Excerpt From My Upcoming Book
Aug 12th, 2010 by Carolyn Resnick Method
WORKING WITH THE WATERHOLE RITUALS: RULES AND GUIDELINES
As we go along, you will learn many ways in which your approach can affect the relationship you share with a horse. The rules of your behavior will change according to whether your horse approaches you, or you approach your horse.
The rules for working at liberty to bring about a true instinct in a horse to want to bond and stay with you are:
- If the horse does not like the direction that he is given, he goes away, signaling you to stop your interactio
- To reconnect, you must seek permission to enter the horse’s personal space through the Hello Ceremony.
- If the horse objects by walking or running away from you, you must then go away, giving the horse time to naturally choose to reconnect.
- When you direct a horse when you are in his personal space, it should always be a request, and if he doesn’t respond to it, you drop the subject and walk away.
- If a horse walks up to you and steps into your personal space you can be more assertive
- If you are too assertive, your horse will leave you and you must not pursue him, but focus on developing back his willingness. When you approach a horse, you have entered his territory, thus, you must respect his wishes. However, when a horse comes up to you, the rules change, and he will be much more willing to accept your leadership and respect your wishes.
- You work with the tendencies of the horse only.
Communicating with horses in this manner brings about magical results. These laws I have found to be a universal formula to the success in any relationship. It is the formula of the dance between consenting partners that keeps a relationship alive.
Remember: this weekend, watch out for New Horse and New Human Sightings. I found the picture for the sighting I told you about sometime ago. This weekend, I plan to have another spotting. Have a great weekend.
Carolyn
Related posts:
Hi Carolyn
holidays are almost finished and I’m looking for a regular life after these 2 months. I tried to work under the sea with the horses by adapting my movements being bigger and slower. One of the horses reacted immediatly very well, befor I almost had to push him to move but by this he becomes soft and sweet. I’m making sure that he sees that I know myself how I’m moving. Thank you Carolyn for helping me to solve this with that horse!
Since a couple of weeks I try to work with the energy in the first ritual. Instead of thinking and handling in a way of:’ this is my space, don’t push me’, I don’t pay attention to the body of the horse but at the space around his body, the energy around his body and I direct my movements to this space. This works very well.
I’m looking forward to your new book and to keep on going on the path of the horse with you.
tine
Thank you Carolyn for encouraging us to become the new human so that the horse can be.
Hi Carolyn,
I recently read your book and am currently re-reading it. I also purchased the Waterhole Rituals DVD. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
I am hoping to develop a more trusting relationship with my horses. My warmblood mare, especially. She becomes fearfull when she is away from her herd or in a new territory. Within the herd, she is rather dominant. But away from the herd, she becomes very tense and explosive. I would describe it as an almost panic-like response.
I have been doing the waterhole rituals with her for about 2 weeks now. I board about an hour away so I only get to see her about twice a week. We are up to the sixth ritual, and she will walk with me no problem. But whenever I try to walk away from the herd, she stops and won’t follow (I am working with her in the pasture because that is the only place she is relaxed). I guess I am wondering if she is supposed to accept and trust me as a leader at this point (in which case I am doing something wrong) or whether it will likely take much longer?
Thanks!
Dear Alene,
I would like to suggest you that join in on the next Insider Circle class. This way you would learn all the little points that are so important to know about how to handle your horse on your journey with the Waterhole Rituals. My Method is very different than other methods in its approach.
To answer your question. Do not ask her to go any place she will not go comfortably. Evolution with cause your horse to want to increase her range especially if when she goes further away there is a bucket of food that is waiting for her.
Work with what she is willing to do and as you go along she will add more to her own program. Take the time to let the trust develop.
Hope this is of help
Hi Carolyn,
Just wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for everything I learned through the Insider’s Circle program. Things have “clicked” recently with me and Raffin and we’re both starting to have fun! We’ve been doing lots of leading from behind, with halts and waits….he’s quite keen to figure out how to get the carrots.
He enjoys being stroked now, which he didn’t before….he’d usually walk away. In general he seems more trusting and I feel more confident because I have a better understanding of horses and their behaviour.
I’m looking forward to your book with more of your insights and wisdom about horses and life itself.
Thanks,
Dyann
Hello Carolyn,
I recently got your Liberty Training DVD, and I enjoy it a lot. I, too, am looking forward to you new book. I think all your material should be required reading for horse owners. I love your method and I use concepts from it every day with human to human interactions, and with Elmo, too. Oh, please continue sharing your methods.
Have you ever noticed how the solution to some intractible problem seems perfectly obvious once someone has pointed out the answer? I feel that way about your methods, and particularly about the guidelines you articulated in this excerpt from your new book, which promises to be a national treasure. Once someone slips into the mindset of creating only (or mostly) voluntary interactions with their horses, the most magical things happen.
I live in Florida where July and August are hot and unpleasant and this summer has been particularly uncomfortable. I have not ridden for almost two months, but two days ago I got the urge. I summoned Z from pasture and saddled him at liberty. Then for the first time ever, I did a pre-ride warm-up derived entirely from your waterhole rituals. We went into a small grassy arena and shared territory for about ten minutes. He stood by me just looking around. When he finally moved away to graze, I got up and started moving him from behind until he was stopping pretty much in time with me. I let him graze a bit, then walked away and he trotted up to catch up and just volunteered some light and animated companion walking, so I went with it, doing a lot of turns and fast walking which caused him to trot and even canter a stride or two when I made quick turns to the left.
I thought I had detected some slight discomfort about wearing the saddle when I put it on, just a feeling, nothing overt. But when I tightened the girth after a few minutes of playing at speed on the ground, I could feel he was comfortable and ready to ride. He took his position next to the mounting block even before I asked him to.
I put on his halter and got on his back. He stood immobile and relaxed to a count of 100, then stepped off lightly when I cued him with my seat. My plan was to stay at a walk for this first ride since the day was getting hot fast, but Z was feeling good. He kept offering a trot or, once or twice, a canter. But it was in a relaxed, playful way, not out of tension. He always came back to a walk in a stride or two when my seat did not follow him, I never had to pick up the reins. The spring in his step and animation in his mind, the whole connection, was something new and thrilling.
Today I repeated the whole routine and it was the same wonderful sense of rightness between us. But this time I let him trot when he offered it and posted along without saying a word, allowing him the discretion to come back to a walk when he wanted to. To my surprise, when he realized he was calling the shots on gait (although I was still directing him where to go) he began to come out of the trot after maybe 10 to 20 strides, walk a while, then trot again. I had the sense he was feeling out his own balance under saddle. I just concentrated on keeping myself centered and balanced and let him decide when and how long to maintain the trot. This was a “new human” sighting. I do not know if it was proper to turn over the reins to him, so to speak, but it felt right. When we left the arena to take a cool-off walk around the farm, he was completely relaxed and level-headed, not flinching even when a gang of wild turkeys burst out of a wooded area and ran across the road practically under his gray TB nose.
Dear Carolyn,
There is a New Horse in my life. The reason is that the New Human arrived.
Folly has yet to give me her whole heart, but we have found much common ground. Despite my mistakes, she knows I am consistent in ways that matter to her.
My one-sided overtures to her have become a conversation in which I ask and she answers, and neither of us is particularly upset if we do not immediately see eye to eye about the day’s activities.
I have learned that when she says “no thanks”, there is always another question I can ask that will result in a “yes”, and it is the “yes” I now seek, not the goal I thought about achieving when I got up today. Sometimes I get from her a “may I?” or a “shall we?”, and those are the best days of all.
When and how did this happen? Every time I ask this question, I find the same answer – she began to change when I did.
My understanding of the horse mind, and the horse culture, began with Naked Liberty. My own transformation has been supported by you, through the WRIC course, and continues with every blog post from you. I cannot find the words to thank you enough for what you have given me.
Peace and blessings,
Bonnie
Dear Bonnie,
Thank you for your kind words and letting me know what benefit you got from The Insider Circle program, and my blogs.
You have put into words how to brings the magic alive that brings the dance alive .
In my poem that is in Naked Liberty I wrote- We speak as clearly as the wind with allow. that is what you now know. I hope everyone reads your letter. I think it will help people to know better what it is that I am helping them to achieve.
Thank you,
Carolyn
Carolyn, your response is very gratifying to me, as your method is life-changing for me and my horses. They are saying yes to the New Human because they are understood at last. Thank you for teaching me their language.
In joy,
Bonnie
“I have learned that when she says “no thanks”, there is always another question I can ask that will result in a “yes”, and it is the “yes” I now seek, not the goal I thought about achieving when I got up today.”
Thank you Bonnie, beautifully put, this is so true!
I can just agree with you Bonnie!
Dear Carolyn,
I agree with many of the others who have already posted. I can’t wait for your new book to come out.
I read and study your materials every day and glean more and more from them between my study and my practice of them with Gunny.
I just wanted to check in and say thanks everything.
~Holly
Thank you for checking in.
Dear Carolyn
Thanks for the instructions and looking out to the new book, cant wait.
This week i did the companion weeling again with Fullmoon, and he is loving it.
lots of love
Monique and FullMoon
Carolyn!
I just had to share this with you!
Yowahtee and I companion trotted today and it was soooo much FUN! We did inside and outside circles and weavings in the indoor arena. There was so much wonderful energy surrounding us, I think we were both beaming. I know my smile was at least from ear to ear and JOY was bubbling out of my eyes! What an incredible day for us! His trot was so beautiful too, as I was by his shoulder, he stretched his neck up so he could see me well while we were moving together.
(Yowahtee is the black and white paint in the video I sent for the last Monday night call. We companion walked in the video. You have loved to see us today because there was so much zip and energy when we were moving together. I’m still on cloud nine:))
Hi Carolyn
Like all the others, I anxiously await the new book. I amd going to e-mail the ‘rules’ in this post, and your answer about ‘new horse sightings’ to my friends.
I hope they realize the importance of both.
I read all you blog posts but might not reply if I feel I have nothing of importance to say, but your post #7 makes me feel I should at least leave a hello for you, and I will, from now on.
I hope you know how absolutely wonderful your training methods are, and how filled with hope they make people like me.
OH, I do have one question. A few blogs ago, you mentioned how you were working for a trainer and there was a horse that made you uncomfortable, it was the looking with one eye post, I wonder, would you mind blogging on how it felt for you as a young trainer working for others? Was your method still in the developmental stages? How could you do what the trainer wanted you to and still keep your focus? If that makes any sense at all.
Anyway, I’d love to hear about more of your experiences with the trainers you worked with in the early days.
Hello Carolyn,
I too am looking forward to having your new book and to continue learning with you. I also would like to purchase the Marilyn and Lucero-videos, if possible.
What I learned through the IC is simply priceless and even if I wasn’t able to be always present in the calls and was a bit handicapped in practising a lot with Clarence due to my accident, I had shortly before the class started, there has been a huge change in both of us, my horse and me. She was food-aggressive and now I can walk with a food-bucket beside her and she would wait until I give the food to her.
Today I had a real highlight. I just came for a short visit just to say hello when she came at once to me and we companion-walked for the first time in real magic connection. I could feel the glue, she sticked to me any direction I took, even if she was on the field with her new boyfriend, she’s in love with. Actually he came with us. So we walked, the three of us, at least for 15 minutes or more. It was the first time, it happened so spontanously-just magic!
As I still have to cover one eye when I interact with my horse, because I see double, I was just wondering, if looking at the horse with only one eye could have some problem with the saying-hello-ritual. Not with my horse, as I already have a relationship with her, but maybe with new horses. I remember that when a horse is not ready for “hello”, it turns his fead slightly looking suspiciously with only one eye, because not trusting.
Maybe me looking at them with one eye only has the same effect?? But my body signals “hello”, anyway.
So again thank you for everything so far and for sharing your great experience with us.
In Italy we use to hug a lot, so I permit myself to send you a big friendly embrace and another one for Alessandra.
Andrea
Your blog continues to feed the New Human soul of me. I have been riding and working with Micah, my 4 yr old who didn’t want to leave his buddy. 5 days in a row I rode him and also took him to eat grass. Even though I rode him 5 days in a row, The New Horse in Micah came running to me when he saw me coming to the barn That made me very happy. I also look forward to your new book.
Thank you for sharing with us!
Regina
I look for your blogs every day, and all the responses.
I am truly blessed to watch you in person and see how you connect with even the shyest of horses and have them eating out of the palm of your hands. You have given me so much comfort just knowing that any horses can have a chance of being understood, can be comfortable being around humans, and things. Being able to breath, even to be Vetted. I can not express in words the joy I feel knowing my horse is feeling the love, concern for her comfort to live in her own skin. The transformation may seem small in most peoples eyes, but it is huge in mine. But most important to my horse. You have opened up a whole new world for my horse, and I thank-you. You have got my attention and a life long student , please keep writing and sharing your knowledge.
Thank you
Lynne
Having not had the opportunity to take the course, I am eagerly awaiting the new book! I have been working with my gelding and the change in his behavior is astounding! I can’t even imagine what he would be like if I actually KNEW what I was doing! When can we expect the book and will you ever do another WHR class?
Hi Carolyn, I can’t wait for the book to come out. I have the funny feeling that it ‘d be one of the most innovative books on horses I’ll read. @8, I have the same question, my horse had a wound and although she did trust me while I was gentile with it, but she hated the fact that I had to use a spray on it, for some reason she was terrified by it, and no way I could tell her it wouldn’t harm her. I did, however, notice how she is much more responsive since I practise the whrs every now and then.
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you for the book excerpt. What a wonderful list to measure how my interactions are going with my horses.
I have two horses. One is a very laid back Fjord; stoic to a fault, and the other is a very energetic and playful Mustang/Quarter horse cross.
A few months ago I started playing with both exclusively at liberty and WOW, have I learned a lot.
When I first started at liberty, both horses chose to leave more than stay. Now, they both crave to be with me, and engage at every opportunity. I learned that I had to develop my “draw” much more.
I’ve been teaching my Mustang to “fetch” a ball, and the other day he grabbed a stick and tried to engage me. I also am able to “vet” (care for) each of my horses in a more timely fashion, because they have so much more trust in me.
Thank you Carolyn. I am always taking things I learn from your Blog and adding them to my horsemanship skills.
Toni
Dearest Carolyn,
My experience with you has filled me up, so much so that it is all I could do to get caught up after working with you for those 31/2 months this summer. I am bursting with enthusiasm for this work and the result it is producing is astounding me. Even in one session of me working with someone’s horse, there is a tremendous change. Yesterday I think the client was so shocked she couldn’t even comment, she was just literally in shock. The results even shock and surprise me sometimes, meaning I try not to have an outcome in mind, I just work in the present moment and take in the feedback I am receiving from the horse and see what happens, in doing this I usually find that there is an opening for a New horse to appear.
Sebastian and I thank you. We are well.
I am eternally grateful to you and look forward to our next visit
Hi Carolyn,
Thank you for the excerpt from your book. I feel much more connected with my horses after having taken your WRIC course recently.
I never thought my horses would be approaching me so much to interact. I almost forget how it used to be. Not that they went away but they didn’t walk towards me with such enthusiasm like they do now. It is wonderful to be able to have choices as horse or human. Many horses are not given choices and I’m so pleased that I have scratched the surface of your methods so that I am able to allow my horses choices.
Looking forward to reading more and seeing more about your methods.
Hi Carolyn
after a month absence I found out that the bond with my horses was still very deep. What a pleasure!
Comming back from holiday, I went to see them at night. They all came to greet me. The next morning, the leader came up to me and he was so sweet and gentle as if I was his best girl-friend. Really heartwarming!
After a while I picked up the dance again and it was as if we’ve never been seperated.
It gives me trust that this way is THE way to approach horses!
Thanks
tine
I also am looking forward to your new book. Everything you say is magical and inspiring. I hear your wise words when I am with my horses you are my inner voice. My daughter and I sat on the ramp of our trailer yesterday with hay all around. Our sheep loved running up one way end out the other way clattering and banging as they went. The ex racehorse, not mine, is very scared of loading and has been forced into lorries in the past could not resist the fun we were having. She approached with interest and after moving away twice she began tentatively nibbling the hay and getting closer. I fed her on the ramp with my arms around her feed bucket and she relaxed beautifully, her long relaxed exhale covered me in feed!!:) ha! ha! The look on her face was amazing when we closed up the trailer and left her in her paddock. “What? you don’t want me to go in there?” I think she will love us coming back today and opening the trailer. We will see.
Hi Carolyn, like the others I’m so looking forward to your new book! This excerpt is very promising, as always
.
I just came back from playing with my mare Kría, the one that didn’t want to have very much to do with me a few months back. Now she seems like a completely different horse… When I come to my horses she always comes up to see me and ‘help’ me poop scooping. After that we do some playful work; today we spent a lot of time Leading from Behind, because I thought she was getting a bit too ‘sticky’. She’s getting more relaxed in LfB every time, so I can little by little start leading her in certain directions (which was impossible at first).
. Because her gas pedal was so vibrant, I decided to stir it up a little more by taking my bike and riding fast along the fence in the other direction. She galloped with me at the other side of the fence to the end of the street, it was so much fun! I gave her a big treat for that.
When we were finished and I left for the gate she trotted after me, she just didn’t want me to leave
I can still hardly imagine how Kría has changed over the last few months…
Is this what you mean by a ‘New Horse Sighting’?
Dear Marja,
A new horse sighting is when we witness a horse that does something out of charter from his own free will that is magical like wanting to play with you along the fence. You are the new human and your horse is the new horse because you interact with one another in a new fashion.
Horses have always been made to do what man has wanted. They have had little practice in free choice with humans so they are not yet developed in knowing how to connect with humans to lead the way to a true relationship with us. As they have more practice a new horse behavior will emerge.
Once a horse sees humans as family members he can interact with and not get roped into doing something he does not want to do from the friendship he as developed we get to see the true nature of horses.
As more time goes on sharing a true relationship between man and horse a new error is born. When a horse can control the connection the horse will develop there ability more and more to show us there depth for a true cross spice bond. one must consider the way to get to a magical connection with a horse is magically and with the code of conduct that is universal.
What creates the new error and new horse sightings is when horses fear us no more and there is a spontaneous out break in connection that is almost shocking or unexpected.
Humans will interact with a horse in new ways and the horse will respond with new ways and the horses will fear us no more.
Hello Carolyn
I am wondering about a thing! When being with your horse in this very respectful way (as I always try to do) how to transit over to the state where it IS I who make decisions? Lets say to tend a wound, or needing to do something NOW not in half an hour (for the horses sake I mean, if it is ME who just wants something I can wait as long as it takes,) but when you REALLY NEED to keep them still and staying put to do something like tending a hurt or something else.
I have a very close connection to both of mine mostly, but some things they prefer to try avoiding how ever gaily they neigh and run towards me when I get into their line of sight and I haven’t yet gotten to them thinking everything is okay just because it’s me who wants to do it…
Right now I usually ask the horse to submit to my judgements by asking them to put their head in the halter, I then try to convey what is about to happen and then I do it. I usually try having my horses at liberty for everything but some things we do not agree on is necessary (like sprays or some days not even picking of feet) and some days one does not have the patience to discuss it but just need to do it, some times it is also absolutely necessary that the horse submits to things (in case of hurts etc). Please elaborate on this either here or in a new blog post!
IN short:
The transit from you are free and I will respect your wishes to I do respect your opinion but I need to do this now kind of;-)
Ulrika in Sweden
To everyone that has left me a message I want to thank you. You appreciation makes it worth while and inspires me to look with in myself to bring more understanding of the magic we share with horses.
I am truly feed through appreciation. The appreciation you send to me gives me the strength and courage to continue and try to get all my methods in books. I am very lucky to have your support. I look for your comments every day even with I have so may horses to connect with in a day, your comments are always appreciated and I read everyone.
Carolyn
Carolyn,
Your ability to help us better understand the waterhole rituals and how to apply them continues to be both fresh, inspiring and beautiful with each new addition to your learning library, like new flowers born anew with each season in a wild meadow.
The student is ready….
Such a nice appetizer to your book. I am looking forward to it very much! I have read Naked Liberty and your blog book twice each already and they will likely get a third read! I am certain your new book will be just as fascinating, especially after just completing the online class with you.
I wanted to share with you that my riding instructor has decided to stop teaching. He is young and in college but an excellent rider. You may remember that I didn’t ride for 6 months while I was taking your course because of a cervical disk herniation. He told me he needed to focus back on his college studies and give up training riders and horses other than his own.
Each week during our class, I shared with him what I was learning in my course with you, from your blogs, book and videos while he rode my horse, Yowahtee, to give him some exercise. He was very skeptical at first and played the devil’s advocate, but he did listen and I can tell it opened something in him as well.
He paid you a very big compliment when he said that your class made a tremendous difference in me and he was so surprised at how much my riding had improved with Yowahtee after not riding for 6 months and learning your methods with my horse. He said that it was the most difficult to tell me of his decision to stop teaching because he was having so much fun seeing this change in us each week. He knows that I credit it all to what I have learned from you and the deep bond of connection and communication that I am building with my horse with your guidance. It is truly amazing, I knew it was wonderful being with him at liberty on the ground, but I didn’t have any idea how beautifully it would translate into our riding relationship. We don’t ride often, but we ride when it is right with both of us. We are building a priceless relationship. Thank you!
I am so excited to continue learning with you.
Thank you for writing another book and sharing your knowledge. I am anxiously awaiting my copy:).
yes, carolyn. this was clear and very succinct. It affirmed what transpired this morning between Silver and me this morning. Thank you!!
Deborah
will be delighted to see the book but really want to come to San diego!
Fantastic! I’m so looking forward to the new book! Very exciting stuff.
I agree with Stina. I can’t wait!
thank you….
very well and clear written, i am looking forward the book coming!