The Road Back to My Passion by Erica Dixon
This blog was written by Erica Dixon, who came to California to be a student in the Waterhole Rituals Apprenticeship Program for one month. I hope everyone gets a chance to work with Erica and be touched by her talents.
The Road Back to My Passion:
Years ago I had a passion for classical dressage which gradually evolved in my imagination into a magical dance where both horse & rider were fully alive in a state of joy. This was much more than just a set of movements strung together in the traditional way. In my mind it wasn’t supposed to be that way at all. I have a strong imagination and thanks to Carolyn I now understand that this is a very good thing.
I’d occasionally seen this kind of dance in some horse rider combinations who were maybe doing an exhibition show so I knew it was possible. I took a few clinics with excellent horsemen & women but always there was something missing. We all know this feeling in some way or another don’t we? It is why so many of us read this blog and take Carolyn’s classes & clinics. It brings me such joy to know that there are so many other people around the world who have this feeling. Together we are stronger & we will make a difference.
Below is My True Story:
It is about my literal journey back to the passion that I had lost at some point after years of working with horses. I feel my story is also a metaphor that reflects the journey or the long road of building a cross species bond with a horse through the Waterhole Rituals. When I first stumbled upon Carolyn’s method it gave me hope that I could do what I always wanted to do. Carolyn and her method actually ended up building the bond back between my soul & my physical self. We didn’t know that was happening in the early days but we sure do now!
Back to the Passion for Dressage:
In 2000 I gave up riding in a bit and that was one part of the whole scenario behind my departure from that scene because back then nobody but nobody would train with you if you refused to use one. Over the 2000’s I started a few horses & schooled them on a little whilst also working in the area of natural horse health and the barefoot movement. What I did mostly with my own horses was ride out over our glorious English countryside. I didn’t know it at the time but what I was actually doing was exactly what I was supposed to be doing on my long road. I was having fun on those rides & not taking life so seriously. My horses were having fun. The long rides we took together helped me in an almost meditative way yet at the same time I was aware that if I slipped too far into the deep recesses of my mind that my horse would become nervous & start spooking. So my horse would keep me grounded. I was always one for stopping & enjoying the view whilst letting my horse eat the hedgerows or get in a stream & have a splash about. This was the good life. I never seemed to be able to translate this feeling to the arena though.
In 2010 I all but gave up working in the horse business due to feeling disillusioned by the way some horse people behaved. At the time I just felt down and it took a while to realize what had really got to me. I decided to keep my own horses for fun as I’d trained for a change of career. My soul however had other ideas. What I am about to say has become so classic in this era of self-growth & spirituality that I can practically see a bunch of my readers nodding their heads.
I gave up. I let go. I breathed.
I let all the pain of having worked with so many messed up horses go. I stopped feeling like I needed to fight for a better way. I stopped fighting. I gave up. I let go & then it found me. I’d been playing around with a method of training for about a year & had no idea that this person had been trained by somebody called Carolyn Resnick. One day I stumbled onto her blog. To this day I have no idea why that happened. When that happens to me I know it was because something unseen of a spiritual nature steered me there. I have even tried to block this & rationalise this in my life but it has now happened too many times for me to do that anymore. I have done too much work on aligning with my soul to rationalise it! I just know its true because it makes me feel on top of the world when it happens. That is a feeling you want to hang onto when you are training a horse!
In spring 2011 I took my first online Waterhole Rituals course. I knew immediately that I was home!
In December 2012 I came to an 8 day clinic at Carolyn’s ranch with a bunch of friends & fellow students who I had met through the online Waterhole Rituals Courses. We were so excited to actually meet in person. We all laughed so much at that clinic. We all learned so much at that clinic. I was not sad to leave though. I was not sad because I had a deep knowingness that I would be back. I also had a deep knowingness that I had been put in the right direction, but that I had a little more soul work to do first in order to get to the next level. This was about aligning with who I really was so that I came from a place of true authenticity and love with a big zest for life. A few months later I started manifesting that I would spend a month at Carolyn’s. This was new territory for me. At first it was happening without me knowing because I kept seeing myself living at the ranch when I was either drifting off to sleep or waking up. It happened sporadically but often enough that in the end I had to pay attention to it and go with that flow we hear so much about. This was my soul talking.
Fast forward to the 25th February 2015 and I am on a plane bound for California. I bet you all think I was insanely excited to be on that plane don’t you? Well I wasn’t! Weird huh? Oh yes I was happy alright. I was in blissful happiness but I wasn’t feeling excitement. I didn’t feel excited because there was no adrenaline behind my feelings. It was all heart. I was in the zone. I was in the flow. I was being allowing. Well most of the time! The times I wobbled I was simply put back on my path by what ended up being one sign after another. I lost count actually how many times this happened. At first I was weirded out by it all & then I just started laughing about it.
I’ll give you an example:
A few weeks before I was due to leave I hurt my lower back so badly that I couldn’t get out of bed without extreme pain. My husband later on told me he’d never, ever seen me like this before & was worried and he is not the worrying type. It turned out that I had twisted my pelvis & sprung my sacroiliac joint in a crazy way that I’d never done before. So I went to my chiropractors. My regular guy was away & couldn’t see me. So they gave me an appointment with Eric (& remember my name is Erica). Eric was from California. Not only that but when he was a small boy he lived in Escondido with his parents. I said “Oh! That is where I’m going!” Of all the places in the huge state of California it was this small town where Carolyn lives that he had lived. You can’t make this stuff up!
I spent some time at a friend’s place to get over the jet lag & then it was down to Carolyn’s for my month’s training. Over the 4 weeks Carolyn figured out who I was. She’s really good at that! She actually saw who the real me was very quickly. We connected deeply too. She figured out how to get me to be at my fullest potential and I was totally up for it. It was like I was this big cake full of many ingredients and she put the topping on. Followed by the icing decorations. Followed by some edible glitter & a cherry on top for good measure! We spoke deeply on many subjects not just horses. We laughed all the time. I learned so much I am totally full right now at the end of my month, yet I am unbelievable hungry! Hungry for the future. Hungry to get out there & help the horse community. Hungry to help people help their horses.
I believe that my long road of (yet more) self discovery led me to the short road of being primed to learn thick & fast in just four weeks.
I Believe I was Primed for Learning Because:
I had a good feeling about life & felt a bond with my mentor.
I had trust.
I had willingness.
I had focus.
We created a partnership that ended up causing magic!
Wow what a ride! Thank you Carolyn from the fullest part of my heart.
by Erica Dixon
Notes from Carolyn:
Wow, Erica! What a ride we had together during your month here at the Ranch. It was so lovely to share your dreams, thoughts and your love of horses. I can see that you have a fabulous future ahead with horses and I am happy to be a part of that with you. Please keep all of us informed on your magical journey.
Have a great weekend everyone! Be on the lookout for new horse and human sightings and may the horse be with you.