Staying in harmony and unity
May 21st, 2009 by Carolyn Resnick Method
Hi. I’d like to start off by thanking you for all the emails and messages you send. I’m often inspired by the wonderful stories and indeed was moved to write this following an email from a lady called Liz. Liz has what I call a true partnership and if she wrote a book, we would all benefit from it.
Her experience with horses is the formula in how to have a great connection and partnership with horses. It boils down to heart, caretaking leadership, experience and education. I was especially moved by Liz’s letter and pictures because it reminds me of my own personal journey with horses in my life. Liz has the right education and a natural gift with horses. It is the secret in getting along with them. I believe that most people who are drawn to horses, who understand caretaking leadership, can have this kind of relationship with a horse with the proper training and experience. Liz has put in the time and been educated in a proper manner.
Most people today do not put enough thought into becoming educated and matching the horse in their life with their ability. Once you have had enough experience in harmony and unity, in riding and connection, with proper guidance you can be the rider with the partner of your dreams like Liz.
The message I am conveying is that riding horses is an art and needs to be approached in this manner. There are too many people who do not put in the time to learn horsemanship, do not choose the proper horse to fit their abilities and do not learn what it feels like to be in harmony and unity with a horse on an everyday basis. Everyone in Liz’s life was there to support her and her desire to have Mars for her riding horse. Mars choose Liz because they were matched. Liz had the heart that Mars was looking for and needed and the experience, which is most important. Thank you, Liz, for sharing.
My last word is that the journey you take in staying in harmony and unity is the secret to being a great horse person and having the connection of your dreams. You can be a great horse person today by allowing harmony to lead the way for the journey ahead on an everyday basis.
Till next week, I’ll leave you with Liz’s story below.
Best
Carolyn
P.S. Mark asked me to mention that as the Waterhole Rituals Insider Circle Program starts this Sunday, the Box version ($117) will not be available after this date, so you only have till then to join us. Here is the link to find out more Coaching Programs or you can just use the button here:
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I am a ponyclubber who started out taking English riding lessons once a week as an eight year old girl. My first mare, Tess, the wonderful packer that every kid dreams of became mine as a thirteen year old. My parents agreed to pitch in what I raised so that I could have a horse and I worked and worked until I had one thousand dollars. We wanted something attractive and trained, a nice pony club mount that would put me in the ribbons. This was not Tess, at least when I got her. She was seriously neglected and abandoned. When I saw her, her head fell limply, her lovely flaxen chestnut color was a grey brown, matted mess, she was infested with worms and was 6 months overdue for a trim. Her eyes were swollen from conjunctivitis and had so much eye mucus that she could barely open her eyes. She didn’t care about life, she looked as though she wanted to die right then and there. My Mom wasn’t sure and neither was my trainer. Her background was sketchy.
Being a rescue, all we knew was that she had been locked in a stall with a round bale for months at a time, rarely getting water changed and never getting her stall cleaned out. So I told my Mom, she was it. I looked into those swollen red, mucusy eyes and I just knew it was up to me to give her life back. We kept her barefoot, with the softest of bits (a rubber dee snaffle) and very, very quiet, kind handling. I used soft trail rides and kind words to encourage her to have fun. I never pushed her and watched her moods. Others, “professionals”, would try to ride her and even though she was only 14-2, she would dump them off in five minutes. But if I approached, her ears would perk and she would stand quietly for me to get on. This abused mare turned out to be one of the greatest little pony club mares ever. We evented without ever having a refusal, stop or poll. We had excellent dressage scores and made it to first level. In two years! But what she accomplished was not why I love her so much. I love her because of the friendship and trust we built. That second year, I rode her almost everyday on bareback trail rides in the famous Hitchcock woods. We jumped three foot steeplechases bareback and gave those fancy hunters and their warmbloods a run for their money – bareback and shoeless!
She started to age as I grew and we retired her out with her pony friends, where I visit her often and play with her in the field.
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Then came Mars… When I first got Mars, he felt isolated, unwanted and used. He had been shipped all around God’s green earth from Ireland to England to California to Massachusetts and then finally to my home town, Aiken, South Carolina. Mars was extremely standoffish and would pin his ears at any passer-by. Yet he was so beautiful, everyone said so. Mars had been ridden in a very uncaring manner. They were good riders but they didn’t care about him, he was a ribbon maker and a sales project, always. Mars never knew humans could care for them. All he knew was that they shipped him off in scary boxes to unfamiliar people and places, only to keep him in more small boxes, added to which were also rigorous training and showing schedules.
So there I was, looking for my next horse, a bigger pony club mount. I saw him across the barn aisle where he was obviously glaring at me, ears pinned and eyes squinting menacingly. I was looking at the sales horses and my friend had noticed him first, remarking that he was vicious. I looked at his glare and saw something else. He was the horse I requested to ride first, but of course, they put me on the sweet thoroughbred mare, a flashy uncomplicated pony club horse to try. But all I could think of was not messing up with Mars. I wanted my parents to like him, not be afraid for my life on him, so as I rode the mare, I thought of strategies I would use on Mars.
After much begging, they finally let me get on Mars. He was put off and volatile as I predicted. But as I rode his body softly, using a soft whisper and stopping to pat him every five minutes, he started to come out of his shell. His ears perked up and his stride opened, he wasn’t quite as defensive as when I first got on. I didn’t feel satisfied at our mediocre performance, because I knew my parents wouldn’t be impressed at his unwillingness to be ridden. But I also knew the diamond in the rough these people had on their hands. I requested to ride Mars the next time around and he didn’t glare at me. The next day, he actually looked kind of fondly when I came out and began petting him. A stablehand working there said that he had seen me ride Mars and was worried that I would get hurt trying to ride him but said it was the best he’d ever seen Mars go. He added that, in fact, Mars was always trying to buck people off.
So, after a long process of winning my parents and my trainer over, I ended up getting Mars. I made riding fun and always asked his permission with everything. He is now barefoot and I often ride him saddleless with a bitless bridle and we are doing third level dressage, training level eventing, and 3’6″ jumpers. We rarely show now, we mostly just play in the pasture or go on quiet trails or practice “dancing to music”. Recently, he underwent colic impaction surgery by accidentally being fed the wrong hay. Athens GA hospital is 3 hours away, 6 hours there and back. But for two weeks, every day I went and visited him for an hour, getting back around 11 o’clock and getting up at 5:30 to go to work so I could pay for him. The last three months of rehab, I’ve tried to go out twice a day, everyday, to go on long walks in the woods next to him. I put the halter and lead on for show (the barn manager won’t allow it differently) but in the woods, I don’t hold on. He doesn’t want to go anywhere but right next to me. I would do anything for him and he would do anything for me. He is my best friend and no longer lonely, angry and depressed, but a sweet, loyal, happy friend.
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Hello, it is so nice to hear people share the same way of thinking of me. I truely believe in harmony amongst all things and between horse and rider the amazing connection you can find when this happens is amazing. I have reently been having lessons with a fantastic dressage intsructor who i found on Anything Equine and he helped me and my horse connect in such a fantastic way using an understanding nature.
Katrina,
Did you get my response?
To have a connection with a horse that is trully deep sharing space is the way to get there, even if it takes a life time. That is how children do it. For me I look foreven untill I find the right horse.
Horses are like lovers. You don’t just grab a man off the street and drag him home and start feeding him because you love men. You go to find a connection and be happy with the connection as it is on the first day and then let the relationship unfold organicly for better or worse.
You know when you have found it by when it is worse you still feel you would not have it any other way.
Brings tears to my eyes. I understand that connection I had it with my horses growing up and am trying desperatly to find that with the horses I have now.
Dear Liz,
Thank you for sharing your heart warming story. Youngsters have such natural instincts when it comes to horses, to all animals for that matter. I hope to regain some of that non-judgemental intuition though the Insider Circle course.
Thank you
Great story this is what it is all about -a loving connection and just hanging out enjoying all sorts of experiences together -very inspiring thanks
What a wonderful post. I see you live in my dream section of the country. I hope you are still there when I finally get to move there. Maybe I have your next life partner in my pasture. Good luck in your life’s journey.
Bravery without bravado, skill combined with heart, to have a vision in mind, yet the softness and flexabilty to accomodate the spontaneous – and ofcourse, the unexpected. This is the fine balance of partnership, and one that Liz’s inspiring story and pictures bring to light and show us what is POSSABLE! For all of us. Thank you for sharing such story and making me glad i am on this journey, because it’s not always easy. I don’t have any support – apart from my 10 year old son who is the only one who understands what i am trying to achieve. So it is good to be here, to share, thank you for this wonderful community!
I remember my wealer dealer ex who never understood horses, and treated them harshly, leaving them shut down and frightened to even move a foot. He laughed when a trainer i had out to see one of his horses said ‘Becky – just LOVE HER! She trusted that i had all the right measures in place in terms of basic training – but she picked up on the most essesntial connection i was lacking – loving a horse the way i did when i was a child.
I siad to my ex: Love has bounderies, love is about sharing space and giving eachother space, love is about understanding one and others needs, love is sometimes hard work and takes clear communication, and ability to see the world from more than your eyes only….ofcourse, shortly after that i dumped him! And learned how to love horses again instead….!
this is so going deep and inspiring, thank you.
This is pure inspiration, thank you Liz!
It is often the most difficult and untrusting that turn out to be the most loving and trusting once you get through that facade. I know I have one. Took a while to get through, but like Liz, I have a friend for life. Wonderful touching story.
I am especially touched by Liz because I see such a total lack of connection with the pony club kids I encounter and the show people. I try to build this connection with my students and their show horses and the ones who don’t want it usually wind up riding with someone else who doesn’t care about connection. I have a great bunch of students, and the more I teach this, the more I attract this type of student. Perfect
Hi Liz,
Your story is so inspiring to me! I’m just beginning my journey with an abused mustang. I hope one day our story together will end as happily as yours has. Thank you for sharing. –Carol
so awesome, when fear and anxiety meet love and kindness! Liz you are an inspiration to us all
May every horse be blessed with a Liz, and every person seek this level of harmony with horses… What a wonderful world we will create in our lifetime! Blessings to Liz, Mars and Tess!
thank you liz for that story. you have a big heart and listen to your insticts – you go girl!! your horses are lucky to have you.
Hi Liz,
So happy to read your story it made me cry…I just love it.
I wish for the people to take example from you and your horses—all they have to do, is watch and listen.
You are a true inspiration and an angel blessing for horses.
best wishes
kim
Thank you so much for sharing your story Liz.
It is beautiful and I am sure will inspire many.
UK
wow what a wonderfull story
thanks for sharing
Thank you Liz. May your loving choices be inspiring lessons to others.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful partnership(s)