How To Be A Leader With Your Horse
Aug 10th, 2010 by Carolyn Resnick Method
Hello. It appears that some of you were a bit confused by the email blast that came out at the weekend announcing a new blog post. Mark asked me to write a quick note explaining that his tech guy was working on some testing and posted something in the wrong place, which triggered the email. When he realized what had happened, Mark deleted the post which is why when some of you tried the link in the email, it didn’t work. Anyway, nothing to worry about and hope that explains it.
However, what they were testing was a new video player using one of the Insider Circle videos and it kind of turned out to be a happy accident. What happened was that some people who weren’t in the class clicked the the link and watched the video before it disappeared. This produced a bunch of comments saying how much they enjoyed seeing me at work and learning the Waterhole Rituals almost first-hand.
So we thought it would be a nice idea to put the video back up so that you can get chance to watch it if you didn’t already do so. This is the very first video in a long series with the mare in the video, Marilyn. During the course of the series, we see how Marilyn’s behavior changes and develops with the Waterhole Rituals, it’s a fascinating journey as the Insider Circle people will tell you.
If you’ve not seen the video before, I’d love to hear what you think in the comments below. If you were part of the Insider Circle class, maybe you can share some of the changes you noticed in your horse as we progressed through the Rituals so people can see what’s possible.
Enjoy the video and talk to you on Thursday.
Carolyn
No related posts.
I loved the video w/the shy horse, but would LOVE to see one w/a dominant horse. Is there somewhere I can see this perhaps? This is my first comment on your blog. Hope I’m doing this correctly. If not, guidance would be greatly appreciated
Debbie
Dear Carolyn,
After taking the recent Waterhole Ritual course, I could hardly wait to introduce some of my other horses to the rituals. Things are going magnificently with two horses but I have encountered an unexpected difficulty with my mule and would very much appreciate some guidance.
First, by way of background, Mosby was rescued from an abusive situation. He remains highly skeptical about life in general and humans in particular. He is about twice as smart as any horse I’ve known and always thinks before he acts, unless overcome by one of his many terrors. For example, the first day he arrived, I entered his stall with a pitchfork to remove some poop. In blind panic, Mosby jumped out of the small, high (luckily open) stall window.
For the past week we have been sharing territory in a small grassy paddock every morning. The past three days he has lowered his head to my lap and clearly enjoyed a face rub, even letting me put a finger in his mouth and rub his ears, things he’s never allowed before.
Today, after about 20 minutes of ST, I thought I’d try some leading from behind. He would not let me get behind him from any distance. He repeated turned to face me and walked towards me. After a number of attempts, I simply transitioned to the “Hello” ritual, since that seemed to be something he was comfortable with. I had his full attention, he’d take a step or two towards me as I approached, he’d snuffle my extended hand and then looked surprised when I turned and walked away. After about 5 times, he started following me and we had some nice moments of companion walking. But when I’d stop and let him graze, then depart, he’d stay there grazing until I began to circle to get behind him. He always turned to face me and started to towards me. He made it clear that he was not comfortable with me walking towards him from behind.
The next thing I tried was to stand next to him and walk around him. No problem. He was relaxed about letting me walk around close to him and pause directly behind him for several minutes, stroking his butt and even resting my arms and chin on his rump. When I tried asking him to move forward while I was standing behind him, he responded by moving off readily enough but quickly circled and turned to face me.
If you have any ideas about how to get him comfortable about allowing me to follow him, I would certainly appreciate hearing them.
I would really appreciate some guidance with a difficulty I’ve encountered with a mule I am introducing to the waterhole rituals.
Dear Carolyn!
Nice video, good for me to know that I am doing it right with my own pony.
Please give us more of that kind of video
)
Love
Helle
the video was awesome, thanks for sharing.
Carolyn -Thank you-thank you! As you can see by all the comments, people are hungry for this information and the clip illustrates the ritual beautifully. I hope you will consider making these videos more available to the general readers of your blog who for whatever reason do not have the privledge of being in the insider circle. This work is so transformational for the horse and human- I speak from the experience of using the WHRs on two horses with incredible success. Still it would be so helpful to have more of this type of resource to guide us. Many thanks!
Carolyn,
Thanks so much for sharing this. I am NYC girl and do not yet own my own horse but I take lessons on the weekends. I have read Naked Liberty and own 2 of our DVD;s but this clip was fantastic. It gave so much more insight to the Waterhole Rituals. I didn’t think I could take the insider class as I don’t have my own horse, but if this is what the class involved this would be invaluable even to someone like me simply for my weekend lessons, not to mention when I have my own horses to work with. I do hope you will repeat the insider circle or release these in depth videos.
Thank you so much – this small clip has been invaluable and cleared up many of my questions from the Panadero DVD.
Please may we have more???
I enjoyed watching this very much, it has given me insight into the change I have had with my adapted abused stallion.
At first when I was caring for him, all was well, I had no agenda, except to clean and care for him. Then as I asked more, he became more defensive, which made me nervous, and then the vicious circle started.I could feel the unease in the air between us, yet with another friend of mine ,he reacted totally different, she was at ease with him and he was with her. It chagrined me enormously, but at the same time, I felt I couldn’t get over my unease with him. This was blatant in the way he perceived the both of us and reacted to us. He was now to her as he had previously been with me for weeks. Today, before seeing this video, I went in with no agenda but to feed him, clean some things around his area, and leave, he was fine with me.Now after seeing this video, I see my mistake,he is fearful when i ask him to do something, I need to spend time with him (alot ,since he was abused)no agenda , just sharing territory, for a long while, going on walks, nothing else. I am following your blog with great interest, it makes so much sense to me. I know I need to geld him and most reluctantly will, but this blog is also helping me greatly. With this horse, I feel, everything is about feeling and not getting it wrong. He has along and sad history.
Hi,
I loved watching that video. It reinforced in my mind what you are looking to accomplish with sharing territory (which is not much).
I have used several of your waterhole rituals to great success in my liberty training. Earlier this year, I had tried leading from behind, but I had no success at it. I tried it a few days ago and it worked so well!
I just wanted to share this video with you. It incorporates companion walking and leading from behind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0o1umOyQnw
Thanks so much for this great blog!
Ivy
Dear Carolyn,
I am happy to share with other readers the progress I made with my mare Folly during the Waterhole Rituals course. She is a haflinger like Marilyn, and like Marilyn she was fearful when I first got her. She was emotionally shut down and unresponsive to people although she was obedient on a lead line.
We did a lot of sharing territory during the course, because that was what she needed. She did not trust people and was not interested in interacting with me. We spent most of the first weeks in her paddock where she felt safe, and so I also got to know the five other horses in the paddock.
I did not approach her in the beginning except to say a brief Hello. I sat in the sun and read or dreamed. The other horses came over, and Folly saw that our interactions were undemanding and respectful. In time she became curious and began to come closer to me. Very slowly, she began responding when I came into the paddock and did the Hello ritual.
Through sharing space, and through the other rituals, my horse came to life. Today she is a different horse. She likes to be near me and is calm and trusting. We have a connection that grows deeper every day. I would never have believed the change could be so dramatic as a result of simply being with your horse.
The first ritual is the most powerful way I’ve ever seen of connecting deeply to a horse. It has changed me forever.
Bonnie
Hello Carolyn,
Wow, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for some time now but watching this video got me really excited.
More WHR specific videos…please, please, please!??
:):):)
Thanks a bunch,
Laura
Wow! Carolyn, Thanks so much for sharing this video with everyone. I could not wait to watch it. I was more excited then watching a new movie at the box office. I also am a better learner by watching the master do her stuff. This will really help me with the First Ritual. I hope we will get to see some more.
Dear Carolyn,
first I have to thank you so much for your efforts in preparing and delivering the course. It was fantastic! Even though I did not check in at all the calls, I missed only two and enjoyed the others tremendously.
I did not come as far as I had hoped since my 25 year old friend, Pagan, had opened up his front leg on an oak fence board in October. After treating it daily for the last 8 month it is now close to healing . We spent a lot of private time together, but not the quality time I had hoped for. When I squatted down beside him to treat his wound he would put his nostrils on my neck and hold his breath till I was done.
Now, he seems to develop some arthritic pain, which makes him reluctant to come out of the stall. He stands there for a while and licks his lips till he gets the courage. (Your suggestion to put carrots on the floor works beautifully). Once he is out it gets better. He seems fine with his friends on pasture, but it is sad to see such a proud (Trakehner) animal slowly crumble.
I understand that you are planning another WHR course next year. Please mark me in. I will be working with my boy (Pagan) and his companion till then. Let’s see how far we will come over the winter.
I must tell you that I have learned so much from you, and my relationship with my horses has greatly improved. The most important change came with the right way of saying “hello”.
I enjoyed your new video with Marilyn. The first time you had it on it stopped every 10-15 sec. for a while, and watching it became frustrating, but now it worked beautifully. Please give Mark my thanks for that.
I am faithfully looking forward to your blogs and enjoy them very much (I am waiting already for the next edition of your bound version). Unfortunately I am very busy in the office and don’t find much time to write, but I will improve.
Thank you so much for your coaching!
Juergen,
I am an Insider Circle student who just finished the class. Sharing Territory is by far the most rewarding of the rituals for me and the one I will always incorporate when I am with my two horses. It brings out a magical connection and joy. My 4yr old learned to trust me and allow me to take him away from his buddy because the times we would spend together were relaxed and no expectations (at least most of the time). I would take him for walks to places he would like to go and spend time. Or I would just go to where they were and he would usually choose to come stand next to me and often engage me to some other Ritual like Companion Walking or if the right energy was there, a game of Go Trot. I’d say it gives some permission to just Be with their horse rather than having an agenda.
Thanks for all you do Carolyn.
Regina
Accidentally stumbled on it and was sooooo pleased to view it! I have not been in the Insider Circle but would certainly love to have the option to view more lessons directed at achieving fluency with the rituals.
I got a sneak peek at this video the other day and was delighted to watch the sharing territory ritual in action. My horses are completely the other way inclined compared to Marilyn. They would be perfectly happy sitting in my lap – particularly my 17hh baby – haha!
Tristan (my 3 year old) and I have come a long way in our relationship since I have owned him. I had him in professional training for some time and while he was well behaved for my trainer he and I did not have a strong relationship. I decided to take a step back, brought him home and attempted no kind of formal training. I just spent time with him, quietly getting to know him and it has done us the world of good. Every day he’s in a different mood and I have to adjust my thoughts accordingly – I never expect anything from him – I just let the relationship take it’s own course.
I would love to see more videos if possible – I find it easiest to learn by watching.
Thanks!
Pure gold Carolyn! Thank you.
Thanks Carolyn,
lovely to watch Marilyn thinking, processing her feelings etc. What a beautiful mare!
This first skill of ‘do nothing, think nothing, expect nothing’ is so powerful.
My poor, frightened ‘Buddy’ has learned to trust me & now this is extending to humans in general.
I am always amazed at the capacity of horses to ‘start over’ if they are given the chance.
Thank you for sharing…
Moyna & Da Boyz
HI Carolyn, checking in!
apart from the timely reminder from the video, re no agenda no expectations, I was glad to run over some of the very basics once again, it can’t happen too often….the essence is in the apparently small details.
I did the Insider Circle course which finished just a week or so ago. The main changes were in me, of course, which unlocked my horse’s behaviour. I managed to begin to be there without an agenda, to just go with the flow, to allow my horse to have an opinion, and so on. We have a much more intimate relationship now, I see this in his affection, his desire to be with me, he even nickers to me when I arrive at the barn now which he didn’t do before! I have above all learned that sometimes you have to be firm and send your horse away so that he can understand the appropriate behaviour, and that after such an episode he will be even more happy to be with you, not less. It’s hard to do that, but the result and the reward are worth it. My horse will now wait before going to the food I offer (and I appreciate how very hard this is for him), he pays much more attention to me even when other things are going on around us, and I feel at ease being with him in his paddock with him at liberty; whereas before I always felt a tiny bit nervous, now I know how to interact with him to keep myself safe and to keep him also feeling safe and connected. The other day something startled him when I was sharing territory with him, and he reacted by looking at me, as if to say….what now? That showed me we have started to have a real relationship of trust and friendship.
all the best
susan (IC; Italy)
So Sorry- it does work! was black and didn’t show a loading bar for quite a while (i have high speed) but it did finally load and, O- Very Nice- it’s GREAT! Thank You again Carolyn, you covered so much in one small video. Someday I dearly hope to meet you!
Great that everyone can view it now! The video includes some good WHR Sharing Territory “philosophy” and practical use. I would rate it as an instant classic! Hope all enjoy it as much as I have.
Also I liked this media player – it had a clearer picture and better tracking.
Ah- too bad the video doesn’t work, now that you’ve reposted! I was looking forward to it but appreciate your website nonetheless!
Can you try to repost again?? if we beg?? Thanks for all you share with us.
Dear Diane,
Try it again I think it is now working. Let me know if it is.
Carolyn