Expectations be gone!! I have gone from ice boxes to refrigerators, from fans to air conditioners, from wild horses to Arabians and back.
I have experienced closets in homes three feet wide as being more that enough room, to walk in closets as big as rooms not big enough. I have experienced a running hose in the backyard at 100 degrees in the desert with my Mother’s dish pan as my pool and the hose as my fountain. Today I have a friend whose swimming pool rivals that of a theme park. I am now living in a culture that is less satisfied, where the games are only focused on being competitive. I prefer games that are creative and bring communities together working on a creative project or dance.
Today I love to watch cooking shows because of the art and culture of it and the history and the way to bring joy to friends though cooking.
All the shows are a contest built on speed and performance and frustration. Yes, frustration is part of the show and if frustration was not there, the show might be considered boring. It seems that frustration is a good thing in all these shows because the more anger and frustration the cooking shows can produce, the more the rating go up. The public likes to be in a hurry and frustrated. All the shows are about frustration and a lot of confusion created by our expectations in how it should be in order to bring us peace.
Frustration becomes so much a part of life that we are attached to expecting disappointment and focus on what is not working instead of what is.
So the question I want to address is: how to help you with the frustrations of hitting the wall of a not so great day with your horse, and when we are not getting the results we hope for- to look at why things might come apart when we least expect it.
The reason can be that when you say you least expect it is a tip off that you expected something. You do not want to fall into that trap. Don’t be disappointed because it will only sadden you more. Bring more well being to yourself by being aware that everything is fine the way it is and if your horse does not agree with you, take him to a place that would bring him well being too. What happens at this point of the program for some is that they turn into 'over-expectors' and achievers. It is what I call slipping into the 'trainers mind' or 'expert' and losing the art of leadership and allowance.
Another reason fall out happens is the day before was so perfect the horse thought every thing was his idea and creates a take over. Yet another reason for a fall out is that you did something that created it the day before. Two ways to handle this is one: introduce something new, or two: sharing territory and enjoy the reconnection time you spend and slow down.
When there is an ebb in the relationship sit or dance but do not expect. Do not act when you are confused. When you are confused you are needy and wishy-washy or overly aggressive. Time will wash this state away and your answers will return so relax and enjoy. When there is a flow lead the way.
When you have separated from your horse put your interest on Sharing Territory with him. On your return, evaluate his connection and disconnection with you and come up with a program that would create a dance in well being or share territory in a state of appreciation for the way things are and find things to laugh about.
Give yourself permission to take a vacation with plenty of dinner and dancing with your horse and lots of relaxation!
Have a great weekend!