How Horses Train People
May 17th, 2012 by Carolyn Resnick
Valuable Life Lessons that Contribute to Your Well-Being from Training Horses
Horses are changeable in their attitudes and emotions from willing to unwilling, trusting to fearful and relaxed to hyper. Basically a horse’s nature is dynamic, cautious and willing. That makes sense; we are a lot like that ourselves. Horses have two changeable behaviors. They will fluctuate from trusting to not trusting and from social to anti-social…again a bit like we 
are in our own society. They also seek leadership and live in communities and family groups…hmm, a bit like us. However, when they feel secure and have enough space, food and water they live in unity and harmony with one another.
They are very social and caring and are outwardly affectionate. They seek unity and harmony with one another, most of the time. Once we have formed a deep cross species bond with a horse, it will be deeper than the one we can share within our own species. When we share this cross species bond, the horse shows us how deep our feelings of friendship can truly be. If we choose to look for this connection with all things, our personal well-being and appreciation for life are enhanced. When we can extend this to the people in our life’s our life’s are truly blessed.
To Seek or Be Sought After
If you would like to share a cross species bond with your horse, this feeling or longing within yourself might bring you closer to this connection. However, in the relationship we share with horses, in most cases, the horse did not seek us out. We were attracted to them first. Your attraction and longing for them, can sometimes cause a horse to feel a bit threatened when you approach him. However, I found that Sharing Territory and not trying to make a connection with a horse creates the opposite response. This brings out a horses’ desire to bond with us. Try it; the relationship that develops will be surprising, even with horses that you have not been able to reach.
I have spent as long as 3 months with a horse in order to reach him and when we connected, the wait was worth it! Waiting for Marchador to connect with me helped me to become aware of a deep happiness I felt I was missing at that time. The waiting brought me personal well-being and a deep friendship with my horse that was magical!
Communication is the Key
Communicating with a horse in the moments of harmony shapes their social behaviors and desires for our leadership. This is the key to developing a working bond with your horse. To develop this relationship with your horse further, it is your job to keep up with them in order to keep the relationship in the moment, connecting and growing. The nature of our relationship with horses is always changing. It is either getting better or worse because the relationship is dynamic.
A Horses’ First Response
The nature of a horse is that if a horse trusts you, he will first try to fit in with you and as the relationship develops he will see if he can get you to fit in with him. You can loose a horse’s first response to fit in with you by a lack of leadership, by not taking on the role of a dependable leader or by being too demanding.
Giving a horse the freedom to accept or reject your leadership builds a strong trust. Horses as well as humans do not like to be obligated or pushed around. By giving freedom to a horse to respond, we can see how to better approach a horse and how to go about handling him in the moment we are training and riding him. Giving a horse Liberty takes the force out of the picture. Wouldn’t you rather have someone ask you to do something before they tell you to do it?
Are you a Leader?
The secret to getting a horse to follow your lead willingly is to allow him to shape your leadership and to be desirable as well as effective. Some people can be too lenient and allowing with a horse and that will cause a horse to not want their company or their leadership. Developing relationships with horses, in the training of horses, is a co-creative process and takes experimentation on when to allow and when to not allow. Leadership can be, and should be, a kind of refuge for a horse rather than where the horse learns he can not avoid limits or expectations. Taking a caretaker leadership role draws horses to follow your lead and trust you.
Personal Power
Because horses can be trained though force quickly, it is very tempting for people to use force. But one’s personal power is diminished by depending on force. Force is not the way to gain personal power. If you have worked it out with a horse to the point of being able to create a magical dance without force, you’ve developed a greater personal power that will serve you well throughout your life. It is essential to your personal well-being to learn how to dance with a horse without force, using the magnetic and magical connection.
As the relationship grows so will your understanding of when to pause, when to lead, when to ask you’re horse to give you room and when to give your horse room. Learning these things will deepen the bond and creating a connection that certainly helps the training of your horse.
From Relationships with Horses to Other People
The Waterhole Rituals method of training a horse at Liberty will help you if all you want to do is have a deeper meaningful bond. It will also help you if you want to create maximum performance from your horse for competition.
Being the one responsible for developing a whole hearted connection with your horse is a joy not to be missed! From what you learn on your journey, developing a heart felt connection and magical bond with your horse; you will have gathered skills in how to win the support of others in helping you achieve your dreams as well. You will also naturally know how to better support others in their dreams. If you feel something missing in your relationships with other people, learning how to develop a cross species bond with your horse will also enable you to turn that around. You will find a loyalty that will fill your heart with well-being that you can count on whenever you need it. If this is your interest, check my online school or start yourself out to understand my method and philosophy by reading my books, Naked Liberty as well as the Blog Books, that are a handy guide to go along with my DVD’s.
Here is a question for all of you to answer on my blog – What is it that you like best about horses?
Watch out for new horse and human sighting and may the horse be with you.
warmly,
Carolyn
No related posts.
Thanks again for a wonderful blog, Carolyn. What I love about horses is their mere presence, their being in the moment, their way of seeking engagement. I love their authenticity, and how each day that I’m with them they help me to grow and see more of what it is like to be a horse, and who I am to them.
Best,
Susan
great blog and great posts.
Love when we groom each other with my horse, the feel of his breath on my face, his forgiving soul and heart, playfullness, his company, watching him moving, eating… there are many thing like this, many more.
thanks once more
best wishes
Iwona
What do I love about horses????
I love that whenever I am in their presence, I feel like I am in a majestic land that exists only where they are. They never fail to take my breath away and I glow in their presence. They are all satisfying in every way.
I have been lying out in the pastures for weeks now just sharing territory. It is killing the ambition I once had to have a performance horse! How great is that?
Dear Carolyn, I love when you said,”Leadership can be, and should be, a kind of refuge for a horse rather than where the horse learns he can not avoid limits or expectations. Taking a caretaker leadership role draws horses to follow your lead and trust you.” I’m with Kerrie when she said “What’s not to love about horses!” Blessings~Lisa & Magnum
Dear Carolyn…
I hope all is well with you and yours… I thinks of the time I shared with you often. I have many powerful memories to recall… Your words and sometimes absence of, continue giving me… Thank You. Your question is great…
I Love so many things about horses… the way they look, the way they smell… their power their wisdom and on and on and on… but, what I Love most about The horse is how being with them, makes me focus on the moment… in what feels like a wonderful meditation, horses make me seek out the NOW… This quiets my my mind and brings me relaxation. Within these moment I receive amazing Life lessons. I love how they lead me to be a better person everyday… and I feel they never give up on us… I love how quiet I have to become to hear what they are saying, for in their message is all I want to be…
Dear Carolyn,
This is a very thought provoking post. There is so much to say that it is difficult. There are the physical things such as the feel of their breath in my ear and the feel of their lips as we mutually groom. And the fact that they are so much like us. They challenge me. By nature I am impatient and quick-tempered, neither being good characteristics in general, and especially not with horses. Of course, through the years I have worked on myself and modified these tendencies. But I noticed when I began my relationship with Roscoe that although I outwardly managed my feelings, I still held them inwardly, which horses are extremely sensitive to. That was the challenge. You, Carolyn, have been a great help in that you so often talk of feeling gratitude and optimism and appreciation for who our horses are. That is the approach I strive for. Also, I am totally in the moment when I am with my guys. Roscoe and I had a very turbulent start. But I know I was given the horse that I needed at that time in my life.
Karin
Hello!
I am here at Carolyn Resnicks Ranch. For today this is how Carolyn’s work with people and horses and horses and people resonates with me! Ella Fitzgerald – Blue Skies
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nB-xqDZbEVQ
PS. My smileys look a bit angry, I think it is the way I make them.
They should be
(more happy)
Helle
Dear Carolyn.
To days blog is wonderfull informative. Really nice information about what it is all about.
What I like most is the smell and warm air coming out their noses. I simply love the warm cosy, safe smell of horse.
) I know it could be written in more precisely words, but it is the essence. And I’m not used to think and communicate in english.
I feel safe and it gives me comfort, the smell of horses and their lips when they “kiss” me
).
Take good care of yourself.
Hug
Helle
Awakens my soul…Thank you Carolyn.
Marilyn
What I love about horses is their adaptability and acceptance of the now.
You can move a horse to a new herd, and within hours sometimes minutes it’s like they have been with that herd all their life. You can keep a horse in less than ideal circumstances (although why would you?) and they adapt to that too. Most of all they adapt to us, with all our flaws and lack of understanding. What a privledge to have a horse in your life!
Thank you Carolyn for helping us to undertand and be a better human for our horse!
What is it that I like best about horses….
To me the combination of horses being such big, powerful and proud animals, combined with the most refined sensitivity one can imagine, is something that keeps amazing and intriguing me.
I guess it’s those extreme opposites in horses that appeal to me: for instance the way they can relax totally for hours and on the other hand their instant ‘fire’ in case they need to RUN from something scary or exciting.
I also love their wisdom and the way they keep on enduring our clumsy human behaviour patiently, until we finally ‘get it’. They are so endlessly forgiving and honest…
My list could go on and on… they are just miracles on four legs and I’m so grateful to have them in my life and to have you Carolyn, to guide me on this path
!
Gratitude and hugs,
Marja
Hi Carolyn
What do I like best about horses? Its the unconditional love. Sometimes its soft love & sometimes its tough love, but its always love. That & the sheer beauty & knowingness in their eyes – the way they see right through us to our soul or core. (I could go on, but we could be here all day!)
Carolyn – because of you & the WHR’s & my insistence to stay at liberty, on the long road to the beautiful place – I was able to achieve this recently:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM5TQ1F-pNM
I wish you could have seen what she used to be like… but I’m sure you have seen it all before. This mare Izzy used to act ‘cold backed’, upset, cross, tense, as if about to explode when I used to try to get on to ride. She was dominant, spooky & generally not trusting when I was riding in the past. I stopped riding her last year except for little bits here & there. She is 8 now. She used to flatten her hears at the saddle & walk off (it was not from a badly fitting saddle…) Now I can put a saddle on at liberty in the pasture! The connection is like nothing I’ve ever experienced with a horse before – I’m constantly in awe of the dream coming true every day. You gave me the freedom to experiment & not worry about the outcome – that has been of such huge value in my whole life. Thank you!
The videos are not public (I don’t feel experienced enough in your method for that!). They are only available via the links. Here’s another short one:
http://www.youtube.com/my_videos_edit?ns=1&video_id=AO1JE8GUdBY
I tried to make you one on ‘eyes’ last week, but it didn’t work out. She tends to want to put me on her right side at liberty. We both have injuries down our left side. It is interesting…
Warmest wishes
Erica
Hi Carolyn,
Horses are noble, truthful and strong–all traits we humans desire. While people struggle to achieve these things, horses are born with them. I believe you enter this world a horse enthusiast or not. I don’t think it’s something you learn over time. For those of us who were blessed with this gift, horses can easily become our very best teachers and very best friends. They reach a spiritual place deep within that nothing else can touch. They are living pieces of artwork that can be devastatingly dangerous at times, yet most choose to teach us the lessons we need to learn with patience and finesse. That’s what I love about them the most.
I’m now working with a new terrified young Kiger mustang named Rio who is going to be my biggest challenge. I’m quite certain that the lessons I’m going to learn working with him will be exceptional. My mustang Banner has turned into quite a nice ride these days. I enjoy him bareback, barefoot, and bitless in the mountains nearly every day.
Thank you so much for all the gifts you’ve given me. You are truly amazing. Love, Carol
Carolyn, so beautiful. I am so happy to be part of your class. You and your work are so inspiring to me
… Horses for me…. They touch my soul and fill my heart with a profound sense of wellness and love… I have been continually drawn to and back to them over my lifetime… They are the one place in this world that i can go and both lose myself and simultaneously find myself. They “are” my heart and my soul.
Teri Peery, InsiderCircle 2012,
Thanks Carolyn for the wonderful blog. I enjoy so much what you have to say.
What I Like About Horses
Their forgiveness
That they teach me to be a better human
Their ability to weather the forces of nature
The sound of their munching
comforting me
Their truth
Their beauty
Their gift of partnership
Hi Carolyn, That question really made me think. There was the surface answer, because they make me extremely happy, but I kept asking myself deeper and deeper. I think what I like about horses best is how they see right through me and really know who I am and no matter what they give me unconditional love to its fullest!
Thank you as always for your amazing gift to me and my babies.
Teddie
Jannie Smit
IC
Australia
Hi Carolyn,
What a great blog, thank you.
What I like best about horses is that they so authentic, true to them self, each other and all what is around them. There are no lies, this means they are great teachers. Our own mirror.
They make you feel at home and part of something really big ……. a very happy life.
Dear Carolyn,
Beautiful, truthful insights. Incredibly captured and expressed. Thank you for inspiring those feelings within me.
What do I like about horses?
I love their honesty and forthrightness and tenderness. It is profoundly intimate, and when I am being that too and we meet in this authentic place together, something extraordinary occurs. I experience my own essential Self in relationship to that authentic other. Its tangible, it’s visceral. Then I know I’m truly alive. I expand internally and everything I see or hear is heightened, amplified. I feel incredibly magnified. It’s like I join with everything, I am everything and yet I’m fully present and grounded in my body. I am one and individual all at the same time and I’m aware of it.
I also love the expressive nature of horses. I can just sit and watch them forever. And, when we dance together I feel like I’m 10 years old again, when I was a ballerina. I am set free and full of creative expression, my language is movement and so is his, we find each other and we delight in the discovery of our bodies, of our internal music and our dance together. Nothing else exists.
Love this blog, thanks Carolyn
What i like the most of horses is:
The are in the present and in harmony, life in a group but in freedom. Their great graet strength, but showing their vulnerability. They are for me an example of how I want to live.
Lots of love Monique
I love how horses are so often mirrors to their person’s insides, how we feel, they show us what’s really going on! This is the most intriguing thing for me!
Thanks Carolyn for this great blog! It really spoke out of my heart again,
Warm Regards,
Christine
When I saw what your question was I really had to stop and think. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a rut with Gingy and I have spent too much time thinking about all of the things that horses do that really frustrate me. Your question reminded me that I need to stay positive. There are so many things I love about horses and I think that is definitely what I need to stay focused on. I love horses because they are so perceptive and they understand body language so well. I love the way they smell LOL. Most of all I love the way horses are always able to lead us toward harmony if we chose to recognize it.
As always, thank you Carolyn,
Grace.
Hi Carolyn – How wonderful it is to see the notices in my email that there is another post from you! I often save them for a moment when I have time to read slowly and think but sometimes I need to read them right away to feel the uplift of spirit they provide. I often feel on my own living as I do with horses at the center, seeing them as I do, interacting with them as I do, believing in their sentience and what we owe them, as I do. Around here I haven’t found anyone who truly feels this way, despite their affection and concern for them. You set me on this road and I love you for it. What I love about horses is that I feel at home when I am with them. How lucky am I to have this home? And I also love that many of them don’t care if I am there or not! Isn’t that funny?
Love to you as always!
Carolyn,
You have done it again. Presented your methods in such a succinct, understandable manner. I think what I love about horses is their unique ability to coexist with the herd and their human partners in such a loving and positive way. May the warm winds of the southern plains bring you peace and happiness. Warmly, Skeetz
Good morning Carolyn, how nice to wake up to this lovely post.
You ask a tough question. It’s like asking what I like best about having a home. An experience we recently went through nearly left us without one, and it is hard to measure in words the horror of not having one versus the comforts it brings.
So it is with horses. The best answer I can give is to say what I like best about our horses today: The beauty of their society, along with their willingness to share that with us.
Because finally!!!!!!! after a sixteen-month search, they are grazing on good land with a natural water source. We moved them onto some acreage we are intending to buy, and it is hard to put into words how good it was to see them sniff grass and eat with delight after six weeks of just eating hay and dry food. And I mean good grass, a variety of it, water running from a natural reservoir. When I think about the faith they put in us, to let me load them up for the twelfth time yesterday in a few years, believing – as I kept promising them – that I would lead them to green pastures. Finally, to realize that promise to them. They lead easily. You could have swung the lead rope for a child to jump rope, they led so loosely, although they were anxious to graze. They came to accept our leadership that way. Then when we let them loose, they remained as a herd although they had (many hectares, I’m not sure how many) so much space to investigate.
Little Capricho saw the halter in my hand after I let the last one loose, as I went to say so long to them for the night. For the first time ever, he stepped just slightly forward of me, not letting me come near, fearing that I just might want to put that halter on him and take him away from the banquet. I figured it out and dropped the halter and stepped towards him. He turned around and just loved me up to say thanks.
Sorry I can’t put that moment in simpler words, or any precise phrase. So I’ll just be annoying and answer a question with a question: what’s not to love?
What I love most about horses is their uncompromising authenticity. Horses don’t lie. This is a valuable marker for me when observing behavior I don’t understand. Their authenticity gives me the platform to trust what I see even if I don’t understand it at first.
Thank you for the opportunity to go deeper into horse awareness.
Best,
Kristin
Dear Carolyn,
Thanks a lot for this great blog! One of the things I like most about horses is that they are honest and straightforward. They give me instant feedback on what I am doing, if they like it or not. They don’t judge, they just tell me “I like it” or “I don’t like it”. And if I make a mistake, I like the fact that they are so forgiving when they see that I am doing my best to be forgiven. They don’t hold grudge. Well… I guess that makes already 2 things that I like the most!
Have a nice week-end!
Elodie
What I love most about horses is their rhythm in the now, their now-ness and omnipresence. When our rhythms are matched, we become one.
Hi Carolyn;
What is it that I like best about horses?
That they are authenticity meters for our souls.
Megan,Allegria,Bronte and Baby Zavia
Dear Carolyn,
another great blog!
What I like best about horses is how the bring me to the moment and these moments of meditation brings me energy, relaxation, focus and deep sense of well being.
See you 24th – Stina
Carolyn
I meant David Hawkins not Paul Hawkins. Both are important thinkers for these times.
Sally
Carolyn
I love your summary of your way with horses and it reinforces my wish to master your methods with my own horses.
Paul Hawkins book Power Vs. Force talks about what power is and that it is love not force or dominance. We all calibrate on a scale and it is our personal challenge in our lifetime to grow in personal consciousness and bring our personal power (ability to love) to a higher level than we arrived in this life. Your method is one way we can learn to express this kind of authentic power with horses and then with other human beings.
With kind regards,
Sally
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you for a great post.
What I love best about horses is the way they can choose to communicate with humans.
I discovered this week that that type of cross-species communication, where the horse seeks you out has been my goal with my mare Sun.
This week we took our first proper rides together. We went to a woods where there was a shallow pond to cross. Sun was hesitant and so I gave her verbal encouragement but no push. She twisted her neck and turned her head around and up to me and ‘said’ “I’m not sure I can do this” and i said, “yes, you can, just think it through” and she did and then walked calmly through – nose to the water! I realise that this is the relationship I have been looking for with a horse my whole life- working together, communicating and being heard, with no panic or reprimand.
This is what you method gives and it’s magical.
Thank you!
Dear Carolyn,
)Diane
Wonderful post:)). What I like best about horses, aside from their stunning physical beauty, is their proud independence…it is what makes our relationship with them challenging, but also what makes the relationship so heartfelt rewarding. I have experienced no feeling quite like a horse giving him/herself to you. It deeply touches the soul.
What I like best about horses, apart from their eternal beauty, is their sense of humour, their kindness and helpfulness and their ability to live in the moment, saying “Life is GOOD!” and making you feel that way too.
re: your question: the way they move …….. us:-)
perfect.
Carolyn, The blog is very good. What I like best about horses – They are magnificent, powerful, agile, smart and can easily survive without us in their lives which makes the fact they will accept, trust and serve us an honor.
checking in; what I love most about horses is the way they have held on steadily to their nature notwithstanding the history of their contact with Man.
warm wishes,
susan
(Italy)
PS could you tell me the artist who created that wonderful painting in the previous blog, the woman on the horse, both looking in the same direction?
I just like being with them. It clears my mind, and brings me a joyful awakeness. I like smelling the wind with them.
And Marchador,wow, what a gift of presence he brings.
thankyou Carolyn
Dear Carolyn a wonderful blog post again. Thank you for sharing.
I have been on this road for quite sometime. Still there are the occasional doubts that fill my mind. Reading it in words what is my feeling gives a wonderful experience.
It becomes even more clear again why I so much wanted to meet you. And why I remarked that actually on day one of the Beyond clinic December 2011 I had achieved my goal. It was my Dutch kind of humor expressed in my Dutch kind of blunt way.
However, the other 7 days proved to be priceless and I enjoyed every nanosecond of it. My sharing a hotel room with Emily proved to be a special, deep felt experience as well.
What is it that you like best about horses?
I find this a really good question. For me that is. I never ever asked myself this question. This attraction was just there. I have always been attracted to horses. As from the age of 6 when riding a pony on the beach back and forth for a dime. This attraction has stayed with me all of my life. Even when living abroad in the tropics I went looking for horses. I was so pleasantly surprised when meeting Stina and learning of her herd of horses. When I lived in St. Vincent in 1974 no horses were there. Or at least I couldn’t find them.
A few key words
- authenticity
- power
- creativity
- adaptability
- saying ‘No’
- giving yourself permission to change moods instantly
- patience
- leading and allowing oneself to be lead
- recognizing manipulation
- pause
- BEING
- NOW
Warmly,
Geerteke
Dear Carolyn,
I used to read such messages as this and believe them to be true. Through following your method I now know them to be true!
What do I like best about horses? Their absoluteness, absolute truth, absolutely in the moment, absolute emotion.
With heartfelt thanks, Joy
Dear Carolyn,
This post is beautiful, and captures the essence of true leadership with horses. I plan to discuss many of the ideas in my clinic on Sunday, so thank you.
On a personal note, I love reading anything you write about Marchador. He is an amazing horse on many levels.
Joyfully,
Ruella
Dear Carolyn,
As always you so aptly point out these truths in a way that those of us who are searching can understand. I agree and embrace the concept of horse training being a co-creative and experimental process. Offering reciprocal leadership over force.
As I have studied and practiced your methods, I find a never ending wellspring of compassion and desire to partner from the horses, even in spite of mistakes I might make and trespasses I might commit.
To answer your question. What I best like about horses is their unstoppable curiosity and willingness to forgive and re-engage with us. I know that it is giving a human quality to horses, but it a way I feel horses teach use how to be generous and love another.
Thank you
Lila
dear carolyn,
what a wonderful blog. thank you!
your method in a nutshell. and not only a method how to be with horses in a way that serves both species but so much more. i ham so happy to have found you!
through being with horses so much has changed in my life though I was not even looking for change, at least not consciously. well this is how life works.
it has been and still is a truly magical journey. I have learned so much more trust (and it was necessary to move through deep settled fears and other issues that I thought I had integrated) and have had truly magical experiences not only with horses but also with other animals – which never were a part of my life, completely new for me – and with nature and with people. really in all realms of my life I feel more settled, open, soft and strong.
what I love most about horses is there truthfulness and their big heart. I feel through being with horses my heart is healed and growing and I feel more rooted in Life (with a big L) physically and spiritually than before. a process that will go on as long as i live and I am looking forward to every step of it.
best wishes
sophia