The Hello Ritual is a ritual I use a lot. It is so important. The Hello Ritual has the power to keep deepening the bond as much as Sharing Territory with a horse does. How you go about saying hello is important. The Hello Ritual needs to be performed with feeling and sensitivity. In your approach you can carry on a conversation with a horse by when you step toward a horse or pause or back up and walk away. It is a dance to show a horse your good attentions and respect for his feelings. It exhibits your intentions in respecting his personal space. It shows your horse that you can read his feelings when you respond to him like he would want you to.
This ritual is most useful for working with wild horses that do not trust people. It is a real ice breaker. It works with all creatures. It is the strongest dance of respect I know off. The dance of the hello ritual really pays homages to the rights of animals. It will help you inter the other side of nature kingdom. In this world you can experience unconditional love. Here is a video that shows how powerful this ritual is.
This week I’d also like to share a story from a student …
Dear Carolyn,
One can’t be reminded about the essence of your method too often. In one of your replies, you captured the difference between your method and that of Pat Parelli beautifully. My own experience verifies what you say about the phases being too much pressure. Also, when I acquired Amigo (my most recent partner) at 6 months, we began with the Waterhole Rituals, first building the bond and trust. Doing Parelli now is a “breeze.” There’s no need for any phases.
Learning and teaching is so much easier. It doesn’t even feel like training. I had purchased Amigo for $1 from the people where I board; they were that glad to get rid of him. I had to sign a statement acknowledging that I had been made aware that he had dangerous behaviors (kicking, striking, and biting). Amigo responded so well to your method that I never had to experience any of those behaviors. He is a wonderful little guy, confident, eager to learn, just plain well adjusted. Curiously, no one has ever asked me any questions concerning the method I use with Roscoe and Amigo. I am pleased and happy, however, that everyone can see the positive results and that Amigo is no longer viewed as a misfit.
My experience with Roscoe, my first horse, did not go as smoothly. I purchased Roscoe four years ago. At the time, I knew very little about horses. I heard about Pat Parelli’s program and tried to follow it to the letter. First mistake. (I recall that in one of your online classes, you said about training methods that they all work and they all don’t work.) Roscoe was dominant, strong-willed, aloof, and dignified. He also has a strong sense of fairness, much like Alessandra’s Rosalie. Since working with your method, Roscoe has revealed another aspect of his personality that is soft, kind, responsive, and fun loving. Anyway, we were constantly butting heads in phase 4. But phase 4 did not bring the desired results, quite the opposite. Roscoe braced and resisted even more strongly. You’re right when you say that at this point it becomes possible to be abusive because the logical progression of the phases is to continue increasing the pressure. To my credit, I never did that. Many of you reading this may be saying to yourselves what an idiot,, why didn’t she just stop and do something that her horse would like to do, which is what I now know to do. But I just didn’t have enough experience and knowledge then and had not yet found the Waterhole Rituals, although I must admit that a little voice was telling me to stop everything. Throughout, Roscoe was applying his own version of the phases, kicking and nipping. Finally, he leveled his rendition of level 4 porcupine game on my hip, a humdinger of a bite. That brought everything to a screeching halt at last. Our relationship was at its lowest point when I discovered you and the Waterhole Rituals.
Things turned around almost immediately. With the Waterhole Rituals, I learned to communicate more effectively. My tone, which to Roscoe must have been loud, obnoxious, shrill, rude, unfair, and demanding, became calm, quiet, supportive, clear, assertive, clear but flexible as well. I was learning to become a leader that Roscoe would willingly follow. I no longer was giving him something to brace against. Our relationship was no longer confrontational. We were able to relax in each other’s company. At liberty, Roscoe could let me know when I needed to adjust my leadership. Riding, which was also fraught with resistance, has become pleasant for both of us. I ride him bareback and bitless, and he is very responsive to light aids. Parelli is now a breeze. No phases!Two horses, two very different starts. They both taught me valuable lessons for which I am grateful. And I am grateful to you, Carolyn, and your method.
~ Karin Kozlowski
Thank-you for sharing your stories on my blog I look forward to more horse and human sightings. In fact today is Day 1 of our Beyond the Waterhole Rituals Clinic and the ranch is buzzing with excitement.
I recently starting saying Hello to my stallion. He got so excited (not sexually!) about the interaction that I had to laugh. He has gotten more calm about it and really likes to say Hi to me now. Before I’d go in and do whatever I was going to do with him, halter, etc. Now we have a definite Hello time and then I leave and come back later to do whatever. What a difference in his attitude toward me!
As soon as I become employed, I shall purchase your WH Rituals CD. From the tremendous success I’ve had with only doing a few of the rituals (leading from behind, companion walking, Hello, etc.) and not knowing if I am doing them right, I’m really looking forward to learning all of the rituals correctly!
What a lovely, lovely story. I can relate on so many levels. And Karin communicated so clearly the practical, emotional and spiritual benefits of the waterhole rituals. Thank you, Karin and Carolyn.
Yesterday a friend who grew up around horses but now lives apart from them brought her two little boys, ages 10 and 7, to come meet our herd.
I apologize for not having the wits to have taken a video of this: The little boys at first were going to try to extend their hands and touch their noses, but I asked them to learn to say hello horse style. I explained to them that horses say hello by breathing into one another’s noses. I had them put their hands and arms at their sides and just share breath with the horses.
It was so sweet to watch the horses respond to the little boys with bright, open faces. I wanted our horses to learn about children. You could just see that they were much more open and unafraid than if a strange adult came around. Some of our horses came from abusive backgrounds, so they don’t trust just any adult. But the children they just seemed to love.
I told them that to horses, children are sacred. I think a couple of boys now have been imprinted by horses for life! So precious!
I loved what you wrote, Stina! And I think anyone who can would be so happy they worked with Carolyn.
Thank you Karen, Clinic pal, for your story and photos!
And of course, Carolyn you have brought us all together!
it is in fact incredible that we do not all learn as the very first thing when we meet horses to say hello.
so do we learn to say hello to other people? yes ofcourse!
the reason why we are not obviously learning to say hello to other species is the process in which humans have been separated from the natural world, like we are something “different”
when i started to study with carolyn a bit over 4 years ago, i had this real “AHA”
and thinking “oh my goodness how could i “love” horses for so many years and not even considering learning to shake hands properly and say hello respectfully…
and that was just the AHA with the saying hello ritual, there are several AHA’s on every ritual and beyond.
so again, Carolyn, thank you for re teaching us manners!
Looking forward to hear from your clinic – anyone who can – save up and make it over to Carolyn’s Ranch – her teachings are a gift, so precious and special that it is in fact impossible to really describe it.
I love saying hello to the other horses in Roscoe and Amigo’s herd. Some horses are very shy. The little mustang, for example, although I’ve been saying hello to him for a few years now, still is very shy. Others are extremely eager, while others are first to engage. Great video! What struck me is that it took years of visiting the eel before Honey decided to make this spectacular contact. The relationship had to evolve. Thanks to you and Sharolyn for getting the photos up. A special thanks also to my buddy, Linda, for taking the pictures.
Hope you all have a good time on the clinic. Hope to join sometime in the future. Thank you Karin for your story. carolyns method has been such a great help for a lot of us
Love from a Sweden in rain and the lovely spring it´s on it´s way!
Dear Carolyn,
Whenever I see the interspecies connection or bond between human and animal, mammal, reptile insect – whatever – my heart space grows warmer and warmer and begins to tingle. I feel an urge for froward motion throughout my entire body, like I want to join them. I long to be there.
I long to live making these connections. They feel pure, breaking past the limitations we all live within, the false reality of separation and that we are each alone. When Commander is kissing me on my lips, when he stands by me and doesn’t want to be anywhere else, when I see the woman in this video being caressed by an eel, I feel the communion of souls. It is as close as these souls within bodily forms can get to the true reality that we are One. This concept of Oneness is personal for each of us. We have our personal belief systems. Your work is helping me make a connection in this life that I have ached for. It is so available with the other species. Once the limitations of fear are forgotten, then the dance of intimacy begins moving past shyness and timidity into passionate interaction, tender embracing, touching, investigating one another. Look at the eel, entwining himself with the woman’s body, hugging her. His whole being is present with her. In the moment which is timeless. Magical connection. I find it tragic that human beings find it so hard to do this. We are caught in a web of time and overriding construct of past and future. Our minds dominate and even though our bodies are always in the present moment, we don’t know how to be there. And we hold onto the sense of separation for innumerable reasons that are all false. And even when we are friends, lovers, parents, spouses we can still hold back because of conditioning we have experienced. I don’t deny the deep bond and connection of love, intimacy loyalty, trust, respect and more that can be had between people. Of course that is true! Yet I also see in the world around me people dealing with all the aspects of feeling separate. And, unlike horses and other species, we aren’t interacting with our environment or others in the present moment and this increases the sense of being separate. We are preoccupied, concerned, planning, being run by past experiences, conditioning, norms of conduct… The list is long!
But with another species? Do I feel the need to hold back because of these things? No. I am ready for the moment when it is appropriate, when it can happen and then wow! Thank you Carolyn! You have taught, are still teaching me how to do this in spite of my human foolishness, while offering the respect the other species is due and not acting selfishly from my own needs.
Love as always, Mary
Thank you for a lovely post and video. The first thing I do with my horses everyday is say hello. It has made a BIG difference between me and my mustang, Lyle. Small social graces make huge impacts.
WAITING FOR SAYING HELLO FOR NEARLY 2 YEARS WITH LE NOIR
Dear Carolyn, the first time i share my experience with my horses and your method. I did two clinics with Alessandra, road your book, have your CD’s joined one extended circle with you and was 2 weeks with stina every days lesson in her peacfull herd.
I practise your method since nearly 2 years.
Le noir my big hanover gelding i have since 15 years and other 3 horses at home – open stable and free in 20 ecars.
Well, Le Noir since i practis your method never said really hello to me and I decided not to ride any of the 4 anymore before not having a real relacionship on the ground.
The other three are activ with me and your wonderfull method but Le Noir – if he came close just said – hey give me something to eat – never lengthened his neck to tough me with his nose and never stopped in front of me but just 1 cm before my toes. Really slovley no agression but clearly not interested in me but something close to me (food, the gate ….).
I always felt an energy i could not handle and could only awoid him or tell him clearly what was MY space. Well he exeptet my space but still didnt come for ME saiing hello.
Well I did not work with him but telling him not to brake into my space. Twice he walked in to me, slowly as not seeing me at all. He didn’t want to hurt me but if i was not awake enough he pushed me to the side.
Once i was in the padock 10 meters from him, talking to Nataly (you know) he came walking i did not realise him just till he was 20 cm from me and i felt this energy just pushing mi out of the padock – he even did’t tough me!
I knew i coulndt work with this horse – there was no relation – aftyer 15 years!! No routeen, no daily riding and he could choose to SAY HELLO OR NOT – well he didnt!!
Last week Le Noir came close to me, stopped obout one and a half meter infront of me, lengthened his neck, toughed me with his nose, blow some air out and looked into my face.
No strange energy- just a real HALLO.
I offered my hand as well, exchanging the hello naturaly but after a few seconds i realised that it was my Le Noir saying so nicely HELLO to me.
I was so happely surprised that i ran into the little room, got a carrot, went back to him and said : Oh thank you for your nice hello, here i exchange this nice behaving with a carrot.
I went away – put some food outside of the paddock and went a 100 meter away. After 2,3 minites he came again and said hello in a nice way – i run and got some of the food far away. I walk away into the wood – he comes again finding me, saiing hello nicely and WE WALK BACK TOGETHER IN COMPAGNING WALKING WITH A PEACFULL ENERGY to the bucked with carrots500 meters far away!
Isn’t that incredibile?!
Now we are friends and i can work finely with my Le Noir – after nearly 2 years of waiting for him!!!!
I hope you will read this storry of “Waiting for saying hello of Le Noir”
Thank you a lot for your time
With love Elke Osterburg and Le Noir
Dear Carolyn, the video showing that amazing interspecies connection — WOW!
I have this personal experience as well with the saying hello ritual. Generates a good feeling within all species involved.
Sunny greetings from Holland/Geerteke
Wonderful post. I wish all at the clinic a wonderful journey of a lifetime and many new friends. Attending in person with Carolyn with True is my number one goal as soon as we are able. Greatings ahead of time to all in the next Innercircle Course. Looking forward to the journey and all the new friends.
Have a great time with the clinic! Next time I hope to participate.
Thanks for the story – I agree, the waterhole rituals complement the Parelli program very well!
I spent the winter horse time (especially around feeding time) improving my relationship with Spinner at liberty (he arrived as an over-desensitized, pushy stallion of 2.5). We started to like each other more in February
Now progressed to training on line, he learns fast and is very sensitive to my indications.
Great post! I loved the video, and I loved the story of Karin! Thanks for sharing this!
I wish you a very nice time at your ranch with your students and the horses.
Dear Carolyn, great post. Loved the video of the eel. Have a wonderful, magical, learning and sharing clinic. Hope to be there one day. Blessings~Lisa & Magnum
Thank you Carolyn for nice video, I loved it so much!!!
And thank you for sharing this story about how different methods affect horses and their behaviour. I experienced it myself when I just started to explore what natural horse training methods were out there and at the end it led me to you and your Waterhole Rituals which I knew right from the start that this method is what I have been looking for for a long time. Thank you Carolyn for doing amazing job for horses and people!!!
Hi Carolyn,
thanks for sharing Karin’s experiences. It helps to know horses can be turned round when you are beginning to doubt it!
Fliss and I are at a bit of a low with her youngster Red who you will get to know when Fliss begins in the extended circle. He is proving very difficult at the moment – no boundaries, no respect, dragging her everywhere, chewing at everything. I look forward to the transformation that I know your programme will bring.
Have a super clinic ….. one day i would love to be in a position to do it …..
best wishes,
claire
I loved the video. I always thought; a moray eel was so dangerous. I guess, when you love nature: most of the time, it loves you too. the video was so unbelievable. I really love the way you respect horses. I always say hello to my horse. I know he has to understand what,s next. I always ask for a little love. If he’s not there, He figures it out so quick. I respect all my animals. I wish I new what they were thinking. I leave them alone . They always follow me. My Pug is always next to me. I hate to leave her. It’s like she will never see me again. when I get home she runs right up my legs to my face, just wiggling all over, she can hardly catch her breath. I love the animals , and I know they can’t see what I think. I just want them to be happy.
Thank you for a lovely blog! I’ve received your Intro to the Waterhole Rituals dvd & absolutely *love* it – much has been clarified for me & each time I see my horses I’m noticing small changes in the way they respond to me, due to the way I’m now interacting with them
I had a lovely day down at the barn this afternoon. I really wanted to go into the bigger corral with Gingy right away to try the things you suggested involving food, but the time was just right to sit on the ground and soak up the sun. Just as soon as I was settled the cats showed and next thing I knew I had one curled up in my lap. Then Gingy came over. We took turns sniffing noses for awhile, then he rested his head against my cheek. We sat like that for time out of mind just enjoying all of the scents, sounds, and sights of nature. Gingy is shedding his winter coat now and was quite itchy so I moved on to grooming him. We made a game of it in which I would itch his favorite spot with the brush or with my fingers then he would return the favor by standing quietly while I brushed the rest of him including his tail and mane. As I was doing this I thought of your post on how to play the waiting game and how developing the anticipation develops the horse’s patience as well. I think that’s exactly what happened with grooming today. At first he got grumpy whenever I stopped itching him in order to brush him but, when he understood that the brushing proceeded the scratch he decided he could wait nicely. After that we went into the big corral. He tends to simply walk off when I first open the gate, so this time I interrupted the pattern by having him halt and back up. When I asked him through the gate for real his focus was really on me and he didn’t leave. I put the hay out like you suggested Carolyn, and sure enough after few a repetitions of me sending him away and bring him back he became more focused on me and was willing to leave the food alone. He has several spots in corral that he dislikes, so it was big complement when he chose to come to me at one of those spots even though he also wanted to run off to try and eat the hay. It was certainly a tough decision for him, but still he chose me. I’ve noticed with our companion walking that I’m not expecting him to follow, but somewhere in today’s play something clicked and I began to believe in our bond. When that happened I felt the magnetic connection you’ve written about. I can’t wait to go out again to take the next step in journey together.
Carolyn, thank you again for opening up this forum to study the myriad subtleties of something seemingly as simple as saying hello!
As I know you know and say, there is an art to controlling the energy with which we interact with horses or any other situation.
There were two key discussions on this blog about mental pictures we have when interacting with horses, and I apologize that I can’t remember the people or situations where these things were brought up. I do remember that Hempfling once said that when a horse is faced with a discrepancy between the inner person and the outer person, they will always respond to the inner person.
You have explained that horses have an instinct to follow what moves away, and get out of the way of what comes towards it. One of the disciplines I have learned in three years of your forum is first controlling the mental picture I hold when interacting with a horse. In regard to saying hello I found, then, that if when I approach to say hello, I could mentally picture myself growing smaller and shrinking back – I imagine myself going backward while I am really walking forward. I think that on a physical level it manifests by my body posture softening and my form slightly compressing. I find that when I do this, I always get an eager response. If something breaks my concentration and I come up “full strength” the horse will always step away instead of wanting to greet me.
The other helpful point with respect to saying hello was a discussion on visualizing what your horse will do. I apologize that I don’t remember which guest post was the one who spoke of this, but someone was always imagining their horse to stumble or do something unfortunate. And so the horse did. The guest poster that time learned that it is critical to visualize the horse doing what we hope they will. So I have found this to always work so well, if while saying hello to any of our horses, I imagine being welcomed by them, a warm hello and ears forward.
They do see through all the rest to our hearts and minds.
I hope this is clear. It is so subtle but yet so powerful – our mental relationship with our horses.
What an unusual and interesting video. I also loved reading Karen’s letter about turning around her “dangerous” horse using your method. It should be an inspiration for many.
I simply adore the eel video! Thank you so much for posting it. Our earth creatures are so worthy.We just never know how worthy they are until something like this surfaces. How extraordinary.
checking in — and grateful you shared Karin’s letter. I am on a similar journey with my horse, as she describes with Roscoe; I feel less alone on the plateau after reading this.
Dear Carolyn,
Again, you seem to write just what I need at the right time. Thank you.
I know the clinic is generating amazing excitement on your mountainside as another group gathers to have their lives changed forever.
Much excitement, like the wind, is sweeping down the Plains of Oklahoma with the prospect of your WHR Clinic here in October!
With joy,
Ruella Yates
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Learning and teaching is so much easier. It doesn’t even feel like training. I had purchased Amigo for $1 from the people where I board; they were that glad to get rid of him. I had to sign a statement acknowledging that I had been made aware that he had dangerous behaviors (kicking, striking, and biting). Amigo responded so well to your method that I never had to experience any of those behaviors. He is a wonderful little guy, confident, eager to learn, just plain well adjusted. Curiously, no one has ever asked me any questions concerning the method I use with Roscoe and Amigo. I am pleased and happy, however, that everyone can see the positive results and that Amigo is no longer viewed as a misfit.
My experience with Roscoe, my first horse, did not go as smoothly. I purchased Roscoe four years ago. At the time, I knew very little about horses. I heard about Pat Parelli’s program and tried to follow it to the letter. First mistake. (I recall that in one of your online classes, you said about training methods that they all work and they all don’t work.) Roscoe was dominant, strong-willed, aloof, and dignified. He also has a strong sense of fairness, much like Alessandra’s Rosalie. Since working with your method, Roscoe has revealed another aspect of his personality that is soft, kind, responsive, and fun loving. Anyway, we were constantly butting heads in phase 4. But phase 4 did not bring the desired results, quite the opposite. Roscoe braced and resisted even more strongly. You’re right when you say that at this point it becomes possible to be abusive because the logical progression of the phases is to continue increasing the pressure. To my credit, I never did that. Many of you reading this may be saying to yourselves what an idiot,, why didn’t she just stop and do something that her horse would like to do, which is what I now know to do. But I just didn’t have enough experience and knowledge then and had not yet found the Waterhole Rituals, although I must admit that a little voice was telling me to stop everything. Throughout, Roscoe was applying his own version of the phases, kicking and nipping. Finally, he leveled his rendition of level 4 porcupine game on my hip, a humdinger of a bite. That brought everything to a screeching halt at last. Our relationship was at its lowest point when I discovered you and the Waterhole Rituals.
Things turned around almost immediately. With the Waterhole Rituals, I learned to communicate more effectively. My tone, which to Roscoe must have been loud, obnoxious, shrill, rude, unfair, and demanding, became calm, quiet, supportive, clear, assertive, clear but flexible as well. I was learning to become a leader that Roscoe would willingly follow. I no longer was giving him something to brace against. Our relationship was no longer confrontational. We were able to relax in each other’s company. At liberty, Roscoe could let me know when I needed to adjust my leadership. Riding, which was also fraught with resistance, has become pleasant for both of us. I ride him bareback and bitless, and he is very responsive to light aids. Parelli is now a breeze. No phases!Two horses, two very different starts. They both taught me valuable lessons for which I am grateful. And I am grateful to you, Carolyn, and your method.
~ Karin Kozlowski
Hello Carolyn and everyone.
I recently starting saying Hello to my stallion. He got so excited (not sexually!) about the interaction that I had to laugh. He has gotten more calm about it and really likes to say Hi to me now. Before I’d go in and do whatever I was going to do with him, halter, etc. Now we have a definite Hello time and then I leave and come back later to do whatever. What a difference in his attitude toward me!
As soon as I become employed, I shall purchase your WH Rituals CD. From the tremendous success I’ve had with only doing a few of the rituals (leading from behind, companion walking, Hello, etc.) and not knowing if I am doing them right, I’m really looking forward to learning all of the rituals correctly!
Thank you Carolyn!
Laura & Dichoso
What a lovely, lovely story. I can relate on so many levels. And Karin communicated so clearly the practical, emotional and spiritual benefits of the waterhole rituals. Thank you, Karin and Carolyn.
Yesterday a friend who grew up around horses but now lives apart from them brought her two little boys, ages 10 and 7, to come meet our herd.
I apologize for not having the wits to have taken a video of this: The little boys at first were going to try to extend their hands and touch their noses, but I asked them to learn to say hello horse style. I explained to them that horses say hello by breathing into one another’s noses. I had them put their hands and arms at their sides and just share breath with the horses.
It was so sweet to watch the horses respond to the little boys with bright, open faces. I wanted our horses to learn about children. You could just see that they were much more open and unafraid than if a strange adult came around. Some of our horses came from abusive backgrounds, so they don’t trust just any adult. But the children they just seemed to love.
I told them that to horses, children are sacred. I think a couple of boys now have been imprinted by horses for life! So precious!
I loved what you wrote, Stina! And I think anyone who can would be so happy they worked with Carolyn.
Thank you Karen, Clinic pal, for your story and photos!
And of course, Carolyn you have brought us all together!
about saying hello
it is in fact incredible that we do not all learn as the very first thing when we meet horses to say hello.
so do we learn to say hello to other people? yes ofcourse!
the reason why we are not obviously learning to say hello to other species is the process in which humans have been separated from the natural world, like we are something “different”
when i started to study with carolyn a bit over 4 years ago, i had this real “AHA”
and thinking “oh my goodness how could i “love” horses for so many years and not even considering learning to shake hands properly and say hello respectfully…
and that was just the AHA with the saying hello ritual, there are several AHA’s on every ritual and beyond.
so again, Carolyn, thank you for re teaching us manners!
Looking forward to hear from your clinic – anyone who can – save up and make it over to Carolyn’s Ranch – her teachings are a gift, so precious and special that it is in fact impossible to really describe it.
It has to be experienced.
Dear Carolyn,
I love saying hello to the other horses in Roscoe and Amigo’s herd. Some horses are very shy. The little mustang, for example, although I’ve been saying hello to him for a few years now, still is very shy. Others are extremely eager, while others are first to engage. Great video! What struck me is that it took years of visiting the eel before Honey decided to make this spectacular contact. The relationship had to evolve. Thanks to you and Sharolyn for getting the photos up. A special thanks also to my buddy, Linda, for taking the pictures.
Karin
Hello!
Hope you all have a good time on the clinic. Hope to join sometime in the future. Thank you Karin for your story. carolyns method has been such a great help for a lot of us
Love from a Sweden in rain and the lovely spring it´s on it´s way!
Anna-karin
Hi Carolyn
Checking in and wishing you all a great clinic.
Love
Carolyn B
Dear Carolyn,
Whenever I see the interspecies connection or bond between human and animal, mammal, reptile insect – whatever – my heart space grows warmer and warmer and begins to tingle. I feel an urge for froward motion throughout my entire body, like I want to join them. I long to be there.
I long to live making these connections. They feel pure, breaking past the limitations we all live within, the false reality of separation and that we are each alone. When Commander is kissing me on my lips, when he stands by me and doesn’t want to be anywhere else, when I see the woman in this video being caressed by an eel, I feel the communion of souls. It is as close as these souls within bodily forms can get to the true reality that we are One. This concept of Oneness is personal for each of us. We have our personal belief systems. Your work is helping me make a connection in this life that I have ached for. It is so available with the other species. Once the limitations of fear are forgotten, then the dance of intimacy begins moving past shyness and timidity into passionate interaction, tender embracing, touching, investigating one another. Look at the eel, entwining himself with the woman’s body, hugging her. His whole being is present with her. In the moment which is timeless. Magical connection. I find it tragic that human beings find it so hard to do this. We are caught in a web of time and overriding construct of past and future. Our minds dominate and even though our bodies are always in the present moment, we don’t know how to be there. And we hold onto the sense of separation for innumerable reasons that are all false. And even when we are friends, lovers, parents, spouses we can still hold back because of conditioning we have experienced. I don’t deny the deep bond and connection of love, intimacy loyalty, trust, respect and more that can be had between people. Of course that is true! Yet I also see in the world around me people dealing with all the aspects of feeling separate. And, unlike horses and other species, we aren’t interacting with our environment or others in the present moment and this increases the sense of being separate. We are preoccupied, concerned, planning, being run by past experiences, conditioning, norms of conduct… The list is long!
But with another species? Do I feel the need to hold back because of these things? No. I am ready for the moment when it is appropriate, when it can happen and then wow! Thank you Carolyn! You have taught, are still teaching me how to do this in spite of my human foolishness, while offering the respect the other species is due and not acting selfishly from my own needs.
Love as always, Mary
HI Carolyn
Hope your clinic is going well.
Like everyone else, I too have discovered how powerfull the hello ritual really is.
Thank you for sharing Elke. Enjoyed your story. Blessings~Lisa & Magnum
Carolyn,
Thank you for a lovely post and video. The first thing I do with my horses everyday is say hello. It has made a BIG difference between me and my mustang, Lyle. Small social graces make huge impacts.
Toni
WAITING FOR SAYING HELLO FOR NEARLY 2 YEARS WITH LE NOIR
Dear Carolyn, the first time i share my experience with my horses and your method. I did two clinics with Alessandra, road your book, have your CD’s joined one extended circle with you and was 2 weeks with stina every days lesson in her peacfull herd.
I practise your method since nearly 2 years.
Le noir my big hanover gelding i have since 15 years and other 3 horses at home – open stable and free in 20 ecars.
Well, Le Noir since i practis your method never said really hello to me and I decided not to ride any of the 4 anymore before not having a real relacionship on the ground.
The other three are activ with me and your wonderfull method but Le Noir – if he came close just said – hey give me something to eat – never lengthened his neck to tough me with his nose and never stopped in front of me but just 1 cm before my toes. Really slovley no agression but clearly not interested in me but something close to me (food, the gate ….).
I always felt an energy i could not handle and could only awoid him or tell him clearly what was MY space. Well he exeptet my space but still didnt come for ME saiing hello.
Well I did not work with him but telling him not to brake into my space. Twice he walked in to me, slowly as not seeing me at all. He didn’t want to hurt me but if i was not awake enough he pushed me to the side.
Once i was in the padock 10 meters from him, talking to Nataly (you know) he came walking i did not realise him just till he was 20 cm from me and i felt this energy just pushing mi out of the padock – he even did’t tough me!
I knew i coulndt work with this horse – there was no relation – aftyer 15 years!! No routeen, no daily riding and he could choose to SAY HELLO OR NOT – well he didnt!!
Last week Le Noir came close to me, stopped obout one and a half meter infront of me, lengthened his neck, toughed me with his nose, blow some air out and looked into my face.
No strange energy- just a real HALLO.
I offered my hand as well, exchanging the hello naturaly but after a few seconds i realised that it was my Le Noir saying so nicely HELLO to me.
I was so happely surprised that i ran into the little room, got a carrot, went back to him and said : Oh thank you for your nice hello, here i exchange this nice behaving with a carrot.
I went away – put some food outside of the paddock and went a 100 meter away. After 2,3 minites he came again and said hello in a nice way – i run and got some of the food far away. I walk away into the wood – he comes again finding me, saiing hello nicely and WE WALK BACK TOGETHER IN COMPAGNING WALKING WITH A PEACFULL ENERGY to the bucked with carrots500 meters far away!
Isn’t that incredibile?!
Now we are friends and i can work finely with my Le Noir – after nearly 2 years of waiting for him!!!!
I hope you will read this storry of “Waiting for saying hello of Le Noir”
Thank you a lot for your time
With love Elke Osterburg and Le Noir
Dear Carolyn, the video showing that amazing interspecies connection — WOW!
I have this personal experience as well with the saying hello ritual. Generates a good feeling within all species involved.
Sunny greetings from Holland/Geerteke
Carolyn,
Wonderful post. I wish all at the clinic a wonderful journey of a lifetime and many new friends. Attending in person with Carolyn with True is my number one goal as soon as we are able. Greatings ahead of time to all in the next Innercircle Course. Looking forward to the journey and all the new friends.
Best to all,
Leanna
Hello….
Saying hello is always the first interaction I have with my horses each day. Loved the post and Karin’s story.
Thanks.
Have a great time with the clinic! Next time I hope to participate.
Thanks for the story – I agree, the waterhole rituals complement the Parelli program very well!
I spent the winter horse time (especially around feeding time) improving my relationship with Spinner at liberty (he arrived as an over-desensitized, pushy stallion of 2.5). We started to like each other more in February
Now progressed to training on line, he learns fast and is very sensitive to my indications.
Great post! I loved the video, and I loved the story of Karin! Thanks for sharing this!
I wish you a very nice time at your ranch with your students and the horses.
Elodie
I have always stated
Waterhole Rituals First
Then the 7 games of Parelli
makes a great horse
Dear Carolyn, great post. Loved the video of the eel. Have a wonderful, magical, learning and sharing clinic. Hope to be there one day. Blessings~Lisa & Magnum
Checking in, have a wonderful clinic, wish I was there!
best
susan (Italy)
Thank you Carolyn for nice video, I loved it so much!!!
And thank you for sharing this story about how different methods affect horses and their behaviour. I experienced it myself when I just started to explore what natural horse training methods were out there and at the end it led me to you and your Waterhole Rituals which I knew right from the start that this method is what I have been looking for for a long time. Thank you Carolyn for doing amazing job for horses and people!!!
Best regards,
Kristine Adamsone (Latvia)
Hi Carolyn,
thanks for sharing Karin’s experiences. It helps to know horses can be turned round when you are beginning to doubt it!
Fliss and I are at a bit of a low with her youngster Red who you will get to know when Fliss begins in the extended circle. He is proving very difficult at the moment – no boundaries, no respect, dragging her everywhere, chewing at everything. I look forward to the transformation that I know your programme will bring.
Have a super clinic ….. one day i would love to be in a position to do it …..
best wishes,
claire
Hi Carolyn
Thank you,
And a happy time with the students
Take Care
Lots of love
Monique
I loved the video. I always thought; a moray eel was so dangerous. I guess, when you love nature: most of the time, it loves you too. the video was so unbelievable. I really love the way you respect horses. I always say hello to my horse. I know he has to understand what,s next. I always ask for a little love. If he’s not there, He figures it out so quick. I respect all my animals. I wish I new what they were thinking. I leave them alone . They always follow me. My Pug is always next to me. I hate to leave her. It’s like she will never see me again. when I get home she runs right up my legs to my face, just wiggling all over, she can hardly catch her breath. I love the animals , and I know they can’t see what I think. I just want them to be happy.
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you for a lovely blog! I’ve received your Intro to the Waterhole Rituals dvd & absolutely *love* it – much has been clarified for me & each time I see my horses I’m noticing small changes in the way they respond to me, due to the way I’m now interacting with them
Have a wonderful clinic!
Warm wishes,
Barbara
Checking in
I had a lovely day down at the barn this afternoon. I really wanted to go into the bigger corral with Gingy right away to try the things you suggested involving food, but the time was just right to sit on the ground and soak up the sun. Just as soon as I was settled the cats showed and next thing I knew I had one curled up in my lap. Then Gingy came over. We took turns sniffing noses for awhile, then he rested his head against my cheek. We sat like that for time out of mind just enjoying all of the scents, sounds, and sights of nature. Gingy is shedding his winter coat now and was quite itchy so I moved on to grooming him. We made a game of it in which I would itch his favorite spot with the brush or with my fingers then he would return the favor by standing quietly while I brushed the rest of him including his tail and mane. As I was doing this I thought of your post on how to play the waiting game and how developing the anticipation develops the horse’s patience as well. I think that’s exactly what happened with grooming today. At first he got grumpy whenever I stopped itching him in order to brush him but, when he understood that the brushing proceeded the scratch he decided he could wait nicely. After that we went into the big corral. He tends to simply walk off when I first open the gate, so this time I interrupted the pattern by having him halt and back up. When I asked him through the gate for real his focus was really on me and he didn’t leave. I put the hay out like you suggested Carolyn, and sure enough after few a repetitions of me sending him away and bring him back he became more focused on me and was willing to leave the food alone. He has several spots in corral that he dislikes, so it was big complement when he chose to come to me at one of those spots even though he also wanted to run off to try and eat the hay. It was certainly a tough decision for him, but still he chose me. I’ve noticed with our companion walking that I’m not expecting him to follow, but somewhere in today’s play something clicked and I began to believe in our bond. When that happened I felt the magnetic connection you’ve written about. I can’t wait to go out again to take the next step in journey together.
Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart.
Best wishes,
Grace.
Carolyn, thank you again for opening up this forum to study the myriad subtleties of something seemingly as simple as saying hello!
As I know you know and say, there is an art to controlling the energy with which we interact with horses or any other situation.
There were two key discussions on this blog about mental pictures we have when interacting with horses, and I apologize that I can’t remember the people or situations where these things were brought up. I do remember that Hempfling once said that when a horse is faced with a discrepancy between the inner person and the outer person, they will always respond to the inner person.
You have explained that horses have an instinct to follow what moves away, and get out of the way of what comes towards it. One of the disciplines I have learned in three years of your forum is first controlling the mental picture I hold when interacting with a horse. In regard to saying hello I found, then, that if when I approach to say hello, I could mentally picture myself growing smaller and shrinking back – I imagine myself going backward while I am really walking forward. I think that on a physical level it manifests by my body posture softening and my form slightly compressing. I find that when I do this, I always get an eager response. If something breaks my concentration and I come up “full strength” the horse will always step away instead of wanting to greet me.
The other helpful point with respect to saying hello was a discussion on visualizing what your horse will do. I apologize that I don’t remember which guest post was the one who spoke of this, but someone was always imagining their horse to stumble or do something unfortunate. And so the horse did. The guest poster that time learned that it is critical to visualize the horse doing what we hope they will. So I have found this to always work so well, if while saying hello to any of our horses, I imagine being welcomed by them, a warm hello and ears forward.
They do see through all the rest to our hearts and minds.
I hope this is clear. It is so subtle but yet so powerful – our mental relationship with our horses.
What an unusual and interesting video. I also loved reading Karen’s letter about turning around her “dangerous” horse using your method. It should be an inspiration for many.
Pat
What a wonderful video of interspecies affection!
Hope you have an amazing clinic …
I simply adore the eel video! Thank you so much for posting it. Our earth creatures are so worthy.We just never know how worthy they are until something like this surfaces. How extraordinary.
Sincerely,
Kristin
checking in — and grateful you shared Karin’s letter. I am on a similar journey with my horse, as she describes with Roscoe; I feel less alone on the plateau after reading this.
Dear Carolyn, have a wonderful clinic! Looking forward to hear how it goes and seeing photos. As always I enjoy your blog.
Sun Wind and Rain / Stina
Dear Carolyn,
Again, you seem to write just what I need at the right time. Thank you.
I know the clinic is generating amazing excitement on your mountainside as another group gathers to have their lives changed forever.
Much excitement, like the wind, is sweeping down the Plains of Oklahoma with the prospect of your WHR Clinic here in October!
With joy,
Ruella Yates