Carolyn Resnick Horsemanship: Liberty Horse Training

The Foundation for All Equestrian Pursuits Through the Horse-Human Connection.

Carolyn at the ComputerThank you for joining me on my free webinar. It was a pleasure to connect with all of you on the subject of rude behavior in horses and how to handle it.   I was so pleased to see so many of you out there looking to bring more well being to horses through interactive communication.

When offering my insights in how to train horses I like to guide people to a deeper empathy through understanding the true nature of horses.

Horses are a lot like us in many ways in how we learn social behavior. Horses train their young ones as they are growing up and we do the same thing.

FAIRMONT HOTEL BEYERFrom a tea party, my mother played with me, I learned how to be polite. The first thing I learned was how much fun it was.  I learned how to put my napkin on my lap, and what kind of conversations to have with people at the table and how to let the other person talk as much as I did, and how to set the table. I learned how to enjoy the interactions of politeness.   This enjoyment for politeness increased my empathy for others in my life.  When you create polite behavior in your horse it will create empathy for you, if it’s done in a civil way.

In nature, horses train their young ones to be polite around grazing interactions.  Horses have fun by moving each other around and squabbling over personal space.  This is all a part of growing up and learning how to fit in. As they are learning through their squabbling they enjoy their drama and see it as a game. Sometimes feelings get hurt but this is part of growing up.

horse herdHorses love their games of sharing and not sharing, directing, and being moved. Their games help the horse’s to be able to graze in harmony while sharing companionship with one another.  From the games played the bonds deepen and politeness and empathy are the outcome.

When we train a horse how to be in harmony with us, our empathy and caretaking leadership grows. The journey is enjoyable and the outcome is social connectedness.

When horses are developing social order it can be as ruff as football game or as gently as a soft look received warmly. In these interactions a deeper understanding of communication is formed along with stronger loyalties and friendships. With my method we can alleviate the ruff housing.

Carolyn and OsoThe first step, training a horse at Liberty with my method, is to build the relationship and a desire in the horse to follow your lead. With the Waterhole Rituals you are looking to build a bond as deep as the bond that a horse would share with another horse. The next step, once the bond is formed, is to build trust.  The third step is to create politeness in the horse which develops the respect. Developing this respect causes a horse to have a natural desire to follow your lead.

In these steps you do not deal with tack or asking for performance.  It is about developing a respectful response to your leadership when it is the horse’s wishes to do so. The reason you want to take this time to build the bond and the horse wanting to follow your lead is to give you an ability to further train your horse in a graceful manner for performance training.  For example like in the Pat Parelli’s method, natural horsemanship, pleasure riding or Dressage to name a few.

Desiree Taylor

Photo of Student Desiree Taylor

From the politeness training with the Waterhole Rituals a deeper connection is formed.  It prepares a horse for performance training because he is set up to enjoy working with you.  This way the performance training of the horse is gained effortlessly, easily and naturally. Performance for the horse should always look like it is the horses desire to perform.

A big point I want to make is that horse training for performance needs to be more graceful.

Never should a horse be considered rude when a horse does not follow your lead in performance and these are the reasons why:

There are two reasons.  First- In a natural herd if the horse does not want to be directed by a lead horse   the horse simple moves away from the leaders influence. That is what horses know and this is truly natural to them. When tack is on the horse he can not escape, so there is nothing natural about it.

The second reason – what I learned from the years of training horses for performance is that you do not need force to train them under saddle or from the ground, even if you are in a hurry.

The Waterhole Rituals I offer in my programs for training a horse at Liberty are designed to develop self realization while building a partnership with your horse, caretaking leadership skills, and understanding the nature of your horse more deeply. In the process of the practice of the program the student develops their creative problem solving skills and learns how to train a horse at Liberty using natural instincts in how to communicate with a horse. It is about fun while developing cooperation from your horse.   Learning how to influence a horse to follow your lead from a natural process becomes a heart-felt fulfilling experience.  The partnership gained from dancing with your horse at Liberty is magical. The liberty dance with your horse is experienced in a spontaneous dance pattern that erupts from a magnetic connection shared between you and your horse.

In you are interested in the online courses it is a great thing to get involved with to really get to know your horses and your true self through the creative process of Liberty training.   We still have one (1) space left for our November “Beyond the Waterhole Rituals” Clinic and three (3) spots left for our December “Beyond the Waterhole Rituals” Clinic.  For more information click the link below….


Have a great weekend!  Be on the lookout for new horse and human sightings and may the horse be with you.

Warmly, Carolyn


Study with Carolyn in Person


  • The Waterhole Rituals Clinic (Carolyn travels to you)

Large Group Clinics | 2 and 3 days | Open to All Levels


  • Dances with Horses

Private Clinic | 3 days |Open to All Levels and Interests


  • Beyond The Waterhole Rituals Clinic

Self Realization Course (Small Group Clinic) | 5 days | Open to All Levels


  • Bit-Less Riding Lessons

Developing confidence though your seat and hands to gain a magical connection in self-carriage.

Liberty, Uberstriechen Exercises, Single Lining


Apprenticeship and working student opportunities are available


For more information and bookings please contact Carolyn’s Staff at:


Related posts:

  1. From the Horses’ Mouth – Beyond the Waterhole Rituals Clinic – Spring 2013
  2. Self Realization through the Training of Horses at Liberty
  3. Free Interactive Lesson – Part II – What do you Consider to be Rude Behavior in a Horse?

34 Responses to “Thank you for Joining me on my Webinar on Rude Behavior in Horses”

  1. 17
    avatar Stina says:

    Dear Carolyn,

    I enjoy your blog,
    and the stories written here, especially the one about Cowboy.
    This is a great forum, where life lessons are learned and shared.
    Thank you so much.


  2. 16
    avatar MaryGaye says:


    Rudeness. Having what used to be the rudest horse that could be imagined, I hated missing your Webcast the other day; but duty called elsewhere. However, whatever was said, I know that your advice was gold! I know because my rudest of rude horses, Cowboy, has become a very refined gentlehorse under your tutelage. However, your Blog triggered for me, the precise reason why what you have taught us, makes such a difference: “Politeness.”

    As you know, Cowboy was a horse that charged, head down, ears pinned, mouth open, teeth exposed, at any horse that came within 20-30 feet of him. He would run right over the top of me to do it, too. At feeding time, he kicked the walls, charged the horses on either side of him, biting at the wire stall dividers. On trail rides, he would charge, bite and kick at other horses. His idea of a “tea party” was to violently clear 20 other horses from around a huge round bale before choosing his spot to eat. Then he would allow a select few other horses to timidly approach the bale and get permission to eat on the other side of the bale. In addition to occasionally running over the top of me, Cowboy was very skilled at pushing me all over the place, without me even knowing I was moving.

    That is all History. Yesterday while Cowboy, Nemo and I were having an extended tea party over the small hay cart, I was thinking about your blog and the concept of “politeness” of which you wrote, finally became abundantly clear. As I watched the boys enjoy their tea party for almost two hours – while having to occasionally, yet gently, suggest that Cowboy step away from the tea table to remember his manners, I pondered the differences between “respect” and “politeness.” As always, Carolyn, you have managed to state something profound, in the simplest way possible.

    This is what I have figured out. Normally, people talk about the horse “respecting” us. But “respect” is a loaded word. It involves boundaries and obedience, but it has connotations not applicable to your teachings. There’s the respect a new marine in boot camp feels for his drill sergeant. That’s not what we’re looking for. Then there’s the respect a grandchild feels for an elderly grandparent. A student’s respect for a favorite teacher, or principal. These are close to “polite”, but even in these examples, there’s usually a bit of awe, sometimes discomfort and possibly fear. And sometimes in such relationships there’s little testing of the limits. Then, there’s the “respect” that some horse people demand, with whips, spurs, bigger and fiercer bits etc ad nauseam. Well, really, that last example is not respect, its torture, but some people would call it “respect.”

    But “politeness” is very different. Politeness infers respect and boundaries, but it also means softness and gentleness, caring, and most especially, empathy for the others around you – wanting to make the other person feel welcome. Endeavoring to behave in calm, quiet, thoughtful ways that will make the other person feel comfortable. However, politeness also calls for clear boundaries and a certain code of conduct. Whoever is “mother” for any tea party has very clear duties, as do the other participants. There are boundaries for everyone’s roles. And it is knowing the boundaries to proper decorum and everyone’s roles and duties, that makes tea a calm, relaxing, enjoyable event for all participants. It is when someone comes to the tea party and violates the rules and boundaries, that things turn topsy turvy, to the mental, physical, emotional and social discomfort of all. Often these negative consequences are felt most strongly by the violator. It is the violator that feels confused, left out, and angry – not only does he not know the rules, but now other people are angry and rejecting him for violating those rules.

    That was Cowboy. He didn’t know how to be polite with horses or people, and I didn’t know how to teach him. He was unhappy, alone and frustrated. The Waterhole Rituals changed all of that. Through the WHR you taught me and Cowboy how to be polite: human to horse, horse to human, and horse to horse (and even human to human). By doing everything at Liberty, I had to learn and truly understand the rules – otherwise, Cowboy would not have paid any attention to me. If I had used tack, I would have ended up using some degree of force, however small, in teaching and enforcing the rules. There can be no force in true Liberty. Thus, the understanding of the rules and what it takes to invoke behavior consistent with those rules, is on a much deeper level – now it only takes a mere noise in my throat, a word, the pointing of a finger, or the movement of a reed, and Cowboy understands and responds. Cowboy loves having rules and knowing what they are!!! He is only unhappy when I forget the rules or don’t enforce them consistently.

    The direct result of the WHR and your work with me and Cowboy is a happier and more polite existence for us both – along with my elderly Arabian gelding, Prince and friend Nemo. Actually, it was having tea parties with Prince, each taking turns with bites of carrots or senior feed, that brought another revelation about politeness. Because I was so focused on making sure Cowboy remained polite, I found myself ignoring Prince’s rude behavior – being pushy and grabby, moving from his “spot.” Then I noticed that when Prince would act rudely, Cowboy was responding with what appeared to be “rude behavior”. Of course, at first, it was Cowboy who was reprimanded for being rude. Well, as usual, I have to be hit over the head with a rock before I see what is plainly before me – Cowboy was not being “rude” he was trying to correct Prince’s rudeness. That dilemma has been resolved — as Cowboy was trying to tell me, everyone has to be polite – the same rules apply to everyone, horse and humans.

    As always, Carolyn, your words are an inspiration to my thought, reasoning, direction and action in my aspiration to become the best horsewoman I can possibly be. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

    Love MaryGaye

    • 16.1

      Dear MaryGaye,
      Thank you for caring and staying connected with me and my blog.
      I love your outlook on my method and your outlook on rude behavior and how it plays into your daily life. Please give Cowboy and big kiss. I still have you and Cowboy’s picture in my office and think of you fondly and often.


  3. 15
    avatar mundy says:

    Hello Carolyn
    I have been listening to your webinar with interest and joy. Working with Billy last tuesday and asking him to leave, on the lunge, from a walk, resulted in him taking a small distance and then
    stopping and turning towards me just as your first caller described. Can you tell me more please about what might this mean? I had no difficulty in asking him to walk beside me. It was only when I asked for a bit more distance that he turned towards me in this way and stood still.

    Also: would it be possible to see a photo of the way you would tie the horse to the tree ‘above his head’ as you described in the webinar? I would love to be absolutely clear about how you are tying him/her.

    Many grateful thanks Carolyn for your generous teaching.

    • 15.1

      Dear Mundy,
      Glad you enjoyed my webinar. There is a video on my facebook that shows you how to lounge your horse. You can do a coaching call to get more information in how to tie your horse. I could tell you on a 10 minuet coaching call if you are truly interested. I am not set up to tie a horse at my ranch so I can not help you with this one.
      In the old days you got very little from trainers and it was all we really needed. I remember the first time I stated a horse under saddle and I was concerned I would not do it right. I had never seen a horse started like you not seeing how I tie a horse to a tree. I went to an old cowboy and ask him. He mumbled “When you get on him keep him moving pretty fast and keep turning him to go in a new direction in a flowing way. Try to keep it smooth.” I did not ask what smooth looked like or how sharp the turns. That was it, that was all he told me! I was appreciative and it was enough. I started alot of horses with this information.

      I hope this helps,

  4. 14
    avatar Aline Mellema/ IC/ Angel and Vicky/ Netherlands/ ECspring2011, ICfall2011, BTWRCmarch2012 says:

    Thank you for another wonderful blog post Carolyn.
    The things you write are so beautiful and true! Sometimes I just can’t find the words to describe how grateful I am of knowing you and learning from you…

    Without the Waterhole Rituals I would have never been able to have such a strong connection with my horses and I would have never been able to do things like this…
    (this is a video of last week)

    And you know… it’s not just the fact that we can do things like this now… Because there are more people who can do this and maybe they are even better at it. But that doens’t matter to me anymore…
    It’s all about how it feels when we do these things.
    It’s the joy and connection we feel when we work together….
    it’s not about the result. It’s about the relationship, just being together and having FUN <3

    Thank you for that Carolyn!

    Much love,

    • 14.1
      avatar Midi Fairgrieve, Spain, IC, Sultan says:

      Dear Aline,

      Your video brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing it. What a beautiful connection you have and so much fun in harmony with your horse. Thank you Carolyn for giving us a way to connect to our horses in such a deep way. Really inspiring.
      Love, Midi

      • 14.1.1

        Dear Midi,
        Thank you for being in my class and getting what it is that horses bring to our lives.


      • 14.1.2
        avatar Aline Mellema/ IC/ Angel and Vicky/ Netherlands/ ECspring2011, ICfall2011, BTWRCmarch2012 says:

        Dear Midi,
        thank you so much for your kind words!
        Love, Aline

    • 14.2

      Dear Aline,
      I cried too. So beautiful. When I see what you are doing I remember more deeply what life is all about the companionship and dance we can share with horses. Too beautiful being Angle and Aline have each other you are so luck and you both deserve the love you bring to one another.

      With love and respect,

      • 14.2.1
        avatar Aline Mellema/ IC/ Angel and Vicky/ Netherlands/ ECspring2011, ICfall2011, BTWRCmarch2012 says:

        wow… thank you so much Carolyn… much LOVE <3

  5. 13
    avatar Erica Dixon UK Izzy: EC spring '11, BTWHR's Dec 12; spring 13 IC says:

    Checking in – :D

    Warmest wishes


  6. 12
    avatar Sofia Rivas says:

    Specialy for a green horse keeper like me this is valuable information. I just follow my instincts and listen to my horse to have a good relationship with him. Thank you for sharing all your knowledge with us

    Sofia Rivas

  7. 11
    avatar Jayne Forster NooNoo,IC,UK says:

    Hello Carolyn,
    Thank you for the recordings of your webinar,I love your answers,they always sound full of common sense/horse sense. Thank you for sharing your method and knowledge,today thanks to you I clipped my Noo noo at liberty!! she just stood,and was like “”ok Mum you say I am hairy and need this I will help you,put my head up lift a leg forward,you can do whatever you like I trust you”"” It never ceases to amaze me what comes from Whr’s..
    Love Jayne and Noo noo.

    • 11.1

      Dear Jayne,

      I know you will appreciate this one :)

      Body clipping is taking all the hair off your horse and putting it on yourself.

      Yes, this is what I want people to understand – that the Waterhole Rituals offer benefits in the relationship you have with your horse at many different levels. It isn’t just what we train the horse to do. We learn how to work with a horse so that we get positive results and of course Sharing Territory just opens the door to an understanding of one another.

      Warmly, Carolyn

  8. 10

    checking in

    I too, missed the webinar and am looking forward to viewing the recording

    thanks, Carolyn

  9. 9
    avatar Midi Fairgrieve, Spain, IC, Sultan says:

    Dear Carolyn,

    Just checking in and loved your post. It feels like this course is something valuable for the rest of my life. It is helping me understand myself, my horses and I can see already their better understanding of me and we’re only on lesson 3! I love working from an place of mutual respect and politeness and being in harmony with a horse, just for one moment is magical. I am getting a glimpse of what is possible. Thanks you so much for your teachings.

  10. 8
    avatar Desiree Taylor/The Netherlands/EC & IC 2012, PC 2013 /Abby says:

    Hey look, that’s us :D ! And I mean: it’s so US!

    I have an interesting story to share about table manners and what it teaches us and horses about social interactions. Last Saturday, we added another horse to our herd of three. Integration is going quite smoothly and all four of them are actually already eating out of the same hay bin. This morning however, I noticed that Abby was keeping the new horse from eating out of the hay bin by standing across one of its corners, giving the new one nasty faces when she tried to approach the bin. The other two had no problem sharing their hay with the new horse. So what I did is I invited Abby to come with me, which she willingly did. I walked her all the way around the hay bin and parked her on the other side, between our two other horses, which freed up the corner for the new horse to eat. Of course, I do need to keep an eye on this situation and I may still need to adjust our feeding system, but I thought it was pretty neat that everybody willingly accepted to adjust the table arrangements to create a better atmosphere :-) .

    You method WORKS and it creates very polite and happy horses,

    • 8.1

      Dear Desiree,
      So glad to see how far you have come with your shared trust of one another. I know a bit of your journey because of what you have shared with me. Everything you achieved is of your own creative heart connection.
      Thank you for Sharing,

      • 8.1.1
        avatar Desiree Taylor/The Netherlands/EC & IC 2012, PC 2013 /Abby says:

        Thank you Carolyn. For everything!

  11. 7
    avatar Ulrike Kraft says:

    Dear Carolyn,

    I love the photo of your student Desiree Taylor! What’s her horse’s name? The same big smile on their faces!

    Thanks to your online course and your continued guidance and support, I’m finally learning how to make necessary things like trimming hooves and fly spray, fun and part of the game. Working out how to do it at liberty made the whole difference! Elodie put me onto one of your old blogs on fly spray I had been looking for but I kept getting distracted reading other interesting blogs of yours.
    I love being able to connect with other students of your method at “NING”. The warm and supportive environment is very motivating and a lot of fun!
    All of my horses really love me now, all I have to do is to appear on the horizon and stand there or if they are far away I might wave and they all come up at a very good, fast walk or even running. Twice now I influenced the herd to migrate to a different paddock the way I have seen the horses do it.

    Thanks again for everything you do for us.


    P.S. I’m looking forward to listening to the recording. Thank you!

    • 7.1
      avatar Desiree Taylor/The Netherlands/EC & IC 2012, PC 2013 /Abby says:

      Ulrike, thank you for your compliment on our picture. My horse is called “Abby” and she has a great smile :D

      • 7.1.1
        avatar Ulrike Kraft says:

        Thanks Desiree, I’d love to see some more photos of you and your horses – maybe you could post some at NING? I’ve never been into social network websites myself, but it’s so much fun there! I guess it’s because it’s all about horses and the WHR.

  12. 6
    avatar Anne-Marie says:

    Wonderful post. I will listen to the recording also.

    Thank you.

  13. 5

    I guess i missed notification of the webinar, darn! I would like to see that recording though if possible. thanks! ( i thought i had signed up)

  14. 4

    Checking in. Thanks for the webinar Carolyn, it was a bit late for me (1.00 am) so I will soon listen to the recording :-) .

  15. 3
    avatar Regina Walter says:

    Checking in Carolyn. Great post as usual.


  16. 2
    avatar Avril Wilson says:

    I just loved this post I have been working my two Arab girls at liberty with the dance and other rituals — sharing territory, eye contact and taking territory .On Sunday Oshe realy started to dance with me it was such a sight and her daughter has such connection and respect I love all your posts Carolyn

  17. 1

    Dear Carolyn,

    Thanks once again for the information you share. I read each post many times, and listen to each conversation over and over, and every time I learn something new or understand something more deeply.

    “Learning how to influence a horse to follow your lead from a natural process becomes a heart-felt fulfilling experience.” This is the most exciting thing for me! Influence–not force! My experience of leadership has up until now been from within the dominance paradigm, and as I’ve said before, I have so much to un-learn. But my understanding is deepening daily, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    I have no doubt that my Galahad agrees with me on that!

    – Kay