When to Not Use the Reed in the Waterhole Rituals
Jul 20th, 2010 by Carolyn Resnick Method
Hello. Work is progressing well with my book and we are aiming to have it finished by the beginning of December. I’m very excited about it. We have been taking some wonderful photos for it so it will be more like a coffee table book. I will also be discussing horse and herd behavior and how it relates to our lives and society, so I’m sure you’re going to love it.
OK, on to today’s blog post and I’d like to share with you a little more from the Insider Circle. So one of my students asked:
I am working with a horse who really isn’t a perfect candidate for this. She is complicated and I knew that from the get-go….she is a Marilynne. She is the only horse accessible to me and I wanted to learn what you had to teach so that I would grow and be able to work with her as she heals. We are in the beginning stages of sharing territory and saying hello. She is learning to love both of these rituals.
I am still pondering how to help her overcome her fear of the reed. The look in her eyes when she sees anything resembling a whip in my hands is sheer terror. I have often thought that it is like showing a gun to someone who has once been shot in the heart. We are still at the point that our connection is severed if she sees me carrying a reed. It is as if she says “oh, so you are one of them after all….” I hope with time and patience along with increasing trust that we can move past this.
I am finding your method has such far reaching effects and benefits in all areas of my life. I am using it with tremendous success taming “wild” goat babies. Sharing territory and saying hello is working like a charm with them…..
And here was my answer:
Actually, Marilynne (the mare in our training videos) is not good with the reed either. I would advise you not to use the reed at this time with your horse because it is putting a wedge in your connection.
With Marilynne I invent games that are short, that focus on getting her comfortable with the reed and then after about 5 minuets of these reed games, I don’t carry it with me any more. I can now touch her with it and she is adjusting but I put it way for most of our work together. I let her see the reed when I want to give her food so when she sees the reed she knows it is time to eat.
The time you take will be quite worth the effort. It always is. The gratefulness that these horses offer is heart warming.
Keep up your efforts of let time bring about the bond.
There may be faster ways but moving things along quickly in the relationship usually does not create deep healing.
I trust that will help you.
Love and magic
Carolyn
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Insider Circle
Hello Carolyn,
Using the reed has helped me become softer, and to slow my energy down. At first, my boy over reacted when he saw me carry the reed, and he kept a close eye on it. You said to lay the reed down in the pasture and see if he was afraid of it then. It was not the reed he was afraid of, it was me with the reed. Thank you for your wisdom. I have developed softer body language that gets the job done. The reed is seldom used, and then only as a back up to my body language.
Love the insiders program , Love this Blog too! Caroline is great, also I have found that if my horse explodes I am doing something wrong not them, I check myself then resume amazing work and connection
Dear Carolyn;
Unfortunately, I had desensitized my horse to the reed about a month before I found your website. I had desensitized her to alot of things using clicker training, round pen training or whatever other training aids I could find on the net.
When I met your website, I just stopped everything and slowed way down. I wish I would have found you first, but she has come a long way in such a short time.
I keep my reed with me all the time when I am with her. I can touch her anywhere with it and she will not budge. I usually have to tap her with it a couple times before she will move. She smells it, nibbles it and I even let her carry it off a few feet and she usually drops it. She does not fear it or me. Sometimes she even tells me I don’t need it and she will try to take it away.
We share territory every day. Halter training, saddle, bridle, feeding manners, and grooming have all been a breeze with your method. We are now working on touching ears, underbelly, and companion walking. We actually did companion walking for the first time yesterday and she just followed like she had been doing it forever. It was awesome! She does anything I ask of her, unless I send a mixed message, but I’m working on that too.
I love your website and can’t wait for your new book. I hope you are able to finish it before Christmas, because it is going to be number one on my Christmas list.
Please let me know when your next “In the box” and/or “Inner Circle” classes will start. I would love to join in at least one of them.
Hi
I enjoyed this information and it reminded me of my first horse a TB named Jo. When I got him he was 12 years old and already had 9 owners. I remember when I had a pony club riding instructor help me learn on Jo and my friend had a lunge line on him and I was riding and as soon as my friend picked up the “whip” I could feel the vibration of fear in Jo coming from his feet to his head which became so high. I asked my friend to drop the whip and Jo’s attitude and body changed so quickly. I realised something had happened and I had to remember this when playing with him on ground or riding. I found by using my 12ft lines and making my arms, body, eyes and feel was all I needed to get Jo to move in any direction. He became softer and I am sure that was always how he was it is just humans did not know this in his earlier life. Jo has taught me so much and I love him for that, it has helped me with my other horses and their issues with the “reed” no matter what shape or form it comes in. If the bond is there with my horse, and they can read my actions and thoughts, I dont need much more than that in our relationship. We get through what we need to, whether it is a slow or faster process, it works for all of us. It might take time, it also takes love and patience and understanding.
Carolyn,
you are right, every situation is different and requires a sensitive approach. I am riding with a dressage whip and my 25 year old warmblood has no problems with it if I use it as an aid. If one, however stands on the ground beside him and tries to get him to move forward with a tap on his hind quarters he totally closes off. One could break anything on this back, he would not move; but he would not trust you either any more.
The reed confuses him when he sees it move, but he does not mind to be touched with it lightly.
We seldom have the fortune of having a horse from birth on and being able to bring him only good memories. Anything what happened in the first part of their lives get stored in their memory bank, especially if it was painful. So, it is our job to be trustworthy and let them forget bad memories. Let’s take the time it takes, it certainly is worth it.
Juergen,
Gunner would take off like a shot if he saw a reed in my hand that first day. He was lounged a lot, plus he hated any thing resembling a whip. He did like holding things a lot, so I decided to just leave it on the ground. He chewed several, and I would pick up the very short pieces and rub him. Gradually, the pieces got longer, and of course he was allowed to chew them to death any time he wanted. Hey, they are cheap. I still have to be aware of my energy when using a reed with him. The slightest intent will move his feet, and it turned out to be great practice for me to keep my energy low.
The Jacks that I am working with (big Jack and Pepper Jack) still can’t tolerate the reed, so no reed. I figured you do whatever works for the horse. The cool thing is, those Jack’s will move with just a thought, and the slightest ask. If they hadn’t been so afraid of the reed I might never have noticed how very soft and light they are. Once we get that trust and bond strong, I’ll see about killing a couple of reeds and stomping them good. Ya know how dangerous those horse killing reeds can be.
I could be mistaken, but wasn’t it Monty Roberts that said, “It takes the time it takes”?
Hi Carolyn,
When my quiet gentle mare Folly first saw a whip in my hand, her head went up, her eyes got wide, and she started to back away. I dropped it on the ground and opened my hands to her, so she would see they were empty. I have never since then picked up a whip in her presence.
Yet she is calm and responsive when I carry the reed, and I have never had to wave it at her. I just raise it in my hand, and she responds without fear. She has been able to smell it, touch it with her nose, and even nibble on it.
Whether it is the way I presented it to her, or the fact that it looks like grass, she is able to accept it, and I use the reed to emphasize a direction in a way I cannot do with my hands.
Bonnie
Checking in, good advices on the reed, i could not use anything that looked like a reed for more than a year. Today with most of the horses I can use a small branch from a tree to show direction.
I have learned through your method to use my body language, more hands, arms, my mind and also my eyes to direct my horses if needed.
Looking forward to read your new book!
All the best from the Caribbean.
Dear Carolyn,
thank you for this post. This is the only coherent and truly horse oriented answer that I can imagine to this dilemma. So many so-called natural horseman resort to all kinds of methods that speed things up (for show effect), but end up violating the bond and the horse’s healing process.
Life takes time, right?
All my best,
Christian
Hello!
Question — when do you use/not use the reed when the horse is NOT afraid of it?
With Maia, she’s not afraid of the reed, and it does help her respond to me from a farther distance away. Should I just switch back and forth from using and not using it so that neither of us get dependent on it? Or only use it if I need to reinforce something more fundamental, like Taking Territory?
Thanks!
Hannah
Dear Hannah,
That sounds like a great approach. With your ability and talent, I know you will know best.
Carolyn
Super, thank you!
By the way, I LOVE your avatar/profile picture.
Hannah