How to be your own horse whisperer
Mar 5th, 2009 by Carolyn Resnick Method
If you can keep adjusting your leadership to be more dependable, flexible, understandable and intelligent, the horse is more willing to form a loyal partnership and put a greater effort into his performance. The biggest mistake people make in their relationship and communication with horses is to not understand that the development of leadership with horses should be spent in managing the connection, bond and trust through attentiveness. Being attentive, you can take care of the changing attitudes in the horse and to the changes in the environment and how to keep a horse willing before he gets out of hand. If you do not have respect and trust on a horse, you are not likely to be able to tell him what to do and in the same breath expect him to take care of you. This kind of horse is hard to find.
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Astonishing response…. very interesting reading…i did not look further so I don’t what is the reason….
some of the qualities that i find appealing in a person would be:
awareness/ability to be present
zest for life – joy in what one is and does/ lives
balance between heart/intuition and intelect
balance between creativity and groundedness
clarity of boundaries
greetings to all
hana
Interesting article. I had a huge realization about 3 years ago. I’d been working with my horse, on the ground only, with natural techniques. We started at the very beginning, making friends. After some time went by, and we had made some progress, I was feeling very frustrated. One day, to my dismay, my trainer pointed out to me that I was treating my kids the same way I was treating my horse. I was not an assertive leader, I did not follow through with much of anything, and I really only noticed what (they) he did wrong, to name a few. I was very humbled and really had to sit back and take a good hard, honest look at my life, NOT just what was going on with my horse. To this day, this horse continues to teach me lessons, none of which have anything to do with riding, or really horses in general at all. I truly believe that we were brought together so I could learn from him. :O)
Thank you for your work and all that you do.
Loretta
kind
smart
fair
intuitive
fun
Strong
compassionate
playful
interesting
forgiving
gentle
honest
joyful
follows his heart
present/aware
1. Loving
2. Sensitive
3. Honest
4. Strong in Spirit
5. Inspiring
Great!
I will either email it to Mark or post it on Photobucket. I will let Mark know when it is ready.
Dear Madeleine,
I would like to show the before and after video on the blog.
I am sure it would help people to learn how simple ways of communicating with horses can works so well.
Thank you,
Carolyn
Wow – those are a lot of responses, and I haven’t read them yet. I’ve been wanting to read this blog for days, but am just getting a chance to now:
1. respect and caring words and actions
2. quality time
3. loving touch
4. great talks about what we are finding important and intersting
5. mutual support of our dreams and goals. … okay those are my 5, now I want to read what everyone wrote!
I took a video “Before the training” where she attacks other horses and I hope to take another video “After a few training sessions” to show her improvement.
Kindest regards,
Madeleine
Good new-thank you for getting back and sharing the great reuslts.
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you for your advice. Yesterday, I tried it once. I backed her off one step sternly and waved my hands at the other horses through the stall bars. Then gave her a carrot.
This morning I spent 15 minutes at it. I probably backed her off 4 or 5 times, same ritual as the previous day. After that she tried a few times but I just had to say No and she would settle calmy in the middle of the aisle. At the end, she stayed quietly in the aisle, I left her to go get the broom and she did not move once. It is really working well. I now have a new language to tell her not to attack the other horses without escalalting into frustration and aggressiveness towards me. Thanks again so much. Nothing as worked as well before.
1.appreciative
2.optomistic
3.humorous/fun/playful
4.empathetic
5.gentle
Dear Madeline,
I have no idea for not seeing her and your experiance with horse and your connection that you have with her. I could only suggest that not only ask the other horses to stand back but also be sturn with your mare when she pens her ears and push her back as well and then when she does say good girl and give her a treat.
In this blog I gave someone a lesson in teaching their horse to eat and not eat on comand that will help you as to settle her down and bring your closer. Do not be afarid to be stern with her and then make a fuse over her. May people train in the grey area meaning that they are not expresive enough for the horse to get the message and that you mean business.
It is really hard to give advise when I can not see the real condition.
If anyting that I am advising seems sensible then it will might help.
Regards,
Carolyn
Hi Carolyn,
What a great topic as usual. I have a problem that I have been trying to fix forever. I am boarding Bravada and we have a problem when I put her in the aisle. She does not like to be crosstied she gets upset a the other horses on each side. I thought maybe she felt uncomfortable because she was tied. So I tried to groom her untied. It is worse because she attacks the other horses through the stall bars with pinned ears and bare teeth. It does not help our bonding or connection.
If I understand being a good leader for her, should I pushed the other horses away in the back of their stall to show her I am protecting her or will it escalate? what do you do with a horse that is aggressive towards other horses.
1. Devoted
2. Real
3. Exciting
4. Passionate
5. Attentive
Forgiving
Dependable
Loyal
Trusting
Kind
Safe
Playful
Present, in mind/body/spirit
Adventurous
Grounded,
Fun-loving
in-the-moment intelligent
sweet, sensitive, and wild-in-the-streets!
Dear Nicole,
I first want to suggest that when he give you a hard expression ask him to go faster and more away for the grass. When you walk with him you choose the speed of the walk not your horse. I have a feeling that you are allowing him to control the speed and that could be the problem.
I have mentioned this exercise before of my blog what I am about to suggest. It is one of the frist exercise I do in my program after a person understand the riutals. the exercse is to put food down in the arena and your horse on a line. Walk up to the food and before you get him there as him to halt. When he halts they say good boy and take him to the food.
Once he is eating have your body bent down and they say “head up and raze your body up fast then wait a second and then swish a reed fast to make it sing and touch him on his coup with it. The suprise should get his head up and when it is up say “Good boy” and they say “head down” and pull on the rope to suggest that he put his head down. Keep the nonaggresive pull untill he drops his head. This is very important.
Keep this up tell he is fine with the exercise and that way you have him in control for your walks. but still be more attentive in our speed control.
I do not like to see people circling their horses for control when the horses are out of control. It is too punitive.
Let me know how this works out,
Carolyn
Hi Carolyn,
I have a question… my horse is very food oriented and when I am leading him on a line, he will often decide he wants to graze when we are walking, and plunge his head down in the grass and start eating… It doesn’t usually take very much to get his head up from eating- a small tug on the lead rope, or sometimes he will stop eating and walk with me when I call him without me pulling…. But, this doesn’t work to stop the behavior, he will just do it again a little later.
I know this isn’t a huge problem or anything, and he has gotten a lot better then he used to be about this, but when he stops to eat like that while I ask asking him to walk with me, wouldn’t he be seeing himself as the leader?
Usually he gets a dominant expression on his face a second before he plunges his head down to eat, so yesterday, I tried asking him to circle around me every time he plunged his head down to eat, or looked like he was about to do it. Then after, about 1 lap, when he had a good expression, I would let him graze.
What would be a good technique for me to use to get him to stop doing this and respect my leadership about where to graze when I am leading him without being too dominating? I can’t work on this at liberty because my horse only has this problem outside of his the pastures or arenas where the grass is more thick and green.
Thanks!
1) Loves me for who I am, including my shadow
2) Authenticity
3) Enjoys being with me and we delight in each other’s company
4) A willingness to work through anything that comes up and the self awareness to recognise when our own stuff is being projected.
5) A good touch
Respectful
Loving
Generous
Trustworthy and honest
Spiritual and heart centered
1. Contentment/Happiness with where he is at the present time.
2. Dependable/Trustworthiness.
3. Must have the ability to belly laugh when it’s funny, even if it’s not appropriate. Needs to be able to eat life and savor the best parts.
4. Not be afraid to be affectionate–even in public!
5. Needs to have the ability to genuinely appreciate everything he has been blessed with.
Hi Carolyn,
I worked on being a more attentive and more flexible leader for my horse today, and we had a REALLY good time together! It definitely made a difference in my horse’s willingness to connect with me. 
Thanks for the great article! it had lots of helpful info for me.
affectionate
tolerant
sense of humor
open minded
creative
I am posting before reading others’ comments.
I would like my husband, friend, and partner, to
1 Be more trusting of others
2. Use my name
3. Listen to me more
4.
I’m stuck at 3!
Kathy
kind
curious
fun/joyful
flexible
respectful
(in no particular order – or, rather, in different proportions depending on what the situation is…)