Harmony, trust and being in the moment
Feb 2nd, 2010 by Carolyn
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When I look back on my experience with the wild horses, what it meant to me then and what it means to me now, I realize I have never lost sight of the importance of horses and the natural environment.
Horses have impacted our lives throughout history, and nature promotes their well-being through the harmony of diversity. I appreciate life and wait to be in harmony with my environment before I act. To know horses as deeply as I know them comes from my understanding of harmony. Harmony is not made, it is found. Harmony in nature is the most trusted element in life and is the basis of the success I share with horses.
Humans honor intelligence. We spend time thinking. Horses honor instinct. They spend time being in the moment.
Working with horses is one way people can learn to be here now and get in touch with their instincts. We normally think of instincts as base but I think of instinct as being plugged into the universal connection… and when you are, you do not make mistakes!
Instinct is just as deep and rich as intelligence. Animals know what time it is. They do not run around with wrist watches. More and more, people are depending on machines to tell them what is going on in the world. Animals FEEL it.
Horses also have a natural understanding of when individual rights supersede the rights of the community and when community rights supersede the rights of the individual. That is something about which human beings could use more clarity.
Horses have feelings of guilt. It is what makes them trainable. If a horse bites you and by your response you show him that you did not deserve to be bitten, he will feel bad. Horses bite to find out what’s happening inside and the situation and your response shows them. So, working with horses will teach you what is inside yourself
When I began to share my Method, it was because of my love for horses and my love for empowering people to work with their horses in a way that builds enthusiasm and self-worth. But as you can see there is much more to this experience than that. There is a give and take of information that weaves a tapestry of understanding and a foundation of trust.
When we learn to be in the moment with a horse, we are not only honoring his spirit and gift we are giving ourselves the opportunity to connect with a power beyond ourselves. It is like letting go and watching a mystery unfold before you. My Method encourages you to make this commitment to yourself and your horse and build a harmonic relationship of trust that honors the intelligence and instinct of both horse and human.
Carolyn
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Got so into the story that I did not really reply to your blog the way I wanted to.
I am sharing space with the hroses every chance I get. I do miss days sometimes when my spine hurts too much to drive, but since I share by using a comfy folding canvas chair so I am able to do it for long periods of time.
After reading your Naked Liberty and watching utube videos. I took a pocket full of alfafa pellets with me. (I haven’t been haltering any of the horses for weeks.) The babies love the new game and we do serpentines and stop and start, they are willing to trot but they are very careful of me, and show how they are aware of my being crippled by how they position their bodies and how close they get. Sometimes I get too tired, but when I do, they will offer themselves as a leaning place.
It gets me tried really fast, as teh pasture is extremely uneven, but its so much fun, and I end up rejoicing at being out of my wheelchair and playing with horses again.
One of the mares now follows me too and I give her an treat too once in a while. The other mare is still leary and thinks I will suddenly produce a halter and trap her. She follows at a distance. ALl of them come close when I sit in the chair, and even she will creep up for a handful of pellets now and then.
I have a strong helper who is going to start sitting with us in case my diabetes gives me trouble or my spine goes out, so I am not alone etc. While I can not run yet, I have figured out how to do this weird little crouching walk that is enough for a trot even in the rough sections of the pasture, and now I am starting the lead from behind exercise… (Hey I couldn’t even walk two years ago, so this is a huge improvement…)
I see and hear so much more with the horses. Your method is so amazing I can see my relationship grow with each passing hour. I can see them think and ponder all that I do, and the bond is growing so deep… I had only dreamed of a bond like this. This is everything I promised myself I would do as I lay bedridden from cancer. This is so awesome… I am being reborn!
Thank you! Thank you! thank you!
I loved your post, but have a question… I was in the paneled pen with a bucket of grain so the four month old fillies could eat without the big mares taking their grain. (Oh, they were five months old.)
One day one of the fillies was slow to come up while the other two were glad to come up. (I had been doing this for a week, and they were free to come and go, the panels were too close for the mares to come in though.)
I held the bucket at arms length so she could still get it without having to come up to me and all of a sudden her ears went back and she lunged forward and bit the holy hell out of my arm. In shock i just reacted without thinking and chased her out of the pen. Its hard to explain… i felt like my ears were flat back and I was enraged… the picture in my mind was of a wild stud i had seen run a colt off from the herd.
OK, I had a lot of blood loss and my sugar dumped instantly, so I guess that has something to do with my reaction, (not unusual for diabetics to get flashes of anger or get seriously cranky when their sugar falls) but I was really shocked at myself afterwards at how I reacted so totally without thought. It really bothers me still six months later.
What should I have done? I felt so guilty I gave her and her mother to a good friend of mine who is runs a youth group and works with horses.
Still feel like a monster…
Thanks Marja,
glad you got a good feeling from the story… I’m still very ‘warm & fuzzy’ this morning too! These things are a ‘soul tonic’… a strong one.
Oh Moyna, your story brought tears to my eyes… Wonderful…
Dear Carolyn & all,
I wanted to share this story because it is a testament to how much ‘connection’ I have learned through doing the WRs.
There is one horse where I have Hero agisted who was badly hurt (beaten) in his past life, so he is very skeptical of people, hard to approach & sometimes bites! I could sense his hurt, so I have made a big effort to befriend him, by letting him call the shots… it’s taken a long time & 3 bites, but we got there in the end.
He is a very powerful 15.3hh Appy x Andalusian rig, called Brandy Snap.
Anyway, today I found him with both front legs caught & tangled in a wire fence (not barbed, thank goodness!) He was frozen & trembling in fear, I don’t know how long he’d been caught there.
At first I thought I should call someone for help, but then a voice inside said “no, you can do this, just trust him, he needs you.”
So I took a deep breath & calmed myself to find my ‘centre’. Then I called his name softly, asking him if he wanted me to help him. The look in his eyes said ‘yes, please hurry, I think I might explode soon!’
Hero tried to follow me, but I asked him ‘no, not now, you stay there.’ He did.
The situation was made harder because Brandy has an abcess in one hoof at present!
I stood close, put my hands on his wither & heart zone and quietly told him what I was going to do. I could feel the ‘electricity’ coming off his body!
It took a few attempts to untangle one leg, then the other, but he lifted each foot & let me hold it while I pulled the wire away with my other hand.
I know it hurt him a lot to put all his weight on the sore foot, but he let me!
When he was free he just stood there… still upset & pounding adrenalin, I guess.
I leant into his shoulder & just breathed with him, telling him ‘it’s all OK now Brandy, your free.’
Then, something so beautiful happened, I am still quite emotional…
he turned his head round & tucked his nose under my armpit, against my chest & sighed… a very deep sigh. We stayed like that for a minute or so, then I very softly asked him to take a step backwards, so that he could really feel that the wires were gone. Then I left him alone to recover his composure.
The WRs have helped me so much… 6 months ago I would not have had the faith in my own abilities with horses to try something like this, with any horse… let alone this ‘mountain’ of terrified horse!
So, thank you Carolyn, from my heart to yours…
Your greatest lessons for me are faith & trust, if we can achieve these 2 things, then all things are possible.
Much love & whinneys,
Moyna
Hi Carolyn
I am learning, enjoying and still interested in reading your instructions. Hope everything is well with you. I am in the process of building a small barn for Falki. Instead of boarding him, I will bring him home where he belongs so I can take care of him and we can be together sharing time and space.
Betsy Sonnenberg
October 2009 student
Carolyn-
What an important point you make about how horses help people to get in touch with their instincts! It is so important to feel and listen to what our gut tells us, it is very helpful around horses and in life in general
Thanks,
Lori
Thanks Carolyn, an inspirational post and good timing for me.
Great post, Carolyn. Thanks! With all the rains recently the pastures have become really wet, so I closed the gate out to the main road and let the horses out of their pastures, out of the sodden fields, to wander the whole property as they wish… they feel much more like horses now, somehow. The three older rescues, I think, have never felt so free… and their confidence and trust seems to be expanding too, as, I guess, old memories give up to new ways of being and feeling… I think I’ll keep it this way for them much more often than just during wet weather…
Stuart
Joanna posted this:
Thank you for another inspirational post. Your sentiments resonate deeply; all the seasons hold something new to get me excited, a hooting owl in winter for example (I sometimes share territory by moonlight.
I can immagine that for sure, we have been in the Dartmoor last summer, it is a beautyfull place. (even so the Exmoor, we had visit all the moors(
So we have sit the same as you in the moonlight between the pony´s.
a very wonderful post.. it gives a very good insight about horses.. do you think that horses are more beautiful to be watched when they are free rather than when they are not?
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you for another inspirational post. Your sentiments resonate deeply; all the seasons hold something new to get me excited, a hooting owl in winter for example (I sometimes share territory by moonlight, and no, I don’t get out that much!!!). The changes have an effect on the herd in myriad ways and I often find myself mirroring the mood and running and jumping with them when a storm is brewing or lying down in the sun, often in a circle! Sharing your vision of harmonic horse human relations we have recently opened the Natural Equestrian Centre on Dartmoor; a place of contemplation and connection, just minutes away from the herds of feral, native ponies. It would be wonderful to link with certified trainers in your method in the UK and Europe, and students of your method, to discuss the possibility of hosting workshops at the centre.
http://naturalequestriancentre.com/
Joanna
Dear Carolyn,
)
This post summes up why I love your system and wish to learn more and more from you.
I am with Christian on this: Its going to hang in the stable so I can see it all the time. Along with the no-fault insurrance for my horses.
Sometimes its easy to get caught up in daily life and this post will bring me ‘back to my senses’ and remind me of whats important.
All the best
Tonnya
PS a little funny story. I was baking vanilla muffins but forgot them because I was watching one of Stinas beautiful videos.
Nevermind ! Muffins arent that good
Carolyn, another wonderful post. I too listen more to my horses now. It is very icy out at the moment and I now wear ice cleats so I have no problems with the footing. But now when I bring my horses up I give them plenty of lead rope and let them decide the safest route to take. I see a pleasant “thank you for listening to me” look on their faces and that makes me very happy:)
Hello everyone! Carolyn, thank you for such a succinct and heartfelt post today…well, they all are but this one especially touched me. I love hearing everyone’s thoughts…all of them are beautiful!
To Marja van Run = type your reply in a separate word document and when you have it finishedl, copy and paste it into this blog. That way if you lose it, you will still have a copy to re-post.
Love,
Laura
Thank you, Carolyn for a wonderful blog. Lots of snow and very cold here, so it is a nice bit of “stuff to ponder about”.
Ooooh boy… Just tried to post a story, but forgot to state my name, and the whole post went ‘down the drain’…
!
Feel rather sick today so don’t have the energy to type the whole thing again… But anyhow, great blogpost Carolyn, thanks
P.S.: would it be technically possible to save a typed text, so that when forgetting name or e-mail adress and returning to the former page, the text is still there?
Hello Carolyn,
Thank you again for another lovely, thought provoking post. I’m struck in this week’s writing in your statement that horses have feelings of guilt. I’ve never thought about this before in all my years being around horses. I’d love for you to expand on this. How can the human know if a horse feels guilt and also feels bad? What behavioral response does the horse display when she or he is guilt ridden? For sure, I’ll ponder on this as this is a new and interesting concept for me.
What I love is the feeling that it is okay to just hangout doing nothing with your horse, and not having any set time schedule. Right now I’m experiening enjoyable times being in the moment with my companion.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and gift of horse communication and that of nature.
Best regards,
Barbara
birroyal@aol.com
Beautiful description! Being in the moment is a lofty goal. I am eagerly awaiting my copy of Naked Liberty.
Thanks for the post.
Always it seems my days experience is reflected in you blog post. I was reminded today of an experience I had as a child and something that happened between me and my mare today.
When I was a young girl one day I was riding my QH on the trails and we came to a spot which seemed to be normal and he refused to go. I thought in my infinite youth wisdom (and strong will) that surely there was nothing wrong with this spot and he was just being stubborn. After much arguing, I insisted he go on. He complied finally and we sunk up to his back in a bog. I couldn’t see it but he knew it was there and was trying to tell me. I was alone and didn’t know what to do. I apologized to him for not trusting his judgement and asked him with everything he had to get us out. He scrambled and fought his way out somehow to solid ground. He saved us both. From that day on I swore I would never doubt my horses wisdom when he refused to do something there was a good reason!
Today I was riding my mare outside and I was letting her pick her way through the icy footing. She is a very cautious mare and she found a path she liked. On the way back to the barn, I suggested a path I wanted to go. She said no, I asked her to go a bit to the left or right and she said no. I took her back the exact way she had chosen before and she said yes, that is the way we should go. It is the safest. I don’t argue with my horses anymore!
Thank you for that moment to consider our “true” connections. Not only allowing those connections with our horses, but with everything we do, would make this planet a WHOLE DIFFERENT PLACE!
My favorite example of what animals do which humans DO NOT (and could learn a thing or two about), is the way dogs so EXCITEDLY and HAPPILY greet a newcomer! Could you imagine if people were so open and happy and enthusiastic about strangers?! WOW! That would be fun!
In WHR journeys lately, I have been doing a lot of companion walking these days… its about the only thing I can do in this cold and icy-slickness around here. On Sunday, the owner of the place I board at had a big fire going in a pit near the paddocks. Without ANY tack, at complete liberty, I was able to convince my mare to follow me past the fire! WOW what an honor that was!
My first request was answered by “ARE YOU CRAZY?!” and she ran off about 20 feet away and turned around to see that I was still standing there. With some mild coaxing, she came back, lingered about 2 feet from me (about 5 ft from the fire), turned to leave but stopped and turned around immediately when I asked her to stay. My 3rd request was met with her following me but she took the LONG way around- 6ft or so, around a tree, over a PLASTIC TARP, just so as to do as I asked but avoid the fire. She did that route 1 more time and on my 5th request, she followed me directly at my side, the fire directly on my right, her on my left! No fuss, issues, fear, leaping ahead.
It was awesome!
Sadly, the barn owner, who does not understand why I spend so much time doing liberty work, and just ‘hanging out’ did not think my horse walking past a fire, in total control, without any tack, was a big deal! I guess it really only matters to Solana and I!!
Nicole
Dear Carolyn,
heartfelt thanks for this inspiring post. I just came in the house from working with my mare Lili when I found your new blog entry. We had done UE’s and then rode. It had been such a great and fulfilling session, and even before reading your blog, I was reflecting on our progress over the last months. There is lightness, there is enthusiasm, there is harmony. More and more I only think trot and there is trot, think halt and there is halt, think shoulder fore, and there is shoulder fore. Then I read your blog and you said it all so clearly and beautifully. Lili taught me so clearly that there is no joy for her or me in making her do things. It is this mysterious watching it unfold that you talk about.
I’m going to print out this blog and frame it on the wall.
Christian
Carolyn, thanks for this beautiful post.
Animals in general are maligned by modernist industrialized society, or at least that variant of it on which so many of us were raised (’56 here), told in our very classrooms that a wonderful robot-driven world awaited us whicfh would relieve us of the “tedious slavery” of agriculture. Remember the Jetsons anyone? People got rid of horses in the quotidian life only 50 years ago – my husband remembers horses pulling the ice, milk and garbage wagons growing up in St. Paul even in the late ’50′s.
Pardon me for pasting in a bit from our emerging memoir in defense of animals:
“One can but marvel at the human race. What is said to distinguish us from beasts is intelligence and communication, among other things, not to mention the vast network of “modern science” which boots us past our history of agriculture. But plenty of creatures develop architecture, create vast societies, gather and store food, raise young together and somehow communicate with one another about it all in orderly ways, even with great finesse, generally with no wars breaking forth among species. Unfortunately humans have mistaken the collective, passive hypnosis of television for communication, while any insect colony does a superior job of caring for its own society than some modern human ones. Humans believe that by submitting to these cathode rays, they are caring for the rest of their species, while remaining unacquainted with neighbors all around them.”
Thanks Carolyn for getting us back in touch with horses and all the rest. You do us such a good deed by writing your blog here.
How true are your words “Letting go and watching a mystery unfold!” Yes! How true I’ve found this to be in the 2 years I’ve been following your Method, Carolyn!
The latest gift my horse has given me is a move he recently first tried out out for himself while we were doing a small circle. I’ve learned it’s a move natural to horses, but I’d never seen a horse do the move before; so it was thrilling to both watch and feel his energy! Last night I was reviewing the Nevzerov Haute Ecole dvd and saw one of his horses doing the move my horse has been doing – not quite so gracefully and elegantly, of course, but the heart, energy and beginning steps are there.
So I began searching the web to find out more about this move and found a helpful YOUTUBE video by The Art of Natural Dressage wherein several movements are shown and briefly explained. I identified the move as the terre a terre, which I’d never heard of! (I was glad to see the AND video stresses playing at liberty which you advise.) I have no dressage goals with my TWH; I just revel in and give thanks for the harmony, trust, and mystery of being in the moment with my horse!
It is indeed a thrilling thing to “watch the mystery unfold!” My horse now does his move when we run and walk together in straight lines too, and his balance and body awareness are improving. Thank you for so much, Carolyn.
Carolyn,
I wasn’t as skillful as I could have been but True just gave me a piece of your discussion. I brought her mother in and she followed in, I asked her to leave and she in the past has been very challenging. She was quiet, seemed searching and considering. It all seemed to be going slower than my mind thought it should, so I continued to ask and decided to praise for each step or turn in the right direction. She then quietly choose to leave. This doesn’t sound like much but no pinned ears, no barging, kicking or dramatic refusal. She is beginning to consider my requests and is adding new pieces daily or faster responses. We have so far to go but it is the consideration I am being given that seems to be the change. I was sort of stuck because I had put her mom on a halter and had grabbed what turned out to be a lame reed and I was asking for an unusual sequence to the turn out and who in what paddocks. I took the reed just in case True challenged my plan or got goofy since I was taking her mom. I am I think, beginning to see a pattern that her cooperation tends to be slow at first and then speed up as she chooses to get along. I think I have been expecting the responses to be more rapid and if I carefully watch her ears this is her style at least for now. True is just beginning to stand with open gates in the barn and not cross over the immaginary line of the stall. And just Saturday I asked her to stand in a different place and she was able to apply it as a request of a similiar kind. She really put a lot of try and lots of facial and postural expression in her trys. The hardest part for me is to determine when to call the time enough since she has been so difficult. I am rethinking about the quality of the try and where is the peak effort to keep her encouraged. Although she is better with me than anyone else much of the time I think she has in the past considered me to be an annoying enforcer and that we are now moving to this new place of positive. The doorway seems to be our turning point of communication. Carolyn you should have seen a few months back what it took to get her to move off hay and go to another pile. I started out being completely ignored no matter how much swishing I did. That has changed and everyday she is getting softer. It seems with her the return of trust over defence aggression is at its own pace but is improving steady now. The first step seems to be losing the negative reaction, then a slow response moving to dependable response with good willing attitude and finally to acting even perhaps before my request if she thinks she knows what is expected. This is so unlike anything I have ever experenced. We have really been working on ears and they are really complex in their messages. One of the things I did note was even though she had become untrusting of humans after the veterinary/illness issues(and in some ways I failed to protect her and so she took over) she has always been nice to the sheep and baby lambs and has never shown any aggression to them even though she can pick them up if she chose at any time or stomp them as she lives with or within reach 24/7. On isolated occasions she will move them but does so gently as if slowly moving cows. Lambs have run into her stall and all around her and she just stands there looking at them, no snorting. Sometimes she is napping with Raisin in the field and the sheep just walk right next to her and she doesn’t even get up. She tried to take over all the other horses a few months back but they each took back the lead role in their own unique way within a few days and she stopped most all that stuff also and seems happy to not be in charge. I have noted she does not give the other horses negative ears except briefly to move out of thier requested zone. If a storm is comming up and she does gets lit they stay out of her way and then regain control from a postion of their own choosen safety zone(something for us all to note.) She has always come when called in or out, waits for permission to enter and I am grateful for that. Her diet change is almost complete and I am sure this is also having an effect on her moods because she appears to be in less discomfort. We are having great fun, with the rest of the herd and on most days we need no halters as all the horses come and go with us. This is big because they didn’t arrive comming when called or going where we asked. Raisin in particuliar would never come when called you had to get him. John is having so much fun companion walking with him now that he is less aloof. Thank you again Carolyn for assisting us in learning how to better observe them we have learned a great deal from thier teachings. We really enjoy the horses “in nature” with the sheep (this is not always safe depending on the horses warning). Just last night the oldest pet sheep had for the first time joined Prefect to share his soaked food. No ill feeling on Pref’s part. it was very interesting to observe.
Thanks Carolyn, as always.
Stuart
Dear Carolyn,
Since I started reading your blog, watching your DVD’s and also reading your books, I am most definately more in the moment with my horses than perhaps I have ever been. I am hanging out and enjoying the connection they give me, particularly wih my coming 4 yr old Micah. I am realizing that my agendas and plans are not theirs and it is giving me a much more thoughtful and meaningful way of being with them. It is also actually giving me a quite a bit of relief in that I have no time frame anymore where I have to have Micah doing this and learning that and this is my goal etc. My agenda now is not to have one! I think Micah is going to enjoy that. I want to do things at a pace that is comfortable and comforting to both of us. I have apologized to both of my horses for the times I have been in too much of a hurry and also being too strong when I felt justified. I don’t think I was justified looking back at some of those times. Thank you Carolyn for always giving me food for thought and much meditation.
Regina
Bravo Carolyn! Your sentiments were beautifully expressed and fully taken to heart. That magical, instinctual connection is what we’re all seeking. Thank you for not only helping us find that with our own horses, but for continuing to emphasize how important that bond is for all of us. –Carol
Very nice post. Thank you Carolyn.
Evergreen
Dear Carolyn,
Just on my way to play with my horses, and thought I would try one last time today to see if I had any posts on email. Happy to find your blog post.
I have been breathing deeply before starting the UE with my horses. It rests my heart and helps me focus. When I “ask”, I exhale, and my horses are starting to do the same. I enjoy my time with them just hanging out, and it seems they do too. Now if the cold would abate!
On my way out now, thanks for the post.
Toni