Using the Waterhole Rituals
Feb 26th, 2009 by Carolyn Resnick Method
Hi. As you might have guessed, I’m a very practical person, I learn by doing. Utlimately though, we all must learn by doing as there is no alternative and this is especially true with horses. I do hope that you enjoy watching my DVDs and reading my book but I have to tell you that unless you get out there and put them into practise, you will never know what sort of results you might get.
I recently had a lovely email from a lady called Madelaine. Here’s what she had to say:
Hi Carolyn,
Something extraordinary happened today that I need to share with you.
I just received your DVD and your book this Tuesday. I looked at the DVD and started to read the book at home and while sharing spaces. (What an exciting life you have with horses).
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I have a question for Madeleine relating to a horse she mentioned back in February:
“At our barn, there is a 17 hand big 4 year old gelding. He is pushy, bully, has no respect for its owner. He keeps snapping and nipping its owner from the moment he is out of his box until she is on its back or put him back in its stall. He is a handful. She tried everything, followed everyone suggestions and she is still stuck with the same problem if not, more intense.”
That describes my horse except for the height…did the pushy, bully dominant issues get resolved and if so, how? Would love to read Carolyn’s thoughts re dealing with that type of horse as well (if you have time, Carolyn).
Thank you,
Michelle
Such a great discussion! I just moved my boy Romeo to a new Ranch where he has green-pasture turnout for 2 hours a day, so Carolyn’s methods and observations of herd behavior have been invaluable. I think it’s the first time ever for Romeo that he’s being given the chance to truely interact with other horses at liberty. (I’ve had him 2 of his 16 years and before that he lived in barn stalls as a Western Pleasure Show horse, fairly isolated from the other horses).
The owner of the property and I have been spending time with everyone (there are 3 seperate pastures), mixing the combinations up to see who will work best as pasture mates. It has been fascinating to observe all the Waterhole Rituals being played out by the mares and geldings as they establish social order amongst their little herd of 6. Thanks to the last year of applying Carolyn’s methods with Romeo, he sees me as his friend, confidante and leader, but he has also fallen in love with one of the mares, so our relationship is going through a natural adjustment. I have found it invaluable to follow Carolyn’s perspective of taking the time to take the time, and to apply the methods on a daily basis, remaining flexible in my thinking and dialed into Romeo and his needs each day. By doing so, he has come to trust that I will live in the moment-to-moment state of mind that is so essential to him as a horse.
The underlying feelings of safety and trust that have glued our communication together have been simply amazing to experience. Even during this very stressful week, with so many changes and new stimulus since the move last Sunday, we have both been able to rely on our partnership to get us through.
The thing I love so much about Carolyn’s Waterhole Rituals is the state of mind it develops, both in the horse and the human. As important as the methods are, they are also a way to higher consciousness…..a way to learn how to enjoy the journey and establish a telepathic communication with our horses that empowers us to be their absolute best partners.
Thanks for all the wonderful feedback, and Carolyn, as always thanks for being who you are!!
Love,
Debra
Thanks a lot. Waiting for the Waterholee rituals to arrive. I can see how it would be useful with the boss chestnut, but my little guy is very sensitive and I cant see a need to use that on him now. If he plays up in the future then I would use it to take back my authority. He goes through stages, cheeky pony. I have been successful in gaining ground at moving chestnut out of my space to get mine through the gates, in fact he is being very respectful now letting mine come in to his stable to eat and waiting for his own mum. Cant do too much with him though as he isnt mine. Thanks for the explanation I am one of those that does what suits at the time. I chase him off if he has bitten me, but not as a game. Though that may change in the future. I could try doing it gently as a game for him and see how he responds.
WOW! there is so much to learn. I need more time. Thanks Debi
Dear Karen,
I do understand your point.
Hopefully when I can get my book out on the Waterhole Rtuals these questions will be cleared up.
I am glad you brought up the rude aspect.
It is important to use the Rituals as you see their importants to your need and your horse’s need to bring the conection to perfection. Everyday you must adjust the partnership to have the right energy to be able to work with your horse well.
The Rituals are like paint for an artist.
A artist only uses the colors as he needs them.
Taking terrioty is a game that horses play everyday and they seem to enjoy the game. It is how you do the game that makes the diffrence if you are going to offend your horse or not. But if you do offend your horse because he is at liberty and is not cornnered he will forget it and forgive you quickly. We have friends that are rude and we forgive them because life is like that.
Put food down in an arena all over in many diffrent spots. If the horse is not aware of you then you chase him off his spot. If he looks at you then can not chase him off he spot, you then need to leave him alone for awhile and walk around in the area like a happy camper and then see if you can, after 5 minuets or so, catch him off gard. That is the game horses play that creat unity order and bonded relatiships as well as a language builder.
This Ritual is used by horses on horses that do not take responsibility in fitting in, not paying attention to the possible of being driven away by another horse or are aggresive.
It is like musical chairs. Remember what is rude to us in our culture is not rude in the horses culture. Horses keep aggresive pursuit to a short spurt with long happy moments in between.
do not use the rituals because their are there. When you see the value in useing them then they could support your cause to deepen the connection performance and bond. You can experment and not really do any damage in the relatiship with your horse if you do not persiste with them and seek help when it does not work.
The only Rituals that are a must is the first two.
I find that each horse will need a diffrent formula of application of the Rituals, in the same way they are applied by horses in nature.
We can be kinder when using them than some horses because we are looking for the bond and connection. I suggest to people you use them like a caretaking Mare with her foal or a lead stallion who’s focus is for the good of the community or a stallion who courts a mare in a smart and loving way.
Attitude is imporntat.
I have found that people who have well adjusted children and a well trained happy long living dog and are loved by thier community and puts others people’s feeling first can easily use the rituals to be of great benifit. Social sava, leadershp ability and common sense are all valuable tools. Ofcourse one needs to be really comfortable with creativity building connections. For thoses who do not have these natual skills or those who really want personal coaching they can learn easily by working directly with me because using the Rituals will build these skills easily.
Hope this is of help.
Isnt taking space and leading from behind very simiilar. We do leading from behind everyday going to and from the pasture at liberty. Why would I need to do taking space as well which seems to be a more aggressive way of saying get out of my way, as he already gets out of my way. I can understand why one of the other horses with us would need it as he wont move out of your way, but mine does? I think he would see this as me being rude.
Karen
I have been lucky enough to own a lead mare. Many times I have allowed her to be used as the instructor of manners for horses that start to get aggressive or to introduce to the herd. I did notice through the years that if I had a strong bond with another horses owner or the horses were all mine that the group bonded at the same level of our friendship. Almost like the horses were reading the vibration of our friendship. Just something interesting to note. Anyway back to the lead mare. She is a master at this waterhole ritual , About 2 months ago my friend moved into the same barn I’m at. She has a dominant mare. I told her that I would ask Charisma to befriend her and introduce her to the group. We first had them stalled next to each other for a few hours. Then brought them out to the indoor on leads. My girlfriends horse was quite aggressive squealing and striking. I noticed Charisma wasn’t fazed by this behavior. This behavior continued , but also lessened some but I knew holding them on leads wasn’t allowing them to totally interact. We then let them lose in the ring. Charisma realized that this mare would not stop the aggressive behavior of striking, so she started to walk the mare from behind. The mare would walk some and then get mad and kick , but Charisma kept her head and face just out of kick distance but did not back off. Charisma was very calm and focused. She kept pushing from behind and I realized that was a good sign, when the new mare would walk forward and give up her space. A few times the new mare became to aggressive , by repeatedly kicking and squealing,my mare would turn around and kick back with a message of now your going to far Charisma would not connect physically but the message was clear. The new mare would take off and get the message that she might need to respect Charisma’s space. This sequence went on a few times. but they eventually ended up out in pasture eating together. Charisma still got the bigger pile and would move her off the hay if she wanted it. By the next day the new mare would whinny for Charisma and not want to be separated, Magnetic bond. My mare completed all the ritual’s in a day. What a teacher .
The funny thing is that I got Carolyns ritual CD a few weeks later as validation to what I had witnessed and the words to go along with the experience.
Once again, thank you Carolyn. What you said was wonderful and I am going to revisit the DVD (for the umpteenth time), think about what you said and really watch what both I and he are doing to see if there is something I am missing. But what I REALLY love about you is that you really don’t tell us just to learn the method and that one cure fits all. You tell us to go with our hearts and with that we rarely falter and that is very empowering and honoring. Thank you! The more I think I know the more I know I don’t!
Dear Robyn,
In the cultor of horses as I pointed out in my book Chapter called Leaders of Leaders horses use leading from behind for may purposes. the larger purpose is that for horses to servive in a herd the horses in back must have a right of way of they would not be able to travel in unity fast and slow by the influane or lack of influance of the hroses behind them.
Leading for behind is a riutal that horses use on a new horse as a way to establish balance in the community. It gains sumission as well as trust and a closer connection with out a fight. Lead Stallions use this ritual to gather their mares.
What you were doing is following and if when your horse stops and you would suggest that he should move forward it should be the natural response of the hrose to more forward in this moment you are leading but as soon as he is moving you are following and that is the process of leading from behind most of the time you are following closley with out influance were you have worked out the team work just like horses must learn to do with one another. If a horse will not allow this it is a sign that the bond is still not close enough.
All your work that you are doing as far as I am concerned is the true art of horsemanship. You are going out and find out what life as to offer and interacting with and allowing what occures to be your teacher. that is all that I did.
I really love were every one is going on thier own adventrues of conneciton and intrest in horses as a cultor and educator.
Thank you for sharing,
Carolyn
Hi there,
Thanks to everyone for their responses, this is such a great discussion. Carolyn yes, I have your DVD and your book “Naked Liberty.” I spend a LOT of time just sharing space which he loves. The companion walk, the eye contact, most of the rituals that I feel he needs he does very well, even leading from behind on-line. It is the go-trot where his emotions overcome him and he ceases to lose the capacity to think at times, and the leading from behind or me being anywhere but right next to him or in front of him when we are out and about in emotionally challenging circumstances that he just can’t seem to even be capable of thinking unless I am constantly diverting his attention to me or reassuring him or giving him something to do to maintain an even level of emotion. I should do the leading from behind at liberty more (in the controlled environment of his paddock?) Even in the paddock he will play this game for hours (he is an Arab, great stamina), and gets so high that I am afraid he will hurt himself. I try to make my energy really low but he just takes off full-pelt. He is so smart that if he responds to something once and is not corrected he thinks that is the response I ALWAYS want from him so tries to please me by continuing that response…..which in this game is running away from me. I really want to understand the philosophy behind this so that I can make intelligent choices for his best benefit and safety…..and mine of course. Until I do I have to stick with what my heart says will honor him and keep him safe but I really do want to expand my toolkit and I know there have to be others who have similar hunger to understand. And I know you are so limitted for response on a blog so whatever you have to offer Carolyn will be so greatly appreciated.
Hi Carolyn,
Yesterday something happened that was so incredible. I went out into the pasture and just sat on a rock. The horses looked up when they saw me, but went back to eating. My horse, Lucky, came over to me. I didn’t say anything as he was approaching because I was feeling a little sad (one of the horses in the pasture had just been put down that morning). I stood up and said, “hi”. He turned around and he lead me to the gate (or I guess I lead him from behind to the gate). It happed again today. It is so cute because he will stop and I stop. He sort of turns his head to see what I’m going to do. I just wait and then he continues walking to the gate. I think he likes me following him. Should I be thinking that I am leading him from behind instead of following? Does it matter what I’m thinking? Hope I’m not getting off track. Anyway, we were connected. That felt good. Dee
Dear Robyn,
Do you have my DVD? If you do I can coach you better.
Leading from behind is done with out tack at liberty with out any goals. When he runs off just walk slowly and when you get to him ask him to leave you and then follow. Soon he will slow down. It will take the fear right out of our horse. Food on the ground can also slow him down.
Nicole,
When your horse faces you walk toward his face using my reed and swishing it back and fourt like a metal detector and then when he faces you and he does not move disturb an the air around his space and use your body langage and hand as if you were trying to shoo baby chicks back to the hen house. If we does not move keep it up untill he turns away then follow him, when he stops wait a momnet and they start over.
He may only move because he got tired of standing there but he will learn in a short if you have a good relationship in communiction with your horse. Just wait him out. May of you are in too big of a hurrry and wanting quick results.
For my readers,
I do have alot written in my blog on this leading from behind in detail but I do not know were it is myself.
I do not have the time for everyone and I want to help those first who have my material and are progressing with it.
People who are not doing well with the method need direct guidance because you can upset your horse or numb your horse or make him too sensitve or any number of problems from not enough explination from me or that you need more skill in understanding the nature of horses to stay safe.
I do not want anyone to get hurt or hurt their horse or make the relationship worse. The best rule of thumb is if it works easy for you and you can understand the reason and purpose and how to use them that a horse would enjoy use them. If you are not working with the Rituals in the way they were meant to be applied they may be of no benifit untill you can study directly with me.
My eye contact ritual is not the same as any other method.
The Rituals are to be a warm up to be applied in a way that develops the respct focus connection work ethic mood energy to be balanced to the work you will be doing with him for the day.
Go trot makes for fast responses and better gas pedal and brake as a warm up. Companion walking is a test to see what is working for you and want is not.
Sharing territory build the bond. Hello buids the trust. leading from behind build a work ethic for the day.
They are to be used to creat just the right responses in your horse as a daily warm up. They are to be used to develop a language you can share with your hrose. They are to be used to deepen the bond and improve your horses ovr all perfromance. they are to be use to develop your horsemanship skills.
My skills are always growning from there use.
Because I use them for years I can go to wild horses in nature and develop a connection with them in a short time beacsue the horses respond to me as if I was a lead horse they way to get to know.
When your seasoned they are fast but not for the begining use of them are they to be thought of as a quick fix but rather a very slow process and they then can work.
Some times I spend with some horses weeks just sharing territory.
and for that time when I start the next riutals it is if they are completly trained with no practice at all for the bond of sharing territory.
You need to follow your instencts.
Hope this is of help
I would like to share my experince to with the rituals for my 8 month old Warmblood filly (with a grown up attitude!). She was a surprise birth (long story) but she literally had a huge attitude from day 1! Kicking, pinning her ears, biting and it escalated. She was rough even with her mom! I had handled her lightly because I don’t like to do too much with them at this age, but she was getting dangerous and when she got her own food she was an ogre around it. I decided to start the rituals and the change has been awesome. We are now friends and she accepts my leadership. I haven’t done all of them (because of her age) , but what I did worked really well. Especially the around the food now she is so polite.
Thanks Farah
Hi Carolyn,
Thanks for the great post!!
Robyn, I think you are wise to listen to what your horse is telling you he needs.
I love everyones questions and comments. I don’t know what Carolyn will say Robyn, but I have heard her say many times,”That if it doesn’t feel right in your heart, then follow your heart “.
Hi Nicole, I think it is HUGE and great that your horse turns and looks at you. Just take it real slow. Each day ask for a little more. that is just my thoughts.
so glad you all are writing in.
June
I also have a question about leading from behind that may be answered somewhere I haven’t seen yet. I’ve attempted a little of the leading from behind but my horses regularly turn and look at me when I approach. If I try to send them in front of me they will go, then turn and look at me as I approach. In areas they tend to wander in, like the pasture with grazing, they still turn to look at me. Is my body language wrong? Is my approach wrong? I would love more information on this ritual as I believe it will open many doors for me and my horses. I have the Rituals DVD and the book but unfortunately haven’t had a whole lot of time with them yet. Maybe my questions will be answered in one of those and I just haven’t seen it yet, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask it here just in case.
I still have questions about leading from behind. Outside of the paddock in scary cirumstances my horse is very impulsive and sometimes fearful if I lead him from behind, i.e. have him go first. But if I go first as a brave leader, then he is much more relaxed and seems very happy that I am “in charge” (or else maybe just the first for the “bear” to eat perhaps.) It seems in my observation of herds, the lead mare will sometimes lead from behind but then sometimes she runs to the front and leads them and they are very happy to follow. Carolyn your input? I am discovering that my horse is a rather insecure fellow and the more boundaries I can give him the happier he is. If I allow him too much liberty he seems to become overwhelmed at the choices and ceases to be able to rationally think about going anywhere for safety, he just reacts by getting himself completely worked up either in fear or in “play” fear but the result is the same. But when I go back to providing boundaries, asking him to do very specific tasks and showing him when he has gotten it right or wrong he calms right down and THEN is very happy to stay with me on-line or off. I am thinking that it comes down to what my horse is telling me he needs, irrespective of methodology or philosophy, etc. Comments?
Thank you Carolyn for your encouragement and answering my questions. I am discovering a fascinating new world because of you.
Today I did an experiment with the 1st ritual. At our barn, there is a 17 hand big 4 year old gelding. He is pushy, bully, has no respect for its owner. He keeps snapping and nipping its owner from the moment he is out of his box until she is on its back or put him back in its stall. He is a handful. She tried everything, followed everyone suggestions and she is still stuck with the same problem if not, more intense. Unfortunately for the horse, he lived its first 2 years alone in a field and now enclosed in a box. When she puts him with another horse he is extremely playful. She is afraid this will increase its tendency to play with her the same way.
She wanted to start Parelli 7 games but I suggested your Rituals instead. I did not know how to start the 1st ritual with him because honestly I am afraid of him and I do not feel comfortable sitting in a chair with him loose around me.
I decided to start with him in its box with me standing at the door. First, I let him smell me through its stall bars. I opened the door and pet him on the nose. I stood there. He came, smelled me and pulled my jacket. I jumped and yelled like mad. He jumped at the far side of its stall, looked at me stunned and went back to its hay. He came back slowly and smelled me and nipped at my hand. I did the same thing but not as loud. He went back to its hay. I shut the door for a minute. I came back, opened the door, he looked away. I closed the door again. I opened the door and he kept staring at me. I gave him a carrot. I observed the way he took the carrot: he was polite and took it as a gift not as if stealing it from me. I stood there and he smelled me all over my face, I was a bit tensed. I was afraid he would bite my face. He was very nice and soft about it. Then he went back to its hay. I said Hello and gave him a carrot again. I asked the owner to do the same thing and she had to yell and jump, he left her alone. When he came back, he did not snap her.
It lasted no more than 10 minutes. I will continue to do the same thing in the next few days. I hope next week to do the 1st Ritual in the arena. I will probably be standing with a whip in case he is no longer listening to my jumps and yells. I will try not to focus on him. If it’s going well I may add Say Hello and Leading from behind. This boy is a big challenge but I think the Rituals are the only way to get more respect in a safe environment for both the horse and ourselves. Thank you Carolyn for such a great tool.
I haven’t read “The Watehole Rituals” as of yet – seems like I would like to after reading this thread. I’ve read “Naked Liberty” and enjoyed it alot.
Leading from behind seems big to me. Since I took up to leading my horse into his stall from behind I’ve seen many changes in him – it seems to be such a simple thing, but no so simple to a horse. I find when I am tending to somebody else’s horse that doesn’t lead from behind and I try to lead them back into their stall they are very confused at first and don’t like it but I much prefer to lead a horse into his stall or any type of doorway/gate than to be in front of the horse because of the atttitude shift coming from the horse. I also practice a focus exercise (one I learned from another excellent horseperson) every once in a while with my horse when he needs it. These two things alone have contributed to my horse being excellent when walking through an arena gate or just hand walking him. I sometimes think our long walks are more fun than riding now.
I enjoyed Madelaine’s letter and your response, Carolyn, and I look forward to reading your book.
Regards,
Pam
It is magical!!
” I felt we were both so in tune and in harmony. I rode for 15 minutes only, maybe less, it was too good I had to acknowledge it by giving her the ultimate pressure release (dismounting), treats and hugs.”
For me Madeleine, this was one fo the most lovely part to read!!
This is such a great summary of the Waterhole Rituals and when to use or not to use them. Thanks Carolyn
!