Supporting People Starting with the Waterhole Rituals™
Oct 22nd, 2009 by Carolyn Resnick Method
Hi. Hopefully another ‘In the Box’ Program is about to start and if it does, I want to provide support on the blog for the students and for everyone else who reads my blog. This way we can all start the Waterhole Rituals™ at the same time. Every time I start at the beginning, I find magic and personal power from being able to return to the beginners mind. “Beginners mind” is a phrase used by many cultures and Buddhist teachers to bring the student back to a place of personal power and learning.
What I want people to understand about the Waterhole Rituals™ is that the ongoing practice of them will continue to deepen the bond and training of both you and your horse. However, you need to approach the Rituals with the mindset that you are discovering a deeper connection and evolution in the skills of leadership and a closer connection to all things in your life. You will begin to achieve wonderful results through your abilities of observation and performance. Through practice you will continue to acquire more amazing skills.
One example of this came yesterday when Julia and I were working with her school horse, Sonãdor. He is a recently gelded Andalusian who came to the ranch about two weeks ago with some riding and training issues. One of them being that he would not relax when being ridden. He is a National Champion English pleasure horse that was switched over to dressage and this is when the riding problems cropped up for him. He was also too much to handle on the ground as well. He had learned how to pull. I was also told that he could not be trained to do the Spanish Walk.
From the practice of the first Ritual “Sharing Territory”, the problems just melted away to only small bumps in the road that sometimes sort themselves out on their own. The connection doing nothing with him brought the trust and the dance.
While Julia was working him yesterday, she said that she was amazed how the Waterhole Rituals™ are helping her to see things she had never noticed before even though she has had years of training and is in fact a certified coach in another method. She now notices when Sonãdor’s body gives signs that he wants to perform but can’t because it’s all so new to him. He needs time to get his body to respond to what’s being asked of him.
Anytime we learn something new, it takes trys and practice before we can get better. It is like we have to experience inability before the ability to perform can happen. Julia also learned from me that she knows she can give Sonãdor treats for a try even though nothing happened because she can now read Sonãdor’s muscles shifting, suggesting that he wants to move. Julia now knows also, that anything thats’ stuck is going to work itself out with practice and encouragement by giving a treat when no performance really happened. It is a practice of the school of kindergarten.
Every day at the beginning of a work session, you start in kindergarten and you might have to stay there with your horse if the magnetic connection is not available to you from the horse’s willingness and enthusiasm. Kindergarten is also the school you stay in until all the Waterhole Rituals™ mature the partnership.
Once the connection is made through the Rituals, as the horse warms up daily in a kindergarten environment, you then can expect more from him by holding him more responsible. In kindergarten, the horse has complete ability to control you and your program with the exception of personal territory rights. If he chooses not to perform you must stop asking and wait for the horse to reconnect.
For example, let’s say you ask him to Lead From Behind. In kindergarten, you have no control over where he goes but once he fully understands this Ritual, you can focus on being able to direct him in a pattern of your choice. Kindergarten is where everyone will begin with the new ‘In a Box’ Program. Do not think that this part of the school is too basic for you because what you will learn through the subtlety of the pause with the first Ritual, Sharing Territory, will be life changing.
I know virtually all the students on the last Inner Circle and ‘In a Box’ Programs experienced a profound change in their relationship with their horse through the Sharing Territory Ritual.
What horses have taught me through the practice of the Rituals is difficult to express in words. Through paying attention to the learning opportunities that horses present, they can teach us self-realization and evolution in wisdom, horsemanship and leadership and partnering and parenting skills, as well as a way to find true happiness.
As summer fades away for most of us, it is a time for the new season of fall that allows things to settle down. In the shift of seasons and being aware of this shift we can recall or call in a feeling of abundance and appreciation for what life has give us. How best to do that is to step into the world of the pause with horses and allow the page to turn on its own to a new adventure that the horses bring to us. This will not take place if we step into the world of horses by action. It is only achieved in the pause by allowing the horse to lead us and to adjust our inner self to the moment and wait for a feeling to enter of being at complete peace with the way things are.
As ever, I hope that helps and I look forward to reading your comments.
Enjoy your weekend, in the pause.
Carolyn
No related posts.
Sadly I think the only ones who will think this is important advice, are teh people who already know it.
Hi,
I just want to echo Evergreen’s comments (#26) and add that part of the problem is that we start horses too young, their backs are the last part of their skeletons to stop growing, between 4 and 6 years.
I rescued three pregnant Premarin mares in 2004, we backed their foals briefly in 2006, did some more light training in 2008, and will start riding next spring, when they are 6 (they are large quarter-drafts, among the slowest to stop growing). Even then, our goal is putz around the fields and maybe trail ride eventually, all low key.
A wonderful thing (among many) about Carolyn’s method is that you have plenty of rewarding activities to do while you wait for the horses to mature.
I have seen Carolyn answer this question in other places on her blog, or it could have been in the Insider’s Circle. Either way, I do not assume to speak for her, but I will add what I remember of her comments.
Carolyn has a certain way with horses and she knows when her horse is saying “Yes, let’s ride” and when her horse is saying, “No, not today.” Her method is unique in that it gives the horse a say in the interaction. Also, when you form the unique connection through her rituals, riding the horse is not a forced, or artificial thing, but an intimate connection between horse and rider.
HAving said that, it is my opinion that there are plenty of horses being ridden in a manner that is not considering the horse, is using force or coercion in place of a true relationship. In this instance, yes, the stress of riding can hurt the horse’s back, just as it can cause injury to the rider.
Saddle fit, rider’s balance and skill, physical fitness of the horse, age, can all play a part in this.
Also, if at any time you feel you are hurting your horse, by riding, or by any other activity, feel free to stop. No one is saying that we need to ride horses to enjoy them. Especially when doing Carolyn’s rituals, there is more to a horse than just being a beast of burden.
From what I have seen of Alexander Nevzerov, I think he knows plenty of things to do with a horse besides riding as well.
My last comment is that it is all about building a relationship and about balance. Any activity can become harmful when taken out of balance. We see this with the world we live in today, not just with horses. The best we can do is to be role models for a future when the horse is considered an equal partner in the relationship. I think CArolyn’s rituals are an opening to this future.
Hi
I have all your videos, cd’s and book Carolyn, love your work!
My BIG question, and I put this to everyone reading is this:
There is a lot of science starting to show that we are damaging our horse’s backs by riding, that horses are not made for it. Alexander Nevzerov is now officially not riding anymore …
What do you say about that being your program still includes riding as a basic premise ?
Thanks!
Linda
Beginning at the beginning, is what I have been doing right now. Because it is cold up here and shorter days, I have started to review once again all of the recordings of the telephone calls we had in the first Insider’s Circle. I am finding things I didn’t notice before and understanding more. I recommend this for all of us who went through the program, to go back and listen again, picking up those tidbits that escaped the first time, or didn’t seem important.
After having all the information, those unimportant things get shown in a new light.
Hi Carolyn,
I agree completely with you!!! But sad to say I don’t see any of my “horsey” friends who desire the same bond and closeness that i have with Oreo… (they actually think I’m a little weird and obssessive about him – sitting out in the pasture just enjoying his company everyday) I know they love and care about their horses – but I don’t see the bond…their horses know them – but not in a deep heart and soul way….however they are my friends and I love them and each of us has a choice in how we relate to our horses…I personally choose the deeper route like you can relate to. I’m going to do a once a month “bonding” get together at my new farm for my friends – I think they will get more into it if I can structure something with them – I’ll use your books and DVD’s – I’m really excited about doing this!!
But I place no judgement on anyone – that is what makes life great!! We all have our own choices to make. Weird or not I LOVE MY BOY and will continue to share territority with him every day and can’t wait to get your training books and DVD’s so we can get to the next level of intimacy… I’m importing another 7 month old filly and can’t wait to start her immediately with the WR! She should be arriving into my life in the next 60 days. I may do a video series on her from day one – i think that would be fun!! I wonder how Oreo will deal with sharing me with another horse – he doesn’t like it when I talk to any of the other horses in the barn… How do I let him know he is #1 as I start adding to the herd? That will be challenging…
Thank you for sending your pictures of your boy and sharing your relationship with me. I am happy that the blog has helped you so much.
I really enjoy my horses but it would not be as rewarding to me if I did not have a family of humans to share my experiences with. When I was growing up I found that sharing the magic with horses just wasn’t done. It is my hope that more and more people share more and more stories about the deep bond though the training relationships they have with their horses as well as the moments spent in the pause and company of your horse.
Dear Carolyn,
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSE!!! You are excellent at “reading between the lines”…..as I know I have that little feeling of – “he won’t love me if I’m too hard on him” Although on days when we have had our go rounds and I have needed to be extra firm – he still screamed for me and jumped up and down in his stall with anticipation of our time together the next day when I walked into the barn and called his name – he is extremely expressive in showing all his feelings – so you are right…..they test – but that does not mean they don’t still love – just like children….sigh… But I do make sure everytime I say goodbye to him we are on great terms – all issues have been forgotten and we part in a loving way. So many times when we are sharing territory he will stay within 20 feet of me – I know he is enjoying my company – the other day I was sitting in the paddock and he had a choice of staying with me or going into the big pasture and he chose to stay with me and not even eat grass – he’s my boy!!! I sat on my bucket and he just stood by me surveying the territory like a big herd stallion – I felt so honored that he chose me. He stood there – maybe in his mind protecting me for at least 20 minutes – then I picked up my bucket and walked into the pasture – he followed and then started to eat grass. He is funny though as he is ALL BOY – does not like mom fussing with him – so I have learned to also respect his space – I want to cuddle and pet his face but he wants no part of that – except when I sit in his stall with his hay in my lap – then he likes me to rub his ears and fuss on him while he happily eats his hay – so I have found other ways of loving on him that he does like..and we truly have a give and take relationship – but he does need to learn to give more back to me consistently – and not have these temper tantrums. at 16.3 hands and a total powerhouse there is no place for disrespect…
To be honest I have been reading your posts and watching the youtubes and trying to apply what you empart – but now I’m excited to buy your book and DVD’s and probably sign up for your program on the next go round you have -= in the Spring? I have a very high level of confidence in what I have been reading and seeing and want to thank you for your openness and kind heart in sharing so much from your heart to see all of us take our relationships with our beloved horses to the next step…and then the next step, etc… There is a finess in any relationship between pushing too hard or not hard enough…Oreo and I have each made mistakes with each other – but we also forgive each other. I can say having a bond with a big stallion like the one I’m blessed with is not possible to put into words – it is a heart connection…I want that to keep growing and do what is best for “my boy”….learning from people like you is the way to do that as learning and growing is an exciting lifelong journey! Even more fun with a horse!!
I will be eager to get your book and dvd’s and will let you know how we are progressing!
With sincere appreciation,
Laura and Oreo
Remember my blog is a class room for my Method only where you can share your personal experiences with your horse. Opinions, judgments or corrections of others is not staying in the moment and experience of your own life. I would prefer that everyone stays on the subject of my support or on the topic of the day. For everyone coming to my blog I would like it if you come as a student without judgment of others.
If anyone has a question in “how to” that is different than the topic of the day please feel free to ask a question. I may be able to answer you.
I think we need to be careful about ‘throwing rocks’ at other practitioners, especially if we haven’t studied them thoroughly and for some time.
“Throwing rocks” was no doubt used as a figure of speech, but can put ideas in people’s head that ‘set’ there.
Parelli does advocate spending as much ‘undemanding time’ with your horse as you possibly can. Pat Parelli’s solution for one of his students who was playing with a zebra cross that would not ‘tame’ was to sleep in close proximity with it for as long as it took to build the connection. I think it took about a week.
I think it’s important to find the similarities and commonalitites between all the training ‘systems’ and to cherish and use them. Everyone comes to the task of communicating with horses from their own background.
Dear Maire,
Thank you for sharing. Horses love their rituals and come to live over companionship sharing territory and learing how to court the leader over food issues. It is so important not to “baby” horses to a fault and know how to choose leadership that is not abusive or unclear or wishy washy.
Carolyn,
Just read the debate concerning the “Perelli program”. I have danced the Perelli style for some time.
What Sandra indicates about throwing rocks is basically a metaphor for “Force” in my opinion. The Perelli training seems to tell the horse that “you have to comply with this command”. In other words, the horse HAS TO rather than WANTS TO follow the lead of the trainer.
Hope this is helping in some way. Jakobi
Dear Carolyn,
This post and comments have resonated with me today. Currently I am in the potentially frustrating place of a husband away and kids at home so I cannot ride. I have a pause forced on me. But your rituals provide just the perfect way of filling this time and enriching it substantially. The time spent with the horses in this way allows me to be present in the moment and time seems to stretch. When I come back into the house, the peace from being connected to the present moment comes in with me.
I have a cob and pony at home, both only with me a few months. My cob, Ben, is a dominant horse and was also quite sour when he came to us. He could only be caught with a bucket of feed and he had a really surly “buzz off” expression on his face when he would turn his back to me and walk off. He was also obviously used to being chased around with a lunge whip. Anyway, I have spent many hours over the last few months sharing territory, saying hello, making eye contact and leading from behind (this was slow to come). He has rewarded me with coming up to me and dropping his head into the headcollar, and occasionally walking with me, one magical night in the moonlight he gave me the closest yet to dancing. His whole facial expression has changed. I had thought that, as well as having a closed expression, he was also not very bright. Now he can have a wonderfully open face and I have realised that he is one clever boy.
So with all this, like Laura, I have been slow to become too assertive as I did not want to drive him away again. But recently, when he was in the company of other horses, I realised how bargey he could be, walking nearly through me, when he is excited. Also, I am working with the little pony more and he does not like that. So I have started to work on leading in hand and asking for respect and space. This has come on well but in the last few days he has started to challenge me around the yard. So this morning, after filling haynets, I filled a bucket with alfalfa and stood over it. Of course he tried to get to it. But by very quick, assertive body language and then immediately becoming calm again, he respected my space while not being driven away and when he quietly returned to his haynet I brought him the bucket of alfalfa.
I could learn from these rituals for ever. There is so much depth in them.
Thank you so much. Máire
Carolyn,
I love this post …especially when you talk about the “pause”
It’s so important !!
As the French composer ,Claude Debussy, said ” Music is the pause between the notes”
Thank you for a wonderful post Carolyn. I recently read the book ‘Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind’ and I am so convinced by the WHR’s approach to horses as it an authentic approach to life and everything in it!
Relating to Laura’s story around aggression, my little mare (with whom I have been working with the rituals for only a few months, mostly WHR #1) attacked the yearling in the herd whilst a friend and I were helping him stand for a hoof trim. Since beginning the WHRs my mare has been really communicative, maintains eye contact and direction towards me in the barn and field, and runs down the field to see people now. When she attacked the colt I had been lavishing affection and encouragement on him, only with my voice, in the same way I usually do her. I could see her keeping an eye on us and had an inclin that she was getting mad about it. To me the attack was almost saying ‘how dare he get MY attention’! Although she attacked the colt not me, I think she attacked him to get to me and it we were nearly trampled by the colt. It was unacceptable behaviour and I feel she fully understood this when I told her in a serious voice and pointed at the direction in which I wanted her to leave my space. It think I will spend more time around leading from behind and putting food down and keeping her away until she has forgotten about it.
Thank you for your continued inspiration.
Dear Carolyn,
I have signed up for the next box set class. When will we
get our packet of info? I am so looking forward to spending time with my horse, it is always so healing for me. Thank you Debi
Dear Laura,
I believe you are right. I also want to say that you need to be a little more assertive and do alot more work with all the rituals. What kind of work have you done with him in my program? Let me know because my answer might be quite different from what I am about to share with you.
Are you doing your reciprocal movements with him? You need much more leading from behind. Put food down and keep him away from it until he will not try to get past you to get to it and you can drive him away and he will then choose to forget about it. Then you can let him eat from listenting to you and being polite. Remember horses have a pecking order in nature, no matter how much love they feel for each other. All horses are different and yours needs more direction and behavior managment.
Alos taking territory will help him to learn how to leave when you ask him to without the added kick. Bringing up your assertiveness might cause you to lose a bit of the bond temporarily but when it comes back the bond will be even stronger and he will like and respect you more.
Hope this is of help. Don’t be afraid of loosing your horse’s affection by driving him out of your space or anything you ask him to do at liberty. I can tell by the tone of your letter that you would not be too strong and lose your horses affection so don’t worry about this so much. Horses are smart and will try to get you to feel that if you don’t let them have their way and make all the choices that they won’t like you any more. Don’t play into this idea.
When a horse comes into your space they must listen to your leadership. No matter how much you love your horse it is up to you not your horse to create this attitude of respect and the same is true when you enter his territory that you must listen to his lead. Your horse went to you and then tried to take over and communicate with you in an angry way. If this works for him he will get more defiant.
I am also concerned that you many need direct coaching on this issue in order not to hurt the connection and bond you have now. If you do not completley undersand the rituals it is not advisable to use them.
I also want to say to you that a horse that kicks on a lunge line can be fixed by improving their gas pedal.
Thanks, yet again, Carolyn, for your generosity in sharing your knowledge. This post was greatly enlightening, as the humility, presence and patience summed up in “Kindergarten” are easily forgotten when training a horse.
I am training for third parties, and it is sometimes difficult to get through such concepts to my clients- verbally. Fortunately, the horses speak for themselves.
Hello CArolyn – Missing you so much and the all the joys of WRIC.
There are three horses I am giving Reiki to twice a week. I have been sharing territory with them before the Reiki to bring us closer. I’m wondering if twice a week makes any difference. Will it help us to have a deeper connection?
The pony Lady that I worked with in WRIC is moving away in a few days to live with a sweet mini gelding. We almost got to Companion Walking. Short walks starting off behind me and then next to me. Not every day. Leading From Behind seemed to work best in short amounts. I could direct her most of the time, too. Her Eye Contact was great as well as Head Up And Head Down and Reciprocal Movement. She loved Sharing Territory. I thought you might like this update. Affectionately, Mary
Dear Carolyn,
What do you think my stud colt is saying to me? I was sitting with him in the pasture the other day enjoying OUR time together and called him over to me – he comes the minute I whistle for him – gave him his carrot treat. I stood up to head toward the gate, I asked him to move off and he turned and kicked at me – I know he can be a brat at times. Lucky for me I can read him like a book and knew what he was going to do so I got out of range… We are VERY bonded and love each other – so I sometimes don’t understand this type of behavior towards me…he will also kick at me on the lungh line if I ask him to do something he doesn’t want to do… I am always VERY careful when working with him and always in the moment… He actually let me lead him from behind the last couple times we have been out in the field together (I stayed at a safe distance behind him) and that was a breakthrough as he would usually spin around and face me – like aggressive colts can do at times – but he submitted and let me lead him from behind…
I don’t think the kick was done in a playful mode at me the other day – he was obviously sending me some type of message? What do you think? What I think happened was he wanted another treat and was showing his displeasure – I think what I did wrong was to call him over to me – I should have just gotten up and gone to the gate and waited for him to let me know when he is ready to go in – that is what we usually do – I usually don’t call him to me when I’m sitting in the field with him – he usually comes up to check on me and gives me a kiss and will muss my hair when he comes on his own and usually I just give him a kiss and not a treat and then he will just mosey off… I think it had something to do with my calling him to me and the treat…
Hi everyone. I spent about a year and a half doing Parelli and I learned a lot of good things but I know what Sandra means…there is still a lot of ‘make’ in the program. But I did want to say that nowhere in Parelli are you told to throw a rock at your horse! Just wanted to clarify that! Thanks Carolyn, for a wonderful post, I especially enjoyed your closing thought about coming to the horse in the pause instead of the action!!
Carolyn You have the dvd his back/withers also may be out , maybe do some wither lifts, I am constanlty finding horses that become flinchy and do not want to be ridden due to their withers being out, once put back in they relax and are able to be ridden.
Can anyone tell me if these waterhole rituals will also work with donkeys? Or is their herd behavior different enough from horses that something else/additional is needed?
beautiful words Carolyn, thank you so much
stephani
I’m looking forward to beginning again! The first time through the “In a Box” series, my rescue horse was finally going into professional training. I had sent some questions to Carolyn and based on the description of my horse, Dodger, she had suggested he might be too difficult for me to use for the class. Although he wasn’t mean, he wasn’t safe for me to handle. Orphaned at 5 weeks, lots of misguided human parenting had successfully molded him into an extremely dominant, pushy, desensitized 5-year old with a constant biting problem.
Every weekend I drove an hour each way to see him, listening religiously (both literally and figuratively) to the class calls. I lived so many of your evolving successes with the Rituals vicariously. While Dodger was in training, I was eventually able to safely Share Territory and Say Hello with him but since food was not allowed on the footing where we were able to work we were limited to those two rituals for several months. Needless to say, we established a very strong bond and trust that I needed just as much as he did.
Now he’s home and stabled close by. I’ve had a few opportunities to Take Territory with him because there’s grass growing all along the edges of the round pen and outdoor arena. I’ve found that my challenge, however, is getting him to MOVE! I think that losing his mother and living in isolation for the first 2 years of his life deprived him of natural horse instincts. He’s so desensitized to anyone throwing energy at him (I think he likes to watch humans get winded) but when there’s food to be eaten, it’s exhausting. If anyone has a suggestion, I’m all ears!
But the good news is…He’s the trail horse of my dreams. And our bond is so rewarding. To walk into his stall, hear him nicker out in his paddock, turn and come to me to lower his head into the halter I’m simply holding out, is absolutely amazing. That voluntary act speaks volumes.
Thank you Carolyn, so, so much, for sharing your Waterhole Rituals with us.
I think sharing territory is the most important of the rituals for me, my horses follow me now, like dogs everytime they see me in the field and they are always happy to stay right by me when I sit out there to relax with them and read a book; but I have been practicing the rituals for 1 year now. And have shared so many hours with them. Thank you so much for these posts Carolyn, I wish I could be in one of your classes.
I went to a Pareli 3 day seminar because it was the closest thing to natural horsemanship I found in Florida, it was very dissapointing but kind of what I expected, they do not practice sharing time with the horses, I mean sharing time just doing nothing and they imprint a you better come with me or I will through rocks at you method in order for the horses to come with them at liberty; I just think that if people took the time to share space with the horses, they would not need to use the or else method, I never did that with my horses thanks to finding Carolyn, they just naturally want to be with me because they get scratched, feel safe and get cookies when we have our trick training sessions (which they can’t wait for everyday).
Can anyone let me know how to perfect or teach the spanish walk?… Been trying for so long but my horses seem clumsy at it, maybe I am approaching it wrong.
Thanks for a great post, Carolyn. Yes. The pause must be remembered and honored. Thanks for putting that into words for me to “hear” again.
It truly is life changing and does impact all areas of your life. I teach this method as a “Horsemanship” enhancer. But I know (secretly smiling inside myself) that it really is a quality of life enhancer. And I am putting someone on a path that will unfold in it’s own way for each individual. I thank you a lot in my head while I am working Carolyn, I’m sure my horses would too. I’ll thank you again here in person. Did I mention how much fun it is too!