Why do I teach horse training in the same manner that horses communicate and train one another?

Photo by Mena Canonico

The Hello Ritual

It makes sense to connect with them using the social rituals that are natural to horses because they respond more easily to being trained. These rituals create friendships, respect and a deeper ability to follow the leader. The first thing you need to know about training a horse is how to make a connection that fits the horse’s personality and then that your leadership is understood by the horse. Working with a horse in a social manner helps him to be comfortable. When you communicate with him the way horses train horses, you have a direct line to reaching him in the most natural way possible, which opens the door to having a horse that would want to be trained and follow your lead. Training a horse by using the rituals that horses use develops your leadership approach to fit the individual horse’s nature and his changing attitude. A horse can be willing and the next moment, he can be resistant and then bored or excited, distracted, aggressive, and can turn shy in an instant.

When learning horsemanship, I believe the biggest hurdle to face is knowing when to lead and when to follow a horse’s wishes. People often freeze when a horse becomes resistant or bored and then they allow the horse to take advantage of them. They are afraid to face a horse with stronger leadership when it is called for and this is where the natural order is lost. It is about understanding when not to back down to maintain your leadership position. There is an art to being strong and inviting at the same time, and when you do this, it will not hurt the bond, it will help it. This is what I teach to horse people in my School and I believe it is the secret to the art of horsemanship. When this is understood, all areas of your life will work better for you as well.

What you may not know is that I have more up my sleeve than training horses and running a horsemanship school.

I want to make a difference by creating more empathy and peace of mind through how to communicate in order to create better interpersonal relationships. I want to help people learn how to not let life take advantage of them through teaching a kind of communication that will create interconnectedness and help the bond you share with others to grow. Though communication, you can create more harmony in the world, as well as create a love for community and a kind of belonging that will create more humanitarians. When a person is in a state of being in love with life and has a great sense of self, he will be more willing to take care of the needs of others. In this state of being, a person’s leadership becomes effective, inviting and magnetic.

We can raise the vibrations of the people through the way we choose to communicate with them. With just that alone, another soul is nourished.

We play all kinds of roles with each other to support one another’s needs. However, I believe that there needs to be a shift of perception with respect to our roles as leaders. I first noticed this when I was a child in the school system and at that time, I made a vow to myself to show the world how it can be different. School needs to be a community that helps and supports the student with compassion and leadership that is inviting. All relationships need to have these elements within them.



I did not like how I was treated in school. I had to do what I was told and I had no rights except that no one was allowed to lay a hand on me, although I was still hit by the principal, teachers, and bullies. I had no rights except for bathroom privileges. I do not think a child should be made to sit down in a chair most of the day and pay attention. If a child resisted sitting in a chair, he or she was considered to have a medical condition – attention deficit disorder. I called it being a child. Children want to play, not sit. It seemed to me that learning should come from empowering the student through better communication and empathy, and by offering interesting activities that develop work habits and interconnectedness.

If a child does not get good grades, he is generally shamed. If he does not like a subject, that’s too bad. It is not the fault of the program, but the fault of the student for not trying hard enough. I opt for no-fault insurance and the right to pick freedom and consideration. The ideal program is one that creates a sense of self and a love of community, and one that lures the student to want to learn. The way we are taught, we lose all sorts of dignity and do not have the chance to develop a great sense of respect for ourselves or for our classmates.

Everything is a competition when it could be working with interconnectedness.

So what are these kids going to grow into? One thing I know is that they are going to ride herd on themselves all of their lives for not measuring up to an invisible yardstick they set for themselves. They may not get to the point of feeling good enough to know how to help others and how to bring the world into a higher vibration.

Jazz and ApolloIt is my belief that the training of horses in a free open environment for the purpose of developing interconnectedness brings a sense of well-being to the soul and evolves you to have more desire to love yourself, as well as more ability to lead and support others. Learning how to connect and lead from the heart can bring fulfillment and abundance to each day. Horses can teach us how to lead in the moment when others would be willing to follow, how to communicate and how to love in a way that grows respect and well being in both parties.

There is a sacred geometry that horses follow to create partnerships with one another; this helps them to form a one-minded connection that then leads to a unified, loving herd. This way of evolving relationships can help mankind.

Learning how to connect with and train a horse through communicating with them in their own language and using their system can give humans a philosophy of life to live by that can help to heal the planet while healing themselves.

Learning how to keep the connection and magnetism alive in a relationship with a horse in a natural setting opens a door for people to know how to make better connections in their own human world.

The secret to personal empowerment lies in knowing how to respect the personal space of others, how to use flexible boundaries to keep your self-respect, and how to grow the bond through the influence of your communication.

Horses have influenced man’s spiritual understanding of the world for thousands of years.

I predict that horses will have an even greater impact on the world by creating a new consciousness that will increase man’s ability to care for the planet and his own kind. As I see it, looking at the culture of horses can help us to see a universal wholeness and loving interconnectedness that can change the way we perceive life, our role in it and how it plays out.

What I have learned from horses is that that they know when the individual needs to put the community over his own needs and when the community needs to put the individual’s needs first. They just know because they share interconnectedness; we as humans do not have that ability because we do not feel all-powerful or have a deep sense of belonging and a love for all living things.

Man has always evolved to a higher consciousness through history. I can see horses helping man to reach his next stage of development, as they teach us how to grow our ability to connect with one another though better communication as leaders, teachers partners and friends. I believe that we have stepped away from caring about our relationships with one another because of our competitive attitudes and discomfort with ourselves.

My Waterhole Rituals can create a symbiotic trust and forever loyalty with a horse.

Learning this skill helps us to know how to communicate better in our human lives. There is a time to pause, a time to act, a time to support, a time to lead, a time to follow, a time to speak and a time to listen; all this, we can learn from horses.

Losing sight of the sacred geometry in how to connect and communicate is pretty normal for humans. But once you have learned to lead horses the way they want to be led, you see that you have a formula of communication that works with all living things, which will give you this sense of belonging I spoke about earlier. This will allow you to make changes in the world and create a higher vibration within yourself and others. Once you have danced with a horse to win the right to lead him and the bond is deeper than you knew was possible, life will have new meaning.

Life becomes experiments of the heart.

You can see your role and the opportunity to raise the consciousness of man, and you create more harmony around you.

Once a horse has brought your spirit alive by experiencing a spontaneous dance created from your leadership communication, you become inspired to want to make a difference in the world from what you truly enjoy doing. Money will never replace a need for fulfillment or sense for belonging. Learning how to develop this dance with a horse will open you to yourself. Your reason and purpose for being alive will be clearer. In this clarity, you may find your calling or discover a deeper meaning to what you already enjoy doing that creates your fulfillment.

It is my theory that if everyone were to follow their calling, the world of man would find a universal wholeness and loving interconnectedness that would support the web of life and all living creatures great and small. Horses can open the door to loving all things when the walls come down and the dance has no more importance than to dance with a horse where the bond is deeply shared between you. The meaning of life emerges from the dance and I get to watch people heal and I get to make a difference in the world from what horses have taught me about compassion, care-taking leadership and the love of community.

Comments & Upcoming Programs:

I would love to have this blog kick off some engaging conversation on any point of interest you might have, including the deeper meaning of the horse and human connection.

If you are interested in discovering how to connect and train a horse from an interpersonal relationship built on a bond of trust, using rituals that are natural to horses, I have an online course: The Waterhole Rituals starting March 24th, 2013. If you are new to my method and would like to talk to me regarding whether or not this course is right for you, we can set up a time to talk by phone. Email my office at [email protected]

If you are already a student of my work, I have a request:

Please share this blog to spread the word about the secrets of the horse and human connection, and let people know how you have benefited from the Waterhole Rituals and my courses. I would love to welcome more people into our special world – the more the merrier!

Have a great weekend! Be on the lookout for more horse and human sightings and may the horse be with you.

Warmly,  Carolyn



On another note, I am looking for a professional trainer that can train and ride well to live here on the ranch with me so that we can make videos with me on my method. My focus is dressage and bridleless riding. You would not need a dressage background and a Western working horse background would be nice.

In the upcoming months, I will be writing one blog a month in order to work on some more videos for you. However, I will make sure to pack the blog with lots of great information and lessons.


Here are some videos I would like to share with you:

Link to webpage for above video


For those of you following my mother’s progress, here is another childhood story:

handsI remember having a family gathering at my grandmother’s house when I was a child. I was going to meet my great great grandmother. That day, all my Grandmothers on my father’s side were there – from my great, great grandmother to my great grandmother to my grandmother. I was told that this was a very important time for me because it was rare that a person gets to meet their great, great grandmother and to have all their grandmothers alive.

They also told me that the wisest woman in our family was my great, great grandmother, that each successive generation was the next wisest, and that all of the women in our family were very wise. I was told that as you age, you acquire more wisdom. However, I did not really understand this until now. I can see that with every year that passes, I acquire more wisdom, as well as more ability to endure and to support others from the heart like my grandmother did for me.

My mother did not share very much with me about her growing up years on a farm in Idaho where they grew potatoes. It was a farm that was self-sustaining; they grew all their vegetables, raised their meat and had dairy cows. They made everything they ate from scratch, except flour and sugar.

beesI did learn something about her experiences on their farm when we lived on my horse ranch in Sonoma, many years ago. One day, I walked outside to see two big black moving clouds taking on many shapes. I thought it was black birds or swallows. I went and got my mother to see these black clouds in the sky. She said that they were bees. I became concerned and she said there was nothing to be scared of. She told me that they were relocating their hive and that in Idaho, they wanted the bees to relocate on their farm, adding that if you got a large pan and beat it with a spoon, it would bring the bees to land somewhere around us. So as soon as I knew I did not need to be concerned, I ran into the house and got a pan and spoon and started beating it. Sure enough, it brought the bees down out of the sky to land on a hollow oak tree that was about 40 feet from where we were standing.

The tree was right where we parked our cars. It took them just a couple of hours to move into the tree. They stayed there for about 15 years or more and never bit anyone that came to the ranch. Many times I would visit them to feel their energy and meditate with them. I would watch them leave the hive and fly far away across the meadow. I would also try to spot them flying back home. It was a good feeling to watch my skill for spotting them increase. Keeping company with the bees increased my life experience by my curiosity about them. They kept the wonder of life alive in me, and kept me young and on my toes.


My mother is doing well; she is happy and singing. She does not like to walk around so much right now because she has an infection in her blood stream that causes her feet to hurt, so we keep her feet raised. Apollo is keeping a good eye on her. She wants me to work more with the horses, so I am getting more hours of nursing care to allow me to do that.

Thank you for all your support, from wanting to hear about my mother and I to your financial support that allows me to keep her home. If she were in a rest home, she would be miserable. She would be on drugs to get rid of Sundowner’s and they would keep her sitting down. She would be so groggy, she would stop eating and possibly choke to death.

While my mother has been with me, I have always needed to keep track of her well-being. I have been taking care of her for 35 years. These days, we are doing exercises on the TV together and I will have videos soon. Thank you and any continued support is so appreciated.

We are going to start selling my household things to continue to keep Paulina here. It is so good that I have stuff to sell and your continued contributions for her nursing care!


Donations and Payments

If you would like to donate any sum of money to our cause, it would be so nurturing for us and appreciated. Even as little as a $5 donation would be so important for her care. Anything you would like to contribute would be greatly appreciated. Click the button below and choose from one of the boxes or click on the link that says ‘Or, Donate A Different Amount’ to enter any specific amount.

There are three levels of support in honor of “Paulina’s Program”:

1. The “Marchador Level” – $150/month
Video Group Coaching + *bonus* 15 min private coaching + chat room
Open to 10 people – March 17th 2013

2. The “Honey Level” – $75/month
Conversational Group Coaching + video access + chat room
Open to 20 people – March 19th 2013.

3. The “Ladd Level” – $50/month
Both Coaching Call Recordings – Over 4 hours of Coaching! + video access

You can see the details on the donation site.
Thank you all very much for your love and support!



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