Communicating with a horse is like a courtship.
Try treating a horse like you would like to be courted, and then your horse will show you how he would like to be approached, this way you will discover a working partnership from a co-creative evolution that will grow into an amazing cross species bond built on love, affection, parenting and respect. Know that trial and error will, usually, have a positive result, because your heart is in the right place.
There as been several people a bit confused in how to communicate the fifth Ritual Eye Contact with their horse.
It is quite easy to put it into practice.
I thought I would break it down for those of you that would like more information.
What you are wanting to do is to develop your horse to have a habit of keeping an eye on you, not as a horse would on a predator but like you would do with a friend at a gathering of many people, where if you did not keep and eye on each other you could get separated.
The way you approach this ritual is the same way lead horses teach the younger ones to stay alert to knowing were the lead horses are.
I have found the best approach for training a horse is to train them in the same way horses train horses to help keep the unity of the herd and how they go about developing their courtships. Approaching your horse in this manner he will learn very quickly. This Ritual will help to prepare him for other training methods by developing his ability to relate to humans.
Practicing the fifth Ritual Eye Contact with your horse, you will develop him to keep an eye on you so you can direct him at liberty, and he will not miss your signals.
The first goal in the Eye Contact Ritual is to get your horse’s eye to track you when you begin to circle around to his backend to move him off his food. You wait until your horse is not looking at you to start your circle. At some point as you are slowly circling around to he back end he will look in you direction, when he does, return to your original spot faster than you departed, so he can see that when he decided to look, he stopped your advances.
When you feel your horse has returned to his original composure and relaxation you start again with the same pattern of circling around him when he is not looking at you. In a short time, your horse will figure out that he is controlling your ability to move him off his food by keeping a eye on you. When your horse understands his power to control your advances, he will enjoy this ability and increase his desire to stay focused on you. You, in return, develop a strong line of communication with him from his growing ability to stay focused on you.
The next stage of Eye Contact Ritual, when you circle around you horse to move him off his food, you continue to move around him until he or she will turn his neck to keep and eye on you. You do this by getting around to his back end, and he must bend his neck to see where you went. You no longer accept just the eyes tracking you, now you want the neck to bend in your direction.
After the horse learns this, you then take it to the next stage, where the horse will shift his hindquarters to keep and eye on you. Instead of coming right back to the front of your horse you keep circling to his rear until you get your horse too shift his hindquarters, it is very helpful to use a cluck at this time. When the horse learns when to look and when to bend his head, or shift his hindquarters, he becomes more confident and you will have light aids when you ask for a pirouette on the forehand.
Tip: When you get to the last stage of the ritual, alternate between keeping an eye on your horse’s eye and on his hindquarters as a way to influence your horse’s movements.
Any time I look at the hindquarters of a horse and cluck my horse will make a turn in my direction and shift his hindquarters away. This replaces a need to touch your horse to get him to shift his hindquarters. You will not have any reason to use more pressure and stronger aids to get your horse to respond to stepping sideways.
The right energy, intention and approach is the key to a horse’s ability to respond the way we would like him to. What has worked for me over the years is to communicate what I want the horse to do and then wait for a response. Any response at all is rewarded. I then wait until the horse is comfortable standing quietly for as long as I like. When I know that he will, then I can move on to asking for something new, or to repeat. I keep my communication simple and short, and ask myself, before I ask my horse for anything, what are the chances that my horse is going to respond the way I would like. Any request I make to the horse should only take place in the moment my horse feels relaxed and willing. I try to stay away from asking for things that would be a challenge for him. What does not challenge a horse in one moment might do so in the next and I must be aware of his attitude changes.
In the moments I have a connection and his willingness I can communicate quite softly or even strongly. How strong of an aid I choose is determined by what will bring me the best result. I imagine what would happen using a stronger or softer aid and then, when I have an idea of what would be best, I try it. In most cases, not all cases, it is better to error on not being strong enough with my aid. But, you can only error on not being strong enough one or two times at the most, three times will desensitize a horse to listening to you. Do not be afraid of being too strong with an aid once you have been too soft. If you are apologetic with your aids it will bring about assertive behavior in a horse.
Some times it is a very good thing you error on the side of too strong, if you have tried softly at first, because a horse knows why you got too strong from not listening to you the first two times, feels a bit guilty, and then he will make it up to you. Error can bring your relationship to a deeper connection if you take the time to win your horse back to a deeper bond. I have actually been too strong with horses and humans to break through some kind of armor that stands in the way of developing a deeper trust and friendship. The need to make up can open the door to a growing understanding and connection. Just don’t over do it by being too strong as a habit, let your errors be the reason you are too strong. Horses like you to admit a mistaken harshness with affection, a pause and allowing time to reconnect. We want a loyal marriage with a horse. Intentions and caring for the other is essential. Your horse needs to care for you and you need to care for your horse.
Have a great weekend and may the new horse and human sightings be plenty!
Carolyn
No related posts.
Hi all,
this is my first time writing on this blog and i’ve got to say how amazed I am at all the teachings and results.
I’ve recently just purchased the intoduction to the waterhole rituals and tried the first ritual with my horse Reddy. I’ve had him for a year and love him to bits, but he is very aloof at times and prefers to be alone.
He is the lowest member of the herd and so when I sat in the paddock with him, every one came up to say hi except him. He just kind of stood in the periphery and did not dare to come up any closer. I’m not quite sure what more i should do in such a scenario. should i move him into the arena to do this sharing territory where there are no other horses to pick him off?
Also, how long would one spend sharing territory after the horse comes up to you? After saying hello, can you then move on to the rest of the rituals? I guess what I’m trying to say is how long should we spend so as not to bore the horse…
I’m not sure if I’ve written this in the right place or if I’m allowed to write questions at all. So someone please let me know if i’m doing it wrong.
Would appreaciate any help.
Thank you!
Cheers,
Tanya
Hello Carolyn and everybody else surfing this blog!
)
I’m one of the students who did the 3 days stage with Alessandra Deernick past summer in Italy (at “la Greppia”).
Something i wanted to share since this summer:
The stage was essential to me and i think to all the others, too. (exept maybe someone who was in a sort of “competetive-criticising-comparing” frame of mind, which surprised me; why come to a stage if you already think you know everything and know everything better then the teacher? but, anyway this is not my problem, and not my point)
I had studied, read and watched (and re-watched over and over again) everything i could put my hands on related to the WHR, since the past 2 or 3 years, but seeing first hand, being able to ask questions and get explanations from someone who knows the rituals in such depth, as Alessandra is something so extremely valuable and essential.
Alessandra gave us so much input; she has been explaining standing in the arena, giving examples, showing, running around, talking and correcting us tirelessly (for hours and hours under a ruthless sun) without ever loosing her enthousiasm, her clearness or her focus! (amazing! what an energy..)
This woman gave us so much of her knowledge and energy that i was still vibrating and overflowing with new information to try out, for days after the course was finished. (i still haven’t finished trying out all that stuff
She too, explained us the subleties of the clues to be used in the 5th ritual and how to aknowledge the light (sometimes unnoticed) answeres a horse can give in order to achieve lightness in communicating and how to procede gradually to the different “levels” of responsivness of the horse. There are so many nuances in the comunication with horses and she revealed them to us in such an understandable way…Thanks Carolyn for having choosen such a valuable representative of your methods!
I’m also very grateful that she is so helpful and available also currently; while i’m trying out the many, many things i learned, i can still reach her, ask her questions and recieve her advices and feedbacks on my videos etc.
I teach children horseriding and am trying to introduce some of the concepts of the WHR. in my lessons.
Today with a 7 year old student i “stole” 15 minutes from the 1 hour classical lesson to practice and explain the first and second ritual. And both the girl and the pony enjoyed it a lot! Though i wonder wether doing them in tandem (i never left her side for security reasons) has any contraindications??
Carolyn do you have suggestions of how and what i could introduce about the WHR to my young kid-students? I would realy like to give them some of this valuable knowledge that is in your method, right from the start…
thanks,
Natalie from Italy
I love how you used the photos show this ritual. I have had so much fun with this one and its been very fulfilling me and for my horses
Dyann Johnson, Insider Circle
Thanks for this Carolyn. It really explains the subtleties of the Eye Contact Ritual.
Dyann
Hi Carolyn
I’m finally catching up with missed calls and dvds and along with this one I have so much new guidance I’m excited about using.
Since a summer of upheaval for me I’ve been spending more time with my young boy and we’re enjoying a deeper connection again. This morning brought an unexpected gift and would have been a great horse human sighting!
While I was cleaning the field Freckles quietly approached me with an earnest expression, I’d noticed he didn’t seem to know what to do with himself so I said “you look sleepy, why don’t you go have a nap”? He stood a moment, then turned and walked fifty feet, selected his exact landing spot with a little bent-leg fussing and then lay down!
I was astonished that I had caught what he’d been feeling so distinctly – as you said in one of your calls, I don’t think its about being psychic but that a person develops more sensitivity with this approach.
The others lined up next to him, standing along the fence with hind legs cocked and lower lips drooping and I couldn’t resist being part of the restful group. I lay on the ground and watched the clouds blow over and listened to the wind ratting, and after a while of hearing his breathing I got the idea Freckles would like to lay flat but have a pillow. I reached over and with a hand on his crest guided him onto his side, which happened to place his head perfectly cushioned on my lap. We were both very careful in this but there was not a moments hesitation on his part. I sat with my arm across his neck, stroking his cheek watching him slumber, eyes closed, enjoying the experience of having a pillow.
Quite typically, I had been thinking we needed to work on intimacy, with the exercise holding the bowl of feed on my lap as he has tended to resent “fussing”, but the problem has resolved itself, as often seems to happen, by magic!
Tomorrow night I plan a sleepover at his place – the second we will have shared. If he chooses to spend time with me in his shelter I’ll be delighted but I’m sure it will at least interest him to know he can go and look at his human sleeping if he chooses.
Hi Carolyn,
Checking in to say thanks as ever for this post – I was struck by the suggestion to return to the central position quicker than I had moved to the side – yes! My horse looked slightly surprised but also pleased when I did this yesterday and responded faster to the next times. I recalled your video with Lucero when you were sitting in front of him and couldn’t even get to leave the chair very far because he’d cottoned on to the idea and was keeping you very much in his attention range. These two things led to the best eye-contact experiences we’ve had to now, so thank you! I am finding a great difference when lungeing and riding too when he starts getting a bit spooky, I just say his name and cluck and his attention is back on me.
New Horse sighting – yesterday I had Miki’s halter rope looped over the stall gate and while I was fetching something he moved off and, inevitably, trod on the rope. In the past that would have led to a panic reaction and for sure a broken rope. This time he just stood there with his head sort of ‘trapped’ at wither-level, and when I approached him and said softly ‘just take a step back, move back’, he did, and was free, and calm!
These are the sort of things that happens to me every day with him to show me how deeply the WR affect our horses’ behaviour right across the board.
Best,
Susan
(IC Italy)
Great post, thank you!
Andrea Schwiegel, Italy
Carolyn,
this explination is very helpful to me. I haven´t worked so much with the Eye Contact ritual but now when i know the steps in it I feel ready to go on.
Ameri K is very almost very focused on me but I think we can take one more step now. I have just seen the videos with you and the young horse again and I see so much more details now than I have seen before, how you use the reed, the ambeling, how to leed from behind…it take times to learn and you always learn something new.
After the work we have done together I have got a horse that are such a pleasure to lead in a rope when we are out for a walk and he is easy to move away when I need more space. I just need to put up my finger and wave it a little.
One of the best thing that has happend during this time is that Ameri K now puts his head in the halter, he didn´t do that four month ago!
The best thing is the deepening of the bond and connection.
I have learnt to be much more respectful when walking in in his area and I have been much better to let him understand that he has to respect my space too.
I just wanted to share this:)
Dear Hertha,
Slow down, wait for our horse to respond. Let your horse eat a long time while standing it front of him. Walk up and say hello when your horse moves off. Let your energy become soft between your request. Change your spend from slow to fast, put some music on a enjoy the process. Your energy is always aggressive. You need to end with the intimacy exercise holding a bucket for your horse to enjoy your company while eating. Remember the goal is to make friends from your interactions and direction. Your horse really is more interested in its food than working with you because in your heart you are not connections. You are only wanting to get results and your horse is only wanting to keep his head in the bucket.
Hope this is of help and remember to put your full name.
Thank you for the feedback. All your comments are spot-on:-).
Hertha James
Thank you very much Carolyn for the clear explanation of the 5th ritual. It will certainly make it easier for me too. I realize that I probably have been slightly apologetic. Due to uncertainty I guess. It will now be even more ‘fun’!!
There is something else I would like to share with you as a (I have the feeling) human sighting which has a link to the ‘PONY video’ and in particular the first part where Robin and Pony are shown. Pony turning his head away and Robin instantly taking a step back.
This (saturday)morning I attended the release of Janosh’s new DVD. Janosh is a Dutch artist making geometrical art (www.janosh.com). The frequencies of his art go past all true or false convictions and enter our soul immediately. It activates our creative power. During this introduction a so-called activation took place while sitting in a large dark room (like a cinema). The screen displayed a beautiful geometrical design accompanied by wonderful music. The theme was RESISTANCE to help us release our resistance.
While keeping our eyes focussed on the middle of the geomatrical design Janosh lead us into a meditative state of mind. Once we had closed our eyes there was only the music.
The ‘film’ that appeared ‘behind’ my closed eyes brougth tears to my eyes. I was walking a long straight road. Behind me a large crowd of people pointing and yelling at me. Sending me away. Not accepting me. I knew that it was all about self acceptance and at that moment I did accept me. It felt really good not to need anybody else’s acceptance.
In front of me I was walking towards an equally large crowd of people calling me towards them. Making me feel wanted. Inviting me into their midst.
I entered the crowd. They let me pass. They started following me. They got really close. Then I turned my head sideways expressing my desire not to get too closed in and instantly, and that was an amazing sight, the crowd of people took a step back as in one move. It gave such a good and warm and understanding feeling. Experiencing that these were people who ‘knew’.
I at that instant felt a strong connection with my horse DBMarcello. He then ‘tells’ me:: ” That is how it works. That is how you connected with me. That is how we shall become even more connected.”
I ‘saw’ images in the future if my horse and me.
I have experienced very strongly this morning that the WHR have more impact than only strengthening and deepening the connection between us and our horse(s).
Like you say ::
“a co-creative evolution that will grow into an amazing cross species bond built on love, affection, parenting and respect
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you so much for sharing your deep understanding with us.
Once again, your post was a wonderful surprise, rich and deep beyond expectations. I must agree with Christian, as it is clear that, using your approach, becoming a better horseman is to become a better human.
Again, thank you for your generosity. In this post, there is a lot for me to reflect on.
Love,
Martin
Dear Carolyn,
I echo what the others have said. This is, indeed, a powerful post because it opens up this ritual in way I had not clearly understood before and has applicability to broader areas of life.
This post also came at the right time because an acquaintance stopped by the barn while I was doing the rituals with Annie and emailed her comments (mostly negative, although trying to be helpful) about what Annie and I are doing together. What was most disheartening to me was her attitude about the use of force, versus bonding, and trapping the horse in a small area, versus allowing them to move away. On the positive side, my husband, who is definitely not a horse person, came to the barn last night for chores and was amazed at the changes he has seen in just a few months in Annie’s and my relationship. So the bond grows……
It is so good to be able to connect with others like-minded on this journey through your blog and a big thank you once again for sharing your method and insights!
Really enjoyed your description of this ritual.
I’ll attach a little clip of my second time doing this with my mare, Boots.
She has a confident, dominant sort of peronality.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cGLKP8Oxy4
Wonderful post Carolyn. Yes yes yes! I got too strong accidently with my boy one day recently. I felt very bad and stood close to him and apologized and stroked him for some time before we continued. I appreciated so much your words.
“Error can bring your relationship to a deeper connection if you take the time to win your horse back to a deeper bond.”
Thank you for everything!
Regina
I heartily agree with what everyone is saying about this exceptionally clear and revealing post, especially Christian, who sums up very articulately the way I, too, feel about your message. I appreciate not only the detailed how-to discussion, but the elaboration on your whole approach to training (and life?).
I have a question about my mule, Col. Moseby. He is way ahead of me on this exercise, invariably keeping eyes and ears on me when I approach him and pivoting to do so, wherever I may be. But not because of anything I did to train this behavior; he is worried about being approached from behind. When I try, even from many yards away, he stops grazing and pivots to face me. Not in actual alarm, as he once did, but clearly showing that he is uncomfortable about letting me even get behind him, much less follow him from behind as I’ve been trying to do. I’ve tried it from all distances and angles of approach. The only way I can get directly (or even obliquely) behind him is to start petting him at his shoulder and walk around to his butt, right up next to him, stroking him gently. That he will stand still for, although not always the first time I try it. If I suggest he walk forward when I am standing behind him, he takes a few steps and immediately turns to face me. If I then turn and walk away, he falls in beside me in companion walking, but frequently with an unpleasant expression and attitude.
Yesterday I tried this: I petted his face and ears for a while, which he enjoys, then invited him to walk with me. He accepted with his usual indication of enjoyment. As we were walking together, I gradually moved back, cueing him with a pointed finger to continue walking, until I was able to keep the connection when I walked along next to his hip. It took a while before he got comfortable with that. Today I was planning to work my way even further back, but right next to him, until I could walk behind him, staying close enough for a comforting touch. Then, I hoped, I could start drifting back and perhaps get him comfortable enough with me behind him that later I could approach him from behind without worrying him so much.
However, as I thought about it this morning, it seemed like too much micro-management for your method. I asked myself “What would Carolyn do?” I am not confident I answered correctly, but this is what I tried:
I kept a large distance between us and just kept on walking away and around when he lifted his head from the grass and pivoted to face me, as he did a million times. However, I spend almost an hour just walking around the paddock, thinking happy thoughts unrelated to Col. Moseby or anything he was doing, almost as if I was ST, but in constant steady motion repositioning myself to approach him from behind, about 150 feet away from him. A couple of times, just for variety, I approached him from the front and said Hello, then went back to trying to approach him from behind. After a long, long time, he began to relax. The first time he let me get sort-of behind him without turning to face me, I stopped and walked away. Once he started letting me go there and stop, far away, it became much easier until finally I could walk behind him — still at a considerable distance — without his moving to face me. When I walked towards him from that position for the first time, he turned and faced me but I waved him gently away with my twig and he walked off with me following way behind, in harmony with this ritual for the very first time ever. I should have stopped there for the day, but wasn’t wise enough. I pushed too hard and lost it. However, after a bit I managed to get things smoothed out again between us. And tomorrow is another day.
Dear Candle,
Do not circle around him. Start at his head and ask him to turn in the direction you want him to go and then follow him.
Carolyn,
I especially thought Christian’s comment was awesome. “True” is very aware of the “I’m sorry” comment from us and what it means. I’m hope sometime we can show you a video with her response if it comes up. On the reverse she also has an apology response and I have sort of set up a routeen for that if something goes wrong as an approach to regaining the connection and getting back on track. She seems to appreciate having that routeen.
Thank you again for the great post.
Leanna
Carolyn,
This was a really helpful set of instructions(guidelines). This has been an area where I so really wanted to get it working right and have been overly hesitant so as to not be too strong if it were not necessary to get the relaxed but alert, light and willing response. I am searching positive and willing, not overly defensive.
Thank you so much for this post.
Leanna
Carolyn,
Checking in, and using your advice.
Toni
Dear Carolyn,
I am checking in. I liked the details of the stages of the eye contact ritual that you included.
I really liked this piece of the “why” of the fifth ritual: “…develop your horse to have a habit of keeping an eye on you, not as a horse would on a predator but like you would do with a friend at a gathering of many people…” This really clarifies the intention and feel of this ritual.
Thanks,
Holly
Dear Carolyn,I am just checking in after a long time away. Thankyou for this post! I am looking forward to start working with my beautiful horses again and this expanation of the 5th ritual really puts me in the right space.
Checking in. Great explanation of the different stages of this ritual, I didn’t know that yet.
I also really like your thoughts about being soft or strong
“Error can bring your relationship to a deeper connection if you take the time to win your horse back to a deeper bond.”
and what Christian added to it in his reply:
“It puts the positive into the mistake, not just in a general “you learn from mistakes” kind of way, but as a relation-building principal.”
It’s so reassuring to know it’s ok to make mistakes as long as your intention to deepen the connection is sincere.
best wishes!
(In a Box april-july 2010)
Thank you so much for this post Carolyn. To me it feels like the ‘missing link’ in the way you have described and explained the Eye Contact ritual to us so far. As far as I can recall this is the first time you brought up these different levels in the Eye Contact ritual. It all feels very logical and natural this way.
!
Really great post, thank you
Dear Carolyn,
This is such an important post today, thank you. During the in-a-box programme at times I think I was trying a little too hard to ‘get the end result’ and have my mare shift her hind around. She would do it, and often walk off her pile of hay to meet me. However, now with my daily practice of the rituals we are both becoming more subtle and our communication more refined and I realise the benefit of not always asking for a big movement but acknowledging an ear, eye, neck and one hind leg moving by stopping, going back to her front and saying hello. It is strengthening our bond. She is sharp minded and I am currently learning lots from her about less sometimes being more. As I get more subtle she has started initiating more polite intimacy during sharing territory such as first asking to get close whilst I sit and then have me rub her eyes and forehead whilst licking my hand and will leave with just a small finger movement. The lessons keep coming from my horse each day I revisit the rituals – this is powerful stuff! Thank you
Thank you for this great explanation. The photographs show the positioning very well. I am usually closer to my horse so will back off.
Dear Carolyn
Thanks for your clear explanation Carolyn. Send it straight to the Dutch students. Sabine, Geerteke, Shanien, Jannet and Nina. It is so important that the and everyone who works with your methode, often look at your blog.
Lots of love
Monique
Dear Monique,
Thank you for passing on this information.
Now I know why I was struggeling with this ritual. I was unsure whether only the eye following was enough and if it isn’t, how to explain to the horse that it is eye contact I want. This is much clearer. Thank you, and I can’t wait for the book to come out.
Carolyn,
Thanks! Sometimes I don’t have time at the moment to open all the posts you write.. And then the times that I do, I usually find the exact thing that I most need to hear in that moment! Some pertinent hazy area that needs clarifying for me and bringing into focus. And often, it’s not about my dealings with horses, but about my wider interactions and self knowledge.
Your final paragraph today was beautifully simply eloquent, and gives a wonderful prescription for interaction with all life. The sentence that most resonated for me was this: Just don’t over do it by being too strong as a habit, let your errors be the reason you are too strong.
I’ve been pondering over my relationship with my (VERY wilful) teenager, and with my classes of new very young English learners, and examining what happens AFTER I respond in ways that, in retrospect, I know I could have chosen better responses for.
Your message is sweet and loving and healing. And so true. There is so much to be gained by losing of our fear – both of doing the wrong thing, and of admitting it and making amends afterwards!
Thanks, Sue
checking in, great post!
Dear Carolyn,
you have never given us a more detailed and, at the same time, concentrated explanation of the Fifth Ritual. I have been practicing this ritual a lot with my mare, balancing it with Leading from behind. With a nervous, spooky, and high-ranking/dominant horse, I feel there is nothing like this combination, and to constantly balance out focus and forward push/willingness to move out.
What most resonated with me in today’s post is when you say the following: “I have actually been too strong with horses and humans to break through some kind of armor that stands in the way of developing a deeper trust and friendship. The need to make up can open the door to a growing understanding and connection.” And then you conclude: “Horses like you to admit a mistaken harshness with affection, a pause and allowing time to reconnect.” Honestly I don’t know of anyone out there in the trainer world who understands this particular psychology and intelligence in horses like you do. This is so deeply personalized and relational, and beyond any pattern-driven mechanics. There is so much room for each relationship between each “new human” and each “new horse” to develop. I think I always felt that way about horses, but not until studying with you did I get confirmed in it, and felt confident that I was on the right track. It puts the positive into the mistake, not just in a general “you learn from mistakes” kind of way, but as a relation-building principal. So many approaches preach that you have to follow a particular pattern or technique, and if you make a mistake, your horse is “ruined” to varying degrees. Here you make a mistake, and the pause and re-connect actually enhances the relationship, if you are able to really be there and be yourself with feel, as we learn to be in Sharing Territory.
Thanks so much, and my apologies for the long letter. This is a very inspiring blog today.
Christian
Dear Christian,
Your comment I will keep in my scrap book of important letters. To go deep into the meaning of my work bring me a great joy. On this subject you can write to me as long as you wise.
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Carolyn. This eye contact ritual was not clear to me until I watched you in one of the videos with Panadero(?).
My dominant expressive gelding who I worked with for the WRIC was doing the naughty head tossing thing and running and bucking off at liberty. When I introduced eye contact and then chasing him off his food that changed everything. Now I can put food down but tell him it’s my food and he has to wait. He will stand ever so patiently until I walk over and take a handful of food and feed it to him.. He willingly companion walks away from the food and does serpentines transitions etc. and eventually we walk back to the food and I reward him with a handful of yummy food. He never gets impatient and has two ears on me. He’s always asking questions of which I hope to have answers for.:-)
When I first tried out eye contact the proper way it took a lot of getting up out of my chair and walking to the left or right to get eye contact. I only had to chase him off his food once. It was so amazing how this worked. When you put your mind and energy into something you really feel the changes and connection. It really blew me away when my horse kept his eye on me no matter where I was. I felt like I should be doing something leader like. Something exciting! It’s like you have the audience now you had better perform. It really made me laugh. Sometimes I feel like I should be directing more than I am but I just enjoy the horses so much I don’t feel right about asking them to do things for me. My enjoyment is their enjoyment.
Very cool approach to horses.
Carolyn
Thanks for the insight
I really enjoyed this post Carolyn.
I look forward to working with Yowahtee to take the eye contact to the next level, and have him move his hind quarters. Usually, I can cluck and say ‘hip’ when I am with him and he will move them, but I really like the levels of this exercise as you described them. I also like how you described using strong and soft communication. Great information to keep in mind during so many interactions!
I miss the class, but Yowahtee and I are continuing to grow our bond. This week we were able to companion walk and trot in the indoor arena with a hay wagon FULL of fresh hay on it! He even stopped when I stopped while leading from behind right in front of the hay wagon. This time I hid carrots in the hay wagon so I could walk to the hay wagon and get a treat from it. It worked very well!
Thank you so much for all of the all of the opportunities you give us to grow and learn!
carolyn, what an excellent explaination!!! i relished every word and meaning. now i have an even better idea of where to go with this ritual.
and i like the idea of being maybe too soft before too strong. this way i dont have to feel bad about being too strong as long as it isnt a habit.
it is hard for me to be strong since they just make me melt with love for them, but i know i cant be a wimp.
this idea will really help me. thank you
Dear Shelley,
Thank you for your comments letting me know how this blog will help you going forward and letting me know you were in the insider circle program and your full name. All of this information keeps the connection strong.
Thanks, Carolyn—-I will work on this.
BTW, I bought Karen Murdock’s book called “Playing with Lukas”.
Enjoyed it very much, & like you, the author seems to be a very unique & sensitive person.