Free Interactive Lesson with me in how to Approach Horse Training

Disinterested?“Is my horse lazy, a brat, cranky, bored, out of sorts, not interested or rude?”

Maybe none of these things are true. Maybe you feel this way because your horse is not fitting in with your plans for the day?

Maybe, your horse might say that YOU are uninspiring, lacking desirable leadership, boring, out of sorts, or controlling.

Name calling will just create more separation. How to get out of this pattern is to stop looking at your horse’s performance as not being up to your expectations and start working on a better relationship and a better leadership approach with your horse.

The focus of training needs to be on how to create the dance rather than what needs to be fixed.  My blog and online programs can help you and your horse to find the best part of each other.

Honey and LibertySometimes your influence may have created these undesirable responses in your horse. If this is the case there is a way to bring your horse to be happy and connected with you rather than causing your horse to respond negatively to your direction.

Any of these undesirable attitudes are a way for your horse to let you know that he does not feel that you have approached him in a way that inspires him to follow your lead.  These attitudes are usually created by not knowing how to interact with your horse so that these behaviors do not happen.

If these attitudes were present in your horse before you arrived to the stable, because your horse is having a bad day, then you would be correct to call him these names.  However, doing so will not empower you or your relationship with your horse.  It’s best to leave him alone on these “bad” days.

When is a horse considered rude?

LibertyBefore I answer this question let me know your opinion in what you would consider to be rude behavior in a horse and why you think your horse is rude. 

I will be waiting for your response.

Until the next time, be on the lookout for new horse and human sightings and may the horse be with you.

Warmly,

Carolyn

 

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108 Comments on "Free Interactive Lesson with me in how to Approach Horse Training"

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JoyNichols
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JoyNichols
2 years 7 months ago

Oh if ypur horse kicks at you when you turn him or her back out into the field, try turning them back toward the gate before you turn them loose. Giving two treats is supposed to help, because they are taking time to chew them. Maybe you could walk them out to their buddies who are grazing before you let them go. It is vvery important to get the kicking to stop because people have been kicked in the head and killed. Ground manners can save your life.

Elena
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Elena
2 years 7 months ago
Name calling will just create more separation! The last month I have been on this subject and I am thinking this apply to many aspects of our lives…we were raised like classifiers with colored tags everywere and sometimes this can be helpful. But when I have not enough experience or tend to think reality is a fix situation then I find myself in trouble! Horses are teaching me a lot and I am trying not to call names at all, names and tags are a human creation…..I used to think my horse was rude when she came into my space… Read more »
Desiree Taylor/The Netherlands/EC & IC 2012, PC 2013 /Abby
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Desiree Taylor/The Netherlands/EC & IC 2012, PC 2013 /Abby
2 years 7 months ago

Very intesting!

The way I see it, a horse that is being rude has usually learned to be that way or has not learned a different way to be. What I perceive as rude may be totally acceptable behaviour to somebody else in which case it is my responsibility to let the horse know where my boundaries are.

Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago
Hi Desiree, I totally agree with that. Also, with my horses, there are some things which I allow one horse to do, but not another . . . because I know if I allowed ‘this’ then it may lead to ‘that’ which is a behaviour I do not want. For instance, my appaloosa meets me at the gate every morning when I arrive to carry in the food – it is never about the food, only the greeting. He allows me to open the gate, come in backwards having poicked up the feed, and will back off from my bottom!!Cool… Read more »
Elodie Belz (ICC spring 2011, BTWHR December 2012)
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Elodie Belz (ICC spring 2011, BTWHR December 2012)
2 years 7 months ago
Dear Carolyn, Very interesting topic. I see a lot of what you talk about in the equestrian world: people calling their horses rude, stupid, cranky, just because the horses don’t fit in their programm and are trying to communicate that they are not happy. And the more they put names on their horses, the less they are connected to them. I often hear things like “yes my horse is like that, he is already 15, he won’t change anyway”. I find it very sad, because even a very old horse can change its response if the people around him change… Read more »
Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago

Hi Elodie,
I like your idea that your horses are telling you what they think about what you have asked – I always consider what my horse is saying is just ‘feedback’, not to be taken personally against me, but just giving an opinion.
Then it is up to me to deal with it in the way I believe is right under the circumstances.

Jan

Anna-Karin Hägglund , Ameri Kahn, Sweden, EC 2010, 2011,2013, BTWHR dec 2012
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Anna-Karin Hägglund , Ameri Kahn, Sweden, EC 2010, 2011,2013, BTWHR dec 2012
2 years 7 months ago
Dear Carolyn! What an interesting and mindopening question! I don´t think my horse is rude, but I can be rude sometimes by not being enough in space and time while being with my horse and he has to be “rude” to wake me up and pay attention and be a leader. I don´t think a horse can think:”Now I will be rude and kick my owner, don´t pick up my hoves, bite, throw my rider off.” A horse do what a horse must do! We humans have to learn to look behind the horses “rudeness” and look for what we… Read more »
Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago

Hi Anna-Karin,

I love this bit . . .

A horse do what a horse must do! We humans have to learn to look behind the horses “rudeness” and look for what we can do to make that horse feel safe.

very true,

Jan

Samantha Bolam
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Samantha Bolam
2 years 7 months ago

Hmmmm…. I try not to think of horses behaviour in terms of rudeness… I try to view any behaviour that I would like to see less of as evidence of a lack of socialisation which is my responsibility to address. The horse is just being a horse after all. I find that changing my internal language about what is going on really helps me to stay emotionally fit 🙂

Rosemary
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Rosemary
2 years 7 months ago

Dear Carolyn,

I think rude behavior would be demanding a treat, rushing ahead of me while being led somewhere he is not interested in going, not holding his foot long enough for the job at hand (trimming, cleaning the hoof). I would love a webinar!
Thanks for the opportunity. I hope you are doing well.

Anne-Marie
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Anne-Marie
2 years 7 months ago

I think it might be rude if my horse throws her shoulder or barrel out at me , or changes sides when I am leading her.

Kristin
Guest
2 years 7 months ago
Rudeness has intent behind it. I consider one of my horses to be rude from time to time when he bullies his way in front of me to get to whatever he wants to get to without regard to my personal space. This horse is very aware of my personal space and respects it most of the time.However it is always my lack of creating a connection with him when he does this.Also Harry is great at making quick decisions for me when my leadership is faulty.Sometimes I want to pop in and out quickly on my way to somewhere… Read more »
Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago

Yes, Kristin, I agree that rudeness has to have intent behind it. My standardbred sometimes does things, and I say ‘excuse ME, what did you say?’ and you can see his face go ‘oops, I did not mean to do that, sorry, I forgot’! He is nine years old, but sometimes acts like a two year old, bless him.

Jan

Radka
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Radka
2 years 7 months ago

I feel my horse is rude when he walks through me. Although I wish I understood a bit more about herd dynamics… I also end up feeling annoyed when he butts me with his head. Not too pleasant lol.

Charlene
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Charlene
2 years 7 months ago
I am still so new to the world of horses and am still trying to understand myself what is rude behaviour and what is not. When I first got my horse Eagle earlier this year, a mentor at the time told me never to let the horse present his backside to you as this is very rude…well here I am some months later with the Waterhole Rituals as part of our lives and there is nothing more that Eagle loves than to swing around and offer his rump for a good scratching. The benefit to me is my confidence around… Read more »
Cheryl Forrest
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Cheryl Forrest
2 years 7 months ago
Dear Carolyn, My mustang mare, Brownie, and I have lived together 14 months now. She is my first horse, and I am learning so much about her and me. I used to think Brownie was rude by turning her rear to me, but as more time goes by, I think it’s just herd behavior. Sometimes in an effort to peak her interest, I turn my back on her and will lean on a fence post…on occasion, she will quietly come up and nuzzle my head or slip her head over my shoulder. That just can’t be rude when it feels… Read more »
Lynn Punturiere
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Lynn Punturiere
2 years 7 months ago
Hmmm. Is rude a matter of perception? What some people may call rude I may think is funny. Edison is mischievous and playful. He likes to put things in his mouth, or push things to the ground with his nose just because he can, and he makes sure you are watching when he does so. One thing that I do think is rude is if you hold him on the lead line and stop to talk to somebody, he will remind you that he is there and wants to go by applying a tiny nip. I remember when I was… Read more »
Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago

Lynn, I LOVE it . . . you asking the question is your horse being rude, or are you being rude for not paying attention to your horse if you meet someone to talk to on the way out.

Jan

Leslie
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Leslie
2 years 7 months ago
Hmmm well, rude would be something disrespectful in my mind. Like, biting, pushing, walking through me, aggressive gestures. My horses is very respectful in most instances, he has a tendency towards mud fever, and can be kinippity about his feet at times, but I understand if there is discomfort, and we just take it slow and easy. I suppose I am saying, unless there is a good reason, he is rarely rude. When I first met him, just off the track, he was an angry five year old. Rude was his name then!!! But when trust and bonding came into… Read more »
Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago

Dear Leslie, isn’t Regal lucky to have found you! I can imagine a more misunderstood horse could not have been found had he been in some other hands apart from yours . . . from Rude to Regal, lovely!

Jan

Sofia Rivas
Guest
2 years 7 months ago

We still learning as a team, he did this a couple of times. Try to get the grains before I put them in the bucket. He’s a 3 years old…still learning

Beth Davis
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Beth Davis
2 years 7 months ago
Wow. Some of the behavior that I thought was rude may be natural heard behavior. My boys are mouthy but they don’t bite, they explore with their mouths.They do not pin their ears or swing their hindquarters around. We share space often and they are very tolerant of my intrusions into their space. One of my boys will not pick up his front feet for me. He used to pick them up and knows when I ask what I would like for him to do, but all of his weight will shift to the leg that I want him to… Read more »
Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago
Dear Beth, my strong lead horse standardbred would never pick up his feet for me when he first arrived, so in his case I think it was trust – I earned his trust and got his feet. My appy, I KNOW that he trusts me, but he has had a hard life of being told what to do and how to do it, and he finds it VERY difficult to give me his feet. From being a ridden horse by others, he has gone to not wanting me to get on him, and yesterday I tried on an extended stockman’s… Read more »
Jill Harris
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Jill Harris
2 years 7 months ago
Each of my horses is rude in their own way! My nearest and dearest, now retired Arab, nudges me hard with his nose to get more attention, but that’s it. The Irish TB I have been riding, won’t look at me and walks away in the paddock to make it difficult to catch him. Also in the stall, he stays in the hay corner and doesn’t puthis head out to say hello like all the others. He requires bribery at the stall door! My new rescue mare nuzzles you fondly then nips! and disappears back into her stall as if… Read more »
Kathy Cavanah
Guest
Kathy Cavanah
2 years 7 months ago

Hey Caroline,

Never thought about my horse thinking I am stubborn or lazy or uninspiring. Something new to ponder.

When my horse comes into my space uninvited he is being rude.

Eeva Miller
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Eeva Miller
2 years 7 months ago

My definition of being rude is nudging me when I am opening a gate. This happens sometimes when I forget to make him stand a few feet behind me. When we were having saddle fit issues, he would threaten me with a bite but not actually bite me. I really think he was communicating that “This is not good yet!!! Get it right!!!” Just wish he could speak English better than I can speak Horse.

Stina
Guest
2 years 7 months ago

“Maybe, your horse might say that YOU are uninspiring, lacking desirable leadership, boring, out of sorts, controlling or uninspiring.
Name calling will just create more separation.”

Great blog – we can call horses all sorts of names, not realizing where the horses behavior come from or how to deal with it.

Ulrike Kraft
Guest
Ulrike Kraft
2 years 7 months ago
Dear Carolyn, thank you for this amazing offer! [email protected] When I was trying to think of anything rude Sirocco does, the only thing I could think of was the problem with holding up the hooves long enough to finish the trim. You pointed out to me that this is in the performance category which I agree with, only that he used to be fine with me trimming his hooves. It makes me feel like I’m a little pest he tries to shake off his leg. I think he gets bored and annoyed with me. I’m happy to find the problem… Read more »
Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago

Ulrike,
I love what you said that you are happy to find the problem on your side, if you knew what to do differently. That is the challenge isn’t it? There are two sorts of horsemanship in my opinion, the ones who are ready to take the ‘blame’ and the ones who want to always attribute blame to the horse . . . I love the former people, because that way, there is always something to learn and their horses are REALLY lucky to be with those people.
Regards,
Jan

Kelly
Guest
Kelly
2 years 7 months ago

I approach my horse respectfully, ask her for her foot politely, pick her hoof then as I’m gently lowering it she stomps it down in the case of the front foot or kicks out a bit in the case of the back foot, I think this behaviour is rude.

Sharlene
Guest
Sharlene
2 years 7 months ago

My horse will put his ears back when I pass by him, But have to say this has improved dramatically since I’ve started ST.
Moving and or looking around when being tacked up is another one we’re working on.

Stephanie Morse
Guest
2 years 7 months ago

The snatching at grass when being lead. However, if the leader (me) is paying attention, I can stop the grab before it starts. But how do I connect with the horse so he doesn’t want to grab that grass when being lead?

Bonnie Beresford (WRIC 2010, 2011,2012, BTWHR 2012)
Guest
Bonnie Beresford (WRIC 2010, 2011,2012, BTWHR 2012)
2 years 7 months ago
Dear Carolyn. I thought that your definition of “rudeness” in last week’s comments was very good: you said that rude behavior is an action which is initiated by the horse, directed toward you, which is anti-social. So it wouldn’t be rude for a horse to ignore you or walk away from you even if you were in the process of making a request, because this is not really directed toward you. I also think that we can misinterpret normal horse behavior as rude when it is not. An example would be with a young horse that is new to you,… Read more »
Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago

Bonnie, that was a lovely post, and I have been most interested to read what other people have thought ‘rudeness’ in a horse might be . . . things I would never have thought of, and in some ways, paid no attention to. You have presented such a balanced viewpoint in all that you have said.

Jan

Mary Pearsall
Guest
2 years 7 months ago

Hi Carolyn,
I just finished your book, and all I can say is wow, thank you for such a wonderful story and learning experience. What I consider rude behavior in my horse is yes, being pushy for treats, when I ask a command for attention and he would rather ignore me,is this an opportunity for leadership advancement? when circling (driving) at liberty and he tries to move forward into my space- and not because I am drawing him in with my body language.

Jill Mora
Guest
Jill Mora
2 years 7 months ago

When I spend a fair amount of time mucking his paddock, placing all the manure in a wheelbarrow. He waits until I’ve turned my back and then grabs the handles and dumps the whole thing out and gives me an innocent look, like “who me?” Now that is just RUDE!

Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago
Dear Jill, while I totally sympathise with you after all that work, I think it is actually hilarious rather than rude! I am sure you do too, as it was reported with tongue in cheek is my guess . . . I think opportunistic would be another word. My pony eats his feed in one half of ‘my’ shed, and there is hay and feed in the other part amongst other things . . . usually I have a pull across screen which I usually remember to do when he is in there eating breakfast, but if I forget, guess… Read more »
Jill Mora
Guest
Jill Mora
2 years 7 months ago

Hi Jan,

Actually I really think it’s hilarious too! I think he picks up on the fact that I find it funny and has developed the game for us to play. His punishment is to get his backside scratched with a soft plastic fan rake, which he LOVES and makes cute “OOOO and AHHHH” faces. If a movie part comes up in Hollywood that requires a horse to dump a wheelbarrow, my horse is ready! 🙂

Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago

Jill, I LOVE these cheeky and mischievous horses who have absolutely no malice whatsoever and just want to play. My standardbred fits that category as well . . . he goes in to my playground and tips up chairs, table, knocks the cones off posts, anything which can be knocked over, he does it . . . then I go back and rearrange it all, to begin all over again. I guess I did call it a playground, so in a way, I am happy he can play even when I am not there!

Jan

Jill Mora
Guest
Jill Mora
2 years 7 months ago

Jan, it sounds like those two could have a blast playing together. 🙂

Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago

Jill, pity you live in another country, or we could arrange a get together and watch them play!! I live in Australia!

Jan

Jannie Smit, Australia Ivanhoe and Paradox
Guest
Jannie Smit, Australia Ivanhoe and Paradox
2 years 7 months ago

ps I meant expecting not accepting in my previous reply…..

Jannie Smit, Australia Ivanhoe and Paradox
Guest
Jannie Smit, Australia Ivanhoe and Paradox
2 years 7 months ago
Dear Carolyn, A very interesting question. I think most of the time we are rude by not paying enough attention towards our horse. By asking things with not really having the intention or thinking about others things at the same time. By accepting things of our horse because they did do it once so well and we want the same result again. By not giving the horse enough time to respond to our question or by not being clear enough and consistent enough. I think I can keep going on and on why we are most of the time rude… Read more »
Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago

Jannie, I really like this – I agree wholeheartedly that most often it is us being more rude to a horse than a horse would ever be rude to us.
Jan

Melissa
Guest
Melissa
2 years 7 months ago

I would love a link to a webinar!
My horse is “rude” when he automatically expects a treat and folows up by nudging me or pushing himself into my space. (Although I may have invited this behaviour by hand feeding treats in the past…!)

Jan
Guest
Jan
2 years 7 months ago
Ah Caroline, I would not consider my horses rude, momentary lapse on rare occasions, but I love webinars! So, here I am, saying that when I prepared my horses food, and he first fiddled with the top of the pin holding my little fence in place around the shed, and if that did not work, secondly, would strike it with his feet. That was unacceptable (rude?) behaviour. He was very inventive though . . . at first it was only fiddling with the top of the pin, so I would go out and gently ask him to back off and… Read more »
JoyNichols
Guest
JoyNichols
2 years 7 months ago

Rude would be nosing for treats too much, or rubbing too hard on me. Grabbing grass and not coming along when being led. Walking too slow or too fast when being led.

Jayne Forster NooNoo,IC,UK
Guest
Jayne Forster NooNoo,IC,UK
2 years 7 months ago

Dear Carolyn, a webinar how exciting!

Jayne Forster NooNoo,IC,UK
Guest
Jayne Forster NooNoo,IC,UK
2 years 7 months ago

I think my horse is rude when I have approached her correctly, we are connected and happy together,then on the odd moment she will just come into my space with her shoulder, she takes me showing her the boundary and is polite again,so its only a momentary lapse of Rudeness/trying me out/testing the boundaries.Occasionally she will also try to take the hay from me without waiting,I don t know that its rude more like kids testing where the line is. She is always ok about the correction so maybe she knows its rude!

Dunia
Guest
Dunia
2 years 7 months ago

I think my horse is being rude when I am taking him to a pasture and he tries to take advantage of me by pulling the rope With which I am holding him and tries to run away.

Takes space and then kicks me to be free. I can tell it hurt my feelings more than my back (which was kicked).

This after four months of taking personal care of him, groomed him, massaged him and try to approach in the more non predator way I know.

Suz Barnes
Guest
2 years 7 months ago
Rude behavior in a horse can be several things like walking over the top of you, not giving you space, biting, kicking, being pushy, turning their butts to you when you walk up, pawing etc. I know my 1 1/2 filly is RUDE! She is pushy, she will bite, she rears up, with no halter on. If you do have a halter on her she acts very different, she is still pushy but not as bad if you just go into her stall. She also it a chewer, she will grab just about anything near her to play with, your… Read more »
lynn cherry
Guest
lynn cherry
2 years 7 months ago
Sometimes, when I clean out the hind hooves, my horse kicks at me. He always tolerates the front hooves nicely. By giving him treats when he does NOT kick at me, I have lessened the kicking, but it bothers me that he occasionally does this. And sometimes, after riding, as I lead him to the pasture and remove his halter, he will rip his head out of the halter, whirl and kick out at me. Not very often, but just once every few months, enough to remind me that he could hurt me if he wanted to. I try to… Read more »
Suzy Boyd
Guest
Suzy Boyd
2 years 7 months ago
Hello to all the horse lovers.I have to admit I have just come across Carolyn and would love to know more about this method. I have spent many years learning Natural Horsmanship and keep an open mind.We are all on this wonderful journey and the learning never ends. I do believe we need to be a leader and earn the respect of the horse, with that respect, the horse gives us space and does not try to kick, bite etc .Do we create so many of our problems because we expect them to think like us? I love to spoil… Read more »
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