Unconditional love
Sep 17th, 2008 by Carolyn Resnick Method
Last Friday I told the story of how my long-time friend and Certified Trainer, Robin Gates, overcame resistance with a horse she was training. I asked for your thoughts on the matter and thank you to those of you who offered your opinions in response.
This kind of feedback is so valuable for everyone who reads the blog as we all get a different perspective on the subject in hand, which maybe causes us to rethink our own conclusions. So thank you again.
For what it’s worth then, here is my opinion on how Robin viewed and dealt with the situation.
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Dear Lindsey,
I am not sure I fully understand your questions. Are you wanting to start your horse under saddle or train your horse to go backwards? I will answer your question after I hear from you and make sure I have the right idea. As far as your concern for your mare and her separation from a buddy. You can be a hero to your horse by taking her to see her friend and hanging out with her on a regular basis. This will help her make the adjustment and also deepen the connection she has with you. When you take her back to her pen make sure there is food she really likes to eat waiting there for her. As you are with her giving her horse treats and hanging out with her in her own place she will not have to go through so much and it should be less dramatic..
Carolyn
Hi Carolyn,
I don’t know whether you ever look in on my blog (http://ceffylau.blogspot.com), so I want to repeat my big thank you by writing to your site. A while ago you had a post about making a scary or spooky place a favourite place. I tried this with my mare this week. She has always refused to go down one end of the arena and if I insist will either dance away sideways or even bolt to the other side. On Tuesday I made her work in the comfortable end for a few circuits and then took her down to the spooky end for relaxation at the walk on a loose rein. It worked like a dream and I had no difficulties getting her to stay down the scary end of the arena. Thank you for this simple insight.
With all best wishes,
Nor’dzin
Present training in schools and universities, and attitudes in many jobs are primarily focused on methods.
Learning to focus on the relationship when working with horses, is a good way to learn to balance this situation.
I presume that the habit of focusing on method, is the main stumbling block for people trying to grow in horsemanship.
Hi there, I loved the ‘Unconditional Love’ article. So many horese people do not understand this approach. I have been trying to back my frisien/boerperd for the past year and am still battling on. Do you think that it is okay to let the horse and relationship develop at its own pace – even if it takes years? Is there any danger in not riding for such a long period of time? I am loving the connection and do not want to compromise the bond that my horse and I have.
She also has a best friend that she has pair-bonded with. Unfortunately the ‘best friend’ is now moving to another part of the farm and they will no longer be together. How will this affect my beloved and how can I best deal with this situation – am so worried that she may become depressed!
Many thanks and I look forward to your reply.
Lindsay
P.S. Do you ever hold clinics in South Africa? Would you be willing to?