The Responsibilities of Owning A Horse
Aug 6th, 2009 by Carolyn Resnick Method
Hello again.
So many people have come to my Method who want to ride a horse as well as have a deep bond with them. Some are looking for solutions to behavioral problems. Many people are feeling snubbed by their horses. Others cannot gain respect whilst some are on a journey in search of a way to connect with a horse in the moment of unity and harmony.
What I offer through the Waterhole Rituals™ is support through a journey by accepting the horse for who he is right now and building a relationship in the most natural way. The Waterhole Rituals™ offer an enjoyable process to bring horses and humans together using rituals that horses use to develop a working partnership with one another. If you have the horse of your dreams and a wonderful riding horse, the Rituals will help you to develop a deeper connection in friendship.
Many people have discovered that horses, like people, have different personalities and that this needs to be considered when dealing with horses. The most important aspect of having a horse is picking the right horse to fit your purpose and personality. Horses are like shoes. Not only is the fit important but so is the purpose. Let’s say you have found a wonderful pair of heels that you can walk in all day and that don’t hurt your feet. They wouldn’t be the choice to go running on the beach in. A horse that would be great as a pet and is a relaxed trail horse would most likely not work out as a reining or cutting horse. A highly schooled dressage horse would not stay trained in the hands of a novice. When I look for a horse to buy, I search for a horse that is a match for me. It might take a year to find such a horse who fits my needs, ability and personality and I believe this is the most important step in owning a horse.
I would suggest that people need to have a lot of experience under their belt before owning a horse because of all the care horses require. I see so much accidental abuse of horses occurring by people who do not know how to care for them. Many years ago it was standard practice that people who were beginners were managed by experienced horseman and matched with a horse that would take care of them. As the person advanced as a horseman their trainer continually matched them with more advanced horses.
Once you learn how to take care of your horse the next step would be to learn the Waterhole Rituals™. I designed the Waterhole Rituals™ to help people, of all personality types and at all levels of horsemanship form a connection by allowing the horse to step into his true personality and establish a strong bond and respect with humans. The daily practice of the Waterhole Rituals™ will reveal your horse’s true nature as well as provide insight into the best way to handle his personality.
Some horses are dominant, some are leaders and others are submissive. If a dominant horse tried to become the leader of a group of horses, the herd would lose a certain amount of unity harmony, well being and trust. A submissive horse would never want to lead or indeed be able to do so. Just as horses have different personalities and skills sets, so do people, which is why it is important to match the two together optimally.
Often I find people who are naturally submissive and lack natural leadership skills want to own a dominant horse. This can be a real challenge as the dominant horse requires instinctive, natural leadership from the human in order to get him to go where you would like him to go. Therefore, for a submissive person it is very important to choose the right personality of horse to match both the requirements of the job and the person’s ability and personality. If you are a submissive person who loves your dominant natured horse and has basic horsemanship skills, then the Waterhole Rituals™ will help to develop respect and the bond that you would like to have. The Waterhole Rituals™ can also help you learn how to read a horse so that you are best able to pick the right match for you
The First Waterhole Ritual™ will lead you to a state where you are happy with your horse as he is and have a desire to provide for his well being. This is the starting point of my Method for anyone who wants to experience every part of the true nature of horses and become a true student of the horse by learning how to develop the ultimate match.
I hope you enjoy your weekend in harmony
Carolyn
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Becky,
I appreciated your honesty. I don’t know you but I felt proud of you and your ability to look at yourself and your horse honestly and make changes. I think it is hard for most people to look at themselves critically and to make changes when they know in thier heart that they should. Ego often gets in the way. Again, I am proud of you and what you are learning and sharing with others.
Dear Carrie,
It is much easier to work your mare with out other horses. Find a place that you know she would feel happy and then sit with her and wait tell she makes a connection with you. Then walk around and do repicoal movemtns with her my placing 5 hay piles about 10 feet of more apart and lead her to a new pile and let her eat and then Lead fro Behind to a new pile and wait you could groom her while she is eating.
This should grow the bond your leadership skills as well as the respct with out fear.
I purchased a 13 year old mare about 3 months ago. Shortly after we got her we acquired a 23 year old gelding from my father in law. The gelding is a retired roping horse and is very dominant. The mare is very submissive to the gelding but not me. She was an all around horse that was mainly used to larger men riding her. I guess I consider myself a novice rider and she can feel my fear while riding. When I first got her she would try to run back to the barn or revolt when I would try to run her away from the gelding. My horse consultants told me about the Water Hole Rituals. I have spent most of my time with 1,2 and 3 rituals. But the gelding tends to go in the way when I start leading from behind as the mare goes around him in circles. I do not want to force her through training, but I want to bond and have her respect as a leader. Do I need to seperate them when I am doing these rituals. I know I need more patience and need to do alot more ground work. Please give me some initial advice. I have seen the DVD over and over and read Naked Liberty. I do want a lifetime bond with my mare, but don’t know how to get started with this other horse around.
Dear Maureen,
What I provide for our horses and I do not concider it ideal are out door padocks 36×72 with shelters that are three sided 8×16 shelters with mats and shavings beds in the middle of there paddocks to role in with shade trees alone one side that they like to eat. Horses are on a slow slope.
I have a small field I can turn the horses loose in.
I would say to anyone intrested in having horses in the future that you consider have the ability to provide a perfect home that they have large fields to keep them with plenty of shade and and large dry paddocks and protection for the wind and cold and way to house horses seperately as well as a lay-up stall.
Always more room and friends is better.
A home is better than no home. Horses need other horses with them.
I bet your horse or horses are happy.
Dear Brenda,
How to develop better undersanding of body language is to become a horse watcher like a bird watcher.
Just observe horses.
One gesture can mean many things and have a completely different meaning depending on the context of the interaction.
Like tossing the head might be an act of joyfull expression or a bug bite or resentment or look at me or there is something to be concerned about or aren’t I fantastic or I don’t like what you are doing or follow me and trust me I know the way, we must leave quickly…..
This ability comes from watching and that the watching gives you comfort and more awarness and appreciation for life with out judgment or looking for the meaning.
You could practice having a feeling about something, It could be joy or sadness or needing to communicte to someone with out the ability to speak so you use body langage then express it with body language like a mime would. It is a fun exercise as well and will open an undersanding in what your horse is feeling and communicating to you.
Ask yourself what is my horse saying? Many times the answer will come to you when it would not have come if you had not asked yourself. Inside we know the answer.
Dancing to music and expressing your feelings is also helpful to get on the other side of not knowing to knowing.
Carolyn,
!! We both thank you !!
What you say is very true ! That’s why I so love your WHR because w/ any horse the bond & connection can be made in a way that both benefits both the horse & the human and from there I can imagine dreams can come true ! I am already experiencing this w/ my own horse
Dear Mitzi,
That being said and I like what you added, what I want to bring to the table on this issue is that if we except the horse as he or she is the journey is never ruff. It is the goal that causes the chaos.
If I want a trail horse I find a horse that likes trails and will take care of me and has nice gates and strong and healthy. If I make a mistake on the horse I choice I find out how to build the best connection I can with who he or she is and find another horse for the trails.
I make a packed that we can all make that I will not struggle or fource a horse when he is not willing or not a match. I will stay in the zone of connection.
I have gotten may letters from people all over the world that have said I now know that I can enjoy my horse and give up my struggle becuase I am aware that just being with my horse is enough. Then the horse became the horse of their dreams but maybe not their goals.
When I was a young girl I took riding lessons and was part of an equine 4-H group. I never had the opportunity to have my own horse. Because of that and my age at the time I was active with horses, I never needed to think about what choosing a horse that was right for me meant. As Carolyn said, my trainer would choose the horses I was to ride that fit my skill level/personality.
Eventually my parents could no longer afford my expensive “hobby” and I had to quit riding. The desire to ride and have a horse of my own never went away.
Now I am 28 years old and three months ago, I realized the only person that was stopping me from fulfilling that dream was me! So I set out to find a horse with my much more experienced friend to help.
I looked at exactly three horses before Bill, a three year old Appendix. When I first saw him I dismissed him, because I thought I was already smitten with the first (very beautiful) horse the barn owner brought out for me to see.
A week later Bill came home. It was hard for him to leave a mare he had become attached to where he had lived before, and not to be able to be turned out with the other horses at his new home yet, so he was quite distressed for awhile.
When he was a little more adjusted I began trying to work with him, just taking him on walks to familiarize him with the property, and I found a lot of difficulty in it. He was displaying pushy, nervous behavior and was barn/buddy sour, and very orally fixated (nippy, cribbing, gulping down buckets of water).
It got to the point where I questioned whether I had made a mistake in choosing Bill, or to take on horse ownership at all! The friend that was trying to help me adjust to being a new horse owner after many years of being pretty inactive with horses, is a dominant person by nature and was schooled in a strict midset where the horse should always have permission from the owner to do just about everything. Suggesting that I should “punch him in the neck,” etc. when he got nippy.
It didn’t take long to notice that Bill’s behavior did not improve with a sharp word or a tap (I didn’t punch him) when he was “naughty.” In fact, he started to challenge me in the way that a human toddler would, being antagonistic and fearful at the same time in his actions.
It was around that time that I came across Carolyn’s website. I decided that I needed to take a step in a different direction with Bill than my friend had advised. It didn’t click with the horse’s or my personalities.
I haven’t had the opportunity yet read the Waterhole Rituals or watch any of the dvd’s, but just from what I have derived and put into use from the blogs and excerpts from the book, I have been able to accept Bill, not try to conquer him. He and I are already much more respectful of eachother and are working on forming a very solid bond. Instead of fighting with him, Bill and I are really getting to know one another, and he is a remarkable animal and a wonderful companion. It turns out that he can be challenging (which is a great learning experience for both of us), but his nature is not dominant, pushy or aggressive.
I believe that the many years I have been horseless have been rewarded. I am truly blessed to have found the “dream horse” I know Bill will be as we progress with the Waterhole Rituals. I just needed to find the right tools to realize it, which I doubt I would have been able access or understand as a young girl.
In that, I have never had the wrong horse, and I think the journey with my horse will be a far greater reward than I had imagined all those years.
Very interesting and thought provoking post ,Carolyn !
I truly believe that horses and their humans are destined to be brought together for a reason ..to learn life lessons from each other for however long that they are supposed to be together..sometimes it is a short while, thankfully so if things go chaotic and other times it is for a longer period of times where the journey is a longer road opening up many new horizons …that being said a lot of times it seems as if Horse & Human are poorly matched it has been seen time and again and the result can be injury or abuse (unconsious or not) We all have choices, again consious or unconscious and we sometimes have to be careful what we really want. I hope I didn’t ramble too much
Hi Carolyn, thank you for this inspiring post. I truly recognise myself in it. I’m also a relatively submissive person who fell in love with a dominant horse. Luckily, she’s also extremely kind and good-natured, so we have a good relationship, despite that we’re not the perfect match, partly thanks to the waterhole rituals. Because of this, my horsemanship skills have improved a lot and I got better at reading my horse. Do you have any concrete tips for people who would like to improve their skill in the reading of the body-language of the different personality types?
Speaking of the responsibility of owning a horse… Carolyn, please share with us the details of how horses live on your ranch (that is, what is their living situation when they are not doing the Water Hole Rituals?)
I have been a horse owner for 32 years. My horse currently lives in large stall, with an attached outer area, about the size of the stall. She has neighbors. This amount of confinement very much concerns me, even though she is ridden daily. As a devoted reader of your blog, I would be very interested to learn about how horses live at your ranch.
I purchased a broodmare last year from an internet ad and picture. I didn’t know what personality I was getting. She is submission and somewhat shy. It’s been a challenge for me working in a sensitive manner for her. I strong correction brings a strong reaction from her, so I have had to learn to scale back any corrections to bring out her personality, trust and skills. It’s been a great journey with her and I look forward to trying the Waterhole rituals with her. I have blogged my experiences with her since the beginning and it really has been a journey through horsemanship.
I’ve always picked horses that are probably unsuitable…!! But then again, i have also picked horses that have demanded my attention to small (and larger) details of my person that i need to acknowlege and refrain.
I picked a very angry dominant mare some years ago, and yet now we have worked through all her problems, i noticed that i too had to learn how to be less dominant! I was always the horse girl that thought a hore woukd never say no to me, i simply couldn’t imagine a horse not doing what i wanted it to do. So when i bought a highly strung mare from a dealer, i just assumed in my hands she would be submissive (as did the dealer whom new me as a rough rider). Well did she wake me up! She demanded fair treatment and no force, and although i was always searching for a better way, i used far too much force to get what i wanted. I am a better person for having worked with Tilly – even though i nearly got killed doing it!
Now i have a big hunk of a horse, and he is really helping me ground myself and stay in the moment due to his extreme reactions. I can’t wait to start the water hole rituals with him, i know this is what he needs – and what i need – especially the first one.
But to be honest, i think i have always taken on challenges, even though if i was thinking rationally, i should have got something a bit more steady so i could practice the rituals with something less vulnerable. But like i said, i seem to be set on transforming myself after a far from straight forward life, and I guess i access this by falling for far from straight forward horses. But seeing their transformations, big and small, is very rewarding and makes me feel vital, like i can really do something and not have to fight for it anymore.