Creating a bond you can depend on.
Feb 23rd, 2010 by Carolyn Resnick Method
I have just got a new dog. It is a Lowchen; his coat is gray, he is one and a half years old and weights 14 pounds. He belonged to someone that was at Hap Hansen’s show barn, which is not too far from my ranch; I go there to work with a couple of students and their horses.
Someone had the dog at the barn, looking to find a new home for him. I played with him at the ranch for a while and decided to keep him. His name is Mojo and I can tell he doesn’t like his name, and won’t come when he is called. He runs the other way. When I catch the dog, I give him a treat and let him go. It fixed the problem in a hurry. It was so much fun watching him process his situation and then come running to me with exuberance for the treats.
Mojo, or whatever I will decide to call him is not house broken. I need to keep an eye on him because he will not ask to go out, so I take him out every two hours. When I do so he has a great game he plays with me. The previous owner must have put him back in the house as soon as he went potty. Mojo wants to stay outside and realizes that going potty should be avoided, because his experience tells him he can stay out as long as he doesn’t go potty. He pretends he is going to go and runs me all over the ranch, looking for the right spot. Every time he convinces me that the new place he pulled me to, is just right until we get there. He sniffs the ground as if he is in a hurry to go, then takes off to a new location pulling me along. He really loves this game!
I had him now for three days and yesterday I decided to re-school him. To do so I spent the day with him on this subject. I would take him out to go potty and hold him in one area. Well now, he did not like this at all, but that was the rule I gave him and I was prepared that he might hold out for a long time. I cleared my appointments and put my whole focus on the job of house breaking and potty training and bonding with my dog.
The first theory of house breaking is coming along nicely but took about 15 trips all day long and into the night. I am not a dog trainer, there might be an easier way, but I would not want to do it any different because it was fun and all that time we spent we got closer. My theory was that I would hold him in one spot outside, when I knew he needed to go potty, and give him about 10 minutes. Then, when he did not go, I would take him back into the house, and keep and eye on him. I took him out every hour.
Of course, he did not get it at first, because he was set in his ways, he knew to hold out as long as he could, but nature called and I won. When he went instead of taking him back into the house we went on an hour walk. From my approach, he learned to go potty first, because then we could go on a long walk. All day, yesterday, he held out as long as possible. But today when I took him out and held him in one area, he went right away and we took our long walk as a reward; this worked every time.
My focus is not on how to break him from a bad behavior but rather to focus on figuring out how to change his pattern of behavior into a new habit. I want to come up with a plan that, in a short time will let him see the reason he would like to change.
He is now taking a lot of my time and focus, as I get to know him and he adjusts to his new surroundings. I can tell you he is a lucky dog to have found me. All my ability to do what I have developed so far with my new pooch (that no one else wanted) came from what I achieved through communicating with horses using the Waterhole Rituals.
Practicing the Waterhole Rituals with horses taught me how to communicate with just about anything. The Rituals will do the same thing for you, if you enjoy the evolution of a bond, and working with a connection in the moment. Practicing with your horse will give you an ability to come up with a plan and theory of your own to communicate with your horse or with any creature, for that matter. You will learn how to work with any animal and bring out the behavior you want as well as the unexpected benefits. After a while, you can create a well-adjusted animal that you can depend upon. My new dog, whatever his name will be, knows that he can depend upon me and I know that one day I will be able to depend upon him.
I have a question you might enjoy answering…
The question for Tuesday’s blog: If you could have the perfect horse of your dreams, what would it be like? Describe it as a fantasy. Really, have some fun with it. The winner gets a DVD of their choice or a blog book.
Carolyn
P.S. I will be on a webcast this Thursday 25th February at 10am Pacific / 1pm Eastern / 6pm GMT / 7pm CET (Italy). This is an Italian web channel and I’ll be doing some in English and Alessandra will be doing the major part of it in Italian, so I hope you can drop by. The show will last an hour and you can find it at http://www.cavallomania.net. Arrivederci!
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My perfect horse … or should I say horses. I am spoiled for choice. I have 5 equine friends who happened into my life – all unique and special with their own stories and amazing personalities. From minature to draft – size doesn’t equate to position in the herd or relate to their ability to teach me new ways. Every day our friendship grows and my knowledge changes. Its taken me a while, I have to admit, to really listen and understand the relationship. What have I been doing all these years? I am not sure what is right or wong with what I do technically, but when I am with my herd it just feels right. I guess that’s my dream horse (S).
Hello, I’ve learned I invented a new English verb
in my post #18: apport. What I meant was: fetch. Sorry!
Hear hear, Jan, I loved your post too.
Hi Carolyn, everybody!
the way you set up your text is very nice, Jan!
I see that most people learn so much from their hors(es) and every body sees and learns it in his own particular way. That’s so amazing, so rich!
It gives me a feeling that the horse-loving center based on respect, trust and deep friendship towards the horse in the horse language is expanding. You started a very special way, Carolyn! Congratulations!
Tine
Jan, I loved your post. Your insight is a lesson for all of us.
My dream horse, of course, would not be perfect. None of my horses have been really “perfect.” Instead, each with their imperfections and quirks lead me to seek solutions to their specialties. If not for Secret and our brief success, I would never had had the confidence to attempt to select my next horse on my own. Without Patrick I wouldn’t have pushed myself to learn eventing and leave college temporarily to ride under olympic quality instruction. Without Jackie I wouldn’t have ridden under Gabor Foltenyi who gave me a super foundation in dressage and then pushed me into learning TTEAM. Without Molly’s impetuousness I would never have been able to handle Harry in the start box. Without Harry I may never have gone advanced level. Without Harry’s metabolic trouble I may not have been pushed to do bridleless jumping exhibitions. Without Harry I would have been able to ride through Magic’s craziness. Without learning to handle Magic’s craziness, I never would have been able to handle Xcel’s insanity. Without Xcel’s insanity, I would not have looked for and found Carolyn Resnick’s Liberty Training.
All of these horses and many others have pushed me to learn new things. I never got the olympic level horse. What I got was better!
Jan
I am delighted for you, Carolyn, on your new family member. I have to confess that I’d never heard of a Lowchen and so I “googled” it and found this lovely picture and description at: http://www.akc.org/breeds/lowchen/index.cfm – and from my perspective, he’s one lucky little fella to have you
Maybe next time you might share with us some more of his personality traits and solicit name suggestions. I enjoyed your piece 3DEC09 where you shared that one of your junior riders, Libby, suggested the name “Uberstreichen Exercises” for your inventive exercises.
If I were to describe my fantasy, perfect horse before I met Cookie, my dream horse would have lovely confirmation, easy gaits, and willing, intelligent and forgiving nature. A bee-utiful horse with a babydoll head and deep, wide-set and gentle eyes, that twinkle with a sense of fun and adventure… tight tiny ears up and head swinging my way in welcoming posture, all framed with a long, flowing mane, forelock and tail – a breath-taking beauty. While I still dreamed of a bee-utiful fantasy horse, in my heart of hearts, the relationship between me and my fantasy horse began to dominated my thoughts; a horse who would look for me; leave the company of the herd, seeking, preferring to be with me; while also be my gentle teacher and loyal, loving devoted friend.….qualities that would suit ME.
I wonder what Cookie would say HER fantasy human would be.
How did I know? I DON’t know ! I just knew.
My perfect, fantasy Two-Legged Strange Horse (TLSH) would either know, or learn how to speak “horse”; have good common “horse sense,” be a good horse LISTENER, be either a good leader, or a kind push-over . . . you know, one easily hypnotized into giving plenty of sweet treats, carrots, apples and such. Speaking of which, since these creatures have a propensity for sitting on our backs, my fantasy TLSH wouldn’t be heavy, otherwise, how my perfect TLSH looks is irrelevant. My TLSH would know, or learn how to, sit still on my back, not yank on my head, or worse, jerk on my mouth; and would know when to get OFF my back! My TLSH would NOT put ill-fitting or torture devices on my head, in my mouth, my feet, or upon my back, or scare or hurt me in any way. Further, my TLSH will guard me, to make SURE that any other TLSH that touches me, for whatever reason, does so with gentle horse-intelligent kindness. My fantasy TLSH would be consistently entertaining, creative in the activities we do, and attentive when just hanging out together.
My fantasy TLSH would see to it that I had plenty of amiable herd members, a large…no, make that HUGE pasture with a lovely mix of meadows, trees and running water….NO PREDATORS !! My TLSH would feed me a healthy diet (not counting treats, of course), and take good care of my coat and feet.
I knew by the look in her eye, and I could feel it when she looked into my eyes, we both saw straight into each others hearts. I could see, hear and feel her delight. She looked past my dull, dingy, worn out winter coat. I could feel gentle respect in her first “hello”. I could feel it in her soft touch. I knew she saw past my bucking misbehavior, my weight, my jarring trot, my awkwardness, and saw into our future.
I am struck dumb…I was chosen by Cookie…my anam cara – and six years later, I fall in love all over again daily with my bright-eyed, completely adorable real-life huggable fantasy horse, Cookie.
Cookie owns my heart.
Footnote: I find it totally delightful that so many also share that they have/had their fantasy-in-the-flesh anam cara horse(s) – how fortunate we are.
Anam Cara – The Friend of Your Soul…. refers to the Celtic spiritual belief of souls connecting and bonding. See: http://justagirlintheworld.com/anam-cara-the-friend-of-your-soul/
Congratulations with your new friend. He is lucky to have you, wish you all the best together.
My dreamhorse…..
He is not anymore in real life. My old friend have learned me the true horsemanship. He had at those times, the patience to learn me all about the horseworld, behavior, happyness, playtime, how to ride, enjoy each other during grooming and for all just be there standing next to eachother and hear the sillence (for so far it is possible over here in the Netherlads, there is always noise) Looking over the wide fields, water and smell the fresh air.
Long walks in the woods, eating fresh grass, just enjoy life and share the feeling of freedom.
He is still here with me in my mind…….
I just realized I could send you a link to the painting mentioned in my blog comment in blog #50 below.
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30391205&l=34dfd50555&id=1230447249
Enjoy!
Connie