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When I was growing up, I couldn’t wait for my two horsemanship magazines each month. One was called Western Horseman and the other was called Horse Lovers. They cost 36 cents a copy and they held free lessons in them and free things to send away for. With my horses and these magazines, my days were filled with things I could do and ways I could train. Over time, my skill grew with horses. The horses helped me along in their training because of the connection in friendship that we shared. They made me look like I knew what I was doing even when I did not. It was like a Dr. Dolittle adventure. The reason for this is that I focused on how to get the horse to help me from my lack of experience in training horses. From the bond I had developed with my horses, we had a desire to do things together and my horses would try to figure out how to support me on our adventures in our ever-deepening cross-species bond.

Not only have I been able to help you to develop a cross-species bond with your horse through this site, but also my blog is bringing people together to enjoy a new journey with horses where the connection is gained and the dance of perfection is found in the ability to lead in a spontaneous collaborative way. With my guidance, I want your team working skills with horses to grow from your practice of leadership. Through the In the Box Program, we will be taking a journey together into the mind and heart of the horses You will learn the intricate details in how to shape the social behavior of horses to fit in the world of humans through the daily bonding rituals horses use to create loyalty, responsibility, and desire to work together as a team for the well being of the herd.

I want to note that it is common practice and most people feel if you ask a horse to do something that you need to follow through and stick-to-it until the horse complies, the thinking here seems to be, that quitting without following through will cause a problem that the horse will learn how to refuse your direction if you did not carry it through in getting what you want. However, this is not the focus of my method. In my method the horse will naturally want to follow your lead if the horse is allowed to respond the way he chooses. When a horse is allowed to make his own decisions from your leadership at liberty it causes a horse to enjoy the challenges you set up for him and seek to want to please you.

It will take longer for your horse to want to follow your lead if he has been forced than if you allowed him to refuse your leadership without an incident. The trick is not completely letting him have his way but still give him freedom to fit in when he chooses to. Meaning, if you do not point out to a horse that he did not follow your lead, your horse will be unaware that he went against you. In this approach, the horse sees that you do not take his power of choice away from him, which strengthens the bond and the willingness. Giving a horse choices and clear boundaries opens the heart and creates a place of safety and a kind of supportive leadership a horse is drawn to. When a horse sees your leadership is the cause of his well being, more and more he will not question your leadership. Learning how to use my method, both the horse and human change roles as leader creating a grander dance than any enforced choreography could. Most acts I see at liberty look trained and are trained. The performance is not created for a spontaneous dance in freedom that has a sense of play and celebration. The horse knows the routine but is not truly connected and engaged with his partner. The leadership is tolerated but not desired.

The reason the horse should enjoy his performance is because of the relationship he is sharing with you.

Someone on the Uberstreichen Exercises conference call asked me a question in how we would share leadership with a horse. I immediately thought of a game children play that requires teamwork in leadership and followership that I thought I would put into writing because it was so illustrative that I would like to share with people who were not on that call.

This is how I explained a two-way connection where the horse and the human share in the leadership and follower ship dance. A game I remember playing as a child explains the rolls of leading and following equally shared. Two people join hands and lean back holding onto their partner. You take turns spinning your partner around causing you both to travel forward, not letting go of each other. It takes two to have this up-lifting connection. The centrifugal force takes over and dances both you and your partner on a magical journey into a new found freedom through the connection that you choose to maintain.

Here are some examples of switching leadership roles with your horse using the Rituals. Lets look at the leadership exchange that takes place in The Ritual- Sharing Territory that builds the bond. When you are waiting for your horse to make a connection with you…in these moments he is the leader. Then when you must take a stand on setting a boundary from his rudeness, you are the leader. Your choice to lead is driven from your need to keep the relationship fair by setting your personal boundaries with him.

In the Hello Ritual when you walk up to the horse to say, “hello” you are the leader when your horse walks way from your approach, he is the leader. When your horse allows your to say hello, you are equal allowers.

Let’s look at the Ritual- Leading from Behind to gain willness. When you are following your horse, he is the leader because he knows you are following him. Then when you ask him to speed up, you are the leader. Once you have influenced him to speed up and then go back to a passive following, your horse is again the leader. I will help you to see these rolls clearly and how to be in charge of these rolls. It is easy, fun and life-changing. The practice you do with your horse in this up coming In the Box Program will give you the ability to work with any horse that you encounter.

Understanding how horses build unity and order from the practice of the Waterhole Rituals you can have a magical connection with your horse without worry about having to make your horse perform through riding and training with tack. You will learn how to allow your horse to choose your leadership and how to build his desire to learn and perform..

The Waterhole Rituals are used to develop your relationship with your horse and to develop a horse that wants to follow your lead. The focus of the rituals is not on performance. The key is building the horse’s desire to follow your lead rather than enforcing your leadership while training your horse with tack. When your horse refuses your leadership in training, you do not force the issue. You allow him the right to say “NO.” When this happens you go back to practicing the Waterhole Rituals to restore his interest to follow your lead by increasing the heartstrings of connection and enforcing social order and respect for your leadership. Next, you go back and change the program you were doing with tack where you got a “no” to something you know your horse would like to do. As time goes on your horse will refuse you less and less and you will build an ability to know what to ask from your horse that he would be willing to do. Force is never used in riding and training of horses with tack. Instead, you work on increasing the bond and enforcing the rules in herd behavior. If you feel a need to push a horse past something, you would stop your pursuit, return him to the Waterhole Rituals, work out a better connection, and ask again for something you know he would do and stop for the day. The main thing to remember is to give your horses “no fault insurance”.

I hope this new information will spur you to join the ‘In the Box’ Program if you have not done so already. Please spread the word to your friends so that they can take a clinic with me at home with their horse starting on the 18th April. And for those of you wondering how to finance the Program, I will have news on Thursday of something that may help you.

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33 Responses to “Changing Leadership Positions Using the Waterhole Rituals”

  1. 33
    Tamara Blits says:

    My horse is getting better everyday. He is backing up by my side , or just backing up . He used to not want to go back. now I think he wants to show me he can. He can do almost anything, he chooses. sometimes he does what he wants. I just make a game of it. He knows exactly what I do and say. I love him so much. He is always watching me. If I look away from him, He sneaks up behind me.

  2. 32
    Tamara Blits says:

    Thanks for all your good words. I take care of what animals need. And I don’t try to change them, I just love them and respect them, for who they are. My Dakota, is curious, and wants to lead me. as I walk with him. He Is very smart. He doesn’t get scared as much as he used to. He is so conected to me, He wont leave me. I play with him until he gets playful. When I try to send him out to trot, he just brings his head into me. so I push his hind quarters, and his head follows me . we are standing so close. he’s circling around me. just pivoting. His hind legs move but his front legs stay with me. Then we go the other way. Then I finally wake him up and chase him off to trot. That’s when the fun starts. He trots around the corral, always looking for what’s next. Always coming back to me for something. that’s when he gets playful. I tell him run! and he runs like a wild horse. Then He will canter and look at me. I’ll change his direction , an he bucks off and runs so pretty. It’s hard to explain. He is my friend. Sometimes he gets pushy. But I just push him back. or turn him around or, stop and face him, or maybe back him up. Tell him to lower his head, and pet him. He walks with me and backs up with me sometimes. He is stubborn about backing up at my side. but he’s getting better all the time. It’s so much fun to follow his ideas. Together we create lots of fun.

  3. 31
    Connie Huibregtse says:

    Again, thank you so much for your teachings! I must say, it is amazing to do with my horse. But I am also finding that I am using the knowledge in my human relationships in creative ways and I am enjoying the results:)!

    Yesterday it saved us ‘another’ $200 deductible on a repair that was requested, but ignored the first go around on our vehicle, and I reviewed what I have learned in my mind with WHR as I worked with my 18 year old son, when he was having bursts of rudeness with me. It worked well and got us back to our usual bonded way:).

    It is profoundly amazing what we can learn from each other and with animals and nature. I am listening to a CD by Ted Andrews called Animal Speak, and whole new worlds and ideas are continuing to come into my awareness, and all so in synch with my learning here. It is just fascinating and exciting!

    Thank you all for your stories! I just read the last few new ones and am very touched to be able to learn from all of you. Your words take me there as if I am watching it all happening in front of me.

    Connie

  4. 30
    kim says:

    Good morning Carolyn,

    Thank-you so much for your words of wisdom. I wanted to comment on sharing and alternating leadership. I have made comments to people that you can take all the spook out of a horse with the waterhole rituals…i have to be able to accomplish this feat as i have 14 horses that are used daily by different riders, most of whom have challenges ranging from emotional to developmental. I use the liberty method to establish a bond between each of the riders and their horses as well as a bond between myself and each of the horses. If we are moving down a trail and the horse sees something that concerns him, he immediately searches for a leader. If he recognizes the leadership in his rider, he is soothed and finds direction to move through the challenge. If he does not find leadership in his rider he is able to locate me and again is soothed and moves on. This of course is the desired goal…and it works wonderfully. When it doesn’t work and the horse remains agitated or concerned, I can step in and lead him or the rider can dismount and lead him, BUT…here is the key…when we return home, we will practice leading from behind, and focus (ritual 5) either later that day or soon. It is leading from behind and focus that teaches them to take your leadership from the saddle instead of needing you to be out in front of them. When they are able to look at you, recognize that you acknowledged the challenge and deemed it safe, then they are willing to accept your request for them to move though the difficulty…at their pace. I have heard some folks say that you should not look at the obstacle your horse finds alarming as this will cause them to be more alarmed…i disagree…if I am leading and do not notice a potential threat, the horse is going to have to get big with me in order to make their concern known. If instead i see it and assess it safe, he will respond with trust and willingness to follow my lead, knowing that i am aware of all that is around us. It also builds huge trust when you see a challenge, deem it unsafe and choose to retreat…peacefully. Teaching your horse how to recognize what is safe and what is not as well as how to respond appropriately in each situation, builds confidence and security in himself as well as in you.

  5. 29
    Laurinda says:

    Giving the horse a choice is such an incredibly big thing. I hadn’t really thought about it before. I just try to do what feels right and what the horses seem to be telling me. I’m not very good at explaining my reasons verbally to others who question it or suggest another way. Once I tried to explain to a friend big into natural horsemanship how our pony Thunder would do about anything for us, if we just asked him first. He was a huge spirited and wise being in a small body. Of course I didn’t and couldn’t explain the unexplainable about how this worked. My friend thought this was interesting and asked Thunder to play some games with her. He said NO. Thunder has never had a need for games to get connection or whatever, and I respected that. He was old and we had gotten way past needing those tools in our relationship. (Thunder was a sour, independent, schooling pony when we got him. He taught us so much about true partnership, not the least of which was that his name was not Blackie and he wasn’t a cute nor little!) My friend tried again, asking a different way. When he still said no, she assumed he was playing games with her and tried to force him. when he fought back and then ran from her as far as the line would go, she claimed he was very fearful. And there I stood, silently appologizing to Thunder for not being able to get the message across to my friend. He wasn’t playing games or being fearful so to speak. He was simply trying to get away from somebody who wasn’t listening to him. Listening and choice are still foreign concepts to so many horse people. thank you all for spreading the word.
    Laurinda

  6. 28
    stina says:

    I really look forward to your weekly blogs!

    I am learning to communicate with my sheep, donkies and chicken like i am learning with my horses through the cross species communications learned from the water hole rituals.

    I find this blog very interesting because i am just doing alot of leading and following from behind with one of my mare as i have asked her somethings she do not like to do and then i go back to the waterhole rituals then i go forward to ask her the new things again and then i usually get a step forward.

    Here is a small story of our new young “runaway” mare
    ——————————————————————-
    I have a time lately to observe the integration of a new member in the herd. My herd has 6 members and they know each other, their places and responsibilities well. One month ago a young mare of two years, keep running away from her home in the village to my herd. She ran away as her mother got a new foal and the owner had “parked” her in another location alone so she would ofcourse try to run away. She had as a foal passed our herd with her mother as the farmer rode his mountain farm. She remembered that and came running over. She would make alot of fuss outside the fence and my herd alot on the inside of the fence. We would take her rope and tie her until the owner came, but the next day she was back again making a fuss at the fence. So we figured if we do not integrate them we would have to fix alot of fences….
    Next time she came, we decided she should stay with us, even we really did not have any plans to increas the number of horses. We placed her in a smaller area where she could learn to respect the fence alone and look at the herd from a small distance. The herd could look at her and walk by and they could start talking to each other more, but still with a distance.
    The reason we did not place them altogether is that our main pasture is very hilly and it would not be a good area for a new young horse to run around in if she did not have time to get to know the area and the other horses first in the tempo she would choose herself.
    By now we had named her Gaia (which means mother earth in greek) and Gaia learned to respect the fence and after 3 days we decided to let her spend time with the lead mare. I had also meanwhile found her owner in the village and agreed with him that she could just stay as she would run back to us anyway, the farmer was happy about that as he had enough with his mare and the new foal for the time. His friend had tried to take care of Gaia, but as he only had a few donkey experiences and was afraid of her and Gaia would anyway get loose from her rope and run over to us.
    Our lead mare is a very good teacher and started to teach Gaia some manners, she is strickt, proud, intelligent but very fare. After a 5-6 days with the lead mare leading Gaia from behind, Gaia had learned some new manners and was allowed to stand closer to the lead mare. Then we introduced one and one more of the herd and the lead mare would continue to teach Gaia manners and she would protect her from the others in the herd if there was any rudeness.
    We have some video clips from this we will put together, it has been very interesting to see the integration and this week one month later Gaia can stand close with the herd. The herd kept her on a distance, the lead mare made sure the training of the new member was fair and it took one month.
    Gaia only knew her mother so she needed to learn alot about working in a group, respect, manners. We will now give her some more time to fully integrate and develop the friend ship with the youngest mare of two years before we start with the waterhole rituals to connect with her.
    We are learning alot from her as she “asks” us many new questions we have to find the answers to and she also ask about so many things that is “obvious” but not at all for her.

    Sun from St. Vincent Stina

  7. 27
    Kerrie Stepnick says:

    Carolyn, hello:

    Well I think this kind of fits with this theme – you will recall I had trouble awhile ago with Capricho, and you said you never take a horse where he doesn’t want to go, that if you found yourself in a spot you would lead him.

    Recently I’ve been riding with others and have found Capricho to be happy and spirited about exploring the world around us. Today by chance the person I planned to ride with became sick, and I found us saddled up and ready but alone. With your advice in mind – to lead him if anything spooked him – we went to the far side of the village and then up the trail to the mountains, where I’ve been longing to take him. He was all jolly until the trail was blocked by someone’s construction site, and he was obviously afraid and came to a stop. I took the opportunity to pretend I was the one deciding to turn around, but then he was surprised to find himself going down hill on a now unrecognizable trail, and stopped a bit. After a patient minute of waiting for him to go ahead, I decided to just dismount and lead him. He eagerly followed me, and I guess he just needed my leadership at that moment.

    Then it happened again – we got into a dead end, turned around, only to be faced with some very aggressive dogs barking from a property above us. Once again, instead of pressing him, I got off and led him. He very cheerfully walked heart to heart beside me through the peril of it all.

    Once we got back to our house (a half block from his pasture) – which is a place he is used to getting carrots and watermelon – I tied him outside and went in for treats. Lately no matter how yummy the treats I may bring him, he has not nickered when I come outside the house.

    FINALLY! When I came out this afternoon, he loudly nickered at me! He has not done this for a couple of months, carrots or not. So I went back in again for a minute to see if it would happen again – and YES! He gave something between a nicker and a whinny to me when I walked out the door!

    I’m the happiest girl in town.

    So I think that has to do with showing him leadership instead of making demands. He also seemed very responsive after the leadership reversal incidents.

  8. 26
    Cris Lindsay says:

    Hi Cris,

    This sounds very interesting! I think you should put this question to Carolyn Resnicks blog!!!! It might be very good discussion!!

    In fact it might fit in beautifully with the current posting….http://www.carolynresnickblog.com/changing-leadership-positions/

    To add your info, scroll to the bottom of the form and repost this entire note. We will have to approve the first posting, but after that you will be in the discussion.

    Best to you!
    Tessa

    On 7 April 2010 12:25, wrote:

    Hi Mark,
    Thank you so much for including me in your newsletter, I look forward to reading what is going on all over the world.
    My name is Cris Lindsay and I live in Virginia. I am certified through Ariana Strozzi’s program as an Equine Guided Educator.
    I am in the process of developing programs in the area of addiction. My inquiry is if there are discussions about the line between horsemanship and Equine Facilitated programs that help people.An example may be doing an exercise like “Leading in hand” and the horse starts to push boundaries…great learning for the person but will that convey on a horsemanship level. If I partner with my horse to respect my boundaries and then allow her to push others, will that create bad habits?
    My guess is that the horse will respond to each person individually but I thought maybe the community may have some input.
    I am wanting to utilize horsemanship ideas within the framework of my program AND I don’t want to create bad habits in my horses.Just checking in with you to see if that has come up for anyone.
    Thanks for your time and enjoy the Spring!!
    sincerely,
    Cris

  9. 25
    Anna-Karin Hägglund says:

    Hi,
    thank you for the clarify about the leadership. It made it much easier to understand when the horse lead and when I lead. My horses will have “no fault insurance” and it feels so good.

    Anna-Karin

  10. 24
    Patti G. says:

    I read your blog, Carolyn, then went out & did some of the WHR’s. My 3 horses each are responding to this.
    They all will follow me at liberty after we “connect”. We are in an outdoor arena, so not really at liberty, but it is a start.
    I am reading the UE exercise blogs, & getting prepared to start those soon.
    I can only thank you, for all the good suggestions & perceptions.

  11. 23
    Ang Green says:

    Thanks Carolyn, you always give me something to new to think about.

    Ang.

  12. 22
    Jan says:

    Hi Carolyn,

    Thank you for taking more time to clarify the leading and following concept from the UE phone conversation. You said something during the call that really struck me. I’m paraphrasing your words according to how I heard what you said – the idea that horses like to interact, because their minds are otherwise not active. That hit me like a thunderbolt! A big revelation in terms of how to understand them which I had never considered. If you think that it’s important, would you expand on this topic further? It seems to be the answer to my question to myself “How can this be? ” when you talked about how the horse wants this (inter-species) connection as much as we do.
    I’m thinking of it like – they are in a continual state of “Empty Mind” when nothing is going on. This helps me to understand the meditative piece and how we are transported when we connect with them.
    Please feel free to correct my impressions.

    Thanks,

    Jan

  13. 21

    Dear Carolyn,

    What a great blog again! Nothing has had a greater effect on my relationship with Roscoe than not having an agenda and giving him the choice to do something or not do it. Because Roscoe now realizes that I will accept his decision, he does not have to get loud with me (he doesn’t have to act out). Another benefit of “allowing the horse to respond the way he chooses” is that I can relax because I don’t view things as a test of wills anymore.

    Thank you.

    Karin

  14. 20
    Dianne says:

    What a wonderful blog, and what wonderful posts. Nancy, I think you hit the nail on the head with “ask the horse she will tell you”. I have noticed that the more attuned to my horse I become, the more relaxed I become.

  15. 19
    Connie Huibregtse says:

    Hi Carolyn,

    For me, it is this blog that I anxiously await! It is beyond any horse magazine I receive:)! Thank you!

    Thank you also for giving clarification on the leadership roles and mentioning that “It is a common practice to make sure you follow though in getting a horse to do what you ask of him. The thinking here is that it will cause a problem where the horse will learn how to refuse your direction if you did not carry it through in getting what you want. However, this is not the focus of my Method.”

    I must say I have been wrestling with this idea, especially the closer we become through sharing territory, greeting, walking side by side and playing. I frequently hear the ‘add more pressure step by step at each ask that your horse doesn’t respond’ from the trainers that visit my barn –
    For instance, I can’t ride right now because of my herniated disc, but I have been told I should lunge Yowahtee at least 3-4 times a week. I was told that when he is on the lunge line and I ask for a different gait, if he doesn’t comply, I add more pressure by jiggling his nose, or snapping the whip, and if he still doesn’t comply it may require a bigger ask with the whip, etc…

    I also remember a trainer a few months back, telling my horse he was a brat because he would not ‘collect’ and do what was being asked of him when she was riding him. He is a paint horse, he is built downhill and I am learning dressage with him to strengthen and supple him, not to create a competition horse, nor do I believe in the locking them into a frame, especially when they are just learning. I was very upset about this and it made me question if I was doing the right thing by my horse. My intuition was sending in alarms.

    Yesterday, I lunged him and he does not like to be lunged to the right, but I am trying to help him strengthen and supple himself on that side by doing short fun sessions. Because I have been working with your methods from reading your book, blogs and watching the dvd, I could instantly sense when he desired to avoid this, because he would get rude and not let me step to that side of him. I remained calm and made it fun and we were able to work through it but I am thinking back on that situation, wondering if I should have or not, now having read this so timely message on your blog.

    I also was reminded of how much our horses sense our energies. I had spent the day with Yowahtee, sharing territory and having fun together, with no agenda…other than perhaps the lunging…ugh…we are getting so much closer, when he hears me call to him coming up the lane to the barn, he looks up and begins heading to the gate. It is so sweet to find him anxiously awaiting our time together. I was very relaxed and in the now until the end of our time together which was a few hours later, when another rider arrived, and began talking to me about an irritating recent rule at our barn. At the time, I was with Yowahtee and he was grazing on a long lead line with me…next to me, by choice. But as my friend and I were in this discussion, he moved away and I realized I had gotten keyed up while we were talking and he sensed it and desired to move away from it. When my friend went into the barn and I realized the dance that had happened, I apologized to my horse and told him I was working on trying to be able to stay in the now and with positive energy, even when ‘chaos’ comes around us…I instantly began deep breathing and settled back into a centered place, and he again moved right next to me to graze.

    It is so important to be aware of our inner selves, our energies and all that is around us in the moments. There are so many lessons. And you are truly leading me to improve my inner self as well as my relationships. I am becoming so much more aware of my own energies and in reflection can see how they even effected our riding together. I think I will be a better rider, not necessarily in my posture yet, but in my connection to Yowahtee, when the time come that I can be with him in that way and we can ride together.

    Yowahtee and I are so very happy to be able to be in your WHR class! It is exactly how I imagine life with a horse could be, and I am so glad to have found you and all of the wonderful people on this blog and in class…it is so refreshing compared to my introduction to the ‘horse world’ where the animals were there for the human demands not as individuals themselves. I had such a hard time grasping that and I was the odd one out with the hours I would spend just enjoying the wonderful horses and learning from them. Thank you!

    Connie

  16. 18
    sherry thomson says:

    Hi Carolyn,
    It is a very emotional time for me right now, I am helping a friend who has breast cancer and I myself am going through a legal issue with my ex- husband. I have to tell you my herd pulled me through this w-e with so much love, compassion and understanding that all I can say is we were family spending Easter together laughing, meditating, praying and just be extremely grateful for each other. I did a little spa thing for the 2 minis that are expecting, massage, facial, the works, they loved it ! they’re female after all ! After sharing such a wonderful time with my herd I can’t wait to give more to them and to myself. Thanks again for all of your guidance. Namaste Sherry
    Oh by the way a friend of mine brought her autistic boy to the farm and it was amazing Shiloh my filly really helped to bring out his spirit and connect emotionally I was so proud of her . His mother said that night he slept through the night for the first time ever.

  17. 17
    Nancy Proulx says:

    Hi Carolyn,
    For me it was the Arabian Times. I so loved my beautiful Arabian show horses. Thanks for reminding of me of my start also. That passion just came out of nowhere.

    I was just asked to hop on an acquintances horse the other day. The horse had a hard time balancing at the canter and the rider was hanging on the reins. I walked along side the horse, introduced my self to and asked her permission to ride her. I felt no anxiousness so I mounted. I asked for the canter at a place where I felt she was comfortable. She didn’t even react. Now years ago I would have reacted to this as being disrespectful. These days I look at it as miscommunication. I then proceded to just ask her to move forward with my weight on her at a trot. We walked , then I asked for the canter ,which she picked up right away. It was funny the owner watched and said to me. “everyone tells me things different to do” “I don’t know what is right” My reply was “ask the horse she will tell you”.

    Nancy Proulx

  18. 16

    “The Rituals are used to develop relationship but in no way ask for performance.”
    Hmm… this is a good one for me these days… Thought I’d left all the goals behind me, but then periodically they pop up again and I’m falling into the pitfall of being in the future instead of being in the ‘here and now’, asking for performance instead of being connected together. Very humbling… thanks Carolyn… ;-)

  19. 15
    Andrea Schwiegel says:

    Hello, Carolyn,
    what a fine thing natural leading is! Che finesse!! I’m so enthusiastic on how much I’m learning here on your blog and so much looking forward to the insider circle class. I want and will have to start all over again from the very beginning of sharing territory with my horse and enter in the spirit of the children’s play you so well described, this circling give and take, come and go on equal parts – two true dancers. Unfortunately a week ago I had an ugly accident and am still in hospital. So I had time to reflect on a lot of things and your last two posts gave a lot to reflect as well as my actual situation to be out of control of anything – it has healing effects on body and mind. And gave me time to start contacting some fellow class members of the insider circle.
    When we take a horse (as well as any other animal) and offer him our protection and a secure life we take over a great responsability to be able to fulfil his natural needs. It is a real commitment .
    My best to you and everybody
    Andrea

  20. 14
    Suzie says:

    Loved this post. Many thanks

  21. 13
    John Barry says:

    Carolyn,

    Thank you for the clarification. I look forward to assisting my wife, Leanna, and True in the upcoming insider circle class. True’s mom, AMA, gave a good example of swapping leadership with me earlier today when I picked her feet.

    I showed her the hoof pick and allowed her to return to eating from her hay bag, then asked for her left front. That was a no-go as far as she was concerned and she circled me, but stopped with her left rear cocked. I took the clue and asked for the back, which she lifted and held for me, then cocked the right rear when I finished. I shifted sides, picked the rear, then the front, and when I went back to the left front, AMA offered it without resistance. As it turned out, the rears were in greater need of cleaning, and we got the job done that I wanted to do in the order that she needed.

    A good way to share a connection with one of the herd before I had to leave town on business.

    John

  22. 12
    Stuart says:

    Thanks yet again Carolyn.
    Stuart

  23. 11

    Hi Carolyn,

    I am with Lisa Hill in that I look forward to these ‘conversations’ with you and others via your blog like you did your magazines!

    Once again you get to the essence–the heart of the matter–choice and clear boundaries are a combination to a very healthy relationship with every species. Thank you always for your insight and information.

    With love and appreciation,
    Connie

  24. 10
    Laurinda says:

    thank you Carolyn. That was so eloquent. it really spoke to my heart. I was especially touched when you spoke about the ‘dance’ at liberty being spontaneous not trained. that those magical moments of connection and celebration are never rehearsed. You know yours is one of those rare voices speaking for horses and helping those of us struggling against the nay sayers to find a better way. What you give of yourself is priceless.
    hugs.
    Laurinda

  25. 9
    Kerrie Stepnick says:

    Carolyn, great post, and I’m going to meditate on this.

    Thanks for encouraging us to liberate ourselves from lesser horsemanship – those rules about making horses mind no matter what. I’ve been forgetting that one, but need to continually remind myself.

    Diane, I loved your note about your horse backing up. Not so distantly or dramatically, Capricho also started backing up from a distance to me. Totally his idea!

  26. 8
    Stephanie Morse says:

    Carolyn

    What a wonderful post I got a lot out of the ‘clarifying of the rituals’.

    I must tell you this. Last post I told you about my young stallion who is rather stand-offish. With just a little sharing space, a few treats, and using the saying hello and waiting on him, he is getting very good about allowing the halter to be put on.

    Right now, the girls are in heat, so they go out in the day, the stallion stays in and the situation is reversed at night. It’s not that they are in the same pasture, but the turn-outs share some fences and they can get too close.

    Anyway, I get home and I allow the stallion to go out while I clean stalls, before feeding, and since I’m there, I can keep everyone from getting close on the fence lines. So last night, I got everyone else in, Monkey was in the front paddocks, I went out and called him and while he didn’t trot over, he immediately headed in my direction. I expected him to go in the barn, but he went around outside to the other end. I walked after him and we got up to the front, where I stopped and said come on over and waited. He cam over to me, I rubbed behind his ears and he allowed the halter. I was very happy. we are making great progress, thanks Carolyn.

  27. 7
    Lisa Hill says:

    Dear Carolyn,

    Just as you couldn’t wait for your horsemanship magizines to come in. I too, can’t wait for your blogs to come. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your love. expertise, insight, creativity and time with us. I’m so excited about starting to work on the WHR. I have your book and DVD and have started working with my OTTB Magnum. You are so right when you say never underestimate the power of the first ritual(Sharing Territory). At first I didn’t see any differences. But now each day I notice little things happening here and there that seem to have come like magic. With this study on the WHR and your insights explaining them. Wow, what an eye opener!
    Thanks Carolyn keep it coming, I’m eating it up!

  28. 6
    Diane Brooks says:

    Playing at liberty is so fun and it is interesting to see how the leadership changes. It’s really all part of the game. A few weeks ago I had been playing with Pico and when he got bored he left me and went to the door of the arena. I was insulted so I called after him. “Pico what’s wrong don’t you want to go riding now?” I had my hand up in the air waving to him in a beckoning motion, he was about 30 feet away, and he turned, looked at me and backed up all the way to me. It was very cool. I was thrilled that he wanted to join me again and found it funny that he chose to back up to return to me. So he was the leader when chose to leave and I was the leader when he returned.

  29. 5
    kate bremer says:

    Very interesting post. I hadn’t thought of the many nuances of leadership.
    I will chew on this one! Thanks!

  30. 4
    Ingrid Spikker says:

    When I lead my 18 month old youngster from behind he will move off for about thirty feet or so then stop, wait for me to pass his chest and then follow behind me. I see this as giving me the leadership position he prefers. He is not as flowing in his walk and is hesitant when I am behind, but keeps his ear and eye on me. Not like I’m threatening him, but more like it is a bit uncomfortable to him.

    He is a very good boy and we play allot. He will companion walk from both sides, walk and trot and sometimes we go from a walk to a bolting canter. He bucks and leaps, but still follows my lead. He loves to play tug of war with the tarp, pass the stick, we chase the ball and barrels, stomp on the tarp and generally have a blast together. I do not do any round pen work with him since I think he is to young and it’s over rated anyway. All I need to do is call him and he comes running. Show him the neck rope and he dives his nose into it.

    I do feel the need to use leading from behind sometimes though when he is reluctant to move away when I ask. He can be in your lap if you let him. Do you think it’s insulting to him when I do this? He really is very happy to please and so far has been a dream to train in everything that has been introduced to him. Do you think I should use another way to show him I do not appreciate his overly enthusiastic closeness? He will also try to take the lead out of my hand or put himself between me and the other horses when I want to work with them. Those are the times I feel the need to drive him away since it is rude and not appreciated by me.

  31. 3
    Regina Walter says:

    Dear Carolyn,

    Just as you said, I was always taught to never let the horse have the upper hand or he will surely learn to take advantage of you and learn to avoid your “commands”.

    You said “If you do not point it out to him that he did not follow your lead your horse will be unaware that he went against you. In this approach, the horse sees that you did not take his power of choice away from him, which strengthens the bond and the willingness.”

    This was just a breath of fresh air for me.

    Thank you!
    Regina

  32. 2
    Deb Peterson says:

    Thanks again Carolyn for breaking down the meaning behind the actions of the WHR, your information makes so much sense, and it is helping to create a deeper bond as time goes on with myself and Reba. You give me the permission to continue in a non forceful way and I appreciate it greatly!
    Deb

  33. 1
    Renee says:

    A great read for better understanding the switching of the leadership role, Thank you.

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