A Mistake that Many New Horse Owners and Trainers Make and What to do about it

DSC_7074My tip for the week:

If you are new to the game of horses, and you have a horse, make sure that your horse has other horses for company. It is cruel for a horse not to be kept with other horses. I mention this only because many people just starting out with horses would not necessarily know this. Nothing wants to be separated from their friends or from an environment that brings them well-being. Even if you only own one horse, it is good to keep him in an environment that has other horses around.

If you are new to my blog and new to horses:

What I am about to share with you might give you some food for thought and empower your approach with your horse. It might also answer some questions about what makes your horse tick. Today’s blog will get you acquainted with my method and how I approach the training of horses.

For my students that know my method:

Today’s blog will serve as an outline and a reminder of what you have learned. I hope it will also open your imagination to support you wherever you are right now in the training of your horse. The story about finding a horse in your back yard, that I will share with your shortly, I use to guide me while I am working on a new approach in the training of horses. It might do the same for you too.

BTW-Dec2012Group

A mistake that many new horse owners and trainers make and what to do about it:

A mistake that many horse owners sometimes make is that they get an untrained horse so they can learn together with their horse. It does seem that it would be the natural way to train and make a connection. Then they find that the journey doesn’t unfold as they would have hoped. Green on green doesn’t usually work and when it does, it is a gift from God. It means you have a talent or a knack that cannot be denied.

Looking at this situation, which many new horse owners face, is an opportunity for me to share some insight around horse behavior. It is usually when humans try to develop a bond with a horse with little or no experience that the horse takes on the leadership role. This happens because the human does not set rules for the horse to follow on social politeness in the beginning as the bond is forming. Instead, the human learns to put up with the conditions the horse sets for them. When this happens, they create a horse that is not easy to train that takes even more skill to fix.

A Person New to Horses:

Jazz and Carolyn bondingThe person new to horses is usually afraid of disturbing the bond or getting on the wrong side of the horse, which then causes a horse to start taking gross advantage of them. Because horses have a pecking order behavior, if you do not take on a leadership position, they will. A horse needs his character shaped to be respectful and it is beneficial to know how to do this in the right way. Many times, a person believes that the horse would naturally be willing and kind from the love and care they offer to their horse, when actually, the care they offered has the opposite effect.

My method is a good way to develop your horse to work around your leadership rather than you having to work around your horse.  This will help you in the training of horses, it will enhance the bond, connection, communication ability, and politeness, both in the horse and yourself. From the relationship you have built, you will develop a horse that is easily trained.

Using the Waterhole Rituals you train the horse while the bond is growing, just like a herd of horses would do with an individual horse. The herd shapes the horse’s attitude in how to follow the leader and how to be polite by learning how to respect personal space of other horses and to pay attention to where the lead horse is at all times. This is all part of the bonding process horses go through to be in a herd where harmony and unity exist. Following the Waterhole Rituals develops the horse to respond to you in the same manner.

Horse Training is not Rocket Science:

Horse training is an art and so is growing the bond and respect. At times, you will not know exactly what to do next but you figure it out. If you enjoy this challenge, it is a marker that you have what it takes to train a horse. If you can get comfortable with feeling off balance and clumsy, it will help you to grow in your learning process. Just like a dance. When we start out, we have two left feet, so expect it. When you can work with your two left feet, evolution will take you to the dance.

A Horse Story:Magical Horse

This story will allow your imagination to help you in the training of your horse and the importance of staying safe. Just imagine this: let’s say one morning, you look out your widow into your backyard to discover a horse in it. Now let’s say this horse is the first one to show up here on earth.Upon seeing this creature, you fall in love with it instantly. When you went out to the backyard, you found that this creature was dangerous and you had to retreat back to your house, but you were still in love with it. As the days went on, you discovered that when this horse was asleep, you could walk across the yard safely and be with it for a short time.The only thing you had working for you was your common sense and your fascination for this amazing creature.

You also found out that when he was occupied with his morning grazing, you could be with him. As time went by, he learned that you were very respectful of his space and he had stopped chasing you around as much. You have also found out that now you can move him away from you instead of the other way around and you can see that this creature is showing you that he can be trained and that his disposition is getting better.

People came to your house to see him and everyone respected you in what you knew of this creature. You became the expert in how to deal with horses. No one questioned your knowledge and you now feel you have a strong footing to continue growing your connection. If you have a horse that you know nothing about and you start Sharing Territory with the Waterhole Rituals, you will lean how to approach and train your horse much like the lady did in this story. This next story will guide you in how to evaluate your innate talent for training horses.

True Story:

I got a call for a man in France that wanted to buy my DVD. He had just purchased 5 young untrained Friesian Stallions and he had no experience with horses. He did not want to order my DVD if he could not train a horse from what the DVD had to offer him. He wanted my opinion – if I thought that from my DVD, he could train these stallions. At first, I thought he was unrealistic and possibly insane, but I did not let on and set out to find out about his natural ability to train them.I asked him some questions:

horsesI asked him if he had a cat. He said “yes.”
I asked him if his cat had good house manners. He said “yes.”
I asked him if he had a dog. He said “yes.”
I asked him if the dog was well trained. He said “yes.”
I asked him how is marriage was. He said “happy.”
I asked him about his children. He said “they were all grown up, happy and doing well in their lives.”
I asked him how he gets along with people in general. He said “well.”

His responses pointed out to me that he had an extreme leadership ability and that my DVD would most likely work for him. He ordered it and got back in touch with me to tell me that all his horses were doing well and he thanked me for my DVD. The more of these questions you can answer to the positive, the more you can work with bigger challenges. The trick is to be honest in evaluating your strengths. I can help you do this through my blog and my programs. If nothing is working out for you in your relationship with your horse and you want to turn this around, you are optimistic by nature or wanting to become optimistic, then my program will help you on your journey to train your horse and be able to shape his character to fit in harmony with you. Through the process, you will learn how to develop a working bond.I started thinking that there are people who are successful trainers and whose life is mess.

Let’s say the cat is clawing the curtains off the widows because the dog inside is trying to kill the cat, the child is depressed and unhappy because no love is coming their way and there is soon to be a divorce, but the trainer rides like the wind. This in my eyes is not a good reason to have a horse in your life; the horse is not enhancing your overall life like it could be. It is better that the training we share with our horses be a guidepost to create harmony throughout our daily lives. What we learn from our horse should cause us to focus on our intentions to create well-being for us and everyone around us. If you approach your horse in this manner, this will just naturally occur for you without having to work on it.

serenity

From this approach, you are not hiding from life through making a horse perform for you because you feel you have something missing in your own life. Looking to know how to achieve harmony with all things, wherever we go, wakes up the spirit and brings a greater meaning to life and helps the planet to have more peace in it. The empathy you pass on to others grows like the moon’s influence on the ocean, just from walking your walk and keeping your intentions from your heart.If you are new to my blog, please feel free to write to me and ask for my guidance or inspiration. I am here to help you.It is a good idea to pick the right teaching horse on your journey to becoming a trainer of horses. Aggressive horses and people who do not like to lead would not be a good combination. What needs to be present in all horse and human relationships is an inherent compatibility somewhere between them, or it is just not going to work.

I love how horses have the ability to change the character of the person to be more capable of achieving their own personal empowerment as well as to grow empathy for all living creatures. I think of horses as being a college education for life and to recognize what you can do and what you can’t do. This keeps you on the red, red road of life and helps us choose realistic dreams that are truly achievable.

My style of coaching is to inspire and guide you in finding the best part of yourself and to bring out the best side of your horse so you may dance in unity and harmony together. Horses give us the ability to follow the serenity prayer effortlessly, easily and naturally from the teaching they offer us.

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

Looking for more comments on the blog. Have a great weekend. Look out for new horse and human sightings and may the horse be with you.

Warmly,
Carolyn

Share the love!
Aline Mellema/ IC/ Angel and Vicky/ Netherlands/ ECspring2011/ ICfall2011/ BTWRCmarch2012 - 3 years ago

“My style of coaching is to inspire and guide you in finding the best part of yourself and to bring out the best side of your horse so you may dance in unity and harmony together. “

This is exactly what I feel your guidance brought me… I feel I’m dancing with my horses now using my two left feet! 😀 JOY JOY JOY!
Thank you for everything Carolyn! and thank you for this blog.

Much Love,
Aline

Ann-ChristineChurch - 3 years ago

Hi again , best payed job so far as I wrote means it was my best job, not that I was payed the best.
Anki Church

Ann-ChristineChurch - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn I loved watching the film you posted with your mom,in fact I watched it twice . I used to work in a small home for people with Alzheimer’s ,it was 7 residents to 3 staff. It was the best paid job I have had so far.
We used to eat with the residents at meal time , to show how to use the knife and fork.
I know what you are doing for your mom is helping her so much.
All my best to you and your mom.
Anki church

Tammy - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn I just want to let you know that I can’t see whether you replied to my post early on in this segment of your blog – for some reason I’ve not been able to see my post and all the responses, Im able to see some responses, not all. I just want to make sure you know I’m not being rude by not replying if there was a reply!

kindest regards
always
Tammy

Christy Hall - 3 years ago

Carolyn,
I have only owned three horses so far in my life and I can definitely relate to parts of this blog about owning a new horse and not really knowing what to do. My first horse was older and sweet and wouldn’t give me trouble, but my second horse was a 2 year-old filly that was dominant and smart. She started off respectful and willing, but as we got to figure each other out she realized I had no clue what I was doing and that I was no leader of hers. All she had to do was throw a tantrum when it was time to work and I would let her go. I was young, and unwilling to beat her to get her to behave like people said I should do. So she got away with a lot and continued to behave worse. If only I had know the WHR then I think she would have made an excellent horse. After having her for 4 years I sold her at the urging of my parents. I wish I had known that just sharing territory or leading from behind could have fixed so much.
On a similar note, now that I do know so much more about horses and how to work with them, I see young girls at my boarding stable making the same mistakes that I did with my previous horse. I don’t want to come off as all-knowing or offend anyone but they do things that are dangerous and I was just wondering how you would approach that? Would you say anything to them or let them figure it out themselves. I try to just be a good example but it is hard to watch young girls abuse their horses simply out of ignorance. I would love to read your thoughts.
Thank you,
Christy Hall

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Christy,
    Public barns can be quite a mixture of people, I have been in many. What I do is stay focused on my horse and stay clear of the drama. You might suggest that you could help the people that are having trouble. My job is to connect with like minded people and help the people who reach out. You being a good example I think this the way to go. Do you have any really good horseman in your barn? If you do keep your focus on them to grow your own skills. After that you really can not afford the interruption to your own growth and connection with your horse.
    Staying in the zone of connection no matter what is going around you is a important charter building tool that needs your full attention and a valuable lesson to empower your personal growth.
    Warmly,
    Carolyn

      Christy Hall - 3 years ago

      Thank you Carolyn!
      The best horsewoman at my barn is MaryGaye LeBoeuf and we learn together and support each other with our journeys. She keeps me out of most drama and I will continue to do that. Something that I have been working on and need to continue working on is the “staying in the zone”. I love how you put that and it is a major issue for me and my horse, Nemo, as you may recall from our lesson with you in October. Some days are better than others but Nemo and I inspire each other to work at it and when we are both focused and having fun it is magical.
      Thanks again!
      Christy Hall

kristin - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn,

It seems my greatest struggle with practicing your methods is life’s continual interruptions! If you would ever care to blog on what is reasonable to do with your horses between Thanksgiving and the rest of winter say through March it would be very helpful!
I will share with you what I have been doing to try to keep the connection. During the winter the pasture is lean so the horses only get 3-4 hours of turn out. They put themselves up around 3:30. I take that opportunity to give them each a tub of senior pellets and we have a mini activity. Depending on the weather and the mood I share territory with one horse while he/she eats for 20-25 min. or until tub is empty. The next day I might ask for waiting before eating. The day after that I might ask for “head up” & “head down” in between mouthfuls.
Always in the evening at feeding time both horses are invited into their stall. If they are standing too close to the door i ask for a step back and they both are willing to move back.
I check on them one more time before bed and both horses are asked to wait until I invite them out of their stall and they do. Each horse instead of getting a treat gets one last bit of grain and one gets a small bit of hay. My food aggressive horse has to give me at least 3 seconds of calm waiting. On a good night he can give me 7-9 seconds. One time I made him wait several minutes and he would bob his head up and down, sigh and make a circle, and exhibit impatience. Finally I got 3 good seconds. My mare is very good at waiting without attitude so sometimes i don’t ask her for much. I find that interacting with them in small pockets of time through out the day in winter helps keep the connection active .I t also works with my schedule as an artist. whenever I need a break i check on my horses.
I also clean stalls and pens in the late mornings and sometimes my mare will come and hang out with me. One time I opened up to her and she was very communicative. She wanted to give me attention and allowed me to pet her & groom her which she usually doesn’t like if it’s my idea. Niki would walk over to me and stand. I would begin to brush her tail. she would walk away. I pretended to look around for something instead of following her. She noticed I didn’t come after her so she turned around and came back. We did this round robin for about 45 minutes with her always coming back to stand next to me and one time she even backed up a few steps so she could be in the right position for me to brush her tail.
Then she went over to her blanket and picked it up with her teeth and shook it back & forth and dropped it. she does not like to be blanketed at night. So after I saw how smart she was to demonstrate to me that she knew that was her nasty ol’ blanket i laughed and said OK you win. No more Blanket at night!
Both horses companion walk with me here and there but it when doesn’t interest them they are very clear about leaving .
Also the mare needed a lot of leading from behind as she has always been balky to move forward. I take every opportunity to move her around in small spaces like her stall and pen during the cold & windy days.
I feel like I need a little direction with a loosely structured program. something to work into as days become warmer. Anyway I see small adjustments along the way. Maybe this is enough???
You are right about not wanting anything from your horse. Those moments are when the doors open from them to you. I am learning to trust this more and more.

Stay warm!

Kristin

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Kristin,
    Go back in my blog on the Uberstrichen Exercises this is what you can do with your horse during the winter months and it is enough with enough direction. I also bet that if you would get more lost in Sharing Territory something will inspire you to come up with more ideas than you have already done. You could do some breathing exercises with your horse too. You could heat up a blanket that is warm for you and your horse and share it just take it slowly while she is eating. You could teach your horse to stand still and hold one foot at a time up and then put it down when you ask him or her to. You can work on Eye Contact Exercise. Look at working on developing more of you imagination. Write a journey that you think your horse might write and share it with me.
    When I could not do anything with my horses I could just while away the hours, try to experience this zone. It will help to experience yet another side of life. The “do” is better when you exercise wanting nothing and that becomes enough. When you get back to the “do” you will find that you have changed in a way that is more empowering.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

      kristin - 3 years ago

      Thank you Carolyn. Sometimes the way I receive information is so literal.
      I appreciate your constant efforts to teach the “art” of connecting & not connecting-doing & not doing-choosing & not choosing.
      I can see how my activities were becoming auto pilot for both of us.
      It takes more time for me to feel into what needs to happen which sharing territory provides.
      I tend to get caught up in “I’m not doing enough” and ” I’m supposed to know what I want before I engage with the the horse”.
      Your suggestions are very helpful. I’m going to try and “play around” with some ideas with the option for changes to happen.
      And yes I have your US exercises.

      Kristin

        Carolyn Resnick
        Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

        Dear Kristin,
        Thank you for getting back to let me know that you read my comment. There are times you want to know what you are going to do but still you need to check in with your horse to see if your plan is the right subject for your horse. I always have a plan and sometimes it is to do nothing and I wind up doing a lot of training. I let the currents guide me.
        The Uberstreichens can be a full time job for the winter.
        They will advance your horse’s training and make a “horseman” out of you.

        Warmly,
        Carolyn

linda salinas - 3 years ago

Hi Carolyn,

I tried to watch the video you posted on GoFundme but it said it was private and I couldn’t view it. I think the setting on Youtube is private. Can you change to unlisted or public so we can see how well your mom is doing.

So glad to hear she is doing better.

I hope you are getting the rest you need.

Miss you,

Linda

priv_ljtindal - 3 years ago

Hi Carolyn,

One thing I really enjoyed about my trip to California was the chance to see so many birds of prey. Around here we have quite a number of smaller birds that eat meat (kookaburras and magpies for example) but I rarely see the larger birds. Very occasionally a Wedge Tailed Eagle pair glide around for a short while and all the other birds disappear and it becomes incredibly quiet very suddenly but the eagles visit only very occasionally. There were so many larger birds of prey around Escondido it was wonderful to see and that huge number of crows coming over each afternoon was incredible.

I have a question about my homework with Tannis.

The extra walking time before we start the UEs is making a huge difference with her. She is really relaxing now during that walking time vs being relaxed towards the very end of the session.

When we practice slowing down the walk after the first few minutes her head is dropping almost to the ground and staying there for large parts of the circle as we walk. I am not asking her to do this, it is just what happens. She is really stretching over her topline and because it has been so rare to see her stretch in this way I am have been letting her continue to do this in the time before we start the Uberstreichens.

Because she is doing so much stretching all of a sudden I did just UE # 1 the first day and have been adding one UE per day since the call on Sunday. Today was UE # 3 being included back in again. By the time we got that point Tannis was going around most of the circle with her head down quite low at her medium speed walk. With UE # 2 her head is lifting up as she goes into the halt so that is not really an issue – I can ask for her to put her head down again. WIth UE # 3 often her head is right down anyway so what I have been doing is asking her to lift her head and walk a few strides with her head held higher before asking her to lower it again.

Should I be asking her not to lower her head quite so much while we are walking around ? Or just continue as we are doing for now ?

Leanne

KateBremer - 3 years ago

Excellent post, Carolyn and I love the dog and beautiful child youtube!!
This will be a good blog post to share with folks that may not know about you yet! I am so excited to bring my horse to work with Ruella and Stina next month! Thanks for everything…

priv_ljtindal - 3 years ago

Hi Carolyn,

I have been filming most of our sessions this month. Yesterday morning when I checked the camera just before setting it up and getting the horses I found the battery was almost fully discharged. It was not going to last long enough to get anything too meaningful with the horses on film.

As I was turning around to put the camera back in the stables until I was finished with the horses I noticed that some visitors who have been absent while it was so hot had returned with the slightly less hot weather. I filmed them for a few minutes instead. By the time I was finished filming I had two horses behind me wanting to know what it was I found so interesting, LOL.

They are very beautiful little parrots. I thought you might enjoy them too

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN3zGUvaOlY

Leanne

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Leanne,
    Birds are so amazing. So much energy, ,and celebration for being alive.
    Maybe that is the reason they pop out in some may colors. They are little pieces of art. I hope more colorful birds come to California. Sometimes I see parrots and what a treat. I feed our bird here and my mother and I watch then together.
    Thank you for sending your youtube.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

    linda salinas - 3 years ago

    Hi Leanne,

    I loved the the video of the birds. Thanks for sharing!

    Linda

Geerteke Kroes IC 2011 BWHRC 2011 - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn, were you able to watch the YouTube I entered on your previous blog showing Marcello’s Feeding Time Plus _ apparently something didn’t work at first and I had to change the settings – looking forward to hearing from you – warmly, Geerteke

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Geerteke,
    I did and enjoyed it very much. Your horse is so beautiful! Nice focus, gas peddle, and understanding. I still want to see the video of your horses behavior at the barn.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

Ruella Yates - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn,
Your post was especially helpful to me this week. Thank you for posting my clinic information! Stina Herberg, Susan Smith and I will joyfully represent you March 9-10, teaching The Waterhole Rituals at Spirit Horse Ranch. :)
Sending strength, love and light from the Great Plains,
Ruella Yates

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    You are welcome and I know you will have an amazing clinic!!

      MaryGayeLeBoeuf - 3 years ago

      I am very excited about the Clinic! All of Ruella’s clinics are amazing, and add Susan and Stina, and it will be off the charts!

Amanda - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn,

How should I contact you about info on the free seat I won? (Post #11, Amanda and Trinket)
I’d prefer the insider seat (Going all the way with it!) but will be just as happy with the extended seat as well!

Also if you need me to prove I’m on disability (ontario, canada disability) I can, just need to know how to contact you?

Contact me please, whenever you have time!
Amanda

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Amanda,
    You can contact me by going to the top of the page where it says contact me.
    You are in my course no charge if qualify for the class regarding the connection you have with your horse. You will need to pay the fees for registrations. Write to the office and tell them what I told you and they will take care of you.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

maggie - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn,
In response to your question.. if he were the horse I needed, YES. He would stay. Without hesitation and for many reasons. The other part of that equation is that I have to be what HE needs as well. I have no illusions on that point. We do walk together, we have camped together, we hang out together at times.. he’ll push barrels back and forth with me.. I am trying to teach him to dance with me.. :) I have asked myself these two questions today.. “Am I afraid of getting hurt BECAUSE I doubt myself” or ” Can I not do it, because I AM afraid of getting hurt”.. well the answer is, if I truly were afraid of getting hurt, then I wouldn’t be riding and challenging myself with new and different horses and things, like team penning and sorting and trail challenges and such. And not only challenging myself, SUCCEEDING IN THEM. SO, stands to reason that the answer lies within my self belief..

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Maggie,
    What do you think your horses needs and why? I do not think you are afraid at all. I think you are smart to make the choices you have.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

      maggie - 3 years ago

      :) Wow. Well. The reason I took my children out of school was because the way the system is set up, education focuses on the weakness instead of building on the strengths. Seems like I need to do that for my grey boy, my Lachlin. I have been so focused on fixin the “broke” parts of him, his trust and his anxieties. On the ground is 100%, on his back I have about 50%-75% I would say as long as conditions are favorable.. I need to build HIS sense of self along with my own..

        maggie - 3 years ago

        I just sat down there with him while filling waters and visualized positive scenarios and if he could have put his forehead to mine he would have.. His mini walked away and he stayed with me. And she is a huge comfort for him.

          Carolyn Resnick
          Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

          Dear Maggie,
          I do not think your horse is unhappy with his life if he can do as he wishes and you ride him where he would like to be ridden and get off when he gets upset. You have no fears that you should not listen to. You have common sense. Don’t get yourself hurt to over come your fears and keep your horse if you can afford to.

          Warmly,
          Carolyn

susanne meehan - 3 years ago

Susan (EC spring 2011), Ireland

Dear Carolyn

I am glad to hear you can spend some time with your mother.I am very sorry that I am not able to help you financially at the moment. My own situation is not great, as my husband was made redundant last year and it is hard to make ends meet. But so many people are in the same boat all over the world.Lately I had to prepare myself for the thought of having to re-home some of my animals, but the ISPCA is overloaded with animals and daily there are more news about horses having to be rescued from the most appalling conditions…so I will try my hardest to keep my animals with me.
I just want to let you know how much I understand what you are going through with your mother. We are caring for my father in law for the last 3 years now. He was a postman in rural Ireland.Every day had to walk 20 miles to deliver the post to people living in the remotest parts of the “Blue Stack Mountains” in Donegal. We recorded many of his stories of the “old days”, as they are truly amazing and shouldn’t be forgotten!!! Sadly now his mind is getting more and more clouded and often he doesn’t know any of us any more.Since I moved to Ireland 22 years ago, he lived in his little cottage right beside our house. Sadly, he fell two years ago and broke his hip. And even though he made a great recovery, it made him very weak.
As my own parents live in Germany, I often feel a little guilty not being able to spend more time with them…but we all really appreciate the time we have together.

Finally I would like to ask you for some advise.
I have my 4 year old TB mare now for two years. Unfortunately I don’t know much about her earlier life, but when she came into my care her head collar had left deep tracks on her. It probably had never been taken off her and was extremely tight. I couldn’t wait to get it off her!!!
She is now very trusting and I feel the bond growing. The thing I am having trouble with is that she really doesn’t like to be touched anywhere below her head. At the beginning this didn’t worry me…I thought that with ST, respecting her space and plenty of TLC this would just disappear, but it didn’t. She has been checked by the vet and everything seems OK.
Carolyn, I would greatly appreciate your thoughts.

Have a lovely weekend

warmly
Susan

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Susan,
    Most times a horse like this is going to take a person that has had years of experience in these kind of horses. A normal trainer does not have this skill. What experience do you have? What do you thing your skill level this with horses in general? What have you gotten her to do for you so far?
    Have you ever taken my online course? In that course we have a horse like this and we got to touch her all over and even do so Liberty Dancing but she has stayed very frighten as her first response to all things. What are you hoping to achieve?
    What about taking the Marchador call? This way I could see a video and let you know if I can help you or not. Or maybe in you respond here on my blog you can achieve a better trust factor. How much time do you have each day to put into this challenge? I need these questions so I can guide you in your next step. Were does you talents line in your leadership in life in general? There questions may seem strange but they give me the understanding in what I can ask you to do from your experiences, abilities, and nature.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

      susanne meehan - 3 years ago

      Dear Carolyn
      Thank you for your reply.
      I will try and answer you questions as good as I can
      I have been around horses as a child and always felt a great connection. Even as a child I always wanted a partnership with a horse and it never felt right to force them into anything. I loved the stories of people that had this special bond with their horse, like the black stallion, or some stories about Indians who ride their horses bareback and bit-less.
      Then I went to study and work, got married and had a family…and only about ten years ago horses came back into my life.
      I took on a rescue pony and a foal who’s mother died when he was 5 weeks old. I trained them both and have a beautiful bond with them. The foal is now 10 years old. I can ride him bit-less and bareback, but I don’t have that much interest in riding any more. the little pony had a terrible start in life and when I got her as a two year old, she had no trust in any humans. She now know what I am thinking and my children were able to ride her, after we found the way to her heart.
      When I read your book “Naked liberty” it brought back so many memories about how I used to be around horses when I was a child and I felt that I finally had found a “soul-mate”… somebody that felt what I used to feel. I love your thinking and approach. I have been in the extended circle in 2011, but couldn’t give it as much time then, as my father in law was very sick at that time.
      I am hoping very much do do a course with you in person, maybe even this year. I will think about the call. I know it would help me greatly, but I am trying to save money for a flight to America to meet you personally.
      I see my horses every day. They are stabled at night. But often I have only the time to do the basics with them.
      “Hailey”, this is the mare I want your help with, is a very spirited mare. She looks for my attention a lot. She comes to me once she sees me, even out in the open field. She companion walks, I can groom her at liberty, lifting her feet is getting a lot easier, and I can put on or take off a rug… all at liberty. I feel that she looks for my leadership and I sometimes feel that she is challenging it. But even though she tolerates my touch, I can see that she just doesn’t like it.
      Carolyn, I hope this wasn’t too long for you and you can make sense of it.
      Thank you so much for all your comments and the time you have for all of us.
      warmly,
      Susan

        susanne meehan - 3 years ago

        ps.

        when I said “I don’t like riding him now very much”, it was meant more in a way that I just enjoy being with them and riding is not that important.
        Thanks
        Susan

Geerteke Kroes IC 2011 BWHRC 2011 - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn, thank you for this very informative and inspiring blog – your way of telling is as always uplifting – and it it is good to hear and read that your mom is out of bed (?) spending time with you doing nothing being together doing something………

Blessings,
Geerteke

CarolynBourchier - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn
Your blog made me feel more relaxed about your situation. I am so hapy your mother is at home with you. My love and warm wished to you both from a very snowy England xxx
Carolyn B xx

Elodie Belz (ICC spring 2011) - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn,

Thanks so much for this blog, I really enjoyed it. Especially when you write:

“It is better that the training we share with our horses be a guidepost to create harmony throughout our daily lives. What we learn from our horse should cause us to focus on our intentions to create well-being for us and everyone around us.”

This is what has been going on for me lately. Through Sharing Territory, horses have taught me the importance of creating some space and take some time for myself to just be. Lately I was pushing myself to the point of almost getting sick, and I realized that I needed to slow down and to create space and time in my life to just be as well. So this is what I am currently doing. I have cleared a few things up, taken some decisions, and created space and time for myself. The good thing that came as a consequence is that now I also have the time and the peace of mind to work with horses on a regular basis again. I have started working with a horse named Samurai (but I call him Sami) last Sunday, and we have shared territory. It was icecold: I was trying to write in the journal you offered me with my nice purple Carolyn Resnick pen, but it was so cold that the pen was not working! But I was so happy to be able to sit in peace with a horse again that I sat there for 40 minutes without feeling the cold. I am so curious about Sami. He does not resemble any horse I have been working with until now, and I am already fascinated by him. I will see him again on Sunday, and I can’t wait for it!

I made a video of our first session. It is a bit long, so I don’t know if you will have the time to watch it. Nevertheless, I would like to share it with you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMhYFmd6Wu8

I want to take it slow with Sami. He is a horse who does not cope with pressure very well, and he got pressured a lot by his previous owner when he was younger. So just as I need to be allowed to slow down, he needs to be allowed to go slowly as well, and I want him to be relaxed with me. I am looking forward to all the new horse and human sightings we will have as we go along together!

I would be interested in one of the free spots that you offer in your programm, if your offer of me being your online apprentice still holds. In which programm would I then be included? Should I contact Teddy about that?

I wish you a very nice week-end, and hope you will keep catching up on your sleep. My thoughts are with you and Paulina.

Warmly,
Elodie

    Geerteke Kroes IC 2011 BWHRC 2011 - 3 years ago

    Lovely YouTube Elodie – thanks for sharing

    Cheers, Geerteke

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Elodie,
    Take the Extended Spring course or the Insider circle. You choose based on the time you want to give to it.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

    Carol Caddes, California - 3 years ago

    Hi Elodie,

    It was a treat to watch your video. Loved the ST and how Sami entertained himself with the whip. The cat was delightful–the connection was so sweet.
    Looks like you will be having fun with them.

    Warmly,
    Carol

Elke OSTERBURG - 3 years ago

Hallo Carolyn, thank you for your invitation to everyone to share and your wish to bring a new consciousness to the world. I would like to ask you some support for my project ( “Il viaggio del unicorno”) – “The unicorns adventure”. I am setting my blog these days and soon will be able to communicate with others in this way. My goal is – and that comes from my hard – to help to bring more awareness into people. Since 15 years i am in that journey and i think now it is time to start to share. The awareness and sense work comes from the Feldenkrais method (Which i am a certif. teacher)
My passion is in horses and now after 3 years of practicing YOUR method i can not go somewhere else anymore. I fully believe that what you know and teach is the essence of horse (uman) behavior. Till now a have been with Alessandra Deernick twice and with Stina 3 weeks and with Natalie van Andel we work with my horses 3 times a week. It is incredible what comes out of it and i would like to send you some videos – foots.
My wish is to continue in my seminars with the elements of your method because i am not able to do different. ( “The essence of riding – the dynamic seat” – riding with Feldenkrais)
What can i do to be right? I am not a C. Resnick trainer but i work with your method naturally and i like to tell my people during our lessons that what we do on the ground is based on your method. So i would like to become an official trainer of C.R.M. but in the mean time i want to be correct with you.
Can you please help me and tell me how and what can i do.
Wow can i become a C. Resnick trainer?
In wich way can i set my blog, talking about my project and riding – lessons including your method?
Thank you for your kind attention
Elke Osterburg
PS. I am not a doctor but for your mother could help allot to do a DEMORA electromagnetic – resonance – test to find out her food intolerances. Health returns immediately if we don’t eat things our body can not coach with.
Best wishes to you and your mum!

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    We need to talk to one another on the phone. Get in touch with my office and have them set up an appointment. This is not a blog topic.

      Elke OSTERBURG - 3 years ago

      OK i am sorry, i never used computer in my live so i am quiet an ignorant about what, where, how

        Carolyn Resnick
        Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

        Dear Elke,
        At the top of this page is a tab that says Info and contact me. You can leave a message there and someone will get back to you.

        Warmly,
        Carolyn

Janet Fisher - 3 years ago

Hi Carolyn –

I want to thank you for your wonderful tips you so generously share with all of us who are willing to learn. I have always loved horses so much and any way to improve the bond with my guys gives me such joy.

Like you, I care for my Mom and have been her full and complete POA for 12 years. I can identify with many of the situations you are experiencing today. My Mom is a high fall risk, is going to be 98 in March and has dementia. I moved her into my home over a year ago. I do not have any family in this part of the country so all of her care falls upon my shoulders. I was only able to move her home since I work from home but quickly learned having her here requires a lot more of my time than I had ever imagined and my work has to take a back seat most of the time which has hurt the old pocket book. I think you and I might be about the same age based upon your book – such as 2 longs and 1 short was the ring for our telephone line shared by our close neighbors. I am not able to spend as much time with my beautiful horses as I did before since my horses do not live with me. But, every day I go to visit them, even if only to touch and smell them for a few minutes. They keep me gounded. I am fortunate to still be able to ride and love to ride bareback. My balance is not as good as it used to be and I have had a couple of spills (all my fault) in the last few years but have been blessed to walk away each time with lessons learned.

Please know you are not alone. My Mother’s doctor tells me we are called the Sandwich Generation. The way I look at it is if my Mom is going to be 98 and was active and healthy up until she had a stroke wien she was 87, then I probably have a good 20+ years left to fullfill my dreams of being the best I can be. I still have a lot of work to do. I had to let you know you are so greatly appreciated. I realize the time it takes to write your tips and newletters is precious time and you do something with that time to help others be better and more informed. Hugs to you, Carolyn. You are amazing.

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Janet,
    They call this part of the journey with our parents the long good bye.
    I never was prepared for this and here I am in the middle of it pulling out all the formulas of making the smile happen in each moment for the both of us.
    My mother is doing a great job. I am so luck and appreciative. I am here doing eight hour shifts with sleep at night and feeling truly blessed from the support I have from my friends,fans and students. I send to you love and light and anything that would brighten your day.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

Dee Barman, EC, Koda, ST - 3 years ago

Carolyn, I do hope you and your mother continue to create great memories together that will warm your heart and spirit forever. I am sorry I have not been able to offer any assistance to you at this time, but finances are an issue again for me.

I am happy to see you are offering some free opportunities to your students, if you have another space for a returnning extended circle student let me know what you need to evaluate the need and if your spaces are full for 2013, please put me on your waiting list.

Thank you,
Dee

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Dee,
    You are a professional trainer and I want to help those that can not get to a trainer because of fund problems. You have yourself to rely on. You have expressed that my work is already working for you and you find it easy to apply.
    Lets wait on this and I will take others first.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

Molly Jordan - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn,

I think I’ve become more kind, more flexible, more understanding and slower since I’ve been your student…and I think everyone in my life is better off for it – including me!

Here’s what I mean: Not long ago we rescued a dog, Willard. When he came to us we didn’t know much about his history but it must have been a doozie. He’s terrified of wind and rain. He cowers and has to push up against you, squeeze into you. If you move, he moves. It can get really annoying! At night he’s needed to sleep in our bed, but we don’t allow that. All the dogs (now there are 4 in our house!) sleep in their own beds on the floor but Willard kept jumping up and insisting. We had trainers, we had rules, we had thunder shirts, we tried everything…..except bending ourselves and trying some understanding. It occurred to me – thanks to the WHR and especially ST – to consider it from his point of view. He was terrified and no rule was going to change that. So not long ago my husband and I decided to let him sleep in the bed. He’s so afraid he has to get under the covers….which he does nearly every night. But lately he’s begun to crawl out and sleep on top of the blanket…and sometimes he even jumps down and sleeps on his own bed for awhile. He’s calming down, he’s growing into himself and he’s beginning to trust that he’s home, that we see who he is and that’s fine with us.

It’s funny because if I think about it, since I’ve met you, I’m calming down, I’m growing into myself and I’m beginning to trust what is, not what I think it should be.

I’m looking forward to our upcoming phone call. Until then, may more and more love find its way to you and to your beautiful mother.

Molly

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Molly,
    It is the first step to giving loving attention to the animals and people we love. Loving attention is really hard for people to understand the benefits it offers.
    The next step is allowance and acceptance to whatever we are facing.
    Thank you for sharing your story,

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

    Carol Caddes, California - 3 years ago

    Hi Molly,

    Loved hearing about Willard. Could relate to trusting what is…a spiritual exercise for me, a learning from Carolyn and working with horses…with broad application in the rest of my life.

    Thanks for sharing,
    Carol

Stephanie Cowles - 3 years ago

Carolyn,

Your words and advice always come at the right time, and they give me hope, fill me with optimism, and I feel the tightness around my heart release and be replaced with a warm glow. Thank you for your wisdom, and for the video which brings many tears, and a better perspective.

I send you love and wishes for all good things to you and your mother.

Love,

Stephanie
xo

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Stephanie,
    the tightness around my heart also released reading your comment. I want again to thank you for your support as well. What I am learning to do right now is to release out of habit rather that need. This way I feel better about everything.

    Much love,
    Carolyn

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

Laurinda Reinhart - 3 years ago

Hi Carolyn, I’m so glad you and your mom are able to spend so much time together. what a blessing! I also love that the time you spend with you mom somehow in a wonderful twist of the universe is allowing you to share your journey with your mom and more of your wonderful self with your online family of students.

You asked to share what we are doing. I am always struggling with being overwhelmed with all I have on my plate. I don’t always know where to start, especially when I am trying to learn something new like the whr, so I end up procrastinating and becoming paralized with indecision. Been taking baby steps and trying to incorportate little bits of the things I’ve been learning from you in my daily routine with my 7 horses as a first step. that change has helped me immensely and I’m ready to take another step forward, guided by the horses and your teachings. don’t know if this is making any sense.

I have an 18yr old arab mare, Elly, that I took on as a ‘free lease’ and a favor a few years ago. She wasn’t the most affectionate mare and had some bad habits, but she’s really blossomed and come into her own. in august she fractured the ball of her LF radius where it goes into the knee. she’s been on stall rest for several months and the leg has healed, though she will probably never be sound enough to ride nor carry any more foals. her colt zeus was weaned gradually the first month of her confinement, a little sooner than normal, but she couldn’t heal and nurse him too…even just 2x day. weaning is so much easier when they have a herd to look after them and can still check in with mom over the stall door. :)

Elly is now healed and on limited turnout alone in the pasture or with zeus and old levi in the paddock. she needs regular trims to keep her ever adjusting hooves in balance and to keep the bones in her crooked leg properly lined up so she can stay semi sound. luckily I have a wonderful farriar/mentor who worked with Elly and taught me how to care for her hooves.

she is loving life now that she can get out and graze a bit each day if the ground isn’t too muddy. sometimes she likes to play games with me and trot away if I come to call her in. now before I turn her out I ask that she come in when I call her and she has honored that request. yesterday she came to the barn when I arrived. I told her that I still needed to clean her stall and put out her food. she turned and walked away to resume grazing. wasn’t sure if she’d try and head off, but as soon as I was done with my tasks she was peaking her head in the barn door. I waved my hand towards her stall and told her to go on in and eat, and she did!

She is also feeling well enough to come into season and go tease the stallion within mins of being turned out, so she is confined for a few days. I clapped my hands at her and told her ‘no more babies, go on’ and pointed to the barn. my crippled mare cantered joyfully past me kicking up her heels and looking very pleased with herself. little hussy! ‘no more babies Tahintate!’, he smiled and trotted away from the gate. wonder if the vet can give her a safe shot to stop her from cycling? she loves to be pregnant.

well thats my excitement. hope you, your mom, apollo and all the horses have a great weekend!

Laurinda

Tammy - 3 years ago

Dear Caroline,

Your offer is one I have been dreaming of for the past few years. If there is still a space I would love to take up the offer. If the timing is not aligned then perhaps I can put my hand up for a future spot should there ever be one. I am heading over to South Africa for a couple of months, to help my Mother pack up her house and also to complete my orthopedic hoof care apprenticeship days – that are still outstanding due to lack of funds from 2008.

Something I want you to know is that when I read your post calling for help with your Mom, every fiber of my being and soul wanted to be able to get on a plane and head straight out to be the one to help care for you and her. The feeling was so strong that I set up a crystal grid with the intention of constantly flowing love and healing energy to you both and those around you. I am touched very deeply through my core to read of the responses you have received, it makes me happy.

Today something utterly out of the norm happen between me and my mare Annie. Annie was a St James capture, who went to a trainer and constantly became lame, she had very nasty truck and trailer experiences and when I found her 5 years on she was just a pitiful starving mess. It was my husband who insisted that we could not just walk away from her. And there was something about her that just lit joy within me looking at her. Accepting her past and her need to re-think us humans I have chosen kindness and rules that she was comfortable around. Today she approached me to halter in prep for their liberty walk to the river where we share space and they graze, hoof bath or explore as they wish, while I photograph them. When I went to put the halter on she brushed past me and declined the halter. Odd and rude, but she’s done that before and usually I ignore it approach Lilly and head off with her instead. Lilly doesn’t have the same issues as Annie. Usually Annie will follow along until she is ready to ask for her halter. Today she made a fuss at the first gate. I waited for her to settle and then approached her and she put her nose in the halter I held out to her. Normally if I touch her shoulder and blink at her and maybe sort of nod my head she will walk next to me. Today she exploded and bucked as she passed me. She struck out a kick which landed very lightly on my thigh. Her whole energy changed at the contact and she wheeled around a few meters away, dropped her head, licked and walked a couple steps towards me. I was confused by her behaviour, but my heart felt like she’d broken it. Looking back over the incident I could not see or feel anything that I was projecting that would trigger this kick. I have had Annie since July 2009 and she has not ever deliberately hurt me yet she did today.

Somehow just typing this out has felt really therapeutic for me, thank you for the space to do it.

kind regards
always
Tammy

Tamara Blits - 3 years ago

I live alone in my animals world. I understand animals , and I am more giving to them, for what I feel in them. I hate to watch people who abuse horses . They can’t see what their horse feels. I love you Carolyn.

Tamara Blits - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn” I love the serenity prayer, it’s so perfect with horses. I am so different in the way I train my horse. I don’t understand others ways. My horse was so crazy, when I got him. I was 63yrs old. I know my horse has come along way; with your help. He used to spook at everything; but now he listens to my every word. He came from the wild, and is about 13 yrs. old I loved him for his friendliness. He was a green horse, that spooked every chance he got. I can lower his head, and pet his ears now. I enjoy everything he is to me. I don’t know what he’s been through, but I know he’s been in a bad fight or had the tip of his ear torn of by something. He also has big scars, on his forehead, and chest. He is like a leader. I can finally touch an rub his ears. The first thing you taught me , was to lower his head. that was the beginning of his trust. I have learned a lot about horses. I love your gentle ways, My Dakota always looks to me for answers. God Bless you and your mama. I know how it feels to lose mama. she is always in my heart. My special angel. My mama was the best.

Amanda - 3 years ago

Hello,

I’ve been following your blog for a long time, and have tried to (tried being the operative word :( ) save for an extended circle seat….However I’m on disability (and can prove it if needed) and I’m very interested in your free offer.
If you could email me at: thehomemadehorse@gmail
That’d be fantastic. Even if I’m not accepted, I don’t tend to get a response when I email you normally. :(

I can tell you anything you need to know, including how much I’ve already done with my beautiful yearling (and best friend) Trinket.

I love your blog, and read every post, please keep posting! :)

Thanks,
Amanda

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Amanda,
    Guess what you have the first spot! Which class do you want to be in?

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

      Amanda - 3 years ago

      Dear Carolyn,

      Really? Thank you sooo much! I’m so amazed right now, this is what I woke up too, is this wonderful news!

      Still can’t really believe it! I’d love to be in either the extended or insider circle classes for March, you can choose which one really, I’d be super happy with either!

      Thank you, I wish I could hug you over the internet and send one to your mother as well, as I know how special that relationship is.
      Thanks again (Won’t stop saying it!)

      Keep up all of your wonderful work!
      Amanda

UlrikeKraft - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn,

I’m feeling the same as Stephanie!

I have saved up for a seat in the extended circle for a long time and have paid already.

Lots of love to you and Pauline, all you beautiful people out there and all your animals,

Ulrike

horsefever - 3 years ago

Hello Carolyn, I have been absent for some time from this blog but retiring in May, I’ll have so much more time to spend with my horse, Magik, and his new friend, practicing the WHR and the U.E. and everything you teach us on this blog.

I took both your Extended class and “In the Box” class and have learnt so much. I will come and visit you in December or beginning of 2014 (I live in Quebec, Canada) since my sister lives in La Jolla.

Just a note to tell you what happened to me last night with Dreamer, a TB who has been with us since last April. He is quite dominant and when he arrived, he would nip/bite and hated being touched.

I have only done the Sharing territory ritual. But last night was a first. I sat down with a book and just waited. He came to me immediately. He waited in front of me, then smelled my book. The second he tried to bite the book, I got up and moved my hands asking him to back away. Normally, he would be scared but I believe he trusted me that I wouldn’t hit him (he was hit alot in the past). He tried again a few times but then just lay his head on my head. I think for the first time someone trusted him that he wouldn’t bite. He then left to eat his hay.

I want to thank you for teaching me everything I know so far. Yes, I have a problem being a leader but as I’ve always known, I can’t force myself to be a good leader. But when the time comes, my horse will tell me. I believe my action of letting him approach me and trusting him was the best thing for him (and me!!)

Hoping to meet both you and your mother this year and I will most certainly participate in one of your programs that you offer but after May since winter is very lonely here (without an indoor arena).

Again thank you!!

linda salinas - 3 years ago

One more thing….I forgot to mention. The video and the dog I have seen numerous times but every time I see it, it’s like it was the first.

So beautiful and moving.

linda salinas - 3 years ago

Hi Carolyn,

As always, I couldn’t agree more with what you wrote. As I progress in your method there are so many realizations I have come to learn and know about myself. Some I like, and some I don’t, but what I like is, without having taken this journey with your writings and teachings I would never have known what I didn’t like about myself and the change to betterment would never have taken place. The videos we send in are marvelous teaching tools for me. To be able to observe what I really look like and what I really sound like at times has been an eye opener for me. An example is: As a mother of 4 children, I have heard myself bark at my horses like I would to my children. Now I am so conscious of how I sound now that when I do so out of habit, I can feel a cringe after the fact. I also have seen, how in a hurry I can be and how horse training has really helped me to slow down and be more present. It’s really amazing all the little report cards I am getting from the power of observing of myself because of your method. I am learning to relax and to be more in the moment. There is something funny about being in the state of “allowing” vs. fighting. Another example of this is, many times when I have to take my dog out for the last potty break, I dread it because it’s cold and I don’t want to go, but when I give up the dreading and just accept it and allow it to be, I see the most beautiful night skies that only the winter time has to offer and I don’t notice the cold or anything unpleasant because I am so mesmerized by the sky and moon light. When I also am in the state of allowing, I find my intuition guiding me that otherwise I would have missed. It’s such a wonderful journey and I am liking to opportunity to make a change(s) within myself. I hope that never stops. Your program has helped me in so many ways. It seems each week is an affirmation of what I am personally experiencing and I know that I am not alone in this feeling.

I think of you and your mom almost everyday and when I do, know that I am sending you support and love on a golden thread from my heart to yours.

Life can be so marvelous!

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Linda,
    You words touch me deeply. You are truly gift to my program in just what you have discovered about yourself. It is this that I hope that people get from my teachings. Everyday I too must remember to remember to bring myself to that start of allowance and my own personal well being.

    From my heart to your heart,

    Carolyn

maggie - 3 years ago

The following is an email I have sent to a program on behalf of one of my horses because I have almost given up.. today through his gentle love, I realized that I am the broken part of this relationship due to my lack of self confidence.. I have said all along that I am “afraid of getting hurt” because of his sensitivity issues.. but what I am realizing it that I am afraid I can’t help him, I am afraid I won’t know what to do when he gets anxiety.. after the email to the program about him I am attaching the private message I sent my trainer today..

“Hello! I found your facility through the Eagala website. I had left Raquel a voicemail last week or so about my Lachlin,
> (celtic for “from the land of the lakes”).. I have also sent you a message via facebook.
> I have owned him for approx 5 years. He came to me through a local dealer, probably on his way to Canada (meat markets). He is AMAZING.. and has been a great source of healing for me as he came to me shortly after my Mommas’ passing and during the time as my Dad worked hard to join her.. My heart and healing are wrapped up in this horse. Unfortunately for both he and I, human hands and minds had already damaged his trust and security as a riding partner. I have worked with him over the years that I have been blessed to have him by my side, on my own and with very knowledgeable trainers. (Maggie Johnston, Jon Mallory to name a couple) He is very rideable in his comfort zone and an enjoyable partner under saddle. I, unfortunately, ride to things that are greatly outside of that zone. I am a solid rider on a solid horse, but a nervous rider on a nervous horse. Not a good mix for the two of us.
> It breaks my heart to admit that no matter how hard he wants to, and he has tried soooo much, his ability to be without his herd and to trust himself and his rider is just asking too much of him in my hands. He is soft and respectful on the ground, playful and loving and awesome while in his comfort zone. Even on his back, within his comfort zone, he is beautiful. His fear comes when asked to move out of that zone, as he forgets his training and reverts to reactive/non-thinking responses, backing up, popping up, and becoming nervous which are dangerous to both himself and his rider. And I am not the caliber of rider that can work him confidently through it.
> Never malicious.. ever.
> I cannot put him in hands that will not honor who he is at his heart and spiritual level. They will ruin something precious. I need someone who will protect him and understand the gifts he has to offer. There are people and animals that need who he is. Standing here in my pasture does not do him justice or advance the dreams I have for him.
> With everything that I am, I ask that you please consider offering him a forever home there with you, and a herd to offer the safety and love that he so needs and wants to give. Maybe even the kind of rider he can excel with. I would be donating him and would deliver him.
> We are a self employed family on a small five acre farm here in Corning doing the best we can. He has healing gifts, wisdom and knowledge to offer.. And while I ache with the thought of letting him go I have to consider what would ultimately be best for him, as well as honoring a husband that sacrifices so much to support the family he loves and provides for.
> He was sold to me as an arab/quarter cross, but my trainer says if he’s not 100 percent arab she will eat her hat.. lol And as she bred and raised them for a number of years I trust she should know.. He is sound and healthy. 14 yrs old and approx 14.3 hands or so.. No health issues. Up to date on teeth, feet, coggins and rabies. He is 24/7 turnout here with run ins. An easy keeper on hay, requires no grains and easy for vet and farrier. Strong, solid barefoot hooves. Leads, loads and stands well. Ties well with a partner, but if alone will get anxious. If he is confined alone, he will revert to cribbing and pacing habits. Fence walker when pastured alone. Will try to side step when saddled, but will respond to a patient hand, good with a cinch and we ride him in a hack. He does go with a bit, but I have found him more relaxed without it. He does better with a magnesium supplement as it supports his adrenals and helps him to relax. Falls in love with mares and will establish his place in the herd, usually in second or third order..
> I guess that is it.. in a nutshell.. so much more to say about him, but not enough paper in the world to hold the words.
> Please consider him. Please. I sent you some pics through facebook but none that do him justice.. those are the ones that he has shown me that no camera can catch.. You are the third and last facility within reach for me to help him. I have been turned down by one, ignored so far by the other.
> Thank you for your time in reading this.. I would be happy to forward contact information for my trainer, vet and farrier as references for both he and I, as well as transcripts of conversations I’ve “had” with him via a very talented animal communicator.” end letter

Then to my trainer today: “Have you ever had a moment in time where you realized you have been trying to “fix” something that wasn’t broken.. I am having one of those moments now.

Its been me all along.. and its not fear. I mean, yeah, I don’t want to have us wreck or get hurt.. so its not fear in the traditional meaning of the word anyway.. it is fear that I don’t know what to do.. it is a complete lack of belief in myself. I have TONS of knowledge and much more to learn… accomplishments (with limits), but zero belief in myself. I am 44 yrs old and have realized there is not one thing (beyond the beauty of loving my children) that I can honestly say I am good at “this”. How messed up is that.. lol

A beautiful childhood, loving and supportive parents and siblings, an amazing blessed life here and now… and the realization that I have NEVER felt true confidence and belief in myself in ANY ways that really speak to who I am. Now isn’t that completely messed up..

You can hide yourself from people, we are so out of touch with one another, but the beauty of horses is that you can’t hide who you are from them. He is my mirror and I have been avoiding seeing my own reflection.

So, while trying to “fix” my Lach, I have discovered that he may have “issues”, but he’s not the one thats broke.. I am about to give up on him, because I of my s***.

So now I get to figure out, how does one truly believe in oneself, beyond self-doubt and judgement..

I’m not expecting you to have the answers to this really.. but one of the things I truly respect and admire about you is your TOTAL sense of self assurance..
and since you have time and energy wrapped up in the two of us, I thought it only fair to let you in on the “secret” I have discovered today.. I don’t know what I’m gonna do about it yet.. but it tends to put things in a different light for now…”

And to you Carolyn.. your blog spoke to me today… probably for the first time and I have received them for quite awhile and thought that your methods were beyond me.. but maybe not.
Thank you for a little hope..

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Maggie,
    I read so much fear and sadness from a wonderful and strong person. The lucky part is your horse can tell you what he wants in his life and you can offer it to him like giving him horses that bring him well being. Some times that is the only role we need to play to discover our authentic self.
    I would like to ask if your horse was every thing you needed like a horse that you could ride any were would you want to give him away then?
    Why not before he has left you take him on nature walks and just before he exhibits nerviness you ask him to stand for a moment and then return him back to were he is comfortable and when he is relaxed again start out on another nature walk. Consider that you take nature walks with out him and get connect with nature and the joy what nature has to provide you. Keep this program up until you find him a home. This could be very healing for you.
    Warmly,
    Carolyn

StephanieMorse - 3 years ago

Carolyn

How generous of you. Your offer to help those who need it for free had me teary-eyed, then I watched that video and really started crying.

that video was great.

Hope you and your Mom have a great weekend.

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Stephanie,
    Thank you for reading my blog and connecting with me and my mom.
    We will have a great weekend. We hope you will too.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

LauraK - 3 years ago

“A mistake that many horse owners sometimes make is that they get an untrained horse so they can learn together with their horse. It does seem that it would be the natural way to train and make a connection. Then they find that the journey doesn’t unfold as they would have hoped. Green on green doesn’t usually work and when it does, it is a gift from God. It means you have a talent or a nack that cannot be denied.”

Dear Carolyn,
Sometimes (more often than not) your words touch me to the depths of my heart! Six years ago, when I was 54, I witnessed the birth of my stallion and have raised him almost exclusively by myself. The journey that has unfolded has been very interesting to say the least, but I would not have changed it for a second. I truly believe that my horse is a gift from God, in addition to the bond that we have had, lost and regained even stronger recently! I don’t know about a knack or talent but I sure have been very lucky! :) In addition, since finding you and your methods, the bond continues to increase in such a phenomenal way that it brings tears to my eyes and warms my heart every single time I am with him…and that is every day!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart! :) :)
Laura

Emily Glidden - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn,

What a lovely blog, as always. The video of the dog and the child brought me to tears. Just beautiful.

We have our first real snow of the year here in Virginia. It is just a few inches of very puffy, light snow. It’s very pretty, but with the ground frozen there is less to “do” with the horses. And everyone’s feeling cooped up and chilly and excited by the wind.

When I arrived at the barn, PB and his buddy Sabby had just received fresh hay in great big piles placed around the snowy field. I asked PB to lift his head and come with me. For the first time in many months, he lifted his head up from the hay pile but did not want to come with me. The wind was howling and I was so cold and just wanted to get to the barn! Meanwhile, PB was thinking maybe he would ignore my request and go back to eating. “Up, Up,” I repeated and he complied. Then I asked him to put his head back down and eat.

And so I adjusted his program and we worked with the piles of hay that had been set out there so nicely by the barn owner. I braved the wind and we got moving on a little leading from behind, a little head-up head-down, eye contact and sharing territory. After a little while, it was clear that he was happy to come companion walk with me to the barn, so we did that. We did some physical therapy exercises in the barn, then headed down to the arena for more physical therapy.

On the way down to the arena, he stopped and balked, wanting to eat the grass that was poking out underneath the snow. You see, PB has taught me that the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence, even when it is dusted with snow. I said, “No, you cannot eat the grass there right now,” and asked him to come ahead with me. And so he did. In another ten feet he stopped again and we went through the same conversation. We did this a few more times, until we came to a spot of my choosing and I said, “Here, eat this grass! This is a really good spot.” And so we stayed there and he grazed for a few minutes.

After he had uncovered a good bit of grass, pushing the snow to the side with his wiggling lip, I asked him to lift his head and come with me to the arena. The wind was blustering and when his eyes tracked over to the far side of the arena where the trees are thick, I could see he was a little scared. I stood with him and breathed into my heart and rather quickly I saw his energy settle down. We walked together over groundpoles and eventually ventured closer to the scary trees.

There were cushions on the ground made of soft plastic that he found very interesting. He put his nose down to them and pushed them around playfully. These cushions are used for body awareness, so I went and stood on them and suggested that he do the same. He said he preferred I stand on the cushions, which I did and found myself in a very playful and relaxed frame of mind. We stood together until he started to fall asleep, his eyes blinking slowly and heavily. He yawned a few times and seemed completely content.

After some time, I took him for another walk over the groundpoles and then, a little trot to warm up those cold muscles, but not too much because of the frozen ground. By this time we were both having lots of fun and headed back to the barn and to his field all synched up. It was a lovely way to spend a cold, wintery afternoon.

That is my story for today Carolyn. I hope you enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it :).

All my best,
Emily

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Emily,

    Today is dark and rainy and that is enough to keep me in the house. Thanks for sharing. I was with you every step of the way. I hope others read of your journey because it may help them to know more in how to interact with their own horses to stay in the leadership role that a horse would be able to do. We need to pick and choose to keep the leadership and the bond in place at the same time.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

Desiree, the Netherlands, EC spring 2012, IC summer 2012 with Abby - 3 years ago

Dear Carolyn, this blog makes me realize even more just how lucky I was to have had my equine soulmate Lee as my first horse. She was a 15 year old ex schoolmaster when we got her and she had a very strong personality and an even stronger need to teach. Her lessons were sometimes tough but always fair and she never crossed the line where I would get frightened or hurt. She was very strong, both mentally and physically and she took good care of me, as I did of her to the best of my (ever growing) knowledge. Because she was my first horse, I did not have any notion of how I was supposed to do things and went with what she offered. This was a blessing and something that your work has often taken me back to in my thoughts, as I had resorted to listening too much to outsiders instead of following my own intuition. Lee and I were inseparable until the very last moment and I still carry her life lessons with me in how I work with my horses today.
The movie with the dog and the child is very touching.
Thank you.
Love,
Desiree

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Desiree,
    Thank you for sharing. There is so much that our horses provide to us beyond that we would like them to do for us. More and more people are happy with their horses as they are. The more we can do this the more we can learn for them and receive the well being they can bring us in our daily lives.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

Erica Dixon - 3 years ago

Hi Carolyn

I have a question. I was about to write my question when I remembered a nursery rhyme & this is about my Izzy:

There was a little girl
who had a little curl (whorl?)
Right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good,
she was very, very good,
But when she was bad she was horrid!

(But she is completely gorgeous as well!)

It is about herd boundness & so it only comes up on the days when the other horses are out in the pasture that is further away. It is something that is ongoing & sometimes its ok & sometimes not. I’ve done ‘coping skills’ (taking the corner of the area she wants to be in & keeping her out & if this fails switching the game plan). I’ve done this once since I got back from the clinic & it is better (I obviously didn’t do it right before … do you remember my question on that ha ha)! I’ve done things like just keep LFB. I can do eye contact. She now no longer has a fit, but she will only CW for a bit & then she wants to break away & go back to look over at the other horses. I tried upping my energy, but it didn’t work. It is obviously worse if she is in season & usually I don’t bother her when she is like this. Today I did my best to keep myself in that joyful state, but to be honest I was a bit ‘off’ the world today. However, I did manage to get Izzy to come the entire length of the arena for carrots away from the others, but it took a while. I just kept calling her & sometimes cracked the whip. It was an experiment! What appears to have set off this latest need to be with her herd is after there was a shooting party in the neighbouring field. She is constantly looking for them. She is in fear, but she goes into the fearful dominant behaviour if she gets a chance. & I can literally hear you saying ‘she is using her bigness against you’! It is so much better, but I can’t seem to help her get really over this. I am wondering if now that she no longer goes mad at these times, whether I should just ST & wait for her to come up to me. Or if I should be more pro active as otherwise she can get to pacing & becoming upset. I have looked at myself & how I am feeling. I constantly wonder ‘is it me’? But I can feel really good & then it still happens.

Best wishes & hugs

Erica

    Carolyn Resnick
    Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

    Dear Erica,
    This would be a good think to video so I can see her and you together.
    The Marchado call would be good for this. Let evolution help you out and do not try to fix it. Maybe take her out to the horses and let her settle and bit by bit show her that other places are more rewarding because of the better grazing spots.

    Warmly,
    Carolyn

      Erica Dixon - 3 years ago

      Ok great. Simple!

      I sent an email the other week. I’ll have to send another one about the Marchador programme…

      Thanks & best wishes

      Erica

        Erica Dixon - 3 years ago

        PS: Carolyn – I was going to email, but it is easier on the blog. At the moment to be honest the only way I could do that Marchador programme is through one of your free spots. I can wait till February if needs be. I was going to email you why, but then thought ‘why’ may not be important or you may have a knowing as to why!! I am utterly rubbish at asking for help – so this is a really big ask from me! I need to make a change in my life somehow. I keep thinking of what Mena said to you ‘be ready to receive’. So this is also me attempting to go with the flow of the evolution instead of blocking it. & listening to what my horse has been reflecting back to me… (light bulb moment!)
        Erica

          Carolyn Resnick
          Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

          Dear Erica,
          On the programs on my mothers care I can not give these spots away. I can offer free spots on my regular programs. Can we talk by phone?

          Warmly,
          Carolyn

            Carolyn Resnick
            Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

            Erica,
            Also please try what I suggested to you in taking your horse to the field and working her like I suggested and let me know what happened. I believe that is will help. The thing you want to be is careful to not look at what you do not like about her response that is in your mind negative. Make a list of what she did do and then really feel this as a deep gift. You say some times she is good, be really happy with this and allow evolution support your progress.
            I think you are wanted what you do not have more than being clear in what is working allowing time to support your relationship.
            Warmly,
            Carolyn

              Erica Dixon - 3 years ago

              Hi Carolyn
              Before I saw your last reply I kind of realised that myself. Yesterday the horses were in the yarded area near the work area when I got there, so I switched it around & took her out in hand down the road a little to where she looks. Where I had stashed many carrots & her food bowl. It worked out very nicely. She calmed down so much she was then able to forage in the verge for new shoots that are growing (even though its freezing here). & then walk back reeeaaallly slowly. I smiled & laughed a lot more.
              You have such a gift for spotting the one thing people do that blocks them! You are 100% right in my case. I am aware of it, but I fall off the wagon sometimes… but then it is how you get back on isn’t! Thank you so much. I shall keep evoling & I’ll be in touch.
              Erica

                Erica Dixon - 3 years ago

                This reply was supposed to be under my original post… never mind! :)

                Carolyn Resnick
                Carolyn Resnick - 3 years ago

                Dear Erica,
                I got your message and am glad you got back the connection on your own.
                See yourself as resourceful and then the solution is easy for a child to solve. This way seeing yourself as child that can, you will not try to accomplish to much at a time with your horse. You ask “what can I do today that would be safe and still be able to move froward at the same time?” If that is too much do what feels good only and wait for evolution to move you forward and it will! Another one is to put yourself in your horses “shoes” and you will understand better where you horse is coming from.

                Unrealistic expectations will cause you problems.

                Warmly,

                Carolyn

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