Thank you for that too
I am sure my horses benefit from these wonderful and warm advices. But I think i benefit even more. Being in a management position where you work with staff, students, economy, administration, meetings – my leadership skills are constantly challenged to develop.
Through working with horses using this method, i can improve my leadership skills while enjoying and relaxing at the same time.
So my horses train my leadership skills in the best setting in can imagine.
Conny wrote: “as if you are having a conversation with each one of us on behalf of our horses, and in doing so, provide horses and their humans with such a richer experience.”
I feel exactly the same, thanks Conny, and above all: thank you Carolyn for your marvellous insights!
A few months ago I attended a course in liberty work. The teacher said some things that you now remind me of in this article Carolyn. My horse (young Icelandic mare) seemed somewhat under pressure and confused now and then and the teacher asked me to totally shift my focus from my horse to the world around me (i.e. put my focus on anything but my horse). I had to walk around the arena, just observing every detail around me as if I saw it all for the very first time. In no time I felt my horse’s soft nose against my hand, with a beautiful look in her eyes, as if asking me if she could join me in enjoying everything that I was so obviously fascinated by. I felt so moved by that…
Also I learned, while lungeing her, to ‘show her the way’. At that moment I realised I had never done that… I’d always had my focus on her hindquarters, as if I could motivate them to move by just looking at them. My teacher told me that by doing that I indeed ‘woke up’ her energy, but that I didn’t show her where that energy had to go! In the moment I opened my body to show her the direction she had to take she immediately changed and started to go exactly in that direction and her confusion was gone…
Thanks for reminding me again Carolyn, we tend to forget these simple things and have to hear them over and over again.
Thanks Carolyn,
Stuart
Dear Carolyn–As always, your insights are so incredible and provocative–these are things that I am aware of and yet you describe this so uniquely–so personally–as if you are having a conversation with each one of us on behalf of our horses, and in doing so, provide horses and their humans with such a richer experience. It truly can be the little things that make such a difference.Thank you for helping me to remember that.
Gratefully and with admiration,
Connie Funk
I’ve got an older horse who was in the arena most of his life and though he’s naturally calm and accepting, we’ve had some understandable trouble getting used to trails. Last summer we made a lot of progress, and he became calm and relaxed-but-alert “out there”.
Then in the late autumn, all the leaves fell down in a rainstorm one weekend, and on Monday’s ride he was jumpy about the “new environment”. That same day, he stepped on a snake (which coiled up around his pastern before expiring) and all winter we’ve been in the midst of a huge setback because (as I think he may see it) I failed to protect him from these dangers. All winter he’d be out there just LOOKING for something to spook at – it was very frustrating. We did groundwork out there, we just hung out and grazed, we did everything, but he was still jumpy – especially in that corner. Nothing helped much.
Then I read some stuff on your site and when he’d pick up his head and get tense, I’d ask him “Stop – do you want me to check this out? Okay…”, and I’d do the same hypervigilant thing in the saddle. I’d look sharply to the left and right and behind us, making sure to “see” everything. Then I’d take a deep breath and relax, telling him “I checked it out. We’re safe now.” Pretty soon he trusted me to check things out for us and now if he gets bothered he just “asks” me to give things a look – I do, and the whole routine takes less than 3 seconds now. The funny thing (or maybe it’s the obvious thing) is that it’s also carried over into a much more trusting relationship elsewhere, and after that day his ground-tying has gotten much better too.
Sometimes I wonder what other things I’m missing. I just want to do my best by him, but we humans have pretty think skulls sometimes. I just hope a big heart will make up for it one of these days…
The way I approach my horse now is that I am his protector and he is safe with me. To prove that I am his protector I am always scanning the arena and surrounding area when I ride and am around him, or any other horse for that matter. I often tell my horse “Yeah, I see that cat over there that likes to jump in front of the horses and scare them or I see that truck sitting over there that wasn’t there yesterday”. This really helps my horse to relax with me it also helps me to not put him in any situation too soon that he can’t handle – it frees him up to have fun with me and learn anything that I might be wanting to teach him that day, or he me. Before I had a shift in my attidtude he would bolt and shy at the slighest changes in the environment because I was too slow in recognizing what he was feeling.
I think it just boils down to someone has to be in charge and if the person won’t or can’t well then the horse will and he will do what horses do to stay safe.
Great, thanks again for the advices and insight
Love Stina
So true! If I am in a hurry, seems like they would rather not have anything to do with me. But, when I take my time and “stop and smell the roses,” they ALL show up to spend time with me!
Hi Carolyn,
I really needed your prey animal vs predator focus right now.
)
Thank you so much for bringing it up. Extremely helpful.
Big AHA moment
Tonnya
What a great post, Carolyn. I love those ideas especially the ideas about what to do if your horse doesn’t come to you when he’s eating his hay. I whistle and call for my horse (lives in a herd 24/7) since I can’t always see where he is in his pasture which has a barn, a bend and a big hill in the middle of it. I usually only wait two or three minutes before he peeks his head from behind something. Depending on the energy betwen us, I either greet him by walking up to him, or turn my attention to something totally different from him until he’s really close. Then I spend some time conversing with him, scratching him and walking with him, sometimes playing catch me, or trot to me, then I reach the halter out to him and if he comes to me and stands on my right side I know he wants the halter on him. I’ll lift my arm around his head and he literally puts his head into the halter. That’s how I know we’re ready to leave the paddock. It’s so much easier and fun that way. I would like it better if we didn’t have to use the halter but with all the human/horse traffic around, it’s safer to use it. I have another story to tell – Now that the weather is warming up I also like to groom outside and we don’t have any hitching posts. I wasn’t sure how he would stand untied while I went back and forth to get different things I needed (I’m not well organized at times). But because I would always bring him a treat when he was tied in the barn and had to run to get something, I think he thinks I’m just going to get him a treat when I leave him outside and he is exactly where I left him a few minutes later. Of course, he’s right, I do bring him a treat. I was wondering how to go about teaching him to ground tie, but I think I already did it! Ha.
I never really thought about how my focus might upset my horse. It makes perfect sense of course, but I just never really considered it. I believe in our (horse owner’s) attempt to bond with our horses, we smother them. I am sure I am guilty of that. And each horse reacts differently. Some might not react, while others react violently. I certainly have to work on my focus. I am sure I have made more than one horse uncomfortable….
But the first step is admitting you have a problem! lol Now I will try to focus more on what I am doing.
Katie
I love how you say you match the horses energy when you go to see them. I’ve found this is a HUGE leap in the relationship with my horses. I allow them to approach me and decide when they are ready to start the sessions. And throughout the session if they choose to leave I allow it, because I figure they aren’t learning anything if they are more interested in leaving. It has helped me make LEAPS AND BOUNDS in the work I’ve done with them. I also love that you brought up the difference in perception from prey animal to predator. Horses don’t focus solely on one thing – that’s what gets them eaten – and humans have overpowering focus sometimes. That’s what gets them food. The way you put it really made that click for me. Thanks so much…again!