Relax and Enjoy The Journey
Jun 10th, 2010 by Carolyn Resnick Method
Expectations be gone!!
I have gone from ice boxes to refrigerators, from fans to air conditioners, from wild horses to Arabians and back.
I have experienced closets in homes three feet wide as being more that enough room, to walk in closets as big as rooms not big enough. I have experienced a running hose in the backyard at 100 degrees in the desert with my Mother’s dish pan as my pool and the hose as my fountain. Today I have a friend whose swimming pool rivals that of a theme park. I am now living in a culture that is less satisfied, where the games are only focused on being competitive. I prefer games that are creative and bring communities together working on a creative project or dance.
Today I love to watch cooking shows because of the art and culture of it and the history and the way to bring joy to friends though cooking.
All the shows are a contest built on speed and performance and frustration. Yes, frustration is part of the show and if frustration was not there, the show might be considered boring. It seems that frustration is a good thing in all these shows because the more anger and frustration the cooking shows can produce, the more the rating go up. The public likes to be in a hurry and frustrated. All the shows are about frustration and a lot of confusion created by our expectations in how it should be in order to bring us peace.
Frustration becomes so much a part of life that we are attached to expecting disappointment and focus on what is not working instead of what is.
So the question I want to address is: how to help you with the frustrations of hitting the wall of a not so great day with your horse, and when we are not getting the results we hope for- to look at why things might come apart when we least expect it.
The reason can be that when you say you least expect it is a tip off that you expected something. You do not want to fall into that trap. Don’t be disappointed because it will only sadden you more. Bring more well being to yourself by being aware that everything is fine the way it is and if your horse does not agree with you, take him to a place that would bring him well being too. What happens at this point of the program for some is that they turn into ‘over-expectors’ and achievers. It is what I call slipping into the ‘trainers mind’ or ‘expert’ and losing the art of leadership and allowance.
Another reason fall out happens is the day before was so perfect the horse thought every thing was his idea and creates a take over. Yet another reason for a fall out is that you did something that created it the day before. Two ways to handle this is one: introduce something new, or two: sharing territory and enjoy the reconnection time you spend and slow down.
When there is an ebb in the relationship sit or dance but do not expect. Do not act when you are confused. When you are confused you are needy and wishy-washy or overly aggressive. Time will wash this state away and your answers will return so relax and enjoy. When there is a flow lead the way.
When you have separated from your horse put your interest on Sharing Territory with him. On your return, evaluate his connection and disconnection with you and come up with a program that would create a dance in well being or share territory in a state of appreciation for the way things are and find things to laugh about.
Give yourself permission to take a vacation with plenty of dinner and dancing with your horse and lots of relaxation!
Have a great weekend!
Carolyn
No related posts.
What stuck out to me in this post was some of the reasons a day might not be going as expected, and that it could even be because the session before went so well! Great things to think about.
Blessings,
Hannah
Correction of 31- Delete the word go – it should be “regarding expectations and …”
Wish there was time to edit our comments for mistakes.
Carolyn – Your response to Robyn is a fantastic lesson. It should go into your next blog book! I am keeping it to read again and again. It is very inspiring regarding expectations go and gives great practical dancing advice. The flow of your words are dancing! Thank you.
Dear Robyn,
This might help you: You might try to work your horse in a smaller area. It is time to keep moving your horse and allowing him to go were he chooses and while he is moving I want you to try and shape his energy by getting him to slow down or speed up. Then try to get him to go away or come toward you if you can. If you cannot get what you want, go with the flow, keep dancing. When your horse is not going were you want him to go, go with him and then wait for an opportunity while you keeping him moving to bring back his focus and willness to accept your lead by going in the direction you are sending or drawing him to go. Keep him moving some where. While your horse is cantering around you can even practice keeping him out of a certain area while he is moving. This helps a horse to want to be with you more.
When you dance with a partner you go with the flow and don’t let the breaks of connection show to your partner, you dance a little dance to cover up the lack of team work and try to play your partner back into the groove. Humans, when in the throes of making an effort to accomplish something, get lost from expectations.
Just experiment. Be an artist and create an abstract dance. In relationship all we have is trial and error and working with allowance and freedom of choice. We cannot make anyone do anything, but we can work with what we have; and we can encourge and keep the peace and police the laws of politeness in a way that is acceptable to the horse.
Your horse is a herding animal and is built to be herded. So herd him. You can now read when you are herding too much and could be considered a bully. Take a break every five minutes and treat your horse with carrots.
You did a nice job making a connection with your horse when he was not interested. He was not herding you. The reason your horse was not herding you is that you got to your destination with him. When this happens you are the leader and he is the follower, even if he is behind you at the time.
When you begin to feel lost put your focus on what it is that you really want to do with your horse or not do and then do or not do that. Put your focus on how to get a better feeling and return yourself to a feeling of well-being. Well-being for you and your horse is all that matters. The dance must come from those moments. You many not be frustrated at all. YOU may only be experiencing new neuro-pathways being fired up and that can feel like frustration. Congratulate yourself. You may be headed in the right direction.
It is an amazing act that we can work together from not knowing each other and train a horse to dance in an amazing way, when most professionals could not dance at liberty with their horses or ride bridleless. Their experience would not help. In my clinics I have given, the professionals are not as fast to learn as the horse owners. We all have a lot of fun with that one.
I would suggest that you take a private clinic for my Ranch.
In your letter you did not ask for my guidance. I would like to help you. How could I help you in this course? Expectations be gone!!!
Thankyou Carolyn,
Good timing for me too on this blog entry. I noticed myself getting a bit ‘pouty’ today playing with my horse Tom. He just wasn’t really interested and I had to remember not to ‘beg’ him, but walk away, sit down and read my book!
Later when we returned to the paddock at liberty he trotted off elsewhere while I put the others away and then didn’t want to be caught (very unusual for him) Finally I ‘walked him down’ and drew him in, and he decided on no halter but to follow me closely back and through the gate. Thinking about it now, maybe he was leading me from behind!! although he happily halted and changed direction with me.
I am feeling a bit confused so the blog was great. We’ve been sharing lots of territory, so I’m thinking that upping the energy may work.
thankyou, robyn
Hi again Carolyn
I had no pressing things this morning so allowed myself to wake up slowly and spent over an hour musing on this blog and some of the comments. My lightbulb moment was when reviewing somepotentially dangerous behaviour of my 5 yo mare Mimi (who had done so well at that clinic I attended nearly 2 weeks ago now). My fault – for not realising she was really worried about something, that I couldn’t see, and the other horses not particularly worried about.
She did not want to go into the area I’ve taped off, 6 weeks ago, so that the horses can all eat their own dinners in peace (my farrier was due), and charged out. I’d left the gate open and drove her back in. As I was shutting the gate she rammed me with her shoulder and as its been raining so much, the mud at the gateway was very slippery and I slid forward (I think I must have held onto the gate,) she barged past again, I “skied” further. She was sent back in with the same horse as at the start, and I got the gate closed and then pushed her around the area(rather angrily I’m afraid), “You don’t push through the people!” Afterwards I went back and apologised and she’s been fine since. Its been something building up over a few days, she was worried, I couldn’t see her problem and had the expectation that she would be fine eventually. She wasn’t and I could’ve been hurt,.
The “lightbulb” was thinking how anxious I often feel when I’m confused or worried about something, and the internal and external voices to “Do Something, don’t just sit there”, and the building up of pressure from paralyzing fear of stepping into the mist, possibly at the edge of an unseen abysss….. And then maybe exploding into inappropriate action.
I didn’t extend the time Mimi needed for things to become clear, so she could go forward with courage.
So I apologised, we’ve worked with the gate open so she could leave if necessary and just lead from behind, quietly, slowly and had some carrots waiting in the feed bucket for an instant reward, in and out until she was comfortable, a different horse.
Oh and yesterday I finally noticed there’s a horse across the road now…….
Dear Carolyn,
I really liked this blog post too. Many times I have experienced things falling apart the next day after a really great session. I always wondered why things going smoothly would cause me to lose Gunny’s respect.
Now I will quit thinking it was something I did wrong and understand better how to handle it.
Thanks for that,
Holly
Dear Carolyn,
I too find peace and joy in both cooking and being with my horses. But unlike the cooking show contestants/audience you mention and the horse show competitor I used to be, my pleasure now in these things is intense precisely because they are activities that do NOT frustrate me. I almost never follow recipies when I cook, just play with a general sense of what tastes will meld nicely together and how long things should cook. Most of the time it works out and my favorite “recipes” usually evolve with time and experimentation, sometimes for the better and sometimes not. Once in a while, I misjudge things so badly that I have to discard it all and start over, or cook something else for dinner. But not often. And since my meals now are just for my mother and me, both of us fairly indifferent about keeping scheuled mealtimes, no harm no foul. The proof may be in the pudding, but I get more joy from making it than from eating it.
With my horses, I think I understand what you are saying in this post on a level that is organic and heartfelt. First, of course, it is practical and effective to step back and simply share territory when my horse, or I myself, feel blocked in our path toward greater connection and animation. As medical doctors say, “First, do no harm.” Experience has taught me that I am likely to make things worse, not better, when I try too hard to actively “fix” a problem with how we connect.
Second, I have been thinking a great deal about that post you wrote a few weeks ago on time and what it means to us. In some sense that I cannot articulate clearly, time is the key to everything. There is a flow, a current in time. When I am in synch with my horse, the harmony carries both of us along and what I do feels right and effortless and automatic, like every gesture is amplified by some unfathomable push from outside me, or maybe from inside but bypassing my conscious mind. And sometimes that feeling simply isn’t there and I have to think about what I’m doing. If it (whatever it may be) is absent, it usually comes back if I simply wait. You are absolutely right that thinking about the beauty around me, the magnificence of my horse and my great good fortune to be able to appreciate the goodness life offers not only makes me feel good, but seems to help reconnect me with my horse.
Dear Carolyn,
What a wonderful blog post! It is so important for us all to stay grounded in what is really important. I think so often we get caught up in the rat race of life that many times we don’t even notice the new ears and tail we have grown! I also think that when we are always looking for the special moments in life we loose the spontinaity of the moment always trying to top the last greatest moment. Life is so precious, and this blog post definetly was timely and inspiring.
Thank You!
Thank you Carolyn for words of encouragement. They mean a lot to me. I will work on the bucket and companion walking for respect and do more balanced work with him.
Have a wonderful weekend with your critters!
Regina
Dear Mary,
I wrote the blog for you and I knew it was also timly for the class.
Everyone must remember that they should share the same amount of time between Sharing Terriotry with the other Rituals. I am very supportive of all my student that are not intrested in moving to the Rest of the Rituals. I wish more would take that attitude.
Stina has what she gained from the sharing territory for month and once I think for 8 hours in one day. She wrote to me and said nothing happned the hroses would not have anything to do with me and I said you did not sit long enough. Months went by and letter were sent and I kept saying sit and sit and sit. The horses came in and the bond is still growing but Stina would not be in the dance she is in today and she would not be making the beautifual films she is making and feels the connection to all things on this planet if she and flowen on through the Ritulas.
Every time you are with your horse do the exercise I asked you to do with the bucket in your lap. I do not know how we over looked this exercsie. Have you done this exercise before in the other class you took with me?
Remember that companion walking you need to stand next to his sholder and take a step and then wait to see if he will more with you and if he does not go back to were you were and then repeat untill he is walking. Walk him to a treat that he wants and you should then be able to experiance companion walking.
remember to evaulate the strings of connection.
Dont have a plan each day you go except for the bucket in your lab. Just feel live the pain or connection and what ever, just keep it real.
Call me.
Dear Regna,
KNow in your heart that he will come around and you can do it. Balance your work with him in allowing him to control you in is situation in where it does not want to go when he is afaid with working him around the bucket in companion walking for keeping the respct for your leadership or anything where he must listen to you no matter what. This way the relationship stays in balnace and you keep learing when to lead passivly and when to lead assertivly.
Don’t get cought up with the idea that playing with his rules and catering to him his the whole answer.
Thank you of sharing and you did a great job with him
Dear Sherry,
My blog is my class room and is not a chat room. You can go to the insider circle site to talk to others.
I like to keep my blog on the subject of learing and experiances and the topic of the blog.
I would like to answer you question. I think you should buy your little friend.
I have a mineture stallion and I really need him in my life. In the past I use to take him in my car to schools to help children to grow up to have empathy for animals. I took with me a stethacope, do not mind the spelling,
Feed up my mineture so he would poo on location. That was always a hit.
I would show the children the bottom of his feet and the frog and how it helps the blood circulate in his body. They show them his teeth and gums and tounge and the chestnuts on this legs to show how horses have evovled. Then I let them listen to the his heart and their heart and how horses have served us.
I know that in those times I effect children so strong many grew up with empathy for all things on earth and I probley played some role in their future choices for crears that would help to serve others that would also help to create more kindness and peace for the planet.
Yea, buy him!! That is my vote.
Love and magic,
Carolyn
Follow your heart/ intuition Sherry….
I went on holiday to Spain and on a whim went to a stud to see some Andalusian horses. There in a stable was a little bay 3 year old horse and for some reason my heart just leaped and I felt I knew him, he was very shy and was not going to make the grade as a stallion due to his conformation. He had been gelded and was for sale. I did not plan on buying a horse and I never do things without procrastinating for weeks but for some reason I just knew I had to be his guardian. That was 3 months ago and now he is with me in England. Every time I am with him my heart sings and I am at peace with the world….. Sometimes we meet animals along the way that are meant to be with us it sounds like your black stallion is calling to you.
Namaste
Finabhair
Insider Circle
Dear Carolyn,
As many have already said, this post was just what I needed to hear today. The day before yesterday we back slid because I took Micah my 4yr old out of his comfort zone which means he got too far away from Moon and became insecure and a bit frantic. Afterward I spent time thinking about it and wondered if I was the right person for Micah. Maybe he will never be secure enough to just be with me. Maybe I don’t have what it takes to get him there. So last night I took hiim for another walk to eat grass and he was hesitant to go with me. So I just slowed it all down and said I will only go where you want to go. I won’t take a step that you dont want to take. I stood at his girth and I mirrored his steps only when he took a step. We ended up quite a distance and I knew it was completely his idea. I feel I made it up to him for the day before. “Expectations Be Gone”. I’m still working on that one unfortunately.
Thank you,
Regina
Mary Insider
Dear Carolyn! I had tears in my eyes reading your post. It is so perfect for me as you know. I think that now the best thing I can do is share territory. It’s been very difficult, as it is for everyone, to be going through the final separation of posessions and selling the house. (divorce). Today as I was driving home from a Pilates class I thought about my youngest son being 9 when we moved in and now he is 28. Nineteen years. My heart filled with tears to be leaving my home. I am sad now and I can’t pretend I am not when I am with Commander but I can do things that we enjoy. Yesterday I held a bowl in my lap as you suggested that was filled with carrot and apple chunks. I think C couldn’t quite believe that this delicious treat was sitting there. He was hesitant and didn’t want me to touch him. But after a few minutes he let me rub his face while he munched and dribbled juice from his sweet mouth.
It is me that I have expectations of and this became so clear as I read your post. Thank you so much. We may have talked by the time you read this.
Hi Carolyn and class,
Everyone appears to be progressing great congratulations I love reading everyone’s stories. I am kind of in a holding pattern sometimes life presents many challenges at once and believe it or not the WHR has helped me to cope with minimal stress. I am happy to remain sharing territory and let my healing process become one and a part of the entire process. Sadly the little black stallion I had been working with and fallen madly in love with was taken to another farm while I was away for a week tending to my multiple tasks of redirecting my life. Question for everyone : I know he came into my life to teach me how to stand up for myself with grace and ease but I have put so much of my heart and soul into him that I feel like we have more to do together, so……… should I buy him or let it go ? I know it is a personal but I would appreciate any advise on this.
Thanks Namaste Sherry
Dear Monica,
I can feel him now. I am up and he is on my bed still asleep. YOur kind works and advise well caused me to greet him with more connection when he wakes up and walks down the long hall in the morining and comes to me and puts his paws on my legs and looks me in the eye and stretches his body in a way that delights my soul. At that time I will rub everything that needs rubbing and pick him up and return him to the bed because he likes that and then lay around together untill he builds up and appitie and then I will take him out to go potty. They breakfast with my complet focus on our connection and then he gets a greeny and then out for potty and a nap. Today will be a big day for me in my preperations on getting all my students in my head so I can see them with their horses so when we talk I am clear and spot on with my advise.
Martin with help me, My apprentic student from Columbia. Before that that we will approach the horses in the same way and in the process get so deeper connections going in the training and dancing bulit.
Thank you for the lead and I will look into her stuff and maybe go to L. A. and get some lessons. We do need help.
Insider Circle
What a great and timely post, and such honest, lovely and helpful responses! Thankyou for the poems, too!
In this context it is helpful to share our ups and downs with our horses.
I recently had a great time with my horse, and the next day was utterly awful. Now I feel better equipped to carry on the path.
In-the-Box Student
Thank you so much for this post, Carolyn! I find myself simply wanting to Share Territory and be with the horses. That for us, for me, right now, is enough.
Recently, I watched the Path of the Horse again, and in your interview, you talk about music and how big a role it plays with your time with horses. My CD collection could use a boost and while I share territory, I’d love to listen to some new music – what are some of your favorite CD’s to play at the barn?
On another note, I, too, acquired a new little dog in the spring. I’ve discovered a “trainer” named Tamar Geller who wrote a book/DVD called “The Loved Dog”. She’s in Los Angeles and I think you’d love her. Here’s a short excerpt from her book:
“Dogs need to feel connected to their owners and to their lives, and it all starts with you, the leader of the pack. It is not enough just to exercise your dog, give her some food, and then put her away like a toy until you feel like taking her out again. Similar to a toddler, a dog needs what psychologists call “secure attachment”, an invisible cord of love that connects one being to another. They need to know that even with some physical distance, you are still there for them, always connected. This is a kind of connection that goes beyond words, and it is important not to underestimate that connection in a dog’s life.”
Sound familiar?
Let the blessings be,
Monica
Carolyn, for me the flow I experienced yesterday with my mare Saegola (which I shared with you in the WRIC questions section) is a confirmation of this blogpost. To me it’s all summarized beautifully in this one line of yours about the state of confusion:
“Time will wash this state away and your answers will return so relax and enjoy. When there is a flow lead the way.”
This poem of White Eagle always helps me when I am in doubt over something (which is often!):
“When you are in doubt, be still, and wait.
When doubt no longer exists for you, then go forward with courage.
So long as mists envelop you, be still;
be still until the sunlight pours through and dispels the mists—
as it surely will. Then act with courage.”
(White Eagle)
In-a-box student
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you for today’s post, always so timely.
My experiences with the small herd over the last two days are testament to your words. My young horse Sun now lives with a brood mare and a 3 week old baby. The mare is a true matriarch and Sun is her second pair of eyes. I am hoping Sun learns how to be a great mum from this experience. Sun was flighty and hyper vigilant to begin with and now that has doubled, to the point where she rarely wishes to leave the mare’s sight. They spent the other evening spooking at birdsong! It occurred to me that I need to court the mare through the rituals and build a rapport with her to hopefully reconnect with a calmer Sun. I wasn’t disheartened and accepted that we would return to the beginning.
The next day I arrived with zero expectations and had the most magical day. Mrs. Mare greeted me with lots of affection, and breathing together, which feels very special from a lead mare. I decided to feed and treat Sun just outside the pasture gate and let her back in before she got worried about the separation. She quickly caught on and we repeated the haltering, walking out of the gate, get a treat and groom, then back into the pasture. As I returned to sharing territory they all followed me as I wandered around picking red clover. The baby is now sniffing a licking me, when she isn’t whizzing around. As I walked up the field to leave for the day, Mrs. Mare remained with me, with eye contact and intent and then to my surprise (she is permanently lame) and delight, she started galloping up to my side keeping about 15foot space between us, and then cantering and trotting in beautiful collection. Sun joined in on the mare’s far side at full pelt, the baby ran on the inside closest to me and I ran as fast as I could. For a few seconds we were parallel! What a day!
I love this little poem, I think it is appropriate following your great post.
Thank you
W. H. Davies
Leisure
WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—
No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:
No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.
God bless you, Carolyn! It was one of THOSE days with my mustang, Banner–after having a splendid ride on him just one day earlier. While I deal with days like these substantially better than I used to, by the third time Banner tried bucking me off so he could run at top speed up a hill the way he wanted to, his charm had pretty much worn off. I had already decided that tomorrow I’m going to borrow a friend’s arena and just sit in it with him and ask for nothing more than politeness–and then I read your post. It was such a breath of fresh air to not only be given permission to just hang out and enjoy my horse’s company, but to encourage it. Thank you a million times over! We’re going to “chillax” tomorrow, as my son calls it. (Combo of chill out and relax.) And you know what? We’re going to have a lovely day!
Someone somwhere ask a question and now I can to find the letter but I want to answer you. The question was it it rude of a horse to lick your fingers and should you let a horse do that?
Standard practice is if you like it and feel safe let your horse do what even.
The time to draw the line is when it would help you to gain more respct if you need it. When you feel the horse would start to be difficult to move out of your space then do not let him.
Keep your rules flexable so the horse checks with you to see how you fell about everything. YOu want your horse to seek permision. you dont want
This is what builds respct and friendship.
What I do as a stand exercise is to playing the game red light, green light.
NOw you can and now you can not.
Dear Carolyn,
Your post today was absolutely wonderful. I’ve seen over the years people expecting their horses to perform, or it’s on to another show animal. They live with so much frustration wanting to WIN the ribbons, they lose sight of the fact that a person’s life journey should be fun, relaxful, and full of happiness. This is why I quit showing my Arabian horses years ago. The show people took competing way too seriously, i.e. always searching for another winner, a better competitor, a horse that would perform with no behavioral quirks. Their expectations were a tall order by any standard, and this trend continues even more so today. Your philosophy is about bonding, loving and trusting relationships and to abandon “It’s about Me” focus of living. My priority is connecting with my current horse and being sensitive to his feelings and rights. Thank you Carolyn for all your efforts in assisting people and their horses live more harmoniously together.
Best regards,
Barbara and Monie
birroyal@aol.com
Dear Carolyn,
this has got to be one of the wisest posts ever on your blog. Thank you so much. I savored every line.
In concrete terms, the following line is something I had never thought of, and I think this is actually something that has happened to us more than once:
“Another reason fall out happens is the day before was so perfect the horse thought every thing was his idea and creates a take over.”
Whenever a session with my horse(s) is perfect, I’m always ready to take a break the next day because otherwise there is the let down, for all the reasons you listed, or at least change the subject and do something totally different. I don’t know if it’s because of me or because of my horse(s), or just the combination of us.
Anyway, such an interesting topic.
Christian
Carolyn, this is just what I needed to hear. Again!
When in doubt, share territory.
Insiders Circle
A wonderful reminder Carolyn, at a perfect time…so many expectations around me this last week or so and they continue through the weekend…I haven’t been able to go to the barn everyday as I usually do because of them and I miss spending time with Yowahtee. I am trying to go at least every other day, so have been mostly sharing territory and saying hellos to reinforce our glue through this time, although I did have the most wonderful day and ride with him yesterday. Perhaps it is because I am truly appreciating the precious moments I find to spend with him, amidst the expectations beyond the barn and pasture.
I am learning so much about how wonderful life is in the connected moments around us, where the wind blows the expectations away, and dreams blossom, the clicking of clocks fade, hearts grow and meandering is possible. Those are the moments when creativity and imagination abound, where skies are bluer, grass greener and the smell of horses is a priceless perfume.
Life is so much more than the hurry and scurry. It is easy to lose sight of the big picture, but it is in the quiet moments and growing connections that the most richness and joy sings to our souls.
Hi Carolyn
Couldn’t agree with you more. That’s why I gave up showing 3 years ago. It was frustrating even when I won! I did it all for me. We are a me society. I see it every day in my work and my life. I try to remove myself from that.
SInce your program I can’t wait to get out and read with my horses. I love reading but am too tired when I go to bed so reading with my horses has been wonderful. Except they hang around me too much and muck up my books. lol My books all have a special patina which makes them more valuable to me anyway.
I too expect things at times but my horses always bring me back to reality and I know when I have to adjust, walk away and take the pressure off.
Tonight I just went out and boogied with my horses in their paddock. My three were so curious and couldn’t take their eyes off me. I would dance up to them and say hello and then dance around them. They loved it and kept licking their lips while they remained fixated on me. My boarders horse was so afraid of me I couldn’t get near him until I went really slowly, which didn’t fit the music I was listening to but I did it for him. I took a short video of it just for fun.
Thanks for the great post. I’m 49 but sort of old fashioned in that I do like simple things and am not needy or a great consumer of goods. They don’t make me happy, relationships do whether it be with horses, good friends or my dogs (except the one who just dug up my shrubs!).
Hi Carolyn
Thank you for today’s post, it certainly applies to more than “just” horses. I’ve had many extremely frustrating (for me) things happen this week, and I’ve been trying to tell myself “Its probably for the best, and will all work out in the end”, but I haven’t been believing myself.
So I’m just going outside now, while its not raining and go and Share Territory for a while, and just feel the well-being. I hereby give myself permission for it to be perfect now just as it is.
Thanks again
Sue
I absolutely LOVE today’s post! It reminds me also of Eckhart Tolle’s excellent book, The Power of Now. So if you are sitting there reading today’s blog post wondering HOW to LET GO, relax and enjoy, check out that book!
Thank you for this one Carolyn; Just when I thought my whole world fell apart today with my horse, you were there to pick me up.
We are bonding so well as of yesterday. She has been perfect in every way. She no longer bucks and kicks at me and she will do anything I ask as long as a treat is involved.
She has a terrible fear of ropes touching her legs and we have been working on that. I don’t have a fence up yet so I don’t have the luxury of letting her roam at liberty. She has run off on me a few times down the road in the past. Today I wasn’t paying attention, something drew it away and the rope was touching her leg, she kept backing up as I had showed her to do, but it wasn’t working. She did not obey the halt command and turned to run off. I could not let go of the rope fast enough and it burned my hand. Normally she would take advantage of the situation and run off, but there she was at the end of my driveway waiting for me to save her from the terrible rope.
I was so wrapped up in my pain, I was angry with her. I took her back to the barn, gave her a treat for doing such a good job, but I felt like such a failure and she really did do a good job.
I try very hard to let her know she did a good job, even in my inabilities to get a message across.
You made me realize that not all is lost. I went out and sat with her for awhile and she wanted cookies but I just wanted to sit with her, no expectations.
Yesterday I brought a log to use as a mounting block once we get that far. I just used it yesterday to stand up on to pet her back and give her treats for letting me touch her back. She has been abused so she has issues with her back being touched. To make a long story short, she didn’t like it. I tied her and made her do it a couple times then I let her go and just asked her again. She refused so I sent her away, but she came back and let me do it a couple more times before walking away again. I praised her and let her go.
Well today while I was just sitting there, she licked the log and stood next to it. I got the treats and she let me pet her until the treats were gone then she licked the bucket clean.
You made my day! It was a precious moment. Thank you.