How to Approach Leadership With Horses While Having Fun
Nov 17th, 2011 by Carolyn Resnick
Leadership with horses is so easy.
They are herd animals. It is natural for horses to lead and to follow. But when we begin to train they can seem to be resistant to the whole idea of us taking a leadership role with them. Often this response is because the person training the horse is resistant to having to take on the role as leader. What I hope to do in this blog is to influence the reader to see that training and shaping behavior through leadership at liberty is an enjoyable endeavor.
Hillside Arena – Maestro
Making a Good Relationship Great.
When a horse shows resistance to our leadership it is usually caused from not pushing hard enough, pushing too hard, or we are offering a program that is not appropriate for the horse in the moment. Since good relationships are developed though trial and error this back and forth is desirable because it exposes the true path we need to take with our horse to gain unity and harmony through leadership.
We have 1 spot available in the December Beyond The Waterhole Rituals clinic!
Please email web@carolynresnick.com if you would like to join us!
Finding The Joy.
The way I approach a horse each day is that I have an agenda for what I think would be enjoyable while being a leader. By doing this when my horse greets me I offer him security and cause him to be interested in what I have in mind. Curiosity is so important to develop in a horse. It is a great way to keep his interest and enthusiasm for learning. I never pick a goal that I would see as something I would dread or that would drain my energy because my horse would react negatively to my attitude and energy.
What we hope to gain using my method is a horse that looks forward to our leadership as the best part of his day. Everything on earth stays younger from learning new things. The support from leadership skills is something a horse cannot resist. But there is a big part of the puzzle that must be taking into consideration when plans are formed. We must be willing to give up our agendas as soon as we see that our horse needs some support in another direction. For example: As many of you know we are two weeks away for the Beyond the Waterhole Rituals Clinic so we are preparing for this event. I am preparing three of my horses to function as School Masters. I need to have horses that will perform easily at liberty so that my students can practice Dancing at Liberty. At the Beyond The Waterhole Rituals clinic, we are offering many exercises where it takes one horse and two humans to practice. One day I got up and was very excited to practice because we had so much fun practicing Team Leadership Exercise the day before. In this exercise you direct a horse around a small arena (42×70) with two people to develop a leader into a team player. It is fun and teaches a horse to find his pace and self carriage easily while the two people are focused on timing, rhythm, unity and harmony. It is great fun because you can feel your skill growing quickly and the horse’s gait becomes beautifully active and fluid for dressage through this shared teamwork game.
Keep Your Agenda Working For You.
One day I took Maestro out to the new Hillside Arena but I noticed he was a bit nervous. I felt that if I turned him loose and asked for this lively game at liberty he would not have felt safe enough to enjoy it so I had to throw my agenda out the window. Instead I choose to walk him around with a lead rope in both directions to let him find comfort. We walked for 40 minutes until he felt fluid and comfortable. Then we spent about 10 minutes on the Team Leadership Exercise that I wanted to start at the beginning. To keep agendas from working against you, you have to be willing to change them. Again the reason to have an agenda is because if you have a plan the horse will want to follow your lead because of the energy your plan has created in you.
I picked these pictures to show the moments of connection that we want to keep consistent with a horse when we have our horse at liberty. Enjoy!! Have a wonderful weekend and watch out for new horse and human sightings, may the horse be with you.
Warmly,
Carolyn
PS We have 1 spot available in the December clinic!
Please email web@carolynresnick.com if you would like to join us!
Carolyn & Chip
Kai & Maestro
Sharolyn and Sonadar – The First Kiss to the First Dance:
No related posts.
Its been some time since I last posted but I stilll ALWAYS read the blog. I was missing last Thursday’s blog- as it, I felt lost with out my bi-weekly ritual. But alas… I am Canadian and forgot it was Thanksgiving!!
So, I will post now to GIVE THANKS for all that Carolyn Resnick’s method has given me over the past 3 years with my wonder-horse (arent’ they all!?!) I am also fortunate to be surrounded my many other horse people at my boarding stable that are interested in creative play and relationship building and have encouraged me to develop along with my horse.
Last week I turned my mare out into the arena with another rider- Solana was loose, the other rider was doing all kinds of fun and exciting things (pulling a tarp around, pole work, small jumps, standing around,etc). I wanted Solana to have some fun, maybe even feeding off the energy of the other horse. Instead- she stuck to me like GLUE! Even when the other horse came by at a canter, she kept one ear cocked on me the entire time and although her body said “I WANT TO RACE”, she asked me “what do YOU want me to do- leader?” That was really cool to see. And then I encouraged her to play with the other horse and NOT worry about me as much (the other rider was very enthused about the whole idea of a loose horse and was willing to play safely and in an encouraging manner).
It was lots of fun and while my girl is prone to being a show off as it is, she actually did an entire circle around ME in passage, then stopped and snorted to tell the world she’s hot stuff!!
Very liberating. Thank you Carolyn for giving me the tools to create a bond and friendship like this one! What’s so special about this is this is only my 2nd horse in my lifetime, and the first was 15 years ago and a VERY different experience!
Nicole
member of the inaugural Inner Circle Class (Summer??? of what year?! WHOOPEEE!)
Thank you Nicole for this inspiring and uplifting THANKSGIVING contribution. I have asked the cosmos to let people like me and you cross my path soon and often so my horse will be surrounded by the same creative-play-and-relationship-building-minded people like you and me are. Although at the same time I sincerely hope that in the meantime my fellow boarders do pick up some of my energy even if they are tiny bits.
Warmly, Geerteke
Carolyn,
You wrote:
“Curiosity is so important to develop in a horse. It is a great way to keep his interest and enthusiasm for learning. I never pick a goal that I would see as something I would dread or that would drain my energy because my horse would react negatively to my attitude and energy.”
How true.
One of the things I tell myself and my students is ‘develop the horse’s curiosity’ and, ‘don’t fight with your horse’. I see so many people trying to force their horse to do or accept something instead of showing and developing the horse’s curiosity.
I always have an agenda when I go out to see my horse, and it is always changing depending on the mood of my horse.
I have been playing with him at liberty more and more. He is now trying to engage me and asking me to play. I can see that his curiosity is up more now than on line, because he can leave if he wishes. I have taken your challenge to work at liberty to heart, and it is paying off.
I was away this past weekend, and left my horses in the hands of a good care taker and someone they know. She spends a lot of time with my horses, so I didn’t think they would miss me that much. Boy! was I wrong. After only two days away, Lyle, my Mustang, put his head in my arms and stood that way for for at least 20 seconds. He rarely lets me ‘hug’ his head, so this was unexpected and quite nice. If I had any doubts about how much my horse likes me, they vanished. After letting him out, he kept his eye on me while eating. I spent at least 45 minutes with him, and I could tell he liked it.
It made me pause and thank God for all He has given me.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone on the list, and to you Carolyn.
Toni
Hi Carolyn
I really appreciated this post. I’ve been tending to “go share territory” with my horses and see who wants to play, and that is usually a beautiful, up-lifting experience, but to add the excitement of “Hey guys, guess what I’m thinking of doing today!”, that really appeals, and I will try it out tomorrow. With , of course!, the intention to adapt to what happens, noticing it earlier rather than later and keeping my partner in a good place, relaxed, happy, intrigued, as much as I can.
Happy Thanksgiving and I hope your course goes really well
Sue (& Mimi, Pan, Ron, Zen, Will and Stewie)
Dear Susan,
Read your message. Thank you for staying in touch. My blessing to you and the gang.
Happy Thanksgiving,
Carolyn
Checkinr in, reading and chewing. I´ve got some resistence in my horse and I am working on my leadrship with him. I have had a hard time sending him away from me. Last week I felt that it was time to for this next step. I started to play with him and asked him to leave me. He runs away and turn around looking towards me with big eyes and a lot of energie. I asked him to move again and
Somehow I Submit the comment….
and he looked so satesfied and I guess I did to. I think I have to ask him to move around little more will help us in our connection.
he came up to me full of energie. I asked him to stop and stand still with a little distance from me and he did so. After that he joined me in a companien walk to the gate
Thanks from
Anna-Karin
Dear Carolyn,
beautiful blog again, thank you for sharing!
The pictures are also beautiful!
This blog reminds me of the things you told (I think it was) Leanne on the last conference call: a man taking his girlfriend or wife out to something special and then asking her ‘where do you want to go?’.
That example helped me a lot! I lost some balance at this point; letting go of my agenda… but also having a plan to make it interesting and fun to the horse.
Now I’m suggesting to my horse ‘I was thinking of doing this, would you like to do that?’ and I can feel the difference in her. She is much more excited and willing. And if we need to do something else I don’t mind to let go of my agenda.
So funny because lately I was sharing territory before starting to play with her and she literally pulled my book out of my hands with her teeth (very gently and careful) and looked at me like ‘I know what you’re up to… don’t just sit here… let’s play!’
So we did, we had a wonderful time and I did the ST afterwards.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
With Love,
Aline
checking in Carolyn
I’m going to forward the link to this post to a few of my horse owning buddies.
Read last week’s blog today too, and that one was uplifting as well.
hope you have a great Thanksgiving next week
hello Carolyn, thank you for a wonderful blog post.
I would like to have phone coaching with you to work on the dance with my mare- how exactly do i book this – i couldn’t find the paypal button on the training and coaching webpage?
many thanks,
Joanna
Hi Joanna, Please email web@carolynresnick.com and we will get you all set up with a coaching call.
CRM
Checking in. Great images. I so liked what you said Carolyn in response to Mary-
” No other animal has this ability to nurture the hearts of humans like a horse. I think the reason is that horses require that we get back to our true self. They return us to our personal power and wonder. ”
Such wonderful thinking. At this approaching time of Thanks-Giving, thank you Carolyn! Though I haven’t been with horses in several months now I continue to read and learn. What you say applies to so much of my life… it’s just fun getting it through horse talk! I got out of this post to be more decisive with my daily plans, friends, family, instead of wish-washy but with the willingness to let go and improvise. Much more interesting to be around huh?! I bet the horses will think so too when I get back to it!
Happy Thanksgiving.
Laura
Dear Laura,
Thank you, have a great Thanksgiving yourself. Yes, life is much more interesting when coming from the heart and remember not to blame anyone including our self when things go wrong by something we do or say. Staying real and communicating openly works.
Warmly,
Carolyn
Great story Carolyn. Your new arena looks great! Very cute picture of you and Chip and as I looked closer, I realized that is Charlie’s (Chip’s big brother) big, bald face standing behind you. =)
See you next week!
By the way Caroline, this is off topic, but I’ve got another ‘leading from behind’ video (in the herd), if you’re interested:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qfqKDmaP78
checking in, thank you for another wonderful blog.
One of the most important things I’ve learned is this, be prepared and willing to throw my agenda out of the window when the time or mood is not right.
Beautiful post, pictures and video.
I will tell you of a ride in the mountains with a friend of mine. When we got to the top of Horse Mountain, I was able to take the bridle off Micah and let him wander free because there was no way he was going to leave his other horse friend. It was a glorious cool day. We were all just enjoying nature and the incredible 360 degree views with the horses nibbling. I was a distance away from Micah but could tell he was keeping an eye on me. After a while, I called his name and he looked up at me. I asked him to come over to me and he started walking to me. I started walking faster and trotting a little. Micah did the same and trotted to me. When he got to me I said Whoa and raised my hands which is a signal to rear which he did. It was amazing to be on that mountain free of fences and he left his friend to come to connect to me. It felt great!
Love and blessings,
Regina
Dear Carolyn, thank you for this post. It touches me as I am experiencing more and more that leadership can be fun too. My feeling is getting so strong that I do not want it any way else anymore. And if it so happens that I am losing contact with that connection I do not feel right and happy. It could just as well be Marcello’s feeling I am picking up then. Even when riding very short spells these days after having warmed and loosened Marcello up when longreigning I will change my agenda instantly if the exchange between him and me requires that.
A little more than a week and I shall be meeting a bunch of beautiful people.
Warmly, Geerteke
Hello Carolyn,
))
I like Mary in comment #2 saying WWCD? – will have to remember that
I got a lesson yesterday morning in enforcing boundaries from Tea Jae (my QH mare). She and Spinner were eating their morning feed and I was standing as usual between them to make sure they don’t try to take each other’s feed.
Spinner started over towards Tea Jae’s bucket – I raised my stick softly to warn him to stay back – he ignored it and kept coming. Tea Jae raised her head and then lunged forward and bit him. He did not ignore that!
He’s not a sensitive horse, and I am seeing that Tea Jae who rarely needs to lead by biting or kicking (she gets results just by threatening) is still having to bite or kick him after several weeks. His manners are still rude towards human and horse, although he is getting better.
He seems to be more confident on line than at liberty, so obviously I need to improve my practice of the WRs! More ST, I’m sure would help.
Very interesting ideas on having an agenda and knowing when to discard it!
Wilma
Dear Wilma,
I would advise you with your horse spinner that you dive him away every few minutes with out reason so he starts listening to going rather than paying no attention to the needs of others.
When you knew how unwilling your horse is to being asked to leave it would have been better to raise your stick with a strong forceful attitude and direction rather than softly just like how your mare did.
Take your direction from her. I am curious why you choose softly with your stick with a horse that needed a loud signal?
Warmly,
Carolyn
Good morning, Carolyn
Thank you for your reminder!
I think I made a mistake by being optimistic – sometimes I am seeing him being soft and respectful, but it was a good reminder that he is not consistent enough for me to assume he will be respectful.
I think I was acting like a buddy rather than a leader, which resulted in Tea Jae taking over the leadership, where if I had been stronger and more aware, she would not have had to.
Thank you again, I will stay more focused on this challenge!
Wilma
What a beautiful topic! Life in general, and everyday life with our horses, seems to throw us “curve balls” so we have to be ready and willing to go with the flow! What ever that may be:) Just as you walked Meastro around for 40 min and were willing to do what it took to bring his energy to a calm and willing state.
Finding joy in the journey, working with what is
Thank You GREATLY !
XXOO
Alethia
Hello Carolyn, I was so excited to open this post because of that beautiful picture of Maestro and the title, Leadership with horses is so easy. Then to see the other pictures and video. So inspiring to me. I will commit to memory what you said”To keep agendas from working against you. you have to be willing to change them . Again the reason to have an agenda is because if you have a plan the horse will want to follow your lead because of the energy your plan has created in you.” Blessings to All~Lisa & Magnum
Dear Carolyn,
Learning to be flexible is one of the greatest teachings of your method and has had a tremendous impact on my relationship with my horses. Great blog!
Karin
Thank you for the blog. I am just learning to transfer my leadership and confidence from the ground to the back of the horse and I like it very much.
Sharolyn what a nice dance – its looking very good.
Kai – you and Maestro looking good and the new arena too, good job!
Hope to see you all again
Sun, Wind and Rain – Stina
Lila checking in. So excited to see you in California. Sounds like there is a lot going on, many new developments. Thank you for this beautiful reminder about how to support and allow. This seems like a helpful lesson for life as well. As always.
Lila
Oh my gosh Carolyn I am SO excited to play in Escondido! I am still not sure what music to bring so I hope it will be okay to borrow someone else’s for our dancing lessons.
PB continues to love the program. His gas pedal is getting better and better and the result is my leadership growing and then as I become clearer, he gets clearer too. We are setting up a small portion of our big arena for liberty work at the farm here. I think it will really enhance my work with PB as we start to work more with the last ritual
.
Thanks for a wonderful post–it’s a great explanation into why it’s good to have a plan and essential to be flexible and responsive to the needs of the horse in the moment. Great stuff.
Emily
Dear Emily,
No worries about the music. We are going to set up music that would inspire you. Looking forward to “clinicing” with you.
warm regards,
Carolyn
Hi,
Checking in. Carolyn, thank you for this brilliant post. I’ve often struggled to find the balance between having a plan and assuming my horse will go along with whatever I plan hehe. This post made it a lot clearer to me how I can have a plan and still be flexible. I love the way you described your time with Maestro to illustrate your point, it was very helpful.
I’m hopefully going to hang out with Gingy this afternoon, I’ll let you know how it goes, with all of these new things to try.
Your avid reader,
Grace.
Hi Carolyn,
Checking in! The pictures are beautiful!
Have a nice week-end,
Elodie
beautiful! loved how the pictures and video captured the moments of connection. thank you.
My 8mos old colt Takoma has calmed down so much since we started the EC course. He no longer tries to bite or push me around like another foal. All the horses are confined to the paddock (the only dirt area I have to work) while the pastures are recovering and sprouting the new seed we planted. decided to take Takoma out in the pasture at liberty to spend time with him away from his dam in prep for weaning and to hopefully work on his gas pedal. everyone is such a slug right now and I am having a hard time getting mine and their energy up. so I thought I could work on draw and send and maybe speeds if he kicked up his heels and cut loose in the pasture like he normally would at turnout.
hmmm. nope. he put his head down to graze and seemingly ignored my presence. So I walked on down to the pond to sit down in his view shed, and contemplate WWCD. Within a few minutes he called to me and came barreling down the hill to me. this wasn’t going to be a draw and send, so I asked him to whoa and then we companion walked for a bit which was huge. His mother Kate and the geldings frantically called for him, but he calmly walked with me further away from them, occasionaly whinnying back to reassure his herd mates.
when his interest and focus would wane, I’d wander off to check conditions of the pasture and leave him to graze. he’d always call to rejoin me in a few moments and I’d work on the draw and whoa. Then we’d do some companion walking. even got him to do a tiny bit of trotting. the send was not going to work at this time. He’d mostly follow me like he would his mom and I worked on trying to get him to walk at my shoulder by drawing him in or changing directions, etc.
We wandered over to say hello to his father Tahintate, who was very curious and concerned with all the hullabaloo from Kate. Takoma stayed behind my shoulder as dad was in his full glory, and his presence was very regal and imposing. tahintate sniffed my hand hello and visibly relaxed. takoma and I companion walked back to the barn, where he said a calm hello over the gate to his momma before rejoining the herd. Takoma is now asking, with some serious eye contact, to go out and spend more one on one time with me.
I know this is just a baby step on our journey together, but it was very special to me. I could really feel our connection. He could have left me at any time to rejoin his mother and herdmates at the barn, but he never did.
Laurinda
Laurinda,
Baby steps but really BIG baby steps I’d say. One of the things I find so fascinating is that YOU have the patience and ability to recognize the scale of what really occurred with Takoma. That he trusted you and left his herd to be with you really says something. You never did anything to jeopardize his trust. And he understands that you are really working at trying to communicate as best as you can.
I really love that you said what you felt about Takoma looking at you….it says your awareness is blossoming and what a beautiful thing for you both.
Your story not only gives me goosebumps but also a few tears of joy at such a lovely connection.
Really really nice!
Carrie
Dear Laurinda,
Thank you for sharing. Your experience, understanding and knowing is your guide to growing the working bond.
Warmly,
Carolyn
thank you Carrie and Carolyn!
Thanks Carolyn, for this beautiful post on having and keeping the necessary flexibility in our leadership role, a very important topic
.
Building relationships is really essential, and yes, fun! I have recently taken on the retraining of a horse that was labeled “dangerous” and “should be put down” by a previous trainer. I consider each successful day – even each successful experience – that I have with the horse to be like putting “money in the bank”, building up my credit account of trust with the horse.
Carolyn, thanks for a great article. I too walk my horse on line to help him connect to me when we first start our liberty work. It really helps. I want to tell you about an experience I had with my Nokota horse. He is the one that came off the plains of North Dakota in April. He is basically a wild horse. (We talked about him during your online course).
A friend came over to ride and we turned our horses out together in the arena. They ran and played together. We could see the other horse had the upper hand on my horse through out most of the play time. When I held my hand out and backed up, my horse suddenly looked at me and came trotting to me as his pal continued around the arena. He never left my side again. My friend rode and I played with my Nokota at liberty. Every where I went he followed. I was overwhelmed as this is the first time this had happened so completely. I believe that even though he was having a good time, he was feeling the pressure from the other horse and when I held my hand out it was a relief for him and he was happy to take a break and found comfort with me. Am I thinking correctly here?
You have helped me so much and I think of you (WWCD – What Would Carolyn Do) daily.
Thank You
Mary Augustine
Dear Mary,
You have found the cross species bond. It is such a humbling experience. I am always nurtured when this happens. No other animal has this ability to nurture the hearts of humans like a horse. I think the reason is that horses require that we get back to our true self. They return us to your personal power and wonder. They require us to be humble and at the same time lead and care for them. They lead us to our strength, knowingness and wisdom.
Warmly,
Carolyn
Checking in. Looking forward to the dance in Escondido!
Carolyn B xx