Refocusing on the Reason to Connect with Horses
Dec 20th, 2012 by Carolyn Resnick
A Leader of Leaders
A Leader of leaders is how I see the social roles we all play with one another helps to evolve man to his higher self. I would define the higher self as having a natural inclination to bring well being to others that would activate them to become a care taking leader in their own life. It is all about the leadership that we offer in our every day interactions with one another that plays a great part in the well being of our planet.
I have always been aware that no matter the role we play in society, from janitor to president, anyone can play a part to create more well being in the world at large. When we feel a connection and feel free to respond as leaders we have more of an ability to know when to speak and when to listen, when to act and when to pause, in order to support and strengthen the ones we are bonded with.
Making a Difference in the World
Giving up judgment and discontent helps one to see the actions one can take to make a “difference” in the world. What does this have to do with horse training and bonding in friendship with horses?
It is about what the horses have to teach us when we take the leadership role with them. In social interactions that bring well being to both the horse and yourself, we find a natural knowingness in how to lead.
Giving freedom to a horse helping us to make make the right choice in how to be a care taking leader.
Our Evolution to The Higher Self
In human’s evolution of social responsibility today we understand how to lead by laying down laws set in stone that control an individual’s behavior and teaches the individual to understand that the law is what needs to be maintained by everyone in order to keep the peace. However, it does not work that well. Alot of things are over looked when enforcement is the only reason the laws are followed. There will be a tendency to have a desire for freedom and to want to break the rules because it goes against our nature to feel free.
I love what I have learned from horses. They make me feel more alive and to look to the next horizon for my own growth as an empathic human being. Horses help me care for my fellow man because of what I learn from them. I feel something is always growing in me because of the freedom I give to my horse. I am driven to dance with horses because they keep me young and aware of how wonderful each day is in my life.
Giving Freedom
Giving freedom to horses through our leadership brings out the dance we are wanting to share with a horse.
We can create a horse’s desire to follow our lead, without using force through the bond that we form with them. Learning how to appraoch a horse in this manner helps our own society through improving our leadership behavior by what we learn from not using force.
The Key to the Waterhole Rituals
What I want out of the Waterhole Rituals is to guide people to find their own personal power to dance with a horse. Freedom and being truly aware of how our horse feels in the moment guides us to a world of unity and harmony.
The secret is to get comfortable leading and training a horse when you don’t really know what you are doing. Because from this perspective when we train a horse we are not too arrogant and therefore meet a horse in the moments he would be willing to learn, connect and dance.
Here are some questions you might enjoy responding to:
- How have horses made you a better person or have empowered your belief in yourself.
- How have horses changed your approach in how you communicate with the people in your life?
Upcoming Clinics
Linda Salinas in NC, USA is offering an Introduction to the Waterhole Rituals clinic to introduce people to my method. I am proud to support her work with horses through my method. This year she is working on getting certified in my method through the clinics she is offering from her amazing facility with her beautiful herd of horses as your teachers. Check it out and good luck to you Linda!!
** click on the flyer above to view a printable PDF **
Wishing everyone a happy winter celebration, Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah.
Have a great weekend! Watch out for new horse and human sightings and may the horse be with you.
Warmly,
Carolyn
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Dear Carolyn,
Thankyou for the beautiful post.
What have I learned from my horses about myself? Stillness and that I don’t need to make an appointment to meditate or be outside.
One thing I’ve learned from Stellar about people is that she’s a teenager (3 yr old PRE) and is still soft with her physical boundaries, just as my 12 yr old daughter is! So knowing that, I help them both hold themselves up, and allow the momentary bumps and leaning with good humour.
To Linda and your upcoming WHR course, how wonderful for you, for the horses, and for the participants to have your joy, strength, knowledge and kindness to share. I am so proud to know you.
All my love,
Robyn
Dear Carolyn
I was thinking of you, as the year changes, drawn in the direction of the New. So like your present lesson that does the other thing, mirroring the overlooked and subtle perspective. For the new – where the horse would naturally turn – is cast aside and all-that-is hi-lighted so that our relationship with horse may verge on the eternal.
You teach us, like the horse, to seek the unexpected, the path less traveled and focus on it. For, in this way, do we really perceive, really see, really form the so desired relationship we seek with our horses. Yes, by doing the other thing. You don’t just turn the horse’s head but ours, too.
So ‘Happy Old Year’ to you and may there be many more to come.
Ian
Happy Old Year and New Years to you too.
Thank you for being so kind. Your words are food for my soul.
Warmly,
Carolyn
Dear Carolyn,
What a wonderful blog this is!
Without you I wouldn’t be where I am right now with my horses.
You’ve taught me things that changed my relationship with my horses in the most incredible way.
But also my relationships with humans…. With my friends, with my colleagues… and with my husband…
Monique Ros always says that you have this blueprint for life and I couldn’t agree with her more! It’s true!
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you’ve taught me and for bringing back the JOY in my life!
Will be your student for the rest of my life…
Forever grateful!
Much love and JOY!
Aline
PS. So happy to see Linda will be hosting WHR clinics!
Linda your video is beautiful… and you are beautiful! I’m so happy for you! I know your clinics will be awesome!! xxx
Very informative post Carolyn! I admire you as a horse trainer keep it up. You have a good job. Thanks
“The secret is to get comfortable leading and training a horse when you don’t really know what you are doing. Because from this perspective when we train a horse we are not too arrogant and therefore meet a horse in the moments he would be willing to learn, connect and dance.”
Thank you for reminding me of this! It is such an important part of developing relationship and being able to see what the horse is offering. What a shame when we miss those moments!
Linda, your video is great and appealing. I hope you get lots of response!
Dear Carolyn,
Great blogpost
Being with horses has taught me that I don’t have to be hard or angry or feel stepped on just because I need to put down boundaries. Just because someone’s done something you didn’t like, or made a “mistake”, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world – or a good friendship. One can actually still be generally happy and feel safe underneath it all, even though there’s something that needs to be worked on. You can be loving while still telling somebody that this or that wasn’t the best choice of action. This – getting some ‘emotional distance’ – has actually allowed me to feel MORE connected because I don’t feel disconnected when something ‘bad’ happens or somebody does something ‘wrong’. Just like with the horses, there’s only OPPORTUNITY. It’s the battles you fight together that allow my relationships with people around me to grow – because I trust them more for it
What I’ve learnt from horses has given me the ability to stay connected and communicate in a positive way through the rough parts, and made me appreciate the value of these ‘rough parts’. It gives me the ability to maintain the feeling of playing on the same team while fighting, so I don’t fight people, but the problems.
Right now I’m an environmental worker/prefect at my school, which gives me a care taking role there, and I can see so many parallels between the horse and dog training and how people act when learning how to be together in a ‘herd’. Studying what works with horses makes me better at knowing when to step in, when people need to talk, when somebody needs a push in the right direction, when someone simply just needs a hug, and what to do to make people feel that you’re a person they can talk to. Horses also help me see when to get involved, and when to just give it time and let people ‘study their notes at night’ – as you say the horses do, Carolyn
Being a care taker isn’t always easy, there can be some kicks and squeals before people learn how to deal with things in a functional way. And having a care taking role also means putting in some effort to understand people. But I love it. You’ll know when you’re getting it right, because when you do, people will start giving back, just like the horses do. Studying how horses and dogs do things, understanding how to be loving and in the moment even in the situations of ‘correcting behaviour’, has given me lots more confidence in that care taking role. And that, I think, is something I will take back with me to the pasture
Best wishes for the holiday season to you and your two- and four-legged friends and family
Hugs,
Anne
Dear Anne,
Merry Christmas! What you are writing about is what makes life work or not work for us. I do see that learning how to develop relationships is so important. No matter what the out come good or bad in a relationship it is an opportunity to become more powerful and more nurturing to yourself and to others. A nurturing leader is hard to find that has the skill to create harmony and unity and to be able to bring out in others a desire to take an active role in the well being of others and themselves.
I enjoyed you sharing this with me.
Warmly,
Carolyn
Thank you, Carolyn, for leading and teaching us to lead. I have learned from you and my horses treasures beyond measure this year. 2013 is bound to be another breakthrough year, thanks to you. My New Year’s Resolution is to find a quality of leadership that is kind and strong, certain, confident and assured … and that is not knocked off balance by anxieties around me (neither horse nor human stresses). Thank you for leading the way to balance, peace and harmony. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas holiday. Kx
Dear Carolyn,
Just wanted to wish you and everybody a “Happy Holidays”!!!. also to take this opportunity to thank you for what I learned from you and what I continue to learn from my horses everyday!!Thanks to your clinic I have really bonded with my three horses in ways I could not imagine possible. There is more depth in our relationship everyday…and when I think it can’t get any better they surprise me with something amazing….
Thanks again and many blessings to all!!!!
Dear Carolyn,
My horses have given me a sense of direction and purpose. I know now what I want to do with the rest of my working life. They also help me to be in the moment, certainly when I am with them. I used to be simply reactive; now I check my emotions when I am working with them, what am I feeling and why. That might just be the biggest breakthrough for me.
Karin
Happy Christmas to you all.
Horses allow me to just BE. They accept me for who I am and I love them for who they are.
Thank you to Carolyn for your continued inspiration and support.
Much love
Carolyn B xxx
Hi Carolyn,
Very beautiful blog and I am continuing to read it over and over. It has such thought provoking insight and it is difficult to comment on just one thing.
The power of horses is multi-faceted in my life. They have changed everything inside of me and with those changes, they have given me the feeling of “coming home to who I am”. As my work continues with horses this feeling of coming home to my authentic self is magnified and continues to bear fruit. The reason I am so drawn to your program is the freedom and liberation I experience when applying your method. It continues to amaze me. With such discoveries, it has changed how I relate to people as well. The best metaphor I can offer is this: prior to the WHR I felt I was swimming upstream with horses and humans. After the WHR and your teachings I feel like I am floating down stream. In other words I am with the current and not against it. It has changed everything.
I am experiencing more then I ever dreamed I could with my horses, with your method. I will always be grateful for you Carolyn. A thousand thank your!
Have a wonderful Christmas and thank you for your continued support. It means the world to me.
Linda
Dear Carolyn
Really beautifull blog.
The horses show me beauty, patience and harmony in everything they do.
In my work with the horses, they let me see every day that a gentle leader has an important role. That strengthens me.
They let me stand up and rewarded me for my good behavior, by working with me and play with me.
It feels to me, that they sometimes see me as a child, and “by a child to reward, it can grow in freedom”. So as you say, Carolyn 2 ways.
If I do exercises with them and if it’s all good, it makes me happy. I reward them a lotttt and then, they laugh.
They say with their body language and their language, you do it allso well.
They make me great.
I learn every day of their way of dealing with each other.
Could not life without them, and not without you Carolyn
Thankss Carolyn
Merry Christmas,
Lots of Love Monique
Beautiful words and so true. Awesome that Linda will be sharing the waterhole rituals with the world!
Re:Giving up judgment and discontent – that pretty well sums up what I have learned from your approach, Carolyn. And could there be any greater (Christmas) present than this?
Sincerest Seasonal Greetings to you
Ian
I partner with horses in empowering children who have experienced a trauma, abuse or neglect. My method uses Carolyns concepts combined with play therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy and is called Horse Guided Empowerment http://www.horseguidedempowerment.com. I believe that horses have empowered myself to be much more authentic, a LOT more more empathic and ultimately more confident. They help me understand the real problem of my clients and even with non verbal clients I am able to find the problem within 30 minutes or less, just by reading their interactions. The horse mirror the clients feelings that’s nothing new and used in classic EAP too, but I believe my horses connect in a more profound way and they somehow connect a client to a higher (spiritual?) energy which starts a healing process. Its similiar to a flow experience maybe. I guide through the sessions, but the work is done by the horses. We do many activities similar to waterhole rituals, many times without tack. I like your idea Carolyn that horses teach us about freedom, maybe they give hope to my clients that there IS freedom of mind for everyone, no matter how terrible ones experiences in life have been. I have seen liberty dances happen with little children after a trauma relief and these are the most terrific moments of my work. Thanks Carolyn for sharing all your knowledge! It has changed my life with horses – and with people.
I love animals, never cared for laws , and control, being a good hearted person is easy for me. I have always tried to make people happy. My animals are my best friends. it’s not hard to see how they feel. My horse is very strong minded. He has given me so much. I have really learned a lot from him. My macaw is like a part of me. She is very strong too. Animals tell you what they need, understanding and love.
Horse and human communication are at their best with the practice of the Waterhole Rituals! Congratulations to Linda in her new role as a suggested trainer!
Merry Christmas,
Ruella Yates
Great blog Carolyn. I have to say that my horses have shown me how to be more patient, understanding, confident and how to slow down and enjoy each day I spend with them.
I have never really been very good at communicating with people, but great with animals. However, I have to give credit to your method in teaching me how to communicate not only better with horses, but also with people. It has really helped me to watch, pause, learn and then communicate with people.
Thank you, Teddie