Dec 29th, 2011 by Carolyn Resnick
Learning more about the magic of the co-creative process
Horses are flexible in their attitude and emotions from willing to unwilling, from trusting to fearful, from relaxed to hyper. Basically a horse’s nature is dynamic, cautious and willing. That makes sense, we are a lot like that ourselves. Horses have two changeable behaviors, fluctuating from trusting to not trusting, from social to antisocial… a bit like we are in our own society. They also seek friendship and live in communities and family groups…again a bit like us. When they feel secure and have enough space, food and water, they life in unity and harmony with one another.
Horses are very social, caring, outwardly affectionate and seek unity and harmony with one another most of the time. Once we have formed a deep bond with a horse it will be deeper than the one we can share with our own species. When we share a cross-species bond, the horse shows us how deep our feeling for friendship can be. If we choose to look for this connection with all things our well-being and appreciations for life is enhanced. Then, when we can extend this connection to the people in our life, our life is truly blessed.
If you share a cross-species bond with a horse, it may bring you to a closer connection in all relationships. In most cases the horse did not seek us out, we were attracted to them first. Approaching a horse can cause a horse to feel a bit threatened. I found Sharing Territory and not trying to “make” a connection with a horse creates the opposite response in a horse and brings out the horse’s desire to come bond with us. Try it, the relationship that develops is wonderful even with horses that you may have not been able to reach. I have spent as long as 3 months with a horse to reach him and when he connected the wait was worth it. Waiting for Marchador to connect helped me become aware of a deep happiness I felt was missing. The waiting brought me personal well-being and a friendship with a horse that I was looking for.
Communicating with a horse in moments of harmony to shape their social behavior and desire for our leadership is the key to developing a working bond with a horse. To further develop this relationship with a horse we need to keep the relationship in the present moment, connected and growing. The nature of our relationship with horses is either moving towards better or worse because relationships are dynamic.
When a horse trusts you, he will first try to fit with what you ask of him, before he or she will rebel. You can loose a horse’s first response to fit in with you by a lack of leadership, by not taking on the role of a dependable leader, or by being too demanding.
Giving a horse freedom to accept or reject our leadership builds a strong trust. Horses, as well as humans, do not like to be obligated. By allowing a horse the freedom to respond we can see how to better approach our horse and how to go about handling him in the moment when we are training and riding him. Giving a horse liberty removes force out of the picture and builds more trust.
The Co-Creative Process in Leadership
The secret to getting a horse to follow your lead willingly is to allow him to shape your leadership to be desirable as well as effective. Sometimes my readers can be too lenient and allowing with a horse which will cause a horse to not want their company or leadership. Developing your relationship with horses in the training of horses is a co-creative process and takes experimentation so you can figure out when to allow and when to not allow. Leadership can be and should be a kind of refuge for a horse rather than a leadership they cannot avoid and limits and exercises limits must be maintained. You are always the ultimate leader with horses and in your life. This way you keep your dignity and personal power. When people and horses are not in harmony with one another it comes from being too demanding or they lack taking responsibility for leadership.
Because horses can be trained though force quickly it is very tempting to use force. But one’s personal power is diminished by depending on force. Force is not the way to gain personal power. If you have worked it out with a horse to the point of being able to create a magical dance without force you will develop a greater personal power that will serve you throughout your life. It is essential to your personal well-being to learn how to dance with a horse without force.
If I have confused you or you just do not know when to lead and when to allow, from this new way of being with horses, please come join my next online course. Starting April 15th, 2012 in the Waterhole Rituals Online Program, I will walk you step by step to a dancing at liberty with horses starting from a cross-species bond of friendship. Click here to learn more about the Insider Circle Program.
If you want to go it alone with the support of my blog and dvds, your answers will magically appear from waiting for your horse to come to you and bond. If you are looking for inspiration as you begin Sharing Territory you may wish to watch the “Waterhole Reflections” dvd. As the relationship grows so will your understanding on when to pause, when to lead, when to ask your horse to give you room, and when to give your horse room. Learning these things will deepen the bond and build the training of your horse.
In the Waterhole Rituals Insider Circle class, I guide you and your horse step by step taking into account your needs and your horses personality so you have a personalized approach when learning to create a dance with your horse. The Waterhole Rituals Method of training a horse at liberty will help you create a deep meaningful bond with your horse, or a maximum performance horse for competition AND anything between. It truly is the Foundation for All Equestrian Pursuits.
Being the one responsible for developing a whole-hearted connection with your horse is a joy not to be missed. From your journey of developing a willing and working bond with your horse you will also gather skills and understandings to win the support of others in helping you create your own dreams and well-being. You will also begin to naturally know how to support other to their dreams. You may feel there has been something missing in your relationships with people and by learning how to develop a cross-species bond with your horse you will be able to turn those relationships around. You will begin to find a sense of trust and loyalty filling your heart with well-being that you can depend on whenever you need it.
Happy New Year! Watch out for more new horse and human sightings and may the horse be with you,