Waterhole Rituals question
Nov 27th, 2008 by Carolyn Resnick Method
When training a horse, there is always a gap between the theoretical and the practical and this can be very frustraing . My advice for this is pretty much always that more time is needed. I can’t overstate the beautiful simplicity of the first Ritual as a preparation for the rest.
So, today’s blog post features a question by one of my loyal readers Norman, who writes:
I have been having trouble with the Rituals. My horses just aren’t reacting as I expected. During the first Ritual, my pony won’t come up to me again after I move the chair away. I can’t sneak up on any of them for the third Ritual. They always seem to be aware of everything around them. Should I chase them anyway? They never stop when I stop during the fourth Ritual. I don’t know how long I should keep walking after them. I don’t want them to resent me because I’m doing it wrong. Your Method is exactly what we need, it’s just frustrating that I can’t do it right.
*** To read the rest of this post, get Carolyn’s Blog Collection Volume 1 ***
Click the image above for more details
No related posts.
Hi Carolyn. In your water hole rituals dvd, you talk about how to
begin communication and leadership with a dominant and shy horse, but
didn’t talk about what do with a leader. My guy can be dominant one
second and then if i am too hard on him, then he gets fearful. He
comes to me 99% of the time, especially if I have no expectations as
he is curious about what i might have for him. Its like hes always
trying with me, But I’m not getting it to further the bond with him.
Pls help. He’s an awesome horse and I’d like to bond closer and learn
to communicate better with him.
I can’t believe I’ve found this site, it makes perfect sense now, but over the years I always thought I was the weird one. I always wondered why other riders could just ‘show up’ for their lesson, ride, then quickly untack, put their horse back in the stall and go home. This just didn’t seem to have any connection for me. I prefered to groom, talk, fuss etc. and didn’t know then that I was trying to connect.
I’m going to enjoy this path.
Thanks
Gail
Dear Carolyn and fellow horse lovers,
Yesterday I was at the barn with my 2 horses Cruise (3 yo TWH) and Jimmy (7 yo Missouri FT), feeling sad and stupid and like I’d made a terrible, terrible mistake in becoming a horse owner because I don’t know enough to do them justice. Walking around their turnout area, I felt an urge to take a chair out there and just sit with them (which I didn’t do because it seemed kind of odd). Then today I found this website. And discovered that sitting with your horses is a ritual that I can do to bond more closely with them! Amazing! I’ve ordered the Waterhole Rituals DVD and am really looking forward to learning more. Maybe it’s not such an impossible dream after all…
Love to you all and thank you for the sharing and inspiration- Christine
Dear Carolyn and readers,
I especially enjoyed this blog dialog because I think it addresses so many of us who seek harmony with our equine friends. I am continuously humbled and reminded by my horse Romeo when I realize that his agenda isn’t always my agenda. I’m not so sure he really has an agenda other than living moment to moment. It is when I am most fixated on applying the wonderful things I have learned about herd behavior and the Waterhole Rituals that I loose sight of the here and now. My intentions are good, but my mind isn’t really focused on the present. And of course, those are the times when Romeo withdraws from me. He much prefers my energy when I am completely focused on right here, right now. It is a challenge for our human minds which love to multi-task, think forward, create expectations and make judgements! I have found there is a creative balance between knowing what I’d like to have happen and accepting what actually does happen when it comes to my time with Romeo. I try to remind myself that for him, time with me is delicious, no matter what we are doing as long as the love and the connection are there. That’s not to say that he doesn’t have opinions, because he does! But I am finding that by being patient with myself and with him, I am discovering a whole new perspective. The days when I just sit with him in his corral and completely tune into his world…the sounds of the birds, the weather, the other horses and all the noises and movements they make, the smells all around, the essence of his environment….those are the days when I come away feeling like I’m really connected to my horse. Even if there was minimal physical contact with him, by entering into his realm I have given him the gift of my time and my attention. He in return, has given me the gift of remembering how the very simple things can bring such peace and beauty to my mind and heart. I’ve come to realize that my expectations and persistent, humanistic need to have things organized and planned out will always be there waiting for me if I need them! Why not, instead take pleasure in the Equine state of mind. It is, perhaps a far more enlightened place to be!
Debra
Dear Norman, thank you for sharing your experiences,
I have had the same feeling too and then more time is needed.
Try to enjoy stepping “backwards”, for example you have reached ritual no 4 or 5 and then you feel you are getting nowhere.
Go back to sharing territory on a sunny day, where you can enjoy the rays on your cheeck or in the night when you can watch the starts in the sky and enjoy the sounds of the nature.
If its winter where you live and cold, i can imagine warm clothes, stay inside the stable or riding house, play some music you like, bring some good tea, enjoy the moment.
Try to enjoy not doing anything, try to enjoy having your mind not set on a goal, just being.
As you can read in the natural horse magazine this month we have an article in where Carolyn commented my patience, after reading Naked Liberty I sat in my chair for hours and days waiting for the “magic” to occur and it did.
I wish you all the best in the process – Love from Stina
Think of all the hours in a day a horse has to accept being alone against his will and then we come along and want him to party. We have all experienced some time in our lives our animals snubbing us because we broke our expected relationships with them. But you might feel the same way yourself if the roles were reversed.
I remember seeing a film on animals that had been denied water in dry weather condition. When it began to rain the animals stood there in a stupor for several days. Then after the initial response they began to celebrate, playing and leaping in the air like children. I never forgot the sight. We need to be patient. When a horse comes to our center to be rebilitated it can take weeks, sitting every day most of the day with them but when the breakthrough happens it is like magic. To be in the moment and be accepted, we need to be willing to take the time in the pause.
Carolyn
Don’t we all recognize Norman’s experiences somehow
? I surely do, even though it has been a while since I felt this frustration while being around my horses.
!
Doesn’t it all revolve around expectations and intentions, or better: the absence of them? It’s my experience that every time things go wrong between me and my horses, it’s my expectations that caused it. Not being in the present, not being able to release the murmur in my head… and then, of course, my horses just mirroring that.
I, for myself, find the release of expectations the most challenging lesson offered to me by my horses. I will happily keep on practicing
Dear Carolyn,
Once again you are right on time !
Last night I wanted to spend time sitting in my Ani’s (my horse) stable. It has been a while, the wheater is grey & cold and being outside or in the stable is not really pleasant (mostly because of my health). But he was just standing there with his behind my way
and his head into his friends (small cute pony) stall. I tried to relax and try a bit of meditation, but I must have been a regular ‘tornado head’ (Linda Kohanov – ‘Riding between the worlds’) because I absolutely didnt succeed. Instead I was a bit sad because my horse didnt want to interact or stand near me. And here comes your timely post and I feel absolutely stupid and “caught”. As soon as I read your post, I thought: I KNEW that – how could I forget ?
I guess that Im just a human and I still sometimes get caught up in
my ‘false self’ instead of just being present.
I just received the books by Linda Kohanov that I ordered from Amazon, uk. Cant wait to start reading the other books !
Sadly we dont really have Thanksgiving in Denmark. I tried to incorporate it into my family but somehow it just didnt catch on. But I will have my own Thanksgiving (just a few of us), because I think that it is a beautiful tradition. So Thank You Carolyn, June for your input and all other Carolyn Blogg reader/writers.
Tonnya
Dear June,
Thank you for sharing your expericance with the first Rutal. What you are experiancing is what I hoped for people to experiance. With out any interaction the bond is able to gorw from your presents and staying in the moment with out agenda. At this time a celuar conntion is developing the bond deeper and deeper. I am sure that if you do not see it in your horses you can feel it in yourself and if this is so your hores have the same feeling even if they do not show it.
Thank you for your response
Carolyn Resnick
Dear Carolyn and fellow readers,
I just finished reading Naked Liberty as recommended by a friend/horsewoman who comes and helps me from time to time with my two horses. She had been to Return to Freedom last year and that is how she was introduced to your methods. I am 48 yrs. old and new to horses (3 yrs.) . I love reading your blog and feel so blessed that you are sharing your knowledge. I am starting from scratch with my horses using your methods. Sharing territory has been so fun and good for me to let go of all agendas. I never had any great ambitions for myself and horses other than a good relationship.However, I would feel guilty if I didn’t go spend time with them and “do something” with them (TTeam,TTouch etc..).Even if I would visit them just to say hello and give treats, I would be thinking of the past, future, instead of being in the moment, enjoying everything around me. From the beginning I have been very interested in how horses communicate with each other and how they read our bodies. Listening to your interview on IN HORSE HAROMONY (Episode 1,2,3)was extremely helpful and would recommend this to all your followers/readers. (I will be ordering your DVD’s soon).The first time I did the 1st ritual, sharing territory, I went with my book Naked Liberty, a blanket, and water out to there pasture. It is about 3 acres. I sat about 100 ft. from them in some bushes. It didn’t take long before they came to check me out. The mare sniffed the blanket and me then stood by close grazing. Her name is Lacey , a 18 yr.old QZ Bay. Very easy going but can be pushy. The gelding came and stood on the blanket practically over me, so I sat up. He played with my hair till I finally moved him away. He never went far and kept wanting to play with my hair. He can be distant, dominant, and is in general a sceptic. A lot of self-preservation. He is about 22 yrs.old and a line back dun. He is having a flare-up right now of arthritic hips and hocks (accupuncturist and chiropractor coming soon to help) and so I’ve haven’t wanted to ask to much of him. I saw his closeness and attention as a wonderful gift. Yes, he may have been showing some dominance but we’ll work on this later when he is feeling better.The second time I shared territory, I sat about 100 ft from them again as they stood napping. After about an hour, I took a small bite of a carrot in my pocket. I tried to be very careful to not make any noise. Well, here they came. I shared the carrots and then left, as I had an appt. The third time I went out, they never came over and I felt it was ok and a good sign that they were excepting my presence and not seeing it as an invasion . I also think the curiosity they had the first time had worn off. Thank you so much!!!! I also want to thank you readers who write in and share your thoughts and experiences.
Blessings,
June