Allowing the Drama to Turn to Harmony
Jul 8th, 2010 by Carolyn Resnick Method
There are segments of time when things work out magically, and there are other times when chaos is present.
Today I was dealing with an upset on the ranch. Two horses had become very agitated with one another from having been switched to one another’s paddock. They worked themselves up so much that I was going to have to put them back in their original paddocks, because of the risks of them running around and getting hurt, as they were looking for a way to get to each other over the top of the fence. They got so wild we could see that we could hardly lead them back to their original homes, because they wanted to fight it out with one another and break away for being lead. Both horses have some unfinished training in regards to getting out of control when being lead in a time that they get angry with another horse. One is a stallion and the other is a tough gelding that exhibits behavior like a Stallion. He was the more difficult of the two.
The natural order of things is harmony, and if you let chaos go through its course, it will on its own return to a harmonious state.
I did not let the rhythm of the drama hurry me to make hasty decisions. I got into this state by surrendering to the drama at the instant that it occurred, and being happy to give it the time it was going to take to return the peace to the ranch.
We took our time and got the horses back to their original homes, but had we turned them loose again, they would have gone back to a running frenzy. So, Martin, a working student from Colombia, and I shared territory with them, one at a time. We held them on a rope at their feeding bins at dinnertime, to take their minds off of their vendettas. The hours slipped by… I do not know where the time went, but each horse had my full attention. Attention creates time to pass quickly. When I give my full attention to the moment, it makes my day completely peaceful, even when it did not at all go like I had originally planned.
I own my ability to adjust to hard times by my practice of the first Ritual, Sharing Territory. I talk about developing coping skills in my horses, but I spend just as much time in developing them for myself. I have found that, by doing so, I can make better decisions in times of crisis, and have more acceptance of situations, people and horses in my life.
It is amazing how clear thinking can restore harmony and order in times of chaos.
I had decided that I would stay with each horse for as long as it would take for the well-being to return to them both. The secret to our success was slowing down.
When the changes started taking place in their energy, it brought me well-being like a great vacation where life becomes in perspective. I did not have to go through fear or anger, or any other feeling that would pinch off my well-being. Somewhere in the middle of the mayhem, I got an unexpected feeling greater than mere well-being. It even helped to settle the horses. I knew at that moment I was exactly where I wanted to be, and willing to accept the situation full on. It came from my habit of practicing putting my attention on feeling joy in the non-emergency times of Sharing Territory. I developed a switch that saves me from negative emotions created from conditions and circumstances in life.
No place on earth could have been more inviting, and no company could have been more divine. It was odd that I was affected in this way, it happened to me in the same way negative emotions creep in. I greatly appreciated the outcome. Martin, the two horses and myself, all found peace in the moments of hard times. A peace that I really have no words for. I was at peace from a very shaky few hours.
What felt best is I know that everything that I did was precise and smart. I could have left them running in their paddocks for the night and expected them to work it out. In my heart, I new that what I had done was the right thing. It was a feeling I got that I learned to listen to years ago.
In my book Naked Liberty, I remember that I spoke of how I did not want to go to sleep because I wanted to experience every moment of the aftermath in how good I felt from the day I had spent with the wild horses. I spoke of the whispering pines that rustled up against the house just outside my bedroom when I was a child, and how it had filled my soul with well-being, listening to the gentle sounds in a quieted state of bliss.
Tonight will be like that. It is now 9 pm and I am getting ready to retire. Have a great weekend. I hope you also find an amazing journey with your horses this weekend, that will carry over for days to follow in a beautiful state of natural being.
May the spirit of the bond be with you.
Carolyn
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I love this post, it is such a good reminder for life and all our dramas. Thank you Carolyn
I have studied PNC for 8 years. They say when a horse is acting right brained, match his energy and he will look for a way to find the middle ground and calm down. I get so confused with the psychology of horse behavior. Can you please explain this concept to me.
Hi Carolyn,
A quick update on my progress with Raffin. I’m hoping to have a video to you later this week. We’re sharing territory most days and I feel like we’re getting to know each other better, so the bond is coming along.
The eye contact is going better, now that he knows he has to turn his whole body around. This seems to have improved the leading from behind, as well as go trot. When I ask him to whoa, he usually turns in to face me (memories of natural horsemanship techniques, I think). How do I get him to stop beside me?
An example of allowance:
We had a successful session the previous day, leading from behind – walking and trotting around the alfalfa pile, and then me leading him to it, so he could eat. Yesterday I gave him his lunch of grass hay, and had the alfalfa close to me (for later). He finished his grass hay, and then started to go into a walking circle around me and the alfalfa! So I got up and lead him from behind for a few circles, and then let him have some alfalfa. Somehow, I think he’s got this figured out!
An example of not allowing:
He seems to prefer going in one direction over the other. When I push him to go in his less preferred direction, he goes into the corner and turns around the other way. I’ve tried blocking him, but he’s pretty persistent. How should I deal with this?
Thanks,
Dyann
Dear Carolyn, Roberta and I were talking about this blog posting – we wondered if the two horses in their separate ‘homes’ were held on a rope all the time til they quieted down or just when they were eating – if the latter, is that because they can still see each other where they eat but not when they are in the stable?
Roberta sends love and greetings, she is too shy to post in English!
love and greetings from me too in superhot Italy, looking forward to being in cooler UK tomorrow for two weeks!
susan
IC, Italy
Dear Carolyn
Get all warm from your story, thats great
What I do a lot, is only Sharing Terretory. Rest and patience together and Connection.
What i experience as i been very busy and go sit with my horses I’m going down, my heartbeat and breathing become calm, the horses are doing this for us. As you indicate Carolyn, time flies by, and it is oke, it bring you in a good feeling. Thats what you taught me in your training stay in the moment.
Thanks thanks thanks
You’re the best Carolyn
Big Hug Monique
Hi Carolyn, (IC)
Wonderful blog as usual. This section really resonated with me.
“It came from my habit of practicing putting my attention on feeling joy in the non-emergency times of Sharing Territory. I developed a switch that saves me from negative emotions created from conditions and circumstances in life.”
There is nothing quite like sharing territory. It’s always the best part of the day for me and my horses.
Thank you for this.
Diane
beautiful!
Dear Carolyn,
What a joy your blog was to read – transcending difficulties to enter a
spiritual space.
I have to admit that my perception had been clouded for quite a while by a
filter of frustration. The obstacles and dramas took on significance
because of distance – I can only see my horses one day a week.
This brings me to a quote which I found relevant to my situation.
situation.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Courage to change the things I can……………
Last week I set the ball in motion to find a location much closer to Sydney.
So in the meantime I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Thursday was glorious -2 to 15 C but full sun and no wind.
I spent 7 hours with my horses, hanging out, playing, taking photos,
sitting, dreaming. The Uberstreichen was wonderful and I connected deeply with
Rikki and he came and gazed into my eyes for a long time. Andre set up a game
with Rikki and myself. I groomed them had healing meditations and the
time just vanished then the sun was setting and we were all content and happy.
My heart was full to brimming.
Thank you so much Carolyn for your inspiration –
love
Crissea
This is so great, it reminds me for some reason, the thoughts that run through my mind when I’m out with my own and watching them interact with eachother. Then when one of them inadvertently insults another and the split second panic when they realize they have “crossed” the line then the sudden little scuffle that puts them all in their proper rank. Then all is calm again, no feelings hurt, just the unspoken understanding of where they are in the band.
My husband use to panic when he would see these happen, it took a long time to convince him it is the natural order of things. It’s part of survival, part of finding the most confident leader.
Then my thoughts turn to my place in the band and how when things go wrong (like an injury or they’ve gotten loose)and panic or excitement sets in- they feed off my reaction which is always calm, determined and purposeful.
The scene quickly de-escalates and I feel their emotions per se following my emotions (which is my definition of leadership in the band). It really freaks my husband out, he totally doesn’t get it which is why if he were out there in a panicky situation all hell would break loose, and it has… thankfully no serious results, but he learned his lesson and leaves all that is horse to me…
Thank you for reminding me of those times where I’ve been their leader and they’ve sought my leadership…those moments always tighten the bond between us more each day.
Hi Carolyn, such wise words – thank you so much!!
Ang.
Dearest Carolyn, This post means so much to me that I cannot express my gratitude. You continue to remind me to practice what I know to be true in my connection with our beloved horses and all of life and that no matter what the circumstances, I can always access that. You are love and light and have profoundly blessed my life. I miss all of you but feel your love and appreciate each and all of you so much. Please forgive me for not being able to keep up with communication–I am sending love,
Connie Funk
Insider Circle
Dear Carolyn,
This post touched me deeply. The last several weeks have had much chaos in them, not with my horse, but with many others around me, and many responsibilities, requests and expectations.
My horse and I have stood strong through this because of the WHR’s, and I am a different person than I was because I am being sculpted by your wonderful methods. I was more in the past few weeks than I could have ever been prior to the WHR’s.
I am so blessed to be part of this class, the participants and your teachings. I wish it was possible to sign up as one of your lifetime students, as this class is such a wonderful part of my life.
Thank you for being a beautiful person and artist, continuously sculpting us and our horses through your wisdom.
Love,
Connie
Carolyn,
Harmony from chaos. This is the lodestar of your method, its guiding principle. In the time since I first encountered your method, I have discovered this for my self again and again. And sharing territory is the most important activity that teaches me how to make it happen.
When you talk about your feelings of peace and wellbeing in that paddock, I am with you in spirit, because now, that feeling is becoming a good friend to me. When I am with my horse, and when she becomes excited or nervous, I can take my energy and my thoughts to that quiet place where harmony lives. She responds to my serenity, and so we are slowly connecting.
My horse’s connection to me leads to trust, in both directions. I think we have passed through the difficult part, because I feel a bond with her that is new like a baby bird, and as full of life and of promise.
Gratefully,
Bonnie
Thank you Carolyn
I had a fantastic day today, really feeling I am just where I need to be, then I had my first invitation to ride – from Ron, my elderly QH!! It was such bliss.
I have been day dreaming about learning to ride bridle-less, and I think he has offered to let me learn with him. This confirmed my decision NOT to re-home him, we still have things to learn from each other
Thanks for helping me tap into the way I used to be
Sue
Dear Carolyn
What a great post and like so many personally really timely for me. Having been so busy I’ve been remiss at sharing territory with my horses recently. Such a poor excuse and your blog has made me realise again the importance of the pause and how so much can be achieved by just being still and quietening the mind.
Off now to go share territory and hang out with my lovely horses. They are such great teachers, just like you.
Thanks Carolyn
Love Jules
Hi Carolyn,
That was a beautiful story. It reminds me of the chaos of bringing a new horse into my little corral. It was very difficult to watch the new pecking order slowly emerge, but I feel blessed to have witnessed that ferocity now that harmony has returned. My three are tightly bonded and secure.
I often go to visit them with plans of where I’d like to ride that day or what ritual I’d like to work on, and find that hours have drifted by with me just spending time with them instead. In the blink of an eye, the day is gone. Some would call that a wasted day. For me, I feel as refreshed as if I had just taken a long nap. I’m pretty certain they feel the same.
Thank you for helping me cherish the pause. That’s where natural harmony can truly be found. Enjoy your peace. Love, Carol
By the way, people on the blog, I vaguely remember that there is going to be a clinic inspired by Carolyn’s method in Holland. Does anyone know more about that? Is anyone going?
Hi Brenda, I know about the clinic, and a subsequent seminar Stina will be giving. Click my name and you can get into contact with me
.
(Sorry Carolyn, for putting this on your blog, but I don’t have another way of getting into contact with Brenda)
How beautifully written! Your dyslexia doesn’t stop you from being a phantastic writer!
Personally, I find it extremely hard to keep my calm when my horse is upset, that doesn’t help my horse at all. Next time it happens I’ll think of this blog.
Dear Carolyn,
This blogpost is a precious jewel!
Thank you…
Dear Carolyn,
thank you for this wonderful blog. And it comes in the nick of time for me, as I just went through a bit of an emergency situation myself today with my mare when she overheated (we’ve had a wicked heat wave here in the Northeast). When we can find our bearings in these difficult moments is when everything, especially the connection to our horses, becomes even richer.
Your blog is very very beautifully written.
Good night.
Christian
Dear Carolyn,
Your committment to the well being of horses is beyond compare.
You inspire me to be a better person for myself, for others and especially for horses.
Thank you for sharing so unselfishly your experiences and for the words so beautifully written.
I’m heading out to the pasture right away to share the peace I feel in this moment, after reading today’s blog, with my horses.
Warmly, Stephanie
Hey Carolyn,
Amazing this feels like what I wrote to you earlier, little stallion galloping around the paddock. In the moment #1 realizing I’d gone into the paddock without my reed and # 2 question should I retrieve Shiloh to calm him. In that very moment I quieted my mind chatter said whoa and decided to share territory for as long as it would take by the end we were both quietly enjoying our mutual love for each other me scratching his withers he in ecstasy receiving . I love this connection and your guidance. Love and Blessings Sherry This is the little black stallion that you said “yes buy him!” I love and cherish him with all my heart …….. am I crazy????
This brought me so much peace to read also. With my busy schedule I have to remember to take a deep breath and be in the moment!!
You are such a gift. I hope you are enjoying summer and haveing a blast with everything.
Love, Virginia
Thank you Carolyn for the lovely story.
It is so true that finding this way of ‘going with the flow’ with horses can translate into all areas of life.
Have fun with your ‘feisty boys’ and a great weekend!
Blessings & thanks,
Moyna, Hero & Buddy
Dear Carolyn,
That brought me peace and well being just reading it.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences.
Blessings
Regina