Eye Contact Solution
Aug 5th, 2010 by Carolyn Resnick Method
Little Known Precursors to Aggressive Behavior in Fearful Horses, and How to Deal with Them.
I was watching Animal Planet with Victory Stilwell. She mentioned something about a little known fact about dog behavior. I thought I heard her say that a dog that will roll over on his back as a submission gesture in the future will surely bite you.
I started thinking of the things that most horse professionals do not know about horses. One of them is if a horse tries to look at you with only one eye with a stiffness in his body, he does not trust you. It is a fearful as well as an aggressive stance, and it comes with strong threat in the future to the person the horse responds to in this way.
The horse that will look at you with one eye or will switch his head around back and forth looking at you from one eye to the other may follow this behavior with biting, charging, kicking or striking at a later time, when you might least expect it.
Years ago, I had to clean out stalls as an every day chore when I was apprenticing with Gladys Foster, a top Western Pleasure trainer and competitor. When I would go to clean her top mare Chubs Melody’s stall, she would look at me with one eye. I always respected that, and would take her from her stall and then clean it, because I did not feel safe sharing a stall with her. Gladys would be annoyed that I would take the extra time it would take to more her. I told her of my feelings and she thought I was being too cautious. The mare never did anything aggressive while I was there, but, one day, she did attack Gladys in her stall, and hurt her badly.
So, what to do to avoid this happening, and how to create a better attitude with a horse that is feeling “on the muscle”?
After I have developed more trust and likeability through Sharing Territory as well as practicing the Saying Hello Ritual, I then practice Leading from Behind, and then the horse is ready for the Eye Contact Ritual. This Ritual is what fixes the problem.
Remember: practice the Rituals like you would yoga exercises. This way, you can relax and put all of yourself into your efforts, and not be in a hurry, nor drill or force. Force can be created by moving too quickly in your communication with your horse. My method is relationship-based, so, by practicing the Rituals, you leave plenty of time for the horse to figure out what it is that you are wanting. This allows the natural evolution of the bond to catch up to the horse’s emotions and to weld the bond between you.
Insider Circle and In-a-Box students: I would like to point out to you that I have answered the last questions remaining on the Insider Circle section of the blog. The questions and the Youtube videos are still available for you to browse. Your future questions, however, should be submitted in the regular blog. From the answers that I have given, the class is now officially closed for my coaching, but you can always write to me on the blog. As usual, I will answer some of the questions that I read.
Again, the weekend is coming, and we are, again, watching out for New Horse and New Human sightings! One of my students took a large metal tub, turned it upside down and uses it as a place to rest inside her horse’s paddock. That was a New Human sighting on our ranch!
Have a wonderful weekend,
Carolyn
No related posts.
Very interesting blog, I enjoy reading it very much,
Stina
oh and i wanted to ad, after doing the rituals for some time now, i have been so happy to get the eye contact, it feels like my horses just look right into my heart and it just feels sooo good
oh, I haven´t done the rituals for so long time and it feels good so I just can imaging how it feels to you…and the good feelings make me going on with the rituals
Hi Carolyn,
I’ve watched your liberty training and waterhole ritual videos and I think they are very profound. I’ve been working the waterhole rituals with my two horses Marsan and Gingy and things are goind pretty good, but with Gingy I have a little dominance problem.
Here’s a summary of our second session:
I said hello to him and I had to spend a few seconds putting his head in a good position(meaning looking at me with both eyes), but what I finally arrived was less than what I wanted. I walked around the pen for a bit to reflect. Then I came backt to him and asked him to move in circles as I pushed his gas peddle. At first he was did well, but he started to push into me and he was unwilling to give me room to move. When I insisted a little bit more by not moving out of his way he walked off. I just stood there and he eventually came back, then I left him and came back to say hello. This is kind of how it went for awhile until I decided to use companion walking to move him over to another part of the corral that was more open. He didn’t like being asked to move in the area and repeatedly left to go back to where we began. I tried several different things like trailing him until he took notice of me, waiting until he established a home and occupying his home, and walking the other way when he left me. He seemed to respond best to when I trailed him asking for his attention because he did eventually give it to me. When I walked in the other direction that that his attention but the second time he payed it no heed. I ended asking quite firmly to do a figure eight in the corner of the corral, then I felt that I had to move it to the round pen and that is where he finally began to do what I asked with a nice expression. I fear that I have been to forceful with him and that I have given myself unfair advantages, but he has always been very dominant and clever and I don’t know what the most natural way to establish myself as the alpha is. It seems like if I don’t insist on things he will never respect and thus make no connection. When I share territory with him he likes to stand with me respectfully, so I took this to mean we could move forward. What am I missing?
Hi Carolyn I´m just checking in. This was an interesting post and all new to me. I will check it up with Ameri Kahn and Zaritsa. I think the both of them are looking at me with both eyes.
Thanks so much Carolyn for your suggestions. I will try them. They definitely fit with my intuition of what is needed.
Virginia
Dear Carolyn,
I am checking in and enjoyed this post–but missing the class.
Earlier this week I had noticed that Gunny was “distractable” when I turned him out into his pasture in the morning. I decided that later in the day when we had our session together I would incorporate some eye contact into our rituals to address this. (we haven’t done much eye contact because of his tendency towards aggressive behavior around food).
So after sharing territory, I set up eye contact and did a combination of that with head up/head down–with head up built up to 60 seconds at a time. This worked wonderfully for getting his focus back and also developing more patience around food.
In a way this was a New Human sighting on my part because in the past, I would have tried to deal with that issue in the context it presented itself and fix it there. But I was able to tell myself to wait and set up a situation to work on it later when I had time.
Sincerely,
Holly Vanasse
Hi Carolyn,
I was able to honestly answer “yes” to all but two of the questions. I am proud and honored to have such a great relationship with my pony, Capri. I have recently stepped outside of the Parelli Box I found myself in and I’m reveling in opening my eyes to a whole new world out there! I’m pleased to have found you. I will read the excerpts from your book, Naked Liberty in the meantime and order it so I can read it completely.
I would like to offer one bit of information to you that I’ve recently discovered. Capri is a very dominant, athletic, and smart mare. She spent the first five years of her life living in a mare band on a large property in CA. She was hyper-alert to her environment and never did anything slowly. In the pasture, going from here to there was at the lope! No sauntering for her! She’s had 6 myo-fascial release sessions with a certified massage therapist in the last two months and I am stunned by the changes in her emotional state! I’ve had her for 2 1/2 years and after these six sessions she is more emotionally stable than I’ve ever seen her! She is not constantly worried about, watching and spooking at things in her environment and she can slow down and move in a more balanced manner. I’m learning about these techniques as well as some cranio-sacral releases through April Battles (www.holistichorseworks.com).
As I expand my knowledge I will consider joining one of your on-line sessions.
Regards,
Anna Perkinson and Capri
College Station, TX
Hi, Carolyn, Just checking in. I have continued working the Waterhole Rituals and Snowy is beginning to give a nice companion walk part of the time. He also has taken to “Go Trot” quickly, probably because he has had some Arabian liberty training in his past. On and off he has days when he tests more, but you have said that is to be expected. Sometimes he does not want to give the “Hello” with a whuff. He will breath softly on my hand sometimes instead. Does that count? Other times he does not want to really say hello at all, days when he seems less willing to do much of anything unless I have carrots and/or treats in a bucket under my chair; then he becomes willing to try most anything to figure out how to get the treats out of me as quickly as possible–which is not exactly the happy, soft attitude one wants. Then I do more leading from behind. The next day he is often much softer and happy to do things. I don’t think that he gives me only one eye much of the time. He almost always turns to look at me directly, even when he gives me his ears back over the fence when he comes asking for treats. I wait until he puts his ears forward, and he is beginning to understand “pretty ears.” But overall, he is becoming more affectionate, and more willing to listen to my lead.
Thanks so much for all your help.
Virginia
Dear Virgina,
Any breath that is deeper than his normal breath for the hello is all that you need.
Remember to Share Territory and to do intimacy bucket exercise. YOu can stand up with the bucket at first and then you can move on to sitting with it in your lab if he will remove his nose out of the bucket and wait happly when you tell him to stop. Try to work with out treats for awhile. It will change the focus and make you a better trainer. YOu could work three days with and the three days with out. Treats should not be when your horse is connecting with you because of the treats, this in not a marriage. Taking the treats away will help you to see what is truly going on in your relationship. Watch my Liberty Training DVD. It is how to train with out treats.
Here is a good law to follow. Put the treats away as long as your horse needs to be paid to do what you ask.
If your horse tries to rush you for the goodies this is a great opportunity to teach him to wait until l he relaxes. If he can not relax give him no more treats for that session.
I am gland you enjoyed the course.
Hope this is of help,
Carolyn
Dear Carolyn
I’ve been on a Carolyn Resnick marathon today. I finished watching all the Lucero videos and then listened to the Anna Twinney Podcasts. The interviews with Anna are wonderful. I’ll need to re-listen to absorb it all.
Thanks for everything!
Carolyn,
This is very interesting. So many nuances to understand. Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes Yowahtee is looking at me more with one eye than the other and I always move me or him just a tad so both eyes are looking at me. I assumed it was because we were close to each other in physical position that it was easier for him to see me with one eye than both as when it happens I am only a foot or so away from the front of his face with my face. Now I will consider if this is something more. I don’t think it is, because on occasion (infrequently) when he was perhaps attempting to get to food that I was guarding, and we were several feet away from each other, I would catch the one eyed sideways glance, almost as if he was calculating how to get around me.
Thank you also for your response to my question on the character that you noticed in him when watching our video. I have relistened to your comments and thought about your response to me.
You saw that our energy was good and he stayed right with me through twists and turns companion walking. But you did see that he is not a pushover, has his own mind and that I must have found some keys to get inside him. You commented that the kind of muscling he showed was that seen often on horses who have developed a strong ‘no’ in wanting to fit in with horses and humans.
When I think back to my first interactions with him, I can now see that was a big part of him. He is only 7, and when I started with him 2 years ago, he had two owners ahead of me. The first one was attached to him after purchasing him from a halter horse breeding farm as a horse to ride with her daughter. Then she couldn’t find time for him. His next owner, a friend of hers, didn’t really bond with him, and he didn’t understand why she didn’t listen to him (via an animal communicator).
When I began with him, his teeth had never been done and he was having a hard time with a curb bit. His saddle didn’t fit and his back was sore. He had sharp edges that were cutting into his cheek. I had his teeth done, his hooves trimmed…it had been months…and his sheath cleaned. I changed to a friendly, loose ring snaffle bit. I tried a different saddle. I learned his hocks were nearly fused from whatever had happened to him.
I was advised to look at different horses as my first horse because he had issues, but I only saw the treasure within him and felt that, as you say, he deserved a better deal. I believed in him. I wanted him to be well looked after and loved. I spent hours with him before I knew of your training. Just sitting in the pasture on the ground while he grazed, building snowmen with him, walking around with him, having fun and exploring. If he was lying down in the pasture and I approached, he would lift an eyelid, see if was me and close it again. I loved sitting by him as he rested listening to his breath. He became comfortable and trusting with me, he would roll next to me even on a lead line.
Looking back, I see he wasn’t very trusting to life, he wanted to be, but it was confusing… and we built that through all the time we spent together. You are right that he has his own mind, a very quick, smart mind and he does know how to say ‘no’. And he likes to know the ‘point’ of doing something.
I did not think about him being harder to start the rituals with because I had already spent a year and a half with him building a relationship. When I was around, he was with me, by choice, whether I was sitting in the round bale while he and his buddies munched or cleaning stalls.
I think your comments on our video surprised me because I don’t look at him as being difficult, I really accept him for who he is everyday, trying to make it fun for us as we grow together. Trying to give him all I can to bring out his joy.
So reflecting back, I do think you are spot on with your amazing insight. And as this is my first horse, I didn’t have many others to compare him to, but your class was definitely the right decision.
****My question would be – He is seven, and you could see that he had much pressure from somewhere in his life. Will that always stay with him or do you have suggestions in ways that I can help him heal from that? I can set up a coaching call if you think I should. ****I do feel we are on a good path, and I definitely plan to sign up for more classes with you when they become available.
I do not feel that I put significant pressure on him. The only time he may experience more pressure is when my instructor rides him to help him get a more balanced canter, or perhaps in lessons when I am being directed to expect and react in a way to get his attention and have him perform something immediately when asked.
I am still finding my way with instructors and how to learn and maintain my connection and relationship with Yowahtee during riding lessons. I need them because I want to be a very balanced and relaxed rider for my horse, I want to give that to him and he tries and works with me in amazing ways.
Sometimes I do have to ask him to do something that is necessary, for safety or health reasons and I try to do it with pure ask and patience. He does listen to me. The other day, he had flattened his ears and was going to lunge toward a mare that was invading his stall space through the window. I saw the look on his face and said, ‘Yowahtee, stop’, come over here’, in a ‘light’ way, and he froze, looked at me, looked at her, thought and came to me. Another example is an unfortunate one, but he slipped on a poorly designed slippery outdoor shower station. He fell, got up and then pulled back, with a little rearing to get away from where he was tied. My barn requires tying…I went into rescue mode to get him untied, and spoke to him calmly. He listened and stopped, we were so connected that both of us were completely focused on getting the rope untied. A witness, was amazed at how he allowed my voice to ease his panic, and how he listened and was able to connect with me.
Sorry this is so long, how to explain my horse in a few sentences, eluded me as I have learned so much, but know there is more to learn.
Thank you,
Connie Huibregtse from your recent WHR class
Yesterday my mare Vermont was standing with her front feet in the feed tub. I had left it out in the paddock after our play session. This was a new horse sighting.:-)
Thank you for the clarification on eye contact.
Thank you, Carolyn, for suggesting the US exercises. I had not even considered trying those with him because like most babies his attention span is still very short and just standing still is a challenge for him. But I’ll give it a try this morning, maybe going to the second US first, but just for as long as he stays interested. I also agree that ST is the best way to go, I just need to find more time. The best thing about ST is that it will give me a clear way to communicate politeness. This colt is very curious and interactive but still fuzzy about manners and convinced he is king of the world. At the moment, I think he may be too pushy about eating from my lap if I am seated, but will give it a try standing up and see if I can get it safe to do when I am seated. Thank you so much for the good ideas.
Hello Carolyn, checking in.
This is a very interesting concept which I’d not paid any attention to before, I’ll check it out with the various horses I interact with at the barn and let you know what I find.
One non-related thing I wanted to share. At the barn there is a pony (about 11 hands) who has very bad laminitis and is not getting proper care. She is in the barn where my horse lives so I see her every day, and make sure she has water, clean hay, I clean up her poop and put fly spray on her etc etc and also spend a little time just loving her. Yesterday she made huge efforts to reach my face and just wanted to blow into my nose and over my face, I felt it was a true communication from her heart and it moved me to tears. She has been treated so unthinkingly and left to suffer so unthinkingly, yet here she is coming through with trusting communication to someone she knows will understand and welcome it, so perhaps she could qualify as a New Horse sighting?
warmest wishes
susan (IC, Italy)
Hello!
I was wondering what you thought about horses who have a difficult time switching from one eye to the other. For example, when I am playing at liberty with Maia, she will sometimes struggle with turning in on the circle toward me and then changing direction through that turn. She will get as far as turning in and then can get “frozen up” when the moment comes for her to straighten out fully (give me two eyes) and then switch eyes entirely.
So far I have been treating it as unconfidence and it seems to help if I back up a lot through the direction change, but I’m wondering if I’m reading that correctly.
Thanks!
Hannah
Dear Carolyn;
I don’t know how you do it, but you always address the problems I am having dead-on.
I have been working with Key on the “Lead from behind” and I was having issues with who was leading who, so I did what you said and when she turned to get behind me I pushed her off and she allowed me to follow/lead from behind and I thought “this is just too easy”.
She has been so good about staying out of my space, then all of a sudden today out of no-where she side swiped me and stepped on my foot, as she was turning to get behind me. She just kept coming and I smacked her with the reed. I have never hit her, and I was pretty upset with myself that I wasn’t more prepared and I had to hit her. She stopped dead in her tracks, but I hate that I reprimanded her. Is there something else I could have done?
She always looks at me with one eye then the other, but it doesn’t really look all that aggressive when she does it.
I don’t know why I did it but I walked up to her and looked right into the one eye she was looking at me with. I stroked her neck and walked away. I went to sit in my chair to just hang out and share territory, when all of a sudden she came running up right beside me and came to a dead stop. Her head went up and her ears were pinned to her head, and I could tell this was a challenge. I stood up and just held my ground. She turned her head to look at me with both eyes and it seemed like a long time had passed where we just stared at each other. Then she dropped her head and her ears came forward and she walked toward me and leaned her head against my chest.
I stroked her neck and she walked away, so I sat down. Then she came right back and stood over me in an aggressive pose, so I chased her off and left the paddock all together. I am seriously puzzled. Why is she doing this and how do I stop it? I know I probably should not have allowed her in my space at that point, but she looked so pityful and apologetic.
When I came back later to share territory, she went to lay down very close to me, but turned so her rear was closest to me. She has done this before and when she goes to roll over I am in danger of being kicked unless I move. I have always moved out of the line of fire, but this week I have held my ground and made her get up and move. She usually gets up and lays down so that her head is right at my feet or on my feet. Well, today when she went to turn her rear on me I pushed her hip with my reed and she went down the other way so that her hips were away from me. I could tell that she was not real happy about this, but stayed there anyway.
When she got up she started getting pushy and aggressive, so I drove her off, and did a lead from behind and she was quite receptive. I just pushed her off three times then I stopped and gave her lots of neck rubbing and praise.
Thank you again,
Catra
Dear Catra,
Working horses at liberty is more dangerous than working a horse with tack. Especially when you are asking me the kind of questions that you are, about why she is doing what she is doing. My method is for people who are very qualified in knowing how to read a horse, and I always suggest, when arguments happen, like what you have just described, to quit using the method, and seek help or use a program that your horse is responding more positively to.
Again, you do not have enough experience with my method to get in an argument with a horse. And, also, if you have got to hit your horse with the reed, you are clearly taking the wrong approach.
If you would like, you can do a coaching call with me. If you are interested in the Waterhole Rituals, find a horse that resonates to them like magic, so that the usage of them brings about a deeper bond, without misunderstandings and resentments.
Best Regards,
Carolyn
thank you, really learn from the questions and the answers here.
Dear Carolyn,
thanks, and checking in. And I want to second what someone else said earlier. I always love and benefit from it when you elaborate on the Rituals…..
Have a lovely weekend.
Christian
Hi Carolyn
I like it when you elaborate on the particular rituals. It’s hot here so we are doing more Sharing Territory than anything.
Love & Blessings
Regina
Dear Carolyn
This is an eye opener for me, am already busy with a young stallion Stream 2 years old. He is very clever but naughty. What you’re telling in your storry, with one eye, i think he does that to me.
At one point he turns his head at me and stared at me with a very naughty intimidating eye, and so not 5 minutes later he flies at me ore he makes a quick movement towards me.
I do a lot with him, sharing territory, say hello and taking territory, that’s pretty good, but then it just suddenly, even when Sharing Territory, he looks from a distance again with that mischievous one eye and is within 5 minutes he run very fast to me if he wants to intimidate me. The thing is that he does not hit me, but alternately hit past me, fortunately. Sometimes it seems he likes to do this to me. The funny thing Carolyn, it give me a really strange feeling in my stomach and start laughing, it working on mine laughing mussels, which obviously is not not good.
Must be very allert on him, but I like him a lot.
Keep doing my best
Love Monique
Dear Monique,
So nice to hear from you. About your stallion, I am concerned, you need more experience, and I wouldn’t try practicing the Waterhole Rituals with this youngster. It’s really important to get a few horses under your belt that are very easy. A charging horse is very dangerous. Two horses that I take very seriously are a horse that would charge and a horse that would crowd. I would feel very much better if you were to geld him or have him under somebody’s guidance who has years of experience handling tough colts. This colt, I would call tough, because of the charge. My stallion, here on the ranch that is young, does not ever consider a charge, and, if he did, I, as a trainer, would have to pass on him, or wait to see if he is just going through a stage. But I wouldn’t interact with him if charging is part of his repertoire. Please, be careful.
All my love,
Carolyn
Dear Carolyn
Thanks for your lesson in this. Had no idea that this is really dangerous and wil counsel.
My problem is a bit, that I am not afraid of horses, because i do not see the danger in them.
Going to follow your advice and ask someone with more experience to train Stream.
Thanks for your warning Carolyn i wil be more careful
Love Monique
I have a two year old TB colt who has been giving me a subliminal concern recently that I was unable to put my finger on until reading this blog. He looks at me with one eye rather than both fairly often, I think. Now that I am alerted to it, I will observe more carefully. He is no more unruly than any other two year old TB, but he is big and high-energy, and I’ve started to get a slightly uncomfortable feeling when I handle him, although he has done nothing overtly aggressive. But, for example, he suddenly started rushing through gates. I stopped that with two days of step – halt – step – wait-for-treat – step – halt – wait – treat plus an over-the-gate variation on the hello ritual. Now, as you suggest, I will try some LFB as a prep for doing the eye contact ritual. He isn’t really in training yet, just spends his days hanging out with the cows and other kids and learning to be a horse. But your rituals are easy to do and maybe it is time for me and him to engage. Thank you for this timely information.
Dear Candle,
The Uberstreichens are going to soften him and deepen the bond. It will bring out more willingness and trust. That’s going to be really the answer. Also, Sharing Territory and the intimacy game of holding a bucket in your lap. It should fix your problem. The reason I am advising you in this manner is that, from my understanding, you are a very knowledgeable trainer and have been successful with many kinds of horses.
Hope this is of help,
Carolyn