Following horse protocol
May 7th, 2009 by Carolyn Resnick Method
The bond between horses and humans is usually is not as strong as the bond that horses share with each other. Clearly there are multiple reasons for there are ways to try and bridge these gaps. Either the horse must be domesticated to our ways or we must follow a horse’s protocol and cultural laws. Their protocols are about creating well-being, responsibility, teamwork and unification between the herd and the leader. The natural result of these cultural laws is the creation of lasting bonds, harmony, order and a one-minded connection. We are drawn to horses like bees to honey and we know it has something to do with their spirit but in essence it is all these outcomes that we seek.
So the key then is to follow their protocol and culture and we must therefore start by drawing the horse to us to bond like they have drawn us to them and then a true connection can formed. This requires us to wait for a horse to be attracted without any influence other than our presence in his territory. In other words, the first Waterhole Ritual. This exercise creates a true bond from the natural, extemporaneous interplay between the two of you. It is a great way also to socialize horses to feel good about their relationship with all humans. In the process, your horse learns how to be polite and respectful and accept direction through an inviting process that brings more life experience to him.
What I have witnessed though is that generally the horse and human bond is based on the horse knowing he hasn’t any choice in the matter. He will then falsely bond with a human because it feels better for him to do so when there are often no horses around that he can connect with. The use of a formula by the human in this situation, does not allow for the spontaneous exchanges between horse and human that are so valuable.
However, do not make the mistake of thinking you should become your horse’s best friend. Being a friend to a horse and taking no leadership position offers him no security and boredom will soon set in once the initial bond is formed. When we are attempting to adopt the rules of horse society, we must look to their protocols not our own. It is our job to shape the dominant nature of our horse to be social and polite. We do not need to necessarily change his dominant nature, we just need to bond and offer leadership when he or she wants it. In the wild, when a lead horse that has been chosen, he allows the follower to control and shapes his leadership behavior. When a lead horse is respectful, the follower feels honored and in control, which brings the follower to feel loyalty, responsibility and trust. Both parties shape the other as a way to getting to know one another and this creates a true working partnership. Horses need to work out the social order to develop deep friendships and horses need freedom of choice in social interactions.
Instead of developing the bond to be able to train a horse, you are using the training to deepen the bond rather than being interested in the horse’s performance. The horse directs your leadership and you offer the program. This kind of leadership is comforting and nurturing to a horses. When a horse does not get to live in a harmonious herd environment, he needs us to provide the socialization and leadership for his emotional well-being. In developing a method for horses we need to allow the horse the ability to figure out how to work within our system when called to participate without being pressured.
Coming back to the first Ritual then, when we avoid the temptation to approach him and wait for him to come to us, it will develop his desire to learn how to fit in with us. Allowing a horse to become interested builds his self esteem and increases his ability to partner with us with a willing heart.
Before I go, I’d like to show you an excerpt from an email I received from one of my students, Carol, which fits in beautifully with today’s topic. Carol wrote:
I’ve spent so much more time just being with both my horses since beginning my journey with you. I’m now keenly aware that I need to move away if my presence is not welcome at any particular time. I don’t force anything to happen. I am content to wait for a response, and if I am unsuccessful, I feel comfortable changing how I ask. Both your Method and blog give me creative ideas to keep my horses motivated, and more importantly, they give me reassurance when I hit the speed bumps that inevitable while training them. The bond I have with both my horses has strengthened tremendously in the past year and I am learning how to fit more comfortably in a horse’s world.
I thought too her pictures really capture the essence and energy of relationship and bonding with a horse. What do you think?
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Enjoy your weekend!
Carolyn
No related posts.
Carolyn,
I started about a month ago taking english riding lessons from a small, family owned barn. Within a week, I was working at the barn as much as possible (the paying job comes first unfortunately.) This barn holds 22 horses currently, and each one has a unique personality.
The big problem it seems, is getting the people out of the way of learning about horses. The first horse I was put up on was a TB gelding named Bud. At first he was a sweetheart, but then he started to act up and I was told by another rider (not my instructor) to kick him to get him to go forward. I watched her ride him, and while he did what she wanted, you could tell immediately he was not a happy camper.
So I continued to work with Bud, both in the saddle and on the ground. (We played the target game on a path with different buckets, some with grain, some without, on our walks.) Then one day, out of the blue, it seems like Bud -hates- me. I started researching to find out why, and couldn’t come up with any information. I tried changing what I was doing, figuring out if he had an issue with tack, nothing worked. Another rider said he was testing me, and I had to show with a nice smack to his side with my hand that it was innapropriate to test me. This unnerved me.
So I moved on to a smaller horse, a wonderful little mare named Bella who had been fed stale english muffins as food before the barn got her. Bella is finicky and not fully trained, but she works well with me and hasn’t started testing me yet. (I ride her bareback and bitless, otherwise she drools up a tidal wave.)
My question to you is, what can I do if Bella starts questioning her position in the herd in relation to me? I don’t want to have to switch horses again because I let another one win in their test for the pecking order.
Becky
ofcourse you work at liberty when your horse is not on leadrope he is free to follow or not.
He can do what he wanted.
Turn away from you, standing still, or just running.
as long as you listen to your horse and play with him both have a good time i suppose.
At liberty means (i think) working with your horse without preasure.
Hi tine,
you have a good story also.
i do sometimes the same as you grooming for help to ask him if he wanna do something with me.
Someting else then a cookie. i mixed those rewards.
So good to read that the horse response and become more open to you. Hard work give results. Yes!!
Nicole H
you can use also a cordeo.
So you have some conection when needed but not the head of the horse.
this can help you too.
i use it often, specialy by walking.
My horse is now restricted to grass because of healty problems.
So he is very focust on grass. I do not wanted him to pull on his head each time.
So i use a cordeo and his halter with leadrope.
First i warn with my voice, he doen’t react i move the cordeo. Most of the time he will react.
If he still doesn’t
I use the leadrope.
And if he ignore that the latest part if he realy realy ignore me i use the whip.
In front of his nose over the ground so i demand him to listen to me.
since i started to work this way i get some improvements.
but maybe Carolyn have better ideas.
Because it is hard work to get his attention during this time of the year.
It is so hard for a horse that he may not eat of the adarable fress green grass.
since i use this way i got every day better results.
today i had only to move the cordeo to remind him.
Thanks for the great post, and the pictures included are great!
I saw the video that Stina posted a few days ago on youtube of you and Panadero playing! It was so inspiring and beautiful! I loved it!
I am learning so much from using your method with my horse, and my relationship and leadership with him has grown a lot!
I have been using leading from behind a lot recently and I am really amazed at how much it has improved his connection and work ethic!!
We have been working mostly at the trot and a little bit of canter with leading from behind. in big arenas or pastures. He is getting so good at reading my focus and will usually turn in the direction I want him to go just by where I look.
Your tips on teaching my horse head up/head down cue, and making sure I am always controlling the pace have also helped a LOT with my horse’s ground manners!
I started using a whip a little when I was leading him because sometimes he would just hurry forward and dive his head down to eat, but I would just put the whip in front of him and gently shake it a little to define the space he needed to stay out of, so he would know I didn’t want him to walk forward into that space in front of me. I would ask him to walk a little more behind me than usual, but not right behind my back and he got much more respectful and he always matches whatever pace I walk at.
I have been working on leading him without having to use the rope, (just putting it over his back so it is there for safety when I am not in an arena) and only using a whip a little to help direct him. That has improved our connection at liberty al lot.
Thanks for all the great advice!
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to respond and share your wisdom.
This has been a long-awaited and wonderful horse journey — but sometimes my confidence is shaken because I don’t intuitively know what to do. That is why your suggestion about what you did as a child is so helpful.
Thank you also for clarification on the exercise AND on “leadership” as interaction.
You also hit the nail on the head — I struggle both with being “fair” and “directive”. The only place I am totally directive is when food is involved (my safety is the issue) — both of our horses have learned that when I say “Polite” it is time to back off….they may be salivating like Pavlov’s dogs, but they wait until I put down their food/hay and say it is okay for them to eat.
I will re-read your book and watch your dvd again too — it has been awhile.
in appreciation — L.
darynne,
You are welcome!!
P.S.
Lisa,
I though this might help you too. When I was a child I had no idea what to do.
What I am about to share with you is a formula that helped me. Continue to change your approach. Experment.
It will help you in chooses when to lead and when to follow. Follow and when the connection is less from following then lead . When the connction becomes weak for leading then follow. Keep on and you will get better and better.
The Journey will always pan out if you are willing to let it.
In your horses eyes you have “no fault insurance”when getting too aggresive with your horse if you are willing to adjust your enery to be more suitable and are strong enough to not let your horse take advantage of your willness, your connection and your horse’s perfromance with blossom.
Try to enjoy your failures and learn from them to develop your leadership.
Lisa, please do not worry about being too dominent. I see you as the oppisite.
Hope this is of help.
Carolyn – Yes, I am having tremendous results using your ideas
I read something into your statement “we just need to bond and offer leadership when he or she wants it” that wasn’t there. I over think sometimes when I am learning about something I am very interested in and so have to ask the occational “dumb question” to keep myself on track. Thank you for clarifying for me. Best…
Dear Lisa,
You moving her off hay piles and her moving to a new pile is the exericse. Keep it up. The grass ring is a great place to train a horse but you need to understand more in how to work on it. For me to help you further I would need to speak directly to you. If things are getting better between you and your horse this will continue to grow.
Your horse from your discription is not being a leader because she is not courting you in any way or asking you to do anything for her at this point. Leadership requires leadership interaction. What she is showing you is that she is not following your leadership this does not make her a leader.
I would suggest you not try to use any of the rituals untill you do not feel conflicted in when to be directive. It seems things are getting better for you. From my point of view I think you are not strong enough in knowing what is fair and your leadership is suffering because of this point.
Don’t step behind your horse to lead him from behind. When you want to lead from behind where ever you are you walk directly towards your horse and pursue the body part that is closest to you and “shoo” that part away from you as you approach.
This way your horse will turn and walk away from you and then you follow and then you will be behind your horse.
You need more understanding of my method and I belive that on your own getting more aggresive would be a mistake.
I can tell you need lessons in the method.
Hope this is of help.
oh, a P.S. — I have a question. My horse, bored though she might be with me, ALWAYS let me approach and be with her. Now sometimes when I come out into the (very large) paddock after putting out all the hay in little piles (to make the horses walk until they are on pasture again!), she will many times just move to another pile of hay. I was thinking this was not a positive direction (as in, she no longer wants to be with me) but was wondering if perhaps it is more positive. When one of the more dominant horses comes into the paddock, the other horses move off their hay to a pile more distant from the dominant horse. However, my concern is that while I want to be the leader, this is different from the dominant horse, yes? Any thoughts?
Dear Carolyn,
Today this struck me as I was reading your post: “Being a friend to a horse and taking no leadership position offers him no security and boredom will soon set in once the initial bond is formed.” I think this may explain something about my relationship with my horse! I have spent HOURS with her in the paddocks and the pastures since I’ve had her. But she could care less if I am there or not…..she is NOT curious to see me or be with me. Could it be that she is bored???
I was feeling discouraged (again) over my inability to be her leader and sometimes stop reading your blog….but always I come back because I value what you say and believe it to be true. I only have a grass ring and getting her attention is a major issue. In fact, it became such a huge issue even taking her for walks, that I considered re-homing her (I am too old to be getting jerked around!). Still, I took my rod out with me every morning when I fed the horses and after many months, she is FINALLY starting to orient herself to me when I get behind her without me swinging the rod (although sometimes I cheat and after I cluck, if she doesn’t move, I say “whoosh” — the sound of the rod –and then she moves!). I took her out in the ring the other day — it was so beautiful out — and we had a little walk together and then a little ride. She tried to grab grass but it was half-hearted at best….not her usual pulling me around. When I got on her back, her ears were moving and she wasreally LISTENING to ME.
I know compared to all the wonderful stories and relationships this seems very insignificant. I’ve been told that my horse doesn’t want a leader, she wants to be the leader — but perhaps this is the beginning of something different for us.
Keep all the good words coming, Carolyn, and thanks to all!
Lisa
I love the middle picture. How safe must a horse feel to close his/her eyes to savour the moment of connection…
Oh, Carolyn, you know just what to say and when to say it, How’dyou do that? The bit about being able to do a lot at liberty but asking “is it from a bond or a formula?” I rode today and had a realization that I can do a lot with horses, the basics, and i’m good at it, I’m very patient and I think I’m a good leader. But, to move from the basics, I seem to become impatient, I become excited and eager, so I’m also less patient and attentive to the horse and the bond. I don’t like that about myself right now.
Today, someone quite unlikely, and without knowing it, just told me to slow it down and wait… so simple, and I know it … goals ahead of relationship… I guess I feel consoled that at least I had the whack upside the head, and it woke me up … I feel sad, but I’m in the moment, and aware. A better day tomorrow I’m sure. Thank you all for the inspiring stories and pictures. Carolyn, I feel blessed to have found you and your waterhole rituals.
Lyse and Luna
Dear Tina,
Thank you for sharing your story. I am gald you were able to take my suggestion and have it work for you.
I have watched horse manuver each other to groom one another and it is such a great place to gain a connection and leadership that seem benificial. You took what I suggested and did even more with it. I use grooming as a way for training a horse to respond to my direction when I ride not so much as to get as much action as you have.
I hope more people will have your ability to experment and be sucessful as you have been. Can you make a you tube of your grooming ritual? I might like to share it on my blog.
Good going,
Carolyn
What a beautiful post. I love the pictures too! Thanks for that burst of inspiration this morning!
A very nice story, Inge!
Our painthorse Jaguy-Boy (12 years old)is often having health problems. Somebody said he has been overtrained and started very young. He’s here for 8 years now being the friend of my husband in our weekly trailrides. The beginning was difficult. Jaguy was a biter and not so gentle. It was an introvert horse.
Every day I hang around the horses. Jaguy turned out to be a curious horse but still something retarded him in expressing himself freely. I read in Carolyn’s book that she used the scrabbings to learn the mare the halt or to move. I was used to scrab the horses with my hands (in that way I feel the difference in temperature or feel wounds or whatever) but never used it as a trainingtool.
As Jaguy loves being scrabbed, I give him this pleasure but I stop earlier than I was used to and I ask him to do a few steps back, or hold, or go forward or trot etc. and he found out that after the move, I’ll scrub him again. Since last week he stops eating grass and comes in a trot or sometimes in a canter towards me with twinkeling eyes and stops right in front of me demanding to scrab him on his stomac.
He used to be grumpy when I asked him to move forward but now he does it willingly. The more I prais him during the exercices, the more he goes for it. I found out that he does the best he can if he’s being asked something gentle, polite and not too difficult (as he is not very flexible in his body). We really do appreciate him the way he is. He turned out in being a nice horse who loves people.
Hi Carolyn, My horse is in a very large pasture with four other horses. I love to go sit and watch the horses. They are all getting used to my presence. If one of the horses starts to walk over to me, I welcome them and greet them. I never know who will come to greet me first. I think my horse is the last one to be interested. He keeps his eyes on me, but I can tell he hangs back and watches how I interact with the other horses. One of the horses has bonded with me more than my own horse. He follows me until I break the connection by paying more attention to my horse. The owners of the other horses don’t see their horses very often and I think the poor horses get bored. I wish I knew of some games I could engage them in. I’m not sure I have a bond with my horse or he just leads me to the gate because he knows I will feed him. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to spend time with these horses. It just feeds my soul.
Carolyn,
Thank you for all you share with us. I am a newcomer to your method, and it all makes perfect sense to me. I have two rescued Morgan mares that I have a great connection with. We have spent lots of time over the past year bonding. Today I sat with them in their lean-to in the rain as they munched hay. As time went on we had a major grooming session. I love it when they include me. I groomed Lib, Lib groomed Cally and Cally groomed me. I just had to remind Cally a few times that I wasn’t really a horse. “please do not use your teeth to groom me” My question is this. Can I do all the rituals with both mares at once? They get jealous If I spend more time with one over the other. We like to spend our time as three. Even when we go off riding, I ride one and let the other follow behind. sometimes I ride one out, and the other home. Is this healthy? I find two to be a difficult number of horses sometimes. I do not want to leave one out and alone.
I also had a question about taking space. I gave my girls food and they tracked me as I walked around them. When I did move them off, they did not come back. they said ” fine you have it”…….??? Is that good? or bad?
I look forward to learning more.
Melinda
Dear becky,
Sit with your horse untill it feels so good to be with your horse you are complety nurished by his presents. When you are full of this kind of nurishment that you could burst he will relize how important you are to him.
Spirtual courtships are like that. You will know when this happen because he will have a diffrent attitude toward you.
Remember to share the story in the shift of attitude he will take.
Hope is is of help.
Dear Darynne,
Horses need leadership always, Your leadership or his or her but a horse would prefer your leadership over his own becase they are herd animals. A horse gets tired in pushing you into your roll. Do you want your partner to always say to you should I lead? You are too wishy washy it seems.It is a back and fourth game that takes so willness to error. If the horse is not feeling connected he wants more leadership or more rules or more freedom or he needs to be the leader. You need to experment and find out. When the connection is made you they know the answer for that day. Don’t be affraid to make the wrong choice and see quickly to change your approach as needed. Each day will be diffrent and become easier and easier. You are in a dance of courtship Where you are playing the rolls of mother father sister brother leader and best friend and date.
Be to your horse like you would like you parter to be to you. You do not want a push over- you do not want a tirent- you don’t want someone who does not know what he or she wants. You want strength and softness and someone to respect that pays close attention to you. Make a list and be those thing to your horse in the best way you can. If you get lost sit and be with your horse for as long as it takes. Stina sat for weeks. relationship is not in books. It is in the mement and that requires adjustments always. Keep a record and if it is getting better you are on the right road.
I hope this is of help.
Carolyn – Your posts about leadership always make me go, “Ok, I have to remember this.”
And I have a question… How do you know when a horse is saying, “I need a leader right now and I want that leader to be you.” What are the indications? How does the horse communicate this need? When/how do I know it’s ME he wishes to be led by in any given moment, under any given circumstance? When I do leading from behind with my horse I pick the moment and the duration. I’m wondering if there is a way for me to see him picking the moment and deciding how long it should last. Best…
Inge that’s beautiful. So i come here on and off, and today just finsished working my horse on a circle at liberty – but i have to ask, was he really at liberty? I have not done the waterhole rituals but i think it’s time to get your book! I feel my very senstive 4 year old, bought from the market was not at liberty at all. Although i was working with him in a large paddock, i still think i’m stuck on the ‘pressure/release training method. He is so tense still, and i simply have not spent time sharing space doing nothing! Not enough time anyway. I am inspired. So what can i do tomorrow while i’m ordering my book?? :0))
Dear Inge,
Thank you for your sharing your experiance. You experiance is a great teacher for all of us.
I also want to thank everyone for taking the time to write thier appreciation it feeds my enthusiam to share my methods of bonding training and performance.
This is/was the way i started to get to know my new horse.
When i let him into his new field to meet his new friends i was only standing in the middle of the field and waiting.
He was a bit shy and waited for what happens. I found him later the day in the same area i had left him. He had not moved far. Still not eaten.
The next morning on the same place.
I thougth maybe he have hungry, not maybe he had hungry, so i ask him would you follow me?
Invited him with body language such as a mare does.
He decided to follow me. He had to go to the new group. What he not prefer.
i saw him thinking can i trust her? should i go? yes no? i have hungry…so…???
One of them wanted to attack him keeping him away of the new fresh grass.
I was defending him and keep the horse away so he could go to a part were no horses were so he could eat.
I protected him to keep the horses away, not by yelling or waving with my arms just walk between them and push them away with my inner power.
The groupmembers know who i was. I came there everyday.
So they respected me. And didn’t give much attention anymore and started to eat again.
My new horse could eat for awhile.
Slowly i moved a bit backwards and watched what he did.
He followed me again. but make clear that he still wanted to eat.
So i walked back and he could eat.
One of the horses came nearby. Still eating head low.
Did not take much care about the new one. So he began to feel a bit saver.
Finaly a horse who did not give much attention, did not push him away.
i took a few steps back, he stayed there, but keep an eye on me.
The horse decided to say hello to my horse. And the ice was broken.
I was feeling happy. I had make a good decision to bring him furter into the field, so he could eat.
Slowly i got away furter and furter.
until somewere in the middle of the field. And had waited there for at least an our or more, i don’t know.
He had eaten enough and come over to visit me and give a sweet soft nose into my hair.
Walked slowly back to the group and ofcourse eat again.
Then it was time to go. He was save in his new group. A new friend and enough food.
The next two weeks i have done the same ritual. Asked nothing of him. Just watched the group and their interaction with eachother. Each of them passed me and say hello. So my horse did the same.
After when i thought he is fully accepted in the group. I took him out for a walk. On the farm.
He followed me very easy, no pushing on the rope or anything. Just walked next to me into a new world for him.
It felt so good. Tho all people at the farm said why don’t you take him out?, why don’t you go work with him?
Nope i did it my way
and i am still proud for that.
Because i have less trouble with my horse.
Ofcourse i have some, but not that much i see around me. Otherwise i did not have to follow the course.
But i am totaly agree with Carolyn that the bonding is very very important for every next step you wanted to make.
Wonderful portrayal of the magic moments that can be spent between horse & human when the bond is there.That 1st picture reminds me of this morning when I scratched my horse’s favorite itchy spot.
In the old days I’d try to get him to come and when he wouldn’t ,I’d be miffed. But I now I know better. I could just feel how it would be like to be a horse out w/ my herd mates on a sunny spring day enjoying the fresh grass.
My horse is lucky enough to be living in a herd w/ 20 other horses , I can spend hours just watching the herd interactions ,I’ve learned so much!!
When I go to see him ,usually he will leave the herd to come and put his head in the halter as I wait by the gate. But on days like yesterday he wanted to stay w/ the herd …it was their first day out on the pasture that had been fenced off all winter ….but all was good ,there was no need for him to come…he had another agenda ..and that I respected
To me being w/a horse is like having an invitation to dance…if you have 2 willing partners , the dance just flows.
great post and great pics.
Thanks!
It seems that us, beginners, can never be reminded enough of the purpose of your method.
And Together with tthese moving photos to illustrate your words, this post is particularly impactful.