You must become your horses mind. It sounds inviting enough and it takes a lot of consideration to get to this point. If the First Ritual has not been utilized properly, the rest of the Rituals will not be built on a strong enough foundation.
Your horse will not see the relationship that you are sharing with him as an intimate and personally growing relationship that has meaning and purpose. The first Waterhole Ritual besides developing a deep bond and a feeling of bliss with a horse has many purposes. From practicing the first Ritual, your communications with horses will be better understood. This is very important in your ability to dance at liberty with your horse.
Your body language will have more effect as well as to create a magnetic connection without even thinking about it. You will strengthen the core energy you were born with. Through territory sharing using the first Waterhole Ritual, your core strengthens from your intent to strengthen it. Without your intent, you have a big chance that your core will not be strengthened. The intent therefore is most important.
Your core is the substance you were born with, that gives you the ability to know how to survive, communicate and learn without being taught by others. It has the ability to problem solve and the know how to create bonds. When your core has been strengthened, you then can use your core to guide, direct and speak to you without the need of a coach to develop a relationship and dance with most horses you meet. Using the intent to strengthen your core by sitting with your horse will give you the skill you want to have with your horse on your own and it’s a mastery you will acquire without effort or practice. You will know how to communicate clearly with your horse and how to develop your horse’s desire to learn and dance in a partnership for anything that your horse is well suited for.
The journey is the reward, the desire for the goal starts the journey.
Do you remember the dance that Stina videoed between Panadero and me on my last YouTube video? No matter how wonderful it looked or how interesting to the viewer, I can tell you there are no words to explain my reward from the moments I shared with him from the connection and the dance. Panadero enjoyed the experience as much as I did and the unity was completely shared between us. It came from a core energy that leads the dance in both of us. There was no plan in my direction of Panadero. My direction of him came from leading, supporting and following the courtship that unfolded while we were dancing. But it could have never taken place if our core energy had not guided us.
On Thursday, I will share a story with you to show how valuable core energy is as a communication tool.
Till then
Carolyn
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Hi Carolyn:
I’ve been quietly enjoying your ideas for a while.
Like many people, I’ve loved the idea of quiet time with my horses but haven’t always had the discipline to actually allow the “emptiness” as an earlier poster so beautifully described it, take over. (Got to love that monkey mind!)
A little over a month ago, I had some surgery that has forced me to slow down. I’ve been frustrated, as it threw a wrench (I thought) into my rhythms with my young filly, as I’ve not been able to do much with her or my gelding.
Last night, however, I was walking with my girl with my arm thrown over her back and it struck me that we’ve become so much closer during this time because I couldn’t demand anything from her. We both have a relaxed affection for one another that is new.
This is so exciting! We are giggling together these days…
So, I wouldn’t necessarily suggest surgery for anyone, but I did find the gift in not being able to be so goal oriented. It reaps amazing dividends.
Three days ago, my new horse came to the barn, and I’ve spent the time since he came sitting with him in his pasture, getting to know him, and talking to him. I knew that he was the right horse for me when I first went to visit him; his personality appealed to me and I could feel the beginnings of a bond. That is my feeling of core energy – being able to sense the horse’s being and developing an awareness of his desires. When I sit with him, he comes over to me, nibbles at my clothes, and if I move to a different spot, he’ll usually follow me. Understanding what he’s feeling is coming easily to me, but it’s more difficult for me to try to communicate what I”m feeling and what I want. Will simply more time sitting with him strengthen the mutual core energy and bring out an instinct in me to know how to work with him? Also, after sitting for a while, having him follow me, and going back to reading my book and minding my own business, he’ll get bored of standing there sniffing me and wander off to eat grass. I don’t feel like I’ve really completed this ritual; I definitely want our bond to be stronger, and I understand that it takes much longer than three days of knowing a horse to develop that, but I’m not sure where to really go with the ritual now. My core energy feels like it’s strengthening when I’m interacting with him, but how is it being strengthened when I’m ignoring him, just reading a book? He’s energetic and curious, and he seems to be wondering, what now? why are you still sitting there? eventually he’ll get bored of me and move on. I don’t really know how to take our relationship, or my core energy, to the next level.
I dance with my Horse with my body(core) but have always had an intense passion coming from her eyes!!! I always kiss her eyes and she lovesit!!! So as we connect she and I are always in tune with our eyes!!! Their is such a deep bond between us I will never be able to put in to words how much I love her but I know she feels it everyday with me and I with her, Thank you for all you do Carolyn!!!!!!
P.S. And i forgot to say, i LOVED the ‘bird bathing’ metaphore! What a wonderful observation because that is exactly it, i have seen them bathing and they preen, and flicker, they are in bliss yet always the beedy little eye aware of all that is around them. It’s a great image to work with…and i might have to pinch it for one of my poems!
For several days Popov didn’t want to connect with me while I was reading a book. When I started to walk, he came to join me. I’ve put the book beside and he immediatly came to me and stayed.
The not doing factor is so wonderfull, it’s the emptyness…
Tine
Si was was sitting today in a field full of buttercups on a chair with my dog sleeping under it and my 2 gorgious horses side by side…Ofcourse the little welsh mare tried to snatch my book from my hands and got an assertive nod away, and ofcourse my scared rescue 4 year old cob sniffed tentifly at me and licked and chewed and stood breathing in my ear for a moment before resuming grazing…Oh!!!! I love horses! This is why i want to be with them…and yes, Ophelia, my gang of traditional equestrian teachers voices always nag me to get on and back my horse, and comment on what a great showjumper he’d make…..but today they left me. Thank you Carolyn, and i can’t wait ti start the circle in September.
The most beautiful and privledged position i found myself in was that my horses simply hung out with me – they even mutual groomed right next to me. And when i walked off to the shed to get the dog some water, they followed me there and back again. It’s like i became part of the herd, as small as it is.
And something happens in the meditation of it all, something really special i cannot put into words. I’m growing as a human being, and Carolyn you are so right when you say that as much as we are aware of our horses deep sensitivity, we somehow forget it in ourselves. this first ritual is a chance for us to not only connect with our horses, but also, connect with something within ourselves as well. It’s something primitive and essential, instictive and goes beyond all knowlede and opens us up into real awareness, to be fully alert and awake, yet at peace, yes, in bliss in fact.
Thank you for your wonderful advice, sorry i sound a bit gushy and romantic but i really felt/feel that way!!
Anne,
Thank you for clearing this up for me. I now see it is your style and that you are letting your fear guide you and that you have years of experiance around horses and have stayed safe. Your record speaks for its’s self.
Keep listening. Just remember never do my method when fear is present. If you wait you will learn to use another side of yourself. I belive you need to listen to it even more.
Kathy,
We will be covering all the Rituals.
Take this time to use it to develop your awarness in the moment and get comfortable with no agend and the pause and the belief the every moment you spend in companion energy is leading to the relationship you are hoping to gain.
Erin, I really agree with you, I had the same experience. My horse was a bit difficult at the beginning but now we have a sort of communication. I know from the body language of my horse how far I can go and I know how my horse will respond to mine. This has made me much more sure, so Anna, there’s hope for you too.
Oh – and I really respected Anne for her honest posts. So often with horses (and people) we put ourselves in danger by not trusting our feelings. And sometimes (with horses) even if there’s no reason to be afraid – the fear we’re bringing to the situation is dangerous in itself (we won’t be able to make the best decisions, and we’ll be sending our horse messages that something’s wrong). I liked Carolyn’s simple suggestion of sitting outside the fence for a while – safer for the person plus they’ll then be sending signals of calmness to the horse.
Hi there,
I really relate to what Becky said – I often find it difficult to spend time doing the things I really want to with horses. I think I have an imaginary peer group of horse riders / instructors, telling me to get on with it, jump on the horse, practice getting bend, work on your transitions, etc … What I really value about being with horses is just Being. This is something that’s been harder to capture as an adult than it was as a child. It’s great to hear about others who value ‘being’ as well as ‘doing’.
Oops, I meant to say the horse could intimidate me quite easily. ( In life I am easily intimidated y powerful people. ) In that place sometimes I did quake in my boots, but if I had been terrified of her I wouldn’t have continued working with her. She was great, sometimes I just didn’t have the courage to step in the arena with her, and she would pick up the lunge whip and I know she wanted to play with me, and sometimes I did and sometimes not. Lily was a great teacher for me., and I had a terrible time moving on.
i definitely would like info on your ‘fear’ private workshops. Something keeps me at this, it is my passion, my greatest fear and my greatest reward!!
I have been sitting with Amber about 5 times a week. When I use the large paddock area, I put down 2 hay piles and sit in the general area of one of the piles. I read a book. Amber eats hay, wanders from pile to pile and, sometimes, wanders by me. Sometimes, she comes very close but does not stop. After she has finished the hay, she stands by the fence looking at her buddies in the pasture.
If I have Amber in the fenced front yard, she eats grass. I sit in a chair, keeping her in site but not close and read. Amber eats grass.
This is our pattern so far. Amber does come to me when I go to the pasture and sometimes will walk beside me to the gate. She seems to like going out into the yard and definitely likes the hay.
I am not in a hurry, but I do think that I will not get much from the entire program if we stay at this pattern. I won’t have any way to practice the other rituals.
Kathy
Thank you for your advice. It is often hard to hear real good advice. We haven’t talked, but I did meet you at the EGE conference at Strozzi ranch a few years ago. I was one of Arianas assistants. Well maybe you remember me, I was the one that asked you how you got your horses to not push you for their treats and you snapped your reed at my hand and i jumped a mile, and everyone laughed. We also met at the dinner, later.
I have been working through this ‘fear’ for many, many years, and I would love to have a conversation about it, but talking does not usually work for me, just time working through stuff works for me. I spent about 3 years working with a horse that terrified me, and if i wasn’t up for being in with her, i didn’t go in the arena, and sometimes we had great times together when it did feel ok.
I always listen to these feelings, even tho i am branded ‘the scaredy cat’ of the barn. i don’t care, because when we do connect we do so gloriously. One of my favorite times is free lunging her. I also work her on the ground, and in this work, where i move her feet, she trusts me, we have come miles in the year I have been part owner of her.
You are intuitively right about her maybe not being the right horse for me. I have connected to 2 Morgans in my riding life, and both of them I connected with deeply, and trusted them completely. I have a goal of owning a horse with this deep connection again. I can’t imagine selling the horse I have now, because she counts on me.
I want to dance with my horse!! On the ground and in saddle. I just love Eitans ‘Cowboy Dressage”.
Thanks for this blog!
Anne, I know what you mean about being a little nervous with a horse so close. If I FEEL a LITTLE nervous, but I know I’m most likely safe, I stay. If the nervous feeling gets too strong and/or my horse feels to pushy (which doesn’t happen) or if another horse is closeby which might either be too close/pushy or may put me in danger of two horses tussling, I get up and ask whichever horse to move away. But! I have gotten so much more confident KNOWING how to use my intention, body language, voice and reed to communicate to the horses exactly when they’ve come too close and KNOW I can keep them at a safe distance with the proper attitude, I rarely get that nervous feeling anymore. It will come for you too!
Anne,
Never do anything that makes you feel fearful. Yoy can and will get hurt. Have I not warned you about this? Please respond.
I feel you do not have enough knowledge of horses at liberty at this time. Have I spoken to you before on this matter?
Your fear is telling me you have the wrong horse and you need a personal with you to guide when to sit and when not to. Fear is a sight you have over faced yourself and you are doing something that is in fact dangerious.
If anyone is frighten stop what you are doing and find a place to be that brings you bliss. Maybe it would be with a fenc between you. When I am afraid to sit I don’t sit because it is the wrong time to sit. When the conntion to strong the fear leaves you and the horse. I find a place that makes sense. You fear is your guide and you do not want to get rid of it ever. That is what horses use to stay safe and survive. You can not expect favors from your horse to take care of you, he could jump in your lap while you are sitting down and really hurt you. My method will not safe you as well. All of these things you are asking is asnwered in the material I have sent to you. You can find it in Anna’s interview. You got to know how to keep yourself safe and you do not know how to do this and this is your problem.
I suggest you take a lesson from me on the phone. I am sure I could clear some things up for us. Or maybe on the next call we can talk. Right now my advise is do not sit any were around your horse that you feel fearful.
I do private clinics on fear and we could get to the bottom of this. The fist thing to relize is fear is good and we need to talk to it and creat a bond of trust and give your fear a job like horses have.
If my letter is not on the right track just discount it untill we can talk. Please do not do the method at this point study the method and ask questions. As things get clear your fear will lessen it real will.
Promise.
Hope this is of help
Becky,
Thank you for seeing the points I am making. It depends on waht you are writing about. What you write must be creative and not a reflection or difficult. The mind must stay in the present and unknowing so you can parctice experiancing life like an animal.
Reading a book for pleasure is a good thing. You want to stay in the wonder. You have no idea what is going to happen next. This is were the mind can match the moment and your intentions. You want you mind in light hearted discoveries like a bird taking a bath.
The bird is completly joyfull and watchfulness at the same time. But diffrent that a bird your body is at rest. and passive.
Our minds are like a bird that is taking the bath and needs a little fun and your horse needs to see that you are occupied to build the draw and the comfort. If you are stressfull the horse can not join you in shairng a joyful connection because of the state of mind you are in.
At this time we do not want to put him to work. We want to put him to joy.
I really love all this questions because it helps to shead more understanding in how to be that is so valuable in being able to communicte with horses clearly.
We alway talk about how sensitve horses and how they can read use and know our intentions but less often do we take that knowledge in refining our own vibrations and focus.
Thank you for sharing
Yesterday I went up and sat with my horse in her pod. I did give her her grass hay pellets first. I didn’t bring a chair or book, but I sat down near her, and took my glasses off. When she came over to me, I was very uncomfortable, it made me very nervous. I was so far down and would not be able to move quickly away if i needed to. I stood up and told her outloud that she made me nervous being so close, and she moved away and looked like she fell asleep. I then sat back down and just was there with her.
Today after a short ride i was grazing her and that same feeling of feeling vulnerable and nervous came over me. I realize that at my core I feel this feeling of ‘no trust’, and it affects me a lot, both when riding and on the ground.
I also have to ask why I would move away from her, instead of asking her to move back from me? If I move, isn’t she then being the leader and pushing me out of her space?
Is that the point? To let her be the leader too?
Has anyone felt nervous in this Ritual? Being so low to the ground with such a big animal so close?
Thanks, Anne.
I believe I understand and experience what you describe here. In a nutshell, I do use my intent to strengthen my core energy and it DOES INDEED function as the messenger/communicator between my horse Oreo and me. (Did you get the photo I sent a few months ago of us dancing the circle dance together?) In the year that we have been playing exclusively at liberty with your Waterholes Rituals as our foundation, along with wonderful examples from Naked Liberty, I know my intention/core energy is steadily increasing. In the beginning, on your dvd, you suggested synchronizing with him if he chose to do his own thing at some point while we were doing somthing else together; I have followed your advice and find that you were right: He does rejoin me and fit “right in my pocket.” You are so right, the journey is the reward! Each day offers new “unfoldings” as you so beautifully put it!
How beautifully explained. Why does it take me so much effort to be still with my horse?! I think maybe we live in a goal orientated society that sometimes prevents us from letting creative energy unfold on it’s own. My horse is terrified of everything, and i think so many times that i can not imagine ever being able to ride him. And yet what i should be doing is imagining us bonding, intending it, sharing space, and not even be thinking about riding! This very thought probably prevents him from deep boning because my intetion is way way down the line, and it needs to be here, in the moment, fully present.
I know yo say reading is good when sharing space, could i write as well? It’s just i’m finishing off a writers masters and maybe i could combine the two thus allowing myself the time and get rid of that niggling feeling that i ought to be doing something physical with my horse…I think i also need to remember that i am doing something with my horse when i’m sharing space…!!
Dear Carolyn,
Thank you for this powerful illustration of the purpose and core of the First Ritual. It has really put it into perspective for me. I have been practicing the First Ritual and have already felt the potential for this connection with my horses and I am so excited. What I’ve experienced so far of the bond feels so amazing and I can see now that this is what I’ve been wanting to experience with my horses for years. And what they have been seeking with me too.
In practicing the first ritual I feel closer to them now than I have ever felt before.
In addition to this creating the opportunity for communication and the dance, within a few session I have already have seen it work wonders with my mare Darma in some of her insecurity issues she was having in her life as a horse, for instance she was afraid to go out of her paddock on her own to graze, and now she is acting more secure and happy than she was, asking to go out to graze happily even when I’m not around. I and my horses Thank You! Kim McElroy