Questions and Answers About the Unorthodox Approach in the Training of a Horse with the Waterhole Rituals
Jul 6th, 2010 by Carolyn Resnick Method
Hello again. First let me start off by thanking you all for the wonderful comments and stories you write after each of my blog posts, it’s brings me great pleasure to hear you are getting on so well with my Method.
However, as the popularity of the blog grows, I’m starting to hit a bit of a hurdle. As regular readers will know, I don’t find it particularly easy to read and write and this is especially true when there are long passages without paragraphs. So what I would like to suggest is that we try to keep each comment to 1 or 2 short paragraphs of no more than a couple of sentences each (like Marja did last Thursday on Comment #7) or better still like Stephanie did with Comment #13).
If I need more detail from you, I can then ask you for it. I trust you understand and appreciate your help.
Right on to today’s blog…
Working with a horse at liberty, you must wait for him to give you his full attention and interest in bonding, because if you try to make the horse do what you want, he will run off.
Why, then, would you choose to work with a horse at liberty in a free open environment when you could control him with fences or tack?
Because, by working at liberty, you will bring out in the horse a willingness and intelligence that tack would actually block.
One of the rules of my method is that you must allow the horse to choose to refuse your leadership.
What is the benefit in letting a horse refuse a request?
If you do not point out to the horse his refusals, he will respond more positively to your suggestions the next time you ask.
Why do you want to avoid drilling a horse?
Drilling causes a horse to need more drilling, and a constant need to keep drilling to keep the horse working the way you want him to.
When is using allowance better than using force?
When you are asking the horse to do something for you.
When is holding a horse to task better than allowing his behavior?
When you are building your horse’s character. This takes place in social interactions and when he is being anti-social or not respectful of your boundaries, or when you need to shape his behavior around food.
How does Sharing Territory to develop a close friendship at liberty enhance the training and performance of your horse?
The program that exists in Sharing Territory brings out in a horse a natural desire to follow your lead and learn new behaviors.
When would you allow your horse to lead you?
Whenever it would improve the relationship and performance. Like in the Ritual of Eye Contact –where the horse controls the hay and your movements around him; or when Liberty Dancing with your horse in a performance. You allow the horse to lead you when give and take enhances the performance of you both.
When is it beneficial to make your horse do something he doesn’t want to do?
When your horse is willing to stay with you despite the fact that you do not allow his behavior in regards to social conduct that you require. You can clearly see this happening when he does not want to leave the food or your space when you ask him to.
My method is built on rules that if a horse leaves you, you stop your lesson and leave in the opposite direction. If the bond has been previously developed through Sharing Territory, the horse will want to return from the space that you’ve given him.
With my method, boundaries are flexible for a reason. It helps you in the training of your horse by giving you the ability to develop his desire to fit in harmony with you.
All of these decisions, when to lead and when to allow, when to pause, when to push, and when to pat, I leave in the hands of my students. We all have this gift within ourselves, if we practice communicating in the context of complete freedom of choice. It is where the true art of communication is found.
Obviously, freedom of choice is always what we would choose for ourselves, but then, why would we not choose it for others? Of course, there are times when we want to be held accountable, like when we don’t consider other people’s feelings and rights to their personal space. None of us want to be bullies, or have a horse that is a bully. Freedom of choice stops our bullying of our horses, and then, holding a horse accountable for social politeness helps the partnership. This brings out in the horse a desire to learn and perform the things it is in his nature to do.
How could we control a horse without being controlling or manipulating the horse into thinking he has no choice but to do what he is told?
This is the big question that few people will have answers to unless they enter the realm of Liberty Training. Working with my method will reveal all these answers as your skill increases from the evolution of your practice.
You will learn how to set up a horse to perform so that control is unnecessary while he is performing. Working with a horse a liberty with my method, you will tap into his herding instincts to match your movements and take direction. You are working with an automatic response, natural to all social creatures, even humans.
It would be interesting if you would share your stories of how my method has developed your decision in how you approach your horses in your communication and training, and how the freedom and allowance you have given to your horses have changed them to be more willing and have a greater capacity to understand your communication. I would also like for you to discuss how the bond has deepened from the Sharing Territory ritual.
Carolyn
No related posts.
Hi Carolyn
I received your Waterhole Ritual DVD last Friday, applied the Sharing Territory to a rescue horse, badly abused, who no one has been able to put a halter on unless he goes on his own into his stable. If he goes out of his stable without the fly mask or day sheet or whatever paraphernalia he needs for the day, well, your chances are gone.
Monday I sat in his paddock reading. A while later my solar plexus jammed up and I could hardly breathe. This horse was looking at me with intent, “who are you?” I stayed in the moment and heard myself singing, “Sunrise, Sunset”, out of the corner of my eye I heard a huge sigh and he lowered his head right to the ground.
I found myself crying buckets of tears and he stepped closer and closer. stopped about 1m away from me. I left it there.
Last night I went back and just shared his paddock, reading. I felt him looking cautiously at me from behind and then he rushed forward and I felt him sniff my hair, nuzzle my neck and snort a couple of times. I got up slowly and moved to another spot. He came back, stood in front of me and let out a huge yawn. I gently reached out with my hand, he sniffed it and then tried to read my book. I left it there, felt like a good note.
I feel so blessed! Thanks for all your unselfish sharing. Er…..what’s next?!!
Love
Carol
Hi Carolyn,
I want to add how thankful I am for the Rituals. I think especially the one of Sharing Territory. If it were not for this one simple process, our move over 1600 miles may not have gone as smooth.
My horses had not been trailered in 3 yrs.
I took your advice from one post last year, and told my horses verbally and with visualization, we were going to move. Nothing hard core, just simple thoughts and discussion when hanging out with them. I told them I would need their help in making the move. I also told them I would be traveling with them, just like we did when Sharing Territory….just in motion.
Well lo and behold, the huge trailer arrived and each of my three loaded with ease–no hesitation what so ever, including Harry—first round and he was in and ready to go.
The trip took us longer than expected. It was met with events.
One event, we had a blown wheel bearing in KY and the horses had to stay in the trailer until help arrived. They were perfect gems, quiet and content for hours. I had been afraid Harry would start banging the walls down—but no, he was content as if he were in his own pasture.
At the border of Florida and Georgia, we had a flat tire. Once again their calmness amazed me….all three as content as if they were resting in the pasture while that tire was changed.
I know for sure, their calmness was due to us Sharing Territory.
Only difference this time, we were Sharing Territory on the road.
Thank you again
Kim Male
Dear Carolyn;
Though I had a horse when I was young, I thought I knew alot. If I have learned anything from Key at all, it is how much I DON’T know and how much she is willing to teach me if I will just listen.
I have been very sick for a long time and the doctors could find nothing wrong. Since Key has come into my life I have found a new energy and drive I didn’t know I had.
Last week, I was just starting to teach her manners around her food as she was becoming more aggressive. I was just starting to get her to back up out of my space, not all the way, but at least enough to be able to put her food down. I was struck down by such a pain in my back that I ended in the hospital and had to have my gallbladder removed.
My sister had watched me enough with Key that she knew what to do, but I had no idea how Key would react as she tends to get so pushy with me.
Well my sister has been taking care of her for almost a week now, and Key has been absolutely an angel to her. She lets my sister Lyn do anything with her. She is not at all aggressive with her food or with Lyn. I AM so pleased with her progress. We have just been sharing territory,and her basic needs. I had no idea she was even being trained. Thank you. I love your blog!
Hi Carolyn,
I remember on one of the calls you mentioned to someone to just believe it is going to happen. Don’t pigeon hole your horse and say “he hates this or he always does that”. This really resonated with me as I tend to say “they won’t come in from pasture I have to go and get them.”
The other day I went out to the 11 acre grass pasture of paradise to bring the herd in to the dry paddock for the day. That’s where the water and shade is. None of the horses would come when I called them. They pricked their ears but that was it. So I just went out and sat and waited. Well that got their curiosity and within a few minutes Pico my lead horse was heading my way with the herd slowly following. I just sat there and thought they will come, they will come and I believed it. I gave them all scratches on their itchy spots when they got to me and then I walked to the gate with 5 horses following. I don’t think this would have happened without sharing territory. I share territory a lot as I have really enjoyed this even though I love “doing things” with my horses. This increases the bond which helps everything else. The most important thing for me is that my horses want to be with me. You can’t make a horse want to be with you.
Thank you for everything.
Carolyn,
Several concepts of your Method have inspired 3 new dances for Oreo and me today:
Our 1st dance was a take off on the rap song, “Can’t Touch This.” Our music was entitled “Can’t Stay There” and the dance we did to it had one simple step for each of us: I vigorously took the territory where he was grazing and he lleft.
After we repeated our respective steps 3 or 4 times on the dance floor of the pasture, he chose to play the 2nd game, “I Wanna Circle You.” (Remember the Beatles’ “I Wanna Hold Your Hand?”)
I welcomed his idea and after 3 or 4 lovely circlesI asked for one last dance to an old childhood song, “Did You Ever See a Lassie Go This Way and That?” I drew him toward me, asked him to go left a few steps, and then go to the right a few more. What fun we had!
The idea of the music was reinforced by one of the stories in Paul Belasik’s book you recommended. All 3 dances were done putting our relationship first and the connection they reinforced was obvious and joyous!
I have 4 very different horses to play with and using your method has truly given me the gift of play in joyfulness. Your method has taught me to remove expectations and enjoy what the horses offer in the moment, whether playing or “just” sharing territory.
When I think I’m asking for one thing and then my horse does something completely different, your method has given me the way to look at it as a way to learn from the horse with a sense of humour and appreciation for the try. My change in attitude has given my horses the willingness to try whatever they think I might be asking and they also have found ways to “talk” to me, because you’ve helped me learn how to listen and remain flexible, unfettered by expectations.
It’s absolutely beautiful. I have 4 very happy, interactive and expressive horses who are teaching me more than I ever thought possible!
Thank you, Carolyn
Carolyn,
The single word that best captures what your method has taught me, so far, about developing my approach to dealing with my horses is “allow.” Liberal application of your simple insight of allowing sometimes-quite-long pauses for the horses to process my requests in their own timeframe has taken good relationships to a higher, deeper, better level.
I mostly do not have difficulty maintaining my horses’ attention. Prior to working with your methods, however, I made a deliberate effort to keep their focus on me by rapid-fire changes of direction and pace, challenging them to keep connected in order to keep up with me. To encourage this I used pressure to hurry them along. Since we were working at liberty, it obviously was not a lot of pressure (as the world sees pressure) or I would have lost them. But pressure it was. With the new clarity your program has given me, I can see that I was being unnecessarily bossy.
Now I seem able to get to the same place by using a lot of allow and slowing my pace to allow them to process better and volunteer more. Since I have become less insistent on polished performance and more interested in picking up on their contributions, my horses have relaxed and given me more attention, not less. I could describe several recent examples of this new-found willingness and understanding, but will restrain myself since you want these messages kept short.
I only add that the genesis of this change in me came largely from sharing territory. The pleasure of that quiet daily interlude with my horses before doing anything else with them made me feel more connected and less intent on imposing my authority. Simply being there in pleasantness, asking for nothing but being consciously open to whatever the horse elects to offer, creates a new presence in myself that carries over in large measure to everything we (the horse and I) do afterward. It is hard to define and impossible to quantify, but the change in me is definitely there and is reflected, very clearly, in a bond with my horses that appears to be deepening exponentially.
Dear Hannah,
Thank you for sharing. You are doing wonderful with your horse.
Start working on serptines in companion walking. This well help the glue and do them in trot once you have them in walk.
Do not press her nose back to get her to back up. It will casue some problems when you ask her to flex at the pole later on.
Work on getting rid of needing to use your whip. I can tell it would be very easy for you to wean her off it.
let her finish her trick before treating her. Give her a treat when her ears are up only.
Go ahead and bribe her with a treat in her pow but only then.
slow doing in the trick training with alot of standing still between tricks to build relaxation and willness. It will also help with the ears.
YOu can teach her to put her ears forward by waiting untill the ears come forward and then giving her a treat. Say to her “Ears” and then when it happens say, “good girl” and then the treat.
Thank you so much, Carolyn! That was so helpful.
I tried to implement all your suggestions in my session with her today. The “ears up” proved to be VERY difficult — she gets very frozen in the ears back position.
I stopped using the whip and found that I have been using way too much pressure on her and not really allowing her “no.” I think a big reason I fall into too much pressure is because she has very low energy/impulsion. She’ll slowly trot a bit at liberty, but once she gets “out of range” she’ll walk or halt until I get close enough to have her go again. When I ask her to speed up, she puts her ears back and swishes her tail.
How do I help build more life and work ethic? You had mentioned once putting her in a round pen and teaching her 3 speeds of walk/trot/canter. Would that be applicable here?
Thanks so much,
Hannah
Hello,
This post has reminded me that I have put too much pressure on myself and on Maia lately. I believe I need to be more aware of flexible boundaries, accepting her “no,” and deepening the bond.
With that in mind, I did have a video taken of our liberty work yesterday. If you’re interested, I would deeply appreciate any comments you might have on it. There is much we have to learn.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8mGLDzm2hw
Thank you,
Hannah
Carolyn, insiders circle
Sharing territory has helped my herd think of me as a member of the family. It has helped me be happy in the moment whether they come near or not becuase both are good.
It has really helped to shape the behavior and bring out more politeness in my rude boys who are like kids searching for boundaries and actually become more relaxed when I give them those boundaries.
The more I do ST the better everything is and vice versa.
I’ll take my mare Kría as an example. Through your method I learned to feel and read what she needs to be willing to cooperate with me. She needs me to tune into her ‘rhythm’, her ‘vibes’, before approaching her and during working with her, all the time. Now she can tell me what she needs and I’ll pick up on it. She feels understood by me now. When she doesn’t, she shuts off or walks away.
Since I’ve given her freedom and allowance, her usual resistance seems to have dissolved in thin air, she’s so much softer now. She loves being allowed to have her own opinion and because of that she’s becoming more and more interested in knowing all about my opinion.
These developments could never have taken place without Sharing Territory, because this ritual opened me up for sensing her needs.
Hi Carolyn,
with my mare, I make sure that when I approach her for the first time in a day, or after not having seen her for various hours or longer, she has complete control over the speed and manner of my approach. If she turns her head even just two inches to the right (at a distance of, say, 80 feet), I will turn my head to the right etc., and not come closer until she takes the first step or movement toward me. I have learned this from the hello ritual, and found that this works every day to create a great desire in her to be with me because it convinces her (again) that I respect her.
I think especially to high-ranking mares, respect is very important. Once she has decided to be with me, I can make requests and hold her to them, and she actually appreciates being held to my requests. I can lead her all over the property without tack, and she appreciates being held to my requests because she would feel insecure without them. But the first respectful approach is crucial in establishing my leadership.
As always, many thanks.
Christian
What a good blog today! I love the idea of the process being dynamic and flexible. Working with my 12 yr old gelding, we have made such progress that I seemingly take for granted at times until I work with my young mare and realize how much my older horse actually talks with me!
By working at the two very different levels of progress, I am able to really see what I am doing and evolve to communicate an idea better the second, third, and fourth times around.
Sometimes, I like to play with my young mare first so that my subconscious expectations are set at a really low level for my older gelding.. maybe just the expectation of ‘can you relax?’
When I do this, everything he does is astonishing to me and he seems to get really excited to do more when he sees my reactions to his beauty. It is no longer a ‘training regimen’, but rather a conversation of ‘can you…?’ until he answers ‘no’. I accept this, then we reevaluate until we get a ‘yes’ again!
The more I let him say ‘no’, the more he offers me afterward.
Through using your method, Carolyn, I have learn to see how my horses are feeling, and evaluate if it is the right time to train and be with the horse.
Then I have learned to adjust my program to fit to how I feel and how the horse feel. I used to have set agenda, today we are going to do for example saddle training, or today we are going to work on lifting hooves and I would be very set to do that.
Having a fixed agenda complicates things, and i feel really good just making up the agenda depending on what happens in the moment.
This does not mean we do not have any direction, we do, we are going to ride dressage and continue playing, but the journey may take many new interesting turns.
Now I can see the turns, the new exciting paths, I could not see it before.
I love it. We are on the path of discovery, we find new secrets every week.
I share territory alot alot, it is part of our “training” then I also focus alot on the small details in the daily day handling of the horses.
Lots of sun and rain from St. Vincent/ Stina