my question is about a colt who doesn’t seem to know politeness even to the other horses in his herd. he doesn’t move away fast enough for either of the others, so ends up with bites all over him, and i watch his timing which always is too slow. he doesn’t read any initial threat like ears back or threatening look in his direction.

i think he was over handled as a baby and weaned too early and never learnt the ‘rules of the game’ from human or horse. he came to me spooky and distrustful, and he is also on the shy side, so i’ve been working on building up his confidence and encouraging some cockiness which is working!! almost all sharing territory still and leaving him with the herd to help him out.

he has definitely become sweet and connected in my space and has great relaxed sleeps behind me sometimes lying down. i’m worried he may be kind of brain damaged from his early life, and may never learn to really respond and connect in instant timing like my other 2. he certainly doesn’t move very fast out of my space either and it makes me feel untrusting.

any thoughts?
thankyou,
robyn (in new zealand after a long break)

As you had suggested I’m trying to call you, but perhaps it will take a few tries before our schedules sync up.

On the trail of the missing whinny (as I posted on another post, that my horse has ceased to whinny at me, whereas he used to do it heartily and every time returned from anywhere back into his sight), you write: Ask yourself could I stop my horse’s approach if I had carrots in my hand and would he leave me alone? Could I ask him to leave the area and not come back so that he would not return? Could I ask him to move away from me quickly? Could I enter the horse’s space and ask him to leave and he would? If he can do that, he has respect for you and he is being polite and likes you. Exercising how to move around each other in a polite way is the key to a horse’s heart.

So I wanted to find out. I took some carrots out in a pan and put them where he would have tons of room to run around without violating my prescribed boundaries. I made him stay about 20 feet back from the carrots with the reed. A couple of times he took a tiny step over my declared line, and when I stamped my foot he took those steps backward to adjust. I can not say he stopped facing my way or lost interest, but he rigidly held the distance I required of him.

I spoke nicely to him then, approached him, and we companion walked to the carrots. After a little bit I stepped away from his heart area, told him I was about to run him off (his eyes were on me), said “and..” the way I do when I cue him, and then said shoo and drove him off with the reed. He tore out ex post haste, about back to my previous 20 foot line. After maintaining that distance a few minutes, I went to get him and companion walk him back to the carrots, and he very nicely came along, ears forward. I made him stop eating a couple of times, and he was polite about it.

When I later fed him, he wanted to give my hand a kiss before eating. I think I’ve been lax about boundaries in some ways. I hope I’m going in the correct direction.

It seems I can answer yes to all your questions based on this experience. If I’m failing to observe something, please let me know.

To repair your problem you need to never do that again and set with your horse for the next month more or less, her behavior will let you know when you have repaired the connection. You can go ahead with your regular programs but the only way you are going to make it up with her with my method is to grow your warness it how to be and how to create a optimistic attitude in your horse. Sitting with your horse for long periods will help to repair the past. Sitting with our horse you will gain knowlege naturally in how to be and you perception in how to behave with horses to creat trust and optimistic attitdue will come.
YOu job now is to work on helping your horses to be happy.

When I arrived, he was napping in the pasture with another horse. So sweet, I haven’t seen him this relaxed in this group in a long time. I wandered out very quietly at a far distance around him to take some pictures, not to disturb him. I just enjoyed the peacefulness and then he looked over and saw me, got up and came to me. He waited for me to put his halter on. I didn’t attach the lead rope as sometimes the other horses can become pushy and it is very muddy, but he joined up in a walk with me shoulder to shoulder immediately. Even when I turned to say hi to an approaching horse, he turned with me. We exited the gate and he went on to find some nibbles in the aisle.

I groomed him some in the aisle but he was so muddy it must have been a little irritating so I stopped and just hung with him. When I started to go up to the barn, he started walking too, with me just a little behind, as if I was leading him from behind, I felt like I was because he was not stopping to nibble, just strolling with me. When he got to the square ahead of the barn, he went one way and I went the other. I sat near the barn just enjoying the sunshine and being with him. I quieted my mind, and allowed myself to be completely immersed in the moments.

I went and greeted him a few times when he would look up at me, then returned. He came over to me, nuzzled me and we headed into the barn. I washed off all the thick, crusted mud on his belly and legs, and he was completely relaxed. We walked into the arena. He enjoyed a roll and then we practiced hellos and he started companion walking with me. When he went to stand by the exit door, I would continue walking around and when he looked at me with two eyes I would approach him, and if he looked away, I would leave, until the time he kept his gaze on me the whole approach. Then I would say hello and say thank you.

He is generally the lowest on the pecking order, but when I took him back to the pasture and put him in, another horse immediately came to inspect him. He had a new sense of confidence and held his own, playing and running and leading another from behind. I found that priceless. I was in the aisle mesmerized with the play for about 10 minutes, just watching and when I went to leave, he saw me walking away and he looked at me, stopped playing, and walked across the pasture to me, relaxed and looking at me the entire time. It was very endearing. I said hello and was happy to find a small carrot piece for him. He contentedly smiled and put his head into some hay on the ground, and I thanked him again and took my leave.

Thank you for all you are teaching Carolyn, and to all of you who write your stories, it is starting to become a part of me and is taking my bond deeper and the connection I am feeling is amazing and we are just at the beginning.