Staying on the Cutting Edge of the Moment to Evolve our Connection with Horses
Apr 22nd, 2010 by Carolyn Resnick Method
This is a note on how the ‘Insider Circle’ and ‘In a Box’ Programs are doing. I have read your stories showing how many of you are on the cutting edge of having incredible experiences with your horses doing nothing… leading to something that could have never taken place if we had not be practicing the importance of the “pause” with the First Ritual, “Sharing Territory”. Some of you are going to be able to bring new discoveries to the horse world and me from your experiences being in this class. From these shared experiences, we will discover things together that will help the world of horsemanship advance and evolve.
We are always in the experimentation of creating willing connections and growing friendships with horses if we are truly present in the moment. We want to be always learning more about horses. We want to be a student of the horse and comfortable not knowing where our journey might lead. What ever we reach at the end of the journey is usually greater than we can imagine. The horses enjoy our company as much as we do theirs and when this happens, the dance is really quite natural. Sharing territory in the “pause” of feeling connected, horses are more willing to bond up with us right from the start to learn and work with us, because it brings them a feeling of connection, well-being and companionship.
The amazing connection and results that some of you have been experiencing using the First Ritual, have taken place because you have learned to wait until the horse starts the action. Waiting for this to happen is an amazing door opener to the magical partnership that springs forth. Though some of you in the class may not be having such amazing experiences and results and maybe feeling like you haven’t found your magic yet, relax and trust the process, it may just be the circumstances that you are in. Your horse may take longer to bond due to several factors like abuse, something he has to get over first, or challenges that might be present in the facility your horse lives in that slow down the connection process. It’s also possible that you can’t stop “doing” and just be with your horse. Whatever it is, that’s in the way; it will disappear if you keep sharing territory.
I just want to say, please believe you will reach a result that is profound.
We all want to walk our own journey and my Method is to teach you how to do that.
Once you learn to trust the power of the “pause,” things happen.
After repeatedly sitting with horses, once the bond is formed, having shared many moments in companion energy, I find that I can jump into action and have a horse that dances with me as consistently as if he has been trained.
I want to address what I mean by companion energy. It is metaphysical, scientific and relates to quantum physics. It is tangible but not that you can touch it. It is tangible because it can be measured. It is a vibration.
Matter and vibration influence each other. In matter, there is magnetic vibration that occurs between two objects, in time they will synchronize and form a connection. When this happens love, communication and trust are the outcome.
If you are creating all kinds of vibrations, like wishing your horse would come to you, sending telepathic messages, or being distracted with other thoughts or feelings while sharing territory, you cannot connect as deeply. Also, if you are doing some activity with your horse like grooming, cleaning, or maintaining your paddock, at this point of the method, there is too much going on to have a cellular connection take place and mature.
The rhythms and juices you have in your body need to match the rhythms and juices of your horse in moments of the “pause” in companionship. When this happens communication is instinctively understood by you both.
To dance at liberty you need to have shared vibrations and energy to stay connected. The “pause” will bring you knowledge in how to do that.
If you are in the class, it would be very nice if you would share with us your experiences that are heart warming and show the value of using the First Rituals for the regular blog readers and those that need convincing or support to keep going. I am sure it would be enlightening and encouraging and bring more meaning to the absolute importance of sharing territory with your horse.
I look forward to hearing from you
Carolyn
No related posts.
angharad,
I keep my horses this way too and you are so right how it affords us more time with them while doing our chores. I believe they are happier managed this way.
I have three fields with shelters and no overcrowding so everyone has a space in the shelter when weather is nasty. One field has 4 teenagers in it and it’s the most fun to pick up poop in. They all crowd around the ATV and poop wagon, inspecting what I’m throwing in there. Wanting to be part of the duty. Sometimes too much, but that gives me the opportunity to reinforce my personnal space. I have toys in the field, barrels, small tires, tarps, balls and make a game out of putting their things in different places as I clean up. It’s neat to watch them all go discover the new placements of their things after I leave the field. I think they may be so absorbed by following me around while I do chores that they don’t really notice or care at the time about me hanging their stuff in the low tree branches, in feeders, behind trees etc…
They all look at each other when the ATV leaves the field and then race off to discover like a bunch of kids getting out of school.
Even work can be so much fun when we are around our horses.
hi carolyn
i love reading your blog and the responses from people. i plan to subscribe to your programme when i have funds but in the meantime i have gained so much from reading.
i used to feel that i was so busy doing all the jobs associated with my horses that i did not have much time to interact with them (i have a big gypsy cob who is mine and a little shetland who i have on loan). but i realise that because of how they live, at liberty in a field with a shelter, i am interacting with them even when i am picking up poo, or jumping on the muckheap to flatten it (they look very puzzled by this!), or mending fencing etc. they follow me around and watch what i am doing, lip me gently, or sniff my face. although they are sometimes rough with each other i never feel at risk from them in the field with them loose – they treat me very gently and kindly.
thank you for sharing your wisdom with us!
Want to share interesting observations on this morning’s quasi-sharing territory session with two 4 year old mares, Justine (Andalusian) and Pie (7/8 TB). Started out fine, with the two mares splitting their time between lipping me and eating grass. They had been grazing at the far end of a 1 acre paddock when I came in and took my seat. They walked purposefully toward me as I climbed the fence, arriving as I was settling onto my perch on the mounting block. I petted them absently as I looked mournfully at the well-chewed reed I had forgotten to take out with me last night. By the way, I found some reeds at a craft store in the dried-flower-arrangment section that seem to be what you described on the audio. I’ve been substituting them for my Parelli carrot stick for several days now. I love the feel and the delicacy. The horses react to them exactly the same, but the feel in my hand is more like a magic wand than a stick.
The mares and I communed in peace for a while, but my eye kept wandering to their long full manes. Summers in Florida get beastly hot and I keep all my horses’ manes show-short to prevent their necks from getting excessively sweaty. As summer wanes, I let their manes grow out so they have extra protection from cold winter weather, such as it is in Florida. I have already started pulling manes, but I have a lot of horses to get through. I generally do it when the horses are loose in their stalls with a pile of hay to munch. That way they can walk away from me when they need to, but can’t get far. I use that plastic cutting tool by Solo that showed up on the market a few years ago. Much easier than pulling for both horse and human, and the result looks much more like it was pulled than cut.
Anyway, I decided that I could violate the sanctity of sharing territory just one time in a good cause, so I got my tool and a comb and started on Pie’s long white mane. (She’s a chestnut and white tobiano.) She stood quietly while I combed her mane, head lowered to around her knees, enjoying the attention. But when I started to shorten her mane, she was less pleased by the sensation. She walked away, but kept circling back. Everytime she walked away, I started combing the other mare’s thick black mane. Pie is more dominant and when she came back, she drove Justine a few steps away, and allowed me cut a few strands of her silky white mane. Then it was just too much and she left again. So I started in again on Justine’s mane.
We played in rotation like that for as long as it took me to get about a third of Pie’s mane pulled. Then the nice feel of air on her neck registered. Just like that, she lowered her head to knee level and stood immobile while I pulled the rest of her mane. Then I asked her to leave while I worked on Justine. Justine never even tried to move away, but when I got too enthusiastic, she tossed her head to ask me to slow down. It felt criminal to remove that luxurious Andalusian mane, but I kept thinking how much better it will feel without it in the 90 degree, 95 percent-humidity days that are just around the corner. So I persisted. The three of us walked back to the barn, still at liberty, in happy concorde. A pile of black and white hair lay behind us on the grass, soon to be transferred to birds’ nests all over the farm.
Thank you, Carolyn, for your reply (47) to my comment (39).
In fact, I only tried to move her very softly in my first session with her to see if she reacts to the reed. I understood from the first call with you that we should first try, if we are able to move our horse away with the reed for our own safety and then give it a treat, if it moves.
Yesterday I shared again terrytory with Clarence, but this time also with another mare Monalisa and Cleo, a 2-year-old, usually they are always together. I was just reading the “songs of Horses” (wonderful stories), Clarence came several times, snuffled in my book, then went off, remaining near. Cleo came and was the most interested in me and my book. She snuffled in my hair, my legs and stood very close to me. I was not sure, how long to let her or if leaving her with my chair as she didn’t seem to want to go away or move her. In the end I took the reed and moved her just with one very soft wave.
Then Monalisa came, I think she’s the lead mare in this trio, she seems to be very self-conscious (Cleo is very attached to her). She also came very close, and after a while started to bite my chair. I let her a little bit, but as I was not sure, if she would start biting me ( as for now she never tried) trying to taste me like the chair, I decided to wave her off and she went without big effort of myself. Did I decide the right way?
Andrea
Today I had the most awesome and healing ST session!
I decided to sit with the whole herd of seven. At first they were in another part of my paddock paradise, but soon Kría came to me. Funny, because the last time I sat with the whole herd, they all came to see me one by one, except her. But now it felt like she could stay with me forever. On top of that, I clearly received messages from her, that brought tears to my eyes. Strangely enough one of those messages came to me loud and clear in English instead of Dutch: “You and me, we’re two of a kind”. I could really hear this message in my head loud and clear! The rest of her messages were more like feelings, but nevertheless very clear as well. She told me that I have the same sense of responsibility she has, and that I can care for and lead others like she can. I know she’s right, but I’m always hearing in my head what I was told over and over again in my childhood: that I’m a very selfish person who doesn’t care about others (told by people who didn’t know about caring and loving themselves…).
While sending me these messages Kría was incredibly gentle, very softly breathing in my face and neck like a whisper, licking my hands, just standing peacefully with her head over me. This mare, that can fight you till the end of time when forced to do something she doesn’t want, this mare that can explode when things don’t go her way, this mare that doesn’t want to take ONE step with me when she feels I’m incongruent, is in fact so sensitive and caring, it’s beyond imagination. The more I’m sitting with her, the more I learn to know the real, incredible, magnificent Her, and that’s so healing to me….
Don’t know why but I have to add this picture of Kría, of the time she was leading a herd of sixteen mares (at age 3; she’s now 7), so proud and self confident.
Dear Candle,
Private phone coaching I could help you. But lets stay of the program and address this matter later.
I loved to read your story Ceila #42.
I have been sitting in the paddock every day, except one, since the program started. Some days 30 minutes other 11/2 hour. In the beginning Ameri looked at me when I sat down, put himself infront of me and wanted to taste that book. so i lifted my fingers and asked him to move away, which he did. This repeated itself a few times. He parked infont of me and stod there until I had to move. The sun was shining but it was not too warm. Next day I had a hard time to dicide were to sit, due to the wind. I carried the chair around to find the right place and the two horses followed me. When I stopped they stopped and when I took my chair and walked away they came after me. It must have looked very funny. When I finaly sat down, near the water, I recomand not to sit too close to the water, everything gets wet when the horses drink and comes with muzzle to sniff a bit, they lined up infront of me, Ameri Kahn first and Zaritsa behind him. They stood there taking a nap while I was reading.
Some days Ameri looked towards me when i arrive with my chair. He has arrived, said hello, licked my knee or my arm and then went back to the hay.
Other days, he has been close and licked me and the chair. Licked and licked and after it started to nip. Than I have asked him to move.
Yesterday I sat for 45 minutes.I began to freeze. I picked the “reed”. Walked around the paddock as Carolyn has shown. Ameri came up and sniffed curiously at the “reed”. I waved the “reed” and he walked away. I gave him a piece of apple. I repeated it a few times. The last time when I moved away from him and stopped some distance away, he came after me. Stopped, sniffed at my legs and began to nip, I waved gently with my hand and “reed”, he moved and I went the other way, Ameri stopped looking at me came over and we did the same thing again and again. I walked away and he followed me. I stopped and he stopped. What a feeling! In this moment, there was neither time nor place. I had not planned to do something. It just happened.
Anna-Karin
Carolyn – I’ve joined the In a Box program, and I’m loving it. The interview that you sent out with Anna Twinney is so great. As I sit with Siete, I keep thinking about something you said to Anna: “A bond doesn’t mean trust.” That’s so true. Siete and I have bonded for seven years, but we don’t trust each other the way that her mother, Silk, and I do. So, I believe that the Waterhole Rituals will be an opportunity for Siete and me to reach that higher level of connection. After reading all these comments, I am also so grateful to be interacting with this community of like-minded, articulate people. How cool is it that we are not alone, and our horses are guiding us to a better way!
Have just hooked into the riches of In The Box and you must know what a blast it is to listen to you. Hard to tear myself away from the computer and accomplish what I must. The two audios I’ve heard already are a real a treat. I know I will be coming back to them again and again.
I do have a practical question about teaching my horses “lying down” at my suggestion. In the past, I looked into several “trick training” methods and rejected them for being basically incompatible with the relationships I am developing. But I love to see a horse lie down on command when it does not look forced.
Your brief discussion in the audio with Anna of teaching it by associating the word with the deed was eye-opening, but I have a practical question.
Unlike horses who are stalled or kept in small paddocks, my kids live in a big (60 acre) field with multiple water sources, shady spots and — this is the point — areas of bare sand where they normally roll. These sandy areas are a few hundred yards from any of the gates. After I play and ride, my summer ritual with each horse includes giving the horse a shower, scraping excess water off and applying fly spray. We walk to the gate, they enter at a gesture and turn and face me to accept a treat. Then they usually canter off to get a drink first or else go directly to a sandy spot for a roll or two, and after than trot or lope off to find the rest of the herd.
There is no way I can reach the sandy spots before the horses do. Even if the horse stops for a drink first and selects the nearest patch of sand, he will have rolled and departed by the time I get there, sweaty and panting, probably without enough breath to even say “lie down.”
If I lead the horse directly to a sandy spot instead of releasing him at the gate, any lesson I might plan will be interrupted by the thundering arrival of several, if not all, of the other 14 horses in the herd, probably before we even reach the sand. Less dominent horses will not roll, even if they otherwise would, if the more dominent ones are milling about. Any time I walk into the field, a least a few of the more dominent ones always come running. I have cultivated this by usually taking out the one who arrives first to play with next, and over the years it has become an ingrained ritual and mild competition among the horses who want to play to try get to me first.
You are good at coming up with ideas that have not occurred to me. Do you have a suggestion for this? There is nothing I would enjoy more than sharing some down time on the ground with my kids.
By the way, I’ve been sitting with different horses, in groups of one or two, for the past few days. Not getting much reading done — watching these beautiful creatures watch, touch, lean on and lick me is way too distracting. Pure joy to have no agenda except being in the moment. Someone caught some nice still photos yesterday — is there a way to share them?
Carolyn,
I wasn’t sure where you wanted us to add the kinds of things we journaled about feeling joy in our lives. I added these to a discussion on the Forum, and they were enjoyed so I thought I would share with the blog. Here are snippets of things I have journaled about, and funny as I write them, I am reminded of more….perhaps I’ll add them in.
Joyful times for me often involved animals, catching frogs, field mice, playing in the woods building paddocks with branches and riding our stick horses everywhere, sitting in my great uncles barn conversing with a bull…much to the horror of my parents when they discovered where I had spent the afternoon! And a day at my grandmothers friends, where this lovely foal followed me everywhere, she was the most beautiful red color with a white blaze and her name was Rosie. I was enthralled…obviously as I still remember her name.
I shared territory in a BIG cottonwood tree in my backyard with a squirrel I named Charlie. I would climb all over the tree, sit and observe and share space with squirrel and he eventually sought me out and I would feed him nuts. Climbing the tree and befriending the squirrel were joyful!
Joy was also surrounding me at the birth of my children…such a miracle that they could grow inside of me and come out screaming to breathe. Their giggles and learning do transport me. Kids get to be exactly who they are and that is a joy.
Joy includes being told for the first time by a boy that he loved me:), being asked to dance, receiving flowers, or a love note…remember the little notes we would share with friends, cryptic and crumpled in our pockets? Being proposed to…
Joy is watching hawks build a nest, lay eggs, feed their young and finding the two puffy awkward babies on a branch just above my head watching me. Seeing a pair of bluebirds and hearing their song. Feeding a giraffe…my they have long tongues! Watching a puppy bumbling about.
Walking on the beach and finding treasures, floating in saltwater weightless, snorkeling, seeing the brilliant colors of fish, an octopus and a turtle! A double rainbow, or just a rainbow or a brilliant sky filled with amazing cloud formations and rays of light passing through.
The first time I heard ‘mama’, watched my daughter tap dance at 2 1/2 in a duet on stage! so cute..Seeing my kids swim for the first time, or ride their bikes without training wheels. Rolling down hills in the grass, laughing. Building snowmen, sledding. Seeing the first daffodil of spring pop open. Seeing a humpback whale breach in the ocean! Priceless…or buffalo in Yellowstone. Hearing the trickle of a stream and then rock jumping to cross it.
Joy is having time to meander as I am led.
Being nickered at, licked, kissed, chosen.
Eating ice cream, planting flowers, smelling a rose.
Horses running together, bucking, crowhopping and dancing.
Splashing in puddles! Oh JoY!
Oh JOY, my horse Yowahtee! a blessing and dream come true!
Joy can be little things, glimmers that reach us trying to activate the bigger things.
For me, if I desire joy or try to hold onto it, it becomes elusive, but I am realizing as I journal, that it has to come in its own time. I have to give it space to blossom for me. It needs me to share territory with it and get to know it on its terms, just as we are with our wonderful horses.
May you all find at least a glimmer of joy tomorrow…perhaps a glistening drop of water, a cool drink, a luscious chocolate eaten with eyes closed and all senses activated…..priceless…
and this class brings me great joy, I love reading about everyone’s adventures with their horses, about everyone’s ‘realness’ right up there with the very best books I have ever read!
Cheers to continuing forward,
Connie H:)
Hello Carolyn
I did receive 8 out of 10 in the quiz – but the question on having the horses’ focus – could have been a no. I know the focus you are talking about. The way the horse holds himself, his carriage when he has utter and complete focus on the “handler” – I do not quite have that. Sometimes- some moments of it – but not the way I see it when my trainer is working with him and really asking allot of him – or doing her “magic” with him!
What I do have is a very interesting horse – and a good story. So I will be honoured to accept this invitation to share it.
What I do have is a deep bond of trust. And, what is so interesting is this horse trusted me right away. The very first meeting. And the second. I went to see him twice before buying him. I was blown away by him. I thought “me, with a horse like that”. He was more money than I had been planning for, and allot more horse. But, I thought – I can get help. I was still debating this when I rec’d a phone call from the owner. My heart sank – I thought she was going to say he was sold. What she said was, was I still interested, I was the only one who came to look at him who could catch him – and her price was firm. I said “Sold!” I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It took really nothing to catch him. He made a motion to leave, and I stopped and waited a moment, then walked up and put the halter on.
After almost 5 years of owning him I know what a big deal it was. He is very standoffish – very few people can catch him besides myself. He will not tolerate any one in his stall with him except me – he zooms out of his stall when people walk by (he has a run-out) and just plain does not trust people in general.
I have never liked traditional ways with horses, have always been a bit of a recluse – not being very good with people myself. I was always interested in natural horsemanship and so with Rohan – “when the student is ready the teacher appears” – and thus my journey began.
I immediately found working with him at liberty was key. It is fun, and a quick learn in the right direction of what truly is working for your horse and how they see you. It has been a fascinating, challenging and rewarding gift on many levels having this horse in my life. I have had a horse in my life since I was 12 – I am now 50. I always loved being with them, hanging with them – long before I knew about “liberty work”. So – this is my story. I must have something, because Rohan sees and believes in me. He has given me confidence. I now really understand what it means to be the leader. I would read about that and think – but how? What do they mean. I know now!
I study many different teachers. I discovered you when a friend gave me a copy of “the path of the horse” – which I cried when I watched it. I like to study many different teachers to find what works for me and my horse. I have worked with three different trainers and they all say he is a very challenging horse. And he is. He is all horse. I admire and respect him beyond words. His dignity is humbling. Thank you for this opportunity to share my story. I owe allot to my trainer Adiva Murphy. She is a very gifted horsewoman and also has a great gift of teaching the human. Without her I would not be where I am with Rohan. She also has a truly deep understanding and a special spot in her heart for arabians! Under saddle he is very challenging – but we have come a long way and there is nothing but good and great things yet to come for us.
All the best,
Janice and Rohan
Sherry : insider circle
Hi Carolyn, When I first saw the minis in with the horses I felt the same way you do but they are not mine so, what can I say, the man who owns them is not a horse person he is a farm gentleman who keeps horses …… I have just observed them and it seems to have sorted itself out ….. when they were initially blended the mini stallion went up to the lead gelding and tried to pick a fight but the lead gelding just walked off. I stayed out of the paddock in those early days because the dynamics were too unpredictable especially because the mini stallion had his own little herd and they all had to blend but they seemed to have worked things out. Everyone has accepted him even though he seems to be the most dominant in the herd. The other day when I was doing WHR with them I observed the mare that he seems to lust for poop in the field and he promptly went over and peed on her pile ? Is that staking his territory like dogs do?
wow so interesting I hate to leave. The mini stallions herd consisting of a mare and her colt have had no problems. The other two minis that were part of his little herd ,both due to foal at the end of may are in a large lush paddock with my filly and a pony . They all get along very well…… I am also doing WHR with them . Namaste Sherry
Oooooh, this is such an interesting adventure already!
(Catherine Hill In-A-Box)
My boy Sox has become LESS interested in me as the week has gone on.
He is never really rude to me, not when sharing territory (sometimes he pulls faces if I am walking in front so he gets a stern look from me and asked to lead, that usually solves it). He can get pushy if he thinks treats are involved but I am certain he will always move away if I ask from what I know of our previous natural horsemanship and our journey so far.
So I have spent time when he comes, also asked him to leave if he got pushy and only twice when things were ‘sweet’ because, as you say Carolyn, it’s ok to ask them to leave even when things are good and also that we change it up, don’t let them think it has become ‘rules’.
However, now it seems that Sox has almost become shy, like he wants to hang out but won’t stay incase he gets sent away, so he doesn’t bother trying!! So so sensitive and easily offended it would seem?
So, now I’m thinking, I should move my chair away from him if this is how he’s feeling and assuming I’m reading the situation correctly?
It’s curious really, I used to feel so offended when Sox didn’t want to be with me, he was changeable, aloof one day, friendly the next. It left me feeling very insecure. It would now seem, a year on the roles are reversed and these feelings are now in my horse? (Not trying to anthropomorphisise).
A lady called Ginny communicated with Sox just over a year ago (before my senses regained their ability) and one thing that came up was that he would always be challenging, that was just his way. Ain’t that the truth!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not fretting at all, I find it fascinating and when we are together I am sure to keep my mind and heart open and free but when I get thinking time alone my little horse has my head in a spin!
I am finding this proccess so enlivening, thank you.
Candle Hill #16
Dear Candle, please email Mark at info@carolynresnick.com and he will help you. Thank you.
Louise-Jayne Haddaway #21
Dear Louise,
if you were in the In-the-Box Program or Insiders Circle program you would not be doing so much and it would probably be better for you. You are doing way more than I have having my classes doing at this time. So for now, just share territory and take your time. I will let you know when you need to move out of sharing territory into the next part of that so that you can spend that time in healing.
Sherry Thomson #26,
It appears as if he is courting her however my concern is putting big horses with minis can get minis hurt.